You know that vibe you get when you're at a party and you're kind of tipsy and your favorite Top 40 song comes on? I mean, something catchy—a Taylor Swift jam or something featuring Bruno Mars? You kind of just throw your hands up and shake your hips and holler the lyrics with zero fucks about whether or not you're on key. Because you and the music are one. 

Well, that's the vibe that breaks out across my living room floor when the Baby Shark song starts on the wall-mounted flat screen.

The kids take over the makeshift dance floor, partying hard. Jumping. Clapping. Flailing. I think Gaston is trying to twerk. God, help us. And from where I’m standing, Sebastian seems to be living his best life on that potty in the corner of the washroom.

Archie is in the middle of it, whirling around with them, dancing despite his subtle limp and the occasional wince on his face. And my heart is so full. So, so full watching that man.

What I did is crazy. Offering him a job here when he doesn’t know that one of the students is his daughter. Every time I think about it, my heart catapults into my throat.

I had no choice, though. I couldn’t let him leave town. Not when I’m starting to realize that telling him about River is the right thing to do. He’s a great guy and maybe he does want a family. Maybe he’d like to settle down. Maybe he’d be a wonderful dad. I’d never forgive myself if I let him walk away without exploring that possibility.

I need him. And I think he needs me. And he needs River even though he doesn't know her yet.

Now, I just have to build up the nerve to actually tell him about her. And I have to do it soon.

A part of me is scared that my friends might casually mention my daughter in conversation one day. I’d hate for Archie to find out that way. But he isn’t exactly on speaking terms with Charlie and Leo ever since he quit Hartley Construction. Plus, Nova and Reese have made it clear that they won’t be dishing out the scoop. If Archie and I want to get to know each other, we’re going to have to figure it out ourselves. No shortcuts. No cop-outs. I’m hoping they don’t change their minds before I get my act together and woman up to this man about our daughter.

So, today is Day 1 of Archie working here with me. The kids love him. He’s already taken so much responsibility off my plate. And it doesn’t hurt that he’s so much fun to look at.

I still get shivers thinking about the way he fucked me in his motel room last night. That man’s touch affects me like no other. I love the way it feels when we’re together.

But needing him like this is disorienting. Because I’ve spent the past two years trying to build myself up to the point where I don’t need anyone else’s help me stand on my feet. I’m self-sufficient and I’m proud. But I’ve got this niggling feeling in my belly telling me that as good as I’m doing on my own, Archie and me could be even better as a team.

That thought is scary. It rouses the deepest fears in me. It reminds me of a time when my existence revolved around being a cog in the wheel of someone else’s life. So why am I opening myself up to the idea of joining with Archie and trusting him and letting him all the way into my life? These are the questions I ask myself as I walk into the kitchen, listening to the music and laughter as I start chopping vegetables for tomorrow’s lunch.

The dance party keeps going well into the afternoon until the parents start showing up and, one by one, taking their kiddies home. By 5:30, most of the kids have left. Only Melody, Hannah and of course, River remain. I’m sitting on the colorful play mat in the living room, reading stories to the girls.

Archie comes and leans his shoulder on the doorframe. “Hey…” he says with a smile.

The toddlers are already distracted. They’ve ambled away and found toys to play with. I set the book aside and watch him. “Hey. Long day, huh?”

He looks tired. But happy. I see the way the corners of his eyes crinkle and the contented expression on his face. “Long day but I loved it.” He shoves his hands into the pockets of his pants. “These kids give me life.”

I laugh. “Yeah, tell me about it.”

His eyes go solemn. “I’m really happy we’re doing this together, Sophia.”

“I am, too.” My heart thump-thumps in my chest.

Our gazes linger on each other. Oh, the things this man makes me feel.

“Come ‘ere.” He walks over and grabs me by the wrist, yanking me to my feet.

“What are you doing?” I giggle as he pulls me around the corner where the children can’t see us. He pins me to the wall.

“This,” he says and I groan when his mouth makes contact with mine.

There’s restraint in the kiss. He’s holding back. Giving me a tiny sample of the lust buffet I’m craving. Last night, he was holding back, too. Yes, the sex was intense. It was crazy. I had four orgasms under my belt by the time he let me out of that sex dungeon.

But he hid himself from me. He fucked me senseless with his sweatpants around his hips. He wouldn’t allow himself to bare himself to me completely.

And I didn’t say anything because I can’t imagine what it must be like. Living with an amputation. Especially for a man as strong and protective and proud as Archie Jones. I wish he could trust me with his body the way I’m trying to trust him with my heart. But I guess we’re both works in progress.

I’ll be patient with him and hope for his patience in return.

I hear myself whimpering when he pulls away from our kiss. “I’m gonna get going,” he whispers, his lips brushing my cheek.

“Oh, okay.” I think he picks up on the disappointment in my voice.

He’s been here since 8:30 this morning but as they say, time flies when you’re having fun.

His tongue glides across his lips as he looks at me. “I need to get off my feet for a few hours but I could come back later, if that’s what you want…”

That offer sounds beyond amazing. I want to say yes. But I can’t, not until I’ve told him about River.

I give him a playful, little push. “No way. I’m beat after last night.”

Archie’s eyes glitter with mirth. “You sure, baby? Because you could have all this. All night long.”

The offer is tempting, I’ve got to say but I can’t. Even if I weren’t worried he’d find out about River, the truth is I’m tired. Very tired. I promised myself that I’d get started on painting the daycare center bit by bit each night this week but I keep putting it off because by the end of each day, I’m dead on my feet. “Rain check,” I tell him.

He kind of shrugs. “All right. Your loss.” He sweeps his hands up and down his gorgeous body. “I’ll just be in my dank hotel room under my ugly comforter thinking about you as I jerk off.”

I croak out a laugh and punch him in the shoulder. “You’re so weird.”

Archie smirks as he walks back into the living room where the girls are playing. I watch as he says goodbye to them, offering them each a high-five in turn.

When he gets to River, he seems to slow down. He smiles as he searches her face. And my punk-ass heart screams out, begging him to see her, to figure it out on his own so I don’t have to find the words to tell him that she’s his daughter. Instead, he picks her up and gives her a whirl in the air.

“Wheee!” she shouts cartoonishly as she flies overhead.

My chest goes tight, seeing my daughter with her father. You can’t continue to keep them apart, Sophia. They need each other.

He pinches her cheek and sets her back on the floor just as Hannah and Melody’s dad, Keeland, drives up to the curb outside.

Archie’s eyes stay focused on River as he backs away from her. He seems lost in thought as he grabs his sweatshirt from the hook in the entrance closet.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” I ask as he sets his hand on the door knob.

He glances back at me with a close-lipped smile. “See you tomorrow.” And he slips out the door.