Chapter 9
Danny was sitting at his kitchen table eating a bowl of cereal. There was nothing nutritional about it, but it brought him closer to his daughter. Side by side, they shoveled small squares of sugar into their mouths in silence. It was the best way to spend his Saturday.
“So, what can you tell me today?” Danny asked his daughter.
Molly was excited because she and Liza were going on some kind of mini spa day with Alyssa. For the one-hundredth time, Danny was thankful he was lucky enough to buy the house beside Alyssa’s. It made getting a babysitter much easier. It made late shifts, forgotten teddy bears and homework easier. Molly could just come right across the yard. When Danny finished a late shift, he would just walk across the lawn and carry her into her bed.
“Are you listening?” Molly asked.
“I’m sorry. Go ahead,” Danny said.
Molly rambled on about her week, her friends at school and all the things he’d missed. She decided she no longer liked strawberries but she was still deciding on blueberries. She wanted to join the dance team that Liza left because she liked the way ballerinas looked. Some boy was picking on another girl in class and Molly swore she wouldn’t let the boy do that to her and she was going to say something the next time she saw the boy picking on the girl because it wasn’t right.
He was so in love with this little human. Behind her, Danny could see the picture of Kim on the wall and his heart ached that she was missing all this. His gratitude for his little girl grew every day. The loss of Richie last week had just amplified his emotions. Just thinking about Richie hurt.
“What’s wrong dad?” Molly asked, putting her hand over Danny’s.
“I was just thinking how sad it is that mommy isn’t here to see how wonderful you are,” Danny said.
“Mom is always here,” Molly said, putting her hand over heart, “and in my dreams. She visits me all the time daddy. It’s OK.”
Danny was blown away. His daughter was beyond wise. “I’m so lucky to have you,” he said with a smile, turning his hand over so his daughter's hand was in his. “I’m glad I get to spend the day with you.”
“Me too, Dad,” she said before drinking the milk from her cereal bowl.
*****
Sarah walked out of her yoga class, barely keeping herself from running. She was in a rush, which she hated to do right after yoga. It defeated the purpose. Yoga was time to relax. To rush out right after made her tense again and negated the effort. She was meeting her sisters downtown for lunch at a sushi place she loved. She was excited for all four of them to be together. She was the youngest, which was annoying sometimes. Sarah didn’t like being the baby of the family. It was unnatural and she could feel it. If her brother had lived, she would have been second to youngest. She was twenty-four, Eva at twenty-seven, Jess at twenty-nine, and Corrine at thirty-two. Corrine had her first baby six months ago. Jess and Eva were both planning weddings, so there was lots to catch up on.
Sarah climbed out of the Uber and walked up to the sushi place, a bit conscious of her attire since she just came from yoga class, regretting she hadn’t packed a change of clothes.
“Ducky!” Corrine said, running from her car to hug Sarah. Corrine pulled back from the hug and pushed her shades up to sit on the top of her head. With her shades and trendy jumpsuit, Corrine looked like she just came from a photo shoot.
“Rin,” Sarah said, whining, “I thought I told you to stop effing calling me that."
“No,” Jess said, stepping up in a long flowing dress and a headband around her head like a halo. “You decided that. We never agreed.” She smiled and wrapped her arms around Sarah before she could protest.
Sarah pulled out of Jess’ arms and turned to her immediate older sister, Eva. Eva was dressed in a leather jacket with a white V-neck and black jeans, chunky boots and a trendy choker. Eva smirked before pulling in Sarah for a hug. “Hey Ducky,” she said and pulled her in, so good to see these babes.
“Would you guys cut it out with the fucking Ducky please?” Corrine said, walking towards the restaurant door. “Let’s go in. I’m starving.”
Sarah felt like it was a family reunion. She hadn’t seen all her sisters together in one place in a little over half a year. Not caring who was looking, they all hugged each other tightly again before sitting back down. Side-by-side they looked like cardboard cut-outs of each other. They all had varying shades of blonde hair and blue eyes, but Eva had a pixie cut. Sarah’s hair was the longest, almost reaching her waist and currently in a braid from yoga class. Corrine’s was cut above her shoulders, looking every bit the new mom she was, while Jess’s hair was in beach waves with hot pink tips.
“You were obviously at a class before lunch Sarah,” Eva stated sarcastically as they sat down.
“Ya, regretting I didn’t pack a change of clothes but whatever,” Sarah said, rolling her eyes. Eva loves to get a rise out of people.
“Jesus Christ, Eva, shut up.”
“Can’t we all just get along?” Jess asked.
“I was just saying. The rest of us look like we knew we would be here,” Eva said, ducking her head to read the menu. “She looks like she just rolled out of bed.”
“Do you know how stressful my job is? I need to make time for yoga,” Sarah said, winding the ends of her hair around her finger.
“You can make time for that, but you can’t make time to change your clothes,” Eva said, turning a page in her menu dramatically.
“You’re such a bitch, Eva.” Sarah slammed down her menu. “You’re undoing everything I just did. At this rate, I’m going to have to go back today.”
“I’ll show you 'bitch,'” she said, yanking the bottom of Sarah’s braid again.
Corrine slapped her hand down on the table loudly, getting everyone’s attention. “You two stop for just a second so the waiter can take our drink orders,” Corrine said and smiled at the young man. He stood to the side of the table, looking both awkward and amused by the show. Sarah didn’t miss how Eva was smirking at her and nodding at the boy, as if Sarah should make a move with the waiter. To Sarah, the waiter barely looked legal.
“A round of water for everyone,” Corrine said and added, “and an orange juice and gin for me.”
“A mimosa for me,” Eva said.
“Lemonade, please,” Jess added.
“Just some limes for my water,” Sarah ended.
“'Just some limes for my water,'” Eva mocked Sarah and bumped her shoulder.
“I swear to God, if you two don’t stop it right now,” Corrine said between clenched teeth, causing them both to settle down. “Now. Before we lose all sense of sensibility. What’s new with everybody?”
“Well I just got a promotion to store manager,” Jess said in her low, melodic voice. She was the hippie of all of them. She worked in a hemp clothing store and was usually sending the group emails on eating vegan and recycling. She meant well, but her sisters did not share her sensibility. The girls all added their congratulations in before Sarah, who was seated next to Jess, added her news in.
“I’m finally going to be a registered nurse and I like my new rotation. Tampa Hospital isn’t what I thought it would be,” Sarah said.
“What were you thinking it would be?” Corrine asked.
“I don’t know,” Sarah said, shrugging. “I thought maybe bloodier and raunchier. But it’s not like that at all. It is a great place to work, I am super happy. Great doctors.”
“Please tell me hot, too.” Eva smirked thinking nasty thoughts.
“What is wrong with you, Eva? Is that the only thing you think about it?” Sarah frowned.
“If by ‘it’ you mean 'sex,' then yes, and maybe you would think of it too if you got laid more often.” Eva teased.
Sarah gasped. “Oh my God. Enough you perv.”
“I know enough from that little gasp,” Eva said, wagging her fingers in Sarah’s direction.
Sarah turned red and Eva gasped.
“Ducky! Are you still a god damn virgin?” she whispered.
“That is none of your business,” Sarah said, turning a deeper red.
“Oh. My. God.” Eva said before laughing.
“Eva, please. You’re embarrassing the girl.”
“She’s embarrassing herself.” Seeing how embarrassed Sarah was, Eva’s tone changed. “What’s the problem, Ducky? Are you scared or something? I promise it doesn’t hurt. I mean it hurts a little the first time but there’s no way around that and it’s a good hurt,” Eva said with a dirty smirk. “You just need to relax. Do guys want you? Maybe it’s because you’re so uptight.”
“Of course guys want me,” Sarah said with exasperation. “And I’m not uptight.” Sarah crossed her arms over her chest.
“Okay,” Eva smirked, “you’re not uptight. There’s no explainable reason why you haven’t gotten laid yet.”
Sarah clamped her mouth shut tightly, waiting as the waiter set down all their drinks.
“Are you guys ready to order?” the waiter asked, clasping his small notebook to his chest.
Sarah couldn’t remember if he had introduced himself or told them his name but she couldn’t meet his eye. Her face was too red. The waiter must have read the mood at the table.
“I’ll give you a few more minutes,” the waiter said, excusing himself.
“I am not uptight,” Sarah gritted.
“Yes, you are,” Eva retorted, barely acknowledging the waiter. “All uptight people say that. If you weren’t uptight, you wouldn’t have to announce it.”
“You are kind of uptight,” Corrine agreed with a sympathetic look.
“See?” Eva said, smiling in victory.
“She’s not uptight,” Jess said, coming to her rescue. “Perhaps just a bit focused on other things in life.”
Or so Sarah thought. “Hey! What is that supposed to mean?” Sarah asked.
“I mean, when’s the last time you had a boyfriend?” Jess asked with kindness, but it still was an accusation.
“It’s been at least three years,” Corrine said before sipping her lemonade.
“That’s not true. I was dating for a bit last summer,” Sarah pouted.
“You call that dating? You went out with Henry,” Eva accused.
“Exactly,” Sarah said, as if the matter should be closed.
“He was your high school sweetheart. That was not a real date. You doubled back. It doesn’t count, plus he was just hoping to finally get laid after being deprived in high school,” Eva said.
"Ugh. You guys are such assholes. Why has this conversation turned into an assault on my sex life? I have been busy."
"With what?" Eva threw her arms up in frustration.
"Well, unlike some of us," Sarah said with a bit more emphasis than usual, "I was in school. Studying to be a nurse, so I can help save lives," Sarah added to make them feel worse.
Eva was going through what Corrine was calling a "finding herself” phase. She was in between jobs and playing guitar at poetry clubs at night to make ends meet.
"You got a degree in nursing, Sarah. You weren't studying to be a rocket scientist," Eva said.
"Are you kidding me? Nursing school is really hard. Nurses are really important. Who do you think helped Corrine deliver her daughter? A nurse," Sarah said.
"That's what I mean," Jess said, reaching forward to soften her words with a touch to the hand. "You care more about ambition than getting laid."
"It's not that I care more about one or the other. I'm just focused. And you're wrong. I can find sex and a man if I want to." Sarah felt like a child. "I already had an encounter with a guy at work."
"So, there are fine doctors there?" Eva smirked like she'd won, but Sarah couldn’t figure out what the victory was.
"Yes. There are plenty of nice-looking doctors. There is one particular smoking hot doctor."
"So, give us all the details," Corrine said, leaning forward with her straw in her mouth.
"Corrine, you're married," Sarah said.
"Exactly, more reason to share. I have to live vicariously through you now. I’m not planning to sleep with him. I just want to fantasize, like every other woman at this table. I have eyes in my head like the rest of y'all," she said, joking, waving her hand like she was coaxing the words from Sarah.
"Well, he has brown eyes and black hair. He's tall and super fit. It's clear that he makes time to work out. He's an amazing doctor. He's kind and patient. A few days ago, a patient died and I just lost it, because it was too much, like Josh, you know?"
The sisters nodded. Eva refused to discuss Josh. Jess didn’t mind listening to stories of Josh, but struggled to find closure. Corrine was better at dealing with her feelings.
"So I ran to the first closet I found and bawled my eyes out. Doctor Struthers found me and instead of telling me to pull it together or make me feel embarrassed, he sat in there with me. He—" Sarah paused, remembering his arm around her and the way he made her feel. It was easy to remember his cologne and her lips raised in a faint smile. "He was perfect."
"Please tell me he put that look on your face with more than a calming back rub," Eva said.
"Ugh. Eva, you are a pig. Why does Ryan even want to marry you?"
"So imagining you were lucky enough to have sex in an on-call room is too much to ask for?" Eva picked dirt from her nails.
"This is not Grey's Anatomy. This is my life." Sarah took a gulp of water, to calm her flushed face.
"Well that is obvious. I know I'm not the only one hoping you got dicked in the closet."
“Okay! Enough! This convo is over.”
Corrine added, "We just want to see you happy, Sarah."
"I am happy." It sounded like she was yelling to convince them instead of actually being happy.
"If you say so," Eva said, grumbling as the waiter returned.
“I am. Why does that have to include a man?” Sarah said.
“It doesn’t have to, Ducky, we’re just saying you could do with some companionship in your life,” Corrine said.
“Hell, just a one-night stand. Companionship might be too much. We’re not asking you to get married, we're just saying you’re almost twenty-five; you could stand to let the V-card go,” Eva said.
“It’s never a bad idea to make love and not war,” Jess said.
"Are we ready?" the waiter said, walking back to the table with his notebook open and pen poised to write.
"Sure are," Corrine said, taking control. "I’ll have three Philadelphia rolls, a crab crunch roll and a spicy shrimp roll."
"Four vegetarian rolls," Jess said, snapping her menu closed.
"A spicy salmon roll, spicy tuna roll, spicy yellow-tail roll and a fiery shrimp roll," Eva ordered.
"I hope you get heartburn," Sarah murmured.
"What was that?" Eva asked, squinting at Sarah.
"I'll have an Atlantic roll, California roll, crab special roll, crab crunch roll, and an eel cucumber roll," Sarah ordered and the waiter quickly departed.
"Can we talk about something else already?" Sarah asked.
“Sure, Ducky, but before we move on, let me say this,” Corrine said.
Sarah opened her mouth to protest but seeing Corrine’s face, she allowed her to continue talking.
“We’re not saying you can’t be alone or that it’s a terrible thing to be a virgin. You can stay a virgin and be a nurse and be amazing. You are already all those things, BUT… but, if you can look inside yourself and honestly say you don’t feel a little lonely or are wondering what it’s like to be with someone, you should take the time to find out. If that doctor you mentioned is nice and seems interested in you, you should give him a chance. Open yourself up to whatever can happen with him. You could do worse. He’s a doctor,” Corrine said with a soft smile.
Sarah, with tears in her eyes, smiled and nodded.
"Okay,” Eva said, "we’ve gone over Sarah's boring life and an encounter with a hot doctor. There's potential there. We'll revisit that in a few months," Eva said, continuing over Sarah's grumbling, "Let's move on to the new mama bear," she said, referring to Corrine’s new baby.
"You look good," Jess said to Corrine. It was no secret how unhappy Corrine was about the baby weight she had put on.
"Thank you. I joined a weight loss group and it's really helping," Corrine said.
"How much are you trying to lose?" Eva asked.
"I have eighteen more pounds," Corrine said.
"You'll get that in no time," Jess added.
"Thanks guys," Corrine said, ready to take the attention off herself. "You guys should see Shana." She pulled her phone from her purse.
"She's getting so big!" Jess took the phone and enlarged the picture on the screen. "Oh my God, so adorable," she said, handing the phone to Eva.
"Swipe left," Corrine said and Eva pumped her fist in the air, seeing the little girl was wearing the Rockstar t-shirt Eva bought for her.
"She looks like a little bad ass," Eva said.
"I hope she stays my little sweetheart right now," Corrine said as Eva passed the phone to Sarah.
"Shana is too adorable. I just can’t handle it," Sarah said, looking at another picture. "She looks just like John in the face, though."
"I know," Corrine said with a frown. "With that face, you would think I had no hand in making her."
"Poor thing, but at least she's still cute," Eva said.
"True," Corrine agreed. "Tell me about the wedding," Corrine added, talking to Eva. “Are you as stressed as I was when I planned mine?” Jess and Eva were both getting married, but one day apart so the families wouldn’t have to travel twice.
"It's going good. Dan is surprisingly really involved, which is annoying because he doesn’t know what he's talking about. I've read all the bridal magazines. He thinks everything is just pick this or that, but it's not. You have to do so much to make it come together," Eva said.
"Phil is the exact opposite. He's just like 'do whatever you want to do,'" Jess said.
"Of course he's like that, you guys are getting married outside," Eva said.
"We are getting married in the botanical gardens, not outside," Jess said with more sass than usual.
"I didn’t mean anything about it, just was saying it might not be as stressful as my situation," Eva said.
"Whatever you say," Jess said.
"Your weddings are in a month! So you must be done planning by now?" Sarah asked as the food was brought to the table.
"Yup. I'm done with everything. Just some last-minute dress measurements," Jess said and Eva nodded her head in agreement.
"That's great. I can't wait to wear my bridesmaid dress," Corrine said.
“Which one?” Eva asked.
Jess had everyone choose their own bridesmaid dresses in sunshine yellow, so everyone felt comfortable in what they were wearing. Which was a delightful change to the stereotypical overpriced ugly bridesmaid dress that no one would like or ever wear again. Eva, however, was determined to be the biggest bridezilla and make everyone wear pink gowns they would hate. It was a soft pastel pink, the color was good, but the design and the fit were horrible. The sisters had different body types. Eva was like a model—thin everywhere. Corrine still had baby weight and breastfeeding boobs. Jess had a big butt with no boobs, and Sarah had a little bit of both. The A-line dress was favorable on no one but Eva, but it was her wedding.
“Which dress doesn’t matter. I’ll be happy to stand beside both my sisters as they get married,” Corrine said, successfully dodging the bullet.
“I’m so excited,” Jess said with a big smile.
“Please tell me you’re planning to shave for the wedding,” Eva said.
Jess crossed her arms over her chest. “Eva, you know how I feel about shaving.”
“It’s just one day!” Eva threw her hands up in frustration.
“Hair is natural,” Jess said, squinting at Eva with frustration. “Bodies naturally grow hair. I see no reason in shaving it all off because of societal constraints. Phil knows everything about me and loves me. Hairy or not. So no. I will not shave just because it’s my wedding day.”
Eva sighed but didn’t respond.
“Thanks for asking,” Jess said with tight lips and ended the conversation by putting a sushi roll in her mouth.
Talking ceased as they began to eat and commented on how good their sushi was or handed plates around to share.
When the majority of the food was consumed, Corrine signaled for the check. "I hate to say this, but I've got to get going, ladies."
"Oh no, it feels like we just got here," Jess said.
"I know, but if I stay any longer, my tits will explode," Corrine said.
Eva laughed and stood to hug her sister. "I can understand that. Godspeed, new mamma."
The waiter brought separate checks and everyone paid up.
Jess stood too and hugged Corrine. "I was serious about my offer to babysit. If you need a break or something, you just call."
"I will take you up on that soon. Date night has been on the schedule for a while now," Corrine said, hugging her tightly.
The sisters hugged, picking on each other or reminding the other of something. Corrine hugged Sarah and whispered, "It's time you found someone. If this hot doctor makes a move, go with it. You deserve love and a career, too."
Sarah knew of all the sisters Corrine was the sincerest. She was happily married with a daughter but took her time getting to where she was. She hadn't been in any rush and was the last of her friends to settle down.
"Thank you," Sarah said.
The girls walked out together and hugged once more on the way to their cars.
"Sarah, you want a ride somewhere?" Eva asked.
She was the only one without a car and preferred walking. It was a bit out of character, considering Jess was the tree-hugger but her car was electric.
"No. I'm going to do some last-minute shopping,” Sarah said.
“Okay. Be safe,” Jess said. “Bye, Sarah.”
“Bye Ducky,” Corrine said, climbing into her SUV.
“See you around, sis,” Eva said, throwing her leg over her motorcycle.
“Bye guys,” Sarah said, waving until every vehicle was out of the parking lot.
Even though they gave her hell sometimes, Sarah loved how she felt when they were together. It was hard with four girls growing up, arguing over boys, makeup, clothes, and attention with their parents. They weren’t close as children, but now, older and on their own, Sarah valued every moment they spent together. Even though they sometimes were at each other’s throats, spending time with her sisters was the best way for Sarah to spend her time and after a stressful week, it rejuvenated her spirit.
Sarah left the sushi restaurant feeling fulfilled and content. Even with all the ribbing. With a small smile on her lips she crossed the street to a plaza with her favorite store and went in. She needed new pants.
"Welcome to Lululemon. Please let me know if I can help you with anything," the sales woman, helping another woman, said.
Sarah nodded, approaching the pants table, and grabbed a color she liked. The dressing room wasn’t locked so she let herself in to try them on. Sarah whipped off her shirt and stood in her sports bra and examined her body in the mirror. Fit like a glove as usual. Another color might be in order though as she reached for the lock and unlatched it to grab one other color.
HOLY SHIT.
Doctor Struthers was standing there staring at her. In shock, she stood there a moment, not moving and feeling that heat of attraction in her stomach and pure dread. She felt her face turn red as she smiled shyly and tried to think of something to say. The door beside her opened and a little girl bounced out.
"Daddy, I love this one," she announced. "Can I have it, please, please, please?" she begged.
Tearing his eyes from Sarah, he looked at the small girl and said, "Give me a twirl." She gave him a 360-degree view and, satisfied, he said, "Yes."
She hurried back into the dressing room, perhaps afraid he might change his mind, and Danny returned his eyes to Sarah. Unable to take his gaze from her, she realized he had the upper hand and didn’t care to hide just how attracted he was to her. His eyes started at her face and slowly trailed down her body. She could feel the heat of his eyes as he lingered on the bare skin of her abdomen and then returned to her face. She blushed even harder and spouted, "I just need a different color," she said grabbing another pair not even sure they are the right size.
"I like what you're wearing," Danny said as she ran back into her dressing room and hugged the pants to her chest totally freaking out.
Totally forgetting about the second color, Sarah redressed and tried to compose herself to come back out and face Doctor Struthers.