I didn’t revel in the idea of keeping Emily from having a birthday celebration. I felt awful about how I’d had to let her down, and would continue letting her down until I turned her in and never saw her again.

I was downright miserable, and it wasn’t made any better by the kindness she continued to show me, in spite of her disappointment. She had every right to be angry; it wasn’t as if the situation was actually fair. I would probably be pissed if the tables were turned, but there she was, acting as if this were the most natural situation in the world.

The fortunate thing about the safe house was that it was very small, and I didn’t have to work too hard to be able to keep an eye on her. The only windows were on the north facing wall, which meant there was a small window in the bathroom, as well as the windows in the living room. As I was spending much of my time on the ragged sofa positioned against the south facing wall, it meant I didn’t have to keep too close of an eye on Emily.

It left me plenty of time to reflect on my feelings for her. She had become almost impossibly sweet in spite of how cold I’d been, and while I knew I had to do what was best for the mission, it was still difficult to shake the desire to show her a good time.

Then again, her idea of a good time seemed to be tangling herself in the bedsheets with me, the poor repressed girl. She truly had no idea what she would be getting involved with, and once more, I battled with the thought that she wouldn’t be able to have a fling without feelings being involved.

Emily was a source of constant surprises, however. When I thought she would veer one way and give into melodramatic antics, she seemed happy enough to sit beside me on the couch and watch television. We didn’t exactly have an expensive cable package, only having a few channels to surf through before being forced to decide on something. She assured me that she didn’t mind watching a rerun of an old football game, and truthfully, there was nothing any more interesting on.

Hoping that she remained blissfully ignorant of the fact that she was haunting my thoughts, I glanced at her as inconspicuously as I could manage. She was fixated on the tiny television, resting her elbows on her knees as she hunched over on the impossibly hard couch.

I wondered if the novelty of the situation had begun to wear off yet, but she’d yet to indicate as such. It was getting late all the same, and I was really ready to go to bed. I couldn’t sleep until she decided she was good and ready to do so as well, because I wasn’t sure if I could trust her not to bust out of the place.

“You aren’t tired after all we’ve been through?” I asked, feigning a casual tone.

She shrugged a bit, not bothering to look at me.

“I’m a little sleepy, but I really want to get a shower in before I go to bed. I feel all grimy and…unappetizing,” she said with a slight smirk.

I didn’t really think about her request initially, only musing that unappetizing was just the opposite of how she looked. I wanted nothing more than to pin her down on those scratchy sheets and show her what she had been missing out on for so long.

Shaking off the thought, I was all too aware of her watching me with a timid little smile. For some reason, she seemed almost hesitant about the request, though I couldn’t exactly figure out why. I was fully prepared to send her off to the bathroom to wash up with the soap I could only hope had been stocked.

However, a thought suddenly hit me like a ton of bricks and I realized why she might have been nervous about asking.

With the window being in the bathroom, it would be foolish for me to allow her in there alone. She could easily turn on the shower and shimmy out the window without me being any the wiser. I was almost positive she wouldn’t do something as foolish as that, but I definitely wasn’t going to take any chances. She’d been something of a wild card, after all.

My first instinct was to tell her that she could just get a shower after I handed her over to the feds, and it would no longer be my problem. It seemed almost cruel to deprive her of such a simple pleasure, though.

Rubbing my chin thoughtfully, I considered my options. I could take a risk on her, but that just wasn’t going to happen. No way, no how. I mused that the only real option that held any measure of kindness was offering to supervise her while she washed up. I felt a stirring in my gut at the thought, but I made no move to voice it.

I was almost sure she would decline. After all, who could blame her? If she decided against the shower on her own accord, however, I would feel much less guilty than if I hadn’t offered at all.

Steeling my gaze, I tried to keep my expression cool and passive as I turned to face her. She immediately began to deflate, but against my better judgement, I reached out a hand to touch her shoulder. She reddened, awkwardly glancing at the place where my hand was resting.

“I understand if the answer is no, Owen. I can’t expect you to put your job on the line without being sure I won’t make a break for it,” she said sadly.

“You’re right. You can’t expect that. But, I have another option that we can consider,” I began, and she stared at me much like a deer in headlights.

I could immediately tell where her mind was going, and as much as I’d have liked the idea of showering with her, it just wasn’t going to happen. I wasn’t going to put her feelings on the line.

Before she could panic (or maybe even get her hopes up?) too much, I finished telling her my idea.

“I can wait outside the shower curtain while you’re washing up, and then I’d have some insurance that you can’t escape,” I offered.

It was obvious that she was somewhat dubious about the offer, though she began to look the part of the cat who got the canary after a moment. She took me by the wrist, pulling me in the direction of the bathroom. I was torn between disappointment that she hadn’t backed down, and a strange excitement that I didn’t dare voice.

“Thank you so much! I’ll feel so much better after getting nice and clean,” she gushed, smiling.

I resisted the desire to make a comment about her getting dirty immediately after, but I wasn’t entirely confident that I kept my expression from betraying my lewd thoughts.

Dragging me the final distance to the bathroom, Emily released me and stepped away to begin undressing. It was my turn to look shocked, and I quickly cleared my throat, steering her behind the shower curtain.

“You can undress in there,” I said assertively, and she giggled as I heard her shuffling around in the stall.

I didn’t really know what was so funny about me trying to be considerate, but soon, she peeked her head out and handed over her clothes.

“Seems like you don’t trust yourself to just…keep your eyes closed,” she said with a pleased little lilt in her voice.

I couldn’t exactly reply that she was entirely right, and that if I saw her naked body, I wasn’t sure what I would do to her. I simply shrugged, rubbing the back of my neck.

“Just trying to preserve your modesty. I wouldn’t want to make this arrangement any more uncomfortable than it needs to be,” I settled upon saying, and she only laughed again before slipping back behind the curtain.

I heard the knobs being turned, the water shooting out of the shower head in a gush.

“Ah! Damn—cold, cold,” she cried out.

My thoughts immediately turned to the effect that the cold water would be having on her body—specifically, a certain part of her body that I longed to play with. The thought of her nipples hardening as cold water flowed over her naked breasts sent a slithering tendril of desire coiling in the pit of my stomach.

“It’ll warm up; don’t be a baby,” I managed to get out.

She didn’t answer me, instead sighing in pleasure as the water got to a more bearable temperature. I could imagine her look of bliss, which would have imprinted itself on my memory forever, would I have been able to actually see it. The thought was tortuous enough.

“Mmm, it feels so good,” she murmured, but I was almost sure she knew I could hear her.

It wasn’t as if the bathroom was particularly large, so I was forced to remain achingly close to the shower curtain, and her naked body behind it.

I remained silent, feeling a stirring in my groin as she continued to sigh and moan. I knew she was trying to get a rise out of me, but I wasn’t going to let her know how much it was working. I was helpless to think about anything besides tearing the curtain open and pinning her to the wall.

“Hurry up, I don’t have all night,” I said gruffly, attempting to hide the arousal in my voice.

She whined, peeking out of the curtain. I felt her eyes travel south, and was suddenly aware of the growing bulge in my pants. She smirked, looking me in the eye with a mischievous expression.

“Okay, okay. You sure you don’t want to swap out? Seems like you could use a bit of alone time, unless of course—” she started, but I quickly cut her off.

“I’m fine. Just peachy, all right? I’m just tired,” I said icily, putting a stop to whatever dirty thought was playing in her mind.

I didn’t say as much, but I was putting a stop to my own crude thoughts as well.

“Just let me get rinsed off. Can you grab a towel?” she asked, her voice still painfully sultry.

I rummaged around in the cabinet, grabbing a large towel and pressing it into her waiting palm after she shut the water off. As I thought of her drying off, I realized I’d never been more jealous of an inanimate object in my life. I wasn’t even sure I’d been jealous of any inanimate object prior to that very moment.

“You’re going to have to turn around and face the door. I’m not getting my clothes wet,” she said.

“They’re…on the counter, then. Get on with it,” I grumbled, turning to face away from the shower. I could feel her presence behind me, steam flowing out from behind the freshly opened curtain. It would have been so easy to simply turn around and sweep her into my arms.

“All right, all dressed,” she reported.

I couldn’t admit how disappointed I was to see that she was telling the truth.