15
The fury on Drew's face was more than Sarah could bear. The sword was heavy in her arms, seeming to get heavier by the second, but she did not want to let go. Being so close to him had already made her realize that she had stayed in this place for too long. She should never have helped the enemy, and yet in her heart she was still sure it was the right thing to do. Her mistake had been sticking around.
His hands grabbed at the ground around him, clawing like a wild animal to push himself forward. But with every inch of ground he made, Sarah stepped back, keeping the distance between them. She had already been too close to him, already felt the heat of his body next to hers, his strong arms around her, and the thought of it filled her with revulsion.
At least, it should have.
To her surprise and horror she felt the tingling sensation, as though a thousand fairies were dancing upon her skin, and it scared her. Drew was a handsome man, and that moment when she had been in his arms had filled her with a sweeping sensation of arousal, but she fought it with every fiber of her being. He was a Highlander, and she could not accept that she would ever have such feelings for him.
It was obviously just that she was confused. It had been a long day, and she was disoriented and exhausted. Her mind was playing tricks on her. There was no way she could ever be attracted to a brutish Highlander.
“I say again, lass, ye are a prisoner of war. If ye dinnae intend tae use that weapon ye should put it down,” he said in a rolling Scottish burr. Sarah clamped her eyes shut, trying not to find it pleasing to her ears.
“You are not in much of a position to make demands of me,” she said, mustering all the courage she could. She wasn't sure how much of it managed to make it through though.
“Let go of the sword and we can talk about this like adults,” he said.
Sarah kept hold of the sword, the tip pointing towards Drew. She had no idea if she could actually use it or not, and even though she didn't have much to fear from him because of his leg she wasn't about to let go of her only defense.
“There is nothing to talk about,” she said.
“Why did ye save my life if ye hate me so much? What are ye doing out here? Did ye know about the battle, or hae ye been outcast?”
Sarah didn't know which question to answer first.
“Do you think an outcast would wear a dress like this?” she said, looking down at the dress that had been intended for her wedding. It was in tatters now, torn apart and covered in blood and dirt. It was a sorry sight indeed, and yet she found herself glad that she was with this Highlander rather than standing with Lord Flynn at their wedding.
“That dinnae mean anything tae me, lass. Ye think I care what ye English wear? Perhaps I should hae seen it, but it was hard with my vision blurred and the pain dulling my instincts,” he scoffed, shaking his head. “Answer my questions. What are ye doing out here?”
Sarah was caught in a bind. The last thing she wanted was to be beholden to another cruel man. She had taken a risk to get away from one, and she wasn't going to be held by another. The thought of being a prisoner was abhorrent to her and she wasn't going to let that fate come to pass.
Yet she wasn't going to kill the man either. Even by holding the sword she knew that she did not have it in her to drive it through his heart. He looked well enough now. He'd had some water and berries, and he was able to push himself around. It was time for her to move on, to disappear into the woods again and put this sorry affair behind her. The war, the English nobility, and the Highlanders would all be a distant memory, and she would find happiness with someone she loved.
Breathing deeply, Sarah threw down the sword and turned away without saying another word. She didn't owe anything to this man. She had done him a kindness, and now it was time for her to leave.
However, she only got a few steps before she heard Drew rise up to his feet, and immediately crumple under the weight. A cry of agony burst from his lips and the ground shook as he fell onto it. Despite herself, Sarah could not let it happen without taking action. She ran to his side and helped him back to his resting place, propping him up against a rock.
Drew was breathing heavily, and looked panicked. Sarah went to get him water, but his arms and legs were jerking wildly. He bashed them against the ground in frustration, and roared so loudly that it scattered birds overhead.
“You are angry. You must calm down,” Sarah said, handing him some water. Drew angrily gulped it down and threw the waterskin to the ground. Some water spilled out. It was fortunate they were by a river and had an endless supply, otherwise it would have been a wasteful gesture. Sarah hitched up her dress, picked up the waterskin, and re-filled it.
“Calm down? I cannae do that, lass. Nae when I hae been speared through the leg, then tended tae by a beautiful lass only tae find out that English blood runs through her veins! How would ye feel? More than that, I cannae even stand on my own two feet. How am I supposed to help my brother in war when I cannae even get back tae it!”
“War, that is all you Highlanders think of, isn't it? There is more to life than violence. It offends me to think that there are people out there like you who are so consumed with war that you would attack innocent people. There was no need for you to march south. Why not just stay in your own territories and tend to your fields. Be productive people. Did you hear all the screams on the battlefield? Did you see all the young men being slain? It is such a waste of life, but that is all you know. It fills my heart with dread to know that there are such barbaric neighbors so close to us.”
Sarah folded her arms across her chest. Her cheeks reddened with the force of the outburst. She surprised herself with her vehemence, but she felt no desire to coat her words with politeness to this Highlander. Drew listened to her words, and she expected him to fight back with roars and bellows, but to her utmost surprise he threw his head back and let out a deep, throaty laugh.
This only served to anger Sarah even more. She stamped her foot on the ground and glared at him.
“Ye seem tae think ye know a lot about me and my people. Before we go any further, tell me your name,” he said.
Sarah rolled her tongue over her lips. She had become so used to living under Rosemary's name that she almost said it again here, before realizing that she no longer had to live that lie. She was free. She could use her own name again, and when she said it, it was with a great relief.
“Well then, Sarah,” Drew continued, “it seems I hae to give ye a lesson. I am willing tae admit that we hae earned a warrior's reputation, but tae claim that the English are innocent is a jest. The only reason we are here is to seek justice for one of ours, one who was cruelly executed.”
The expression on Sarah's face changed to one of puzzlement. Drew saw this, and seemed to enjoy her changing moods.
“Aye, I see ye did nae know that. I wonder how many of the soldiers know that either. His name was Gall. He was out ranging and hunting. He got a little tae close tae the border when he was captured by your leader, Lord Flynn. Flynn executed him when he had nae reason tae. Gall was just a wee lad with his whole life ahead of him, then he was hanged. What have ye tae say about that? Do ye think we can just let the English hang our people without reply, as though they are hunting for animals?”
Sarah staggered back. Her hand came to her breast and her mouth fell open with shock. She'd always thought of the Highlanders as the monsters, and although she had seen Lord Flynn's cruelty first-hand, she hadn't thought of it in terms of the war before.
Yet now, it all made sense, and she even wondered if all the times Lord Flynn had been going hunting he hadn't actually been hunting for Highlanders rather than for animals.
“What do you know of Lord Flynn?” she asked.
“I know that he is an evil man. Gall had done nothing tae him. This lord is typical of the English, thinking that he can go around doing whatever he wants without consequence.” Drew shook his head. “Ye are all mad.”
“You can say what you like about Lord Flynn, but do not think to imply we are all like him!” Sarah retorted. The thought of anyone thinking that she had anything in common with Lord Flynn was horrid.
“Besides,” she continued, “it is not as though you Highlanders are completely blameless. In the last war you all did terrible things. Perhaps that is the reason for this war. It is time to pay for your crimes,” she said bitterly. The hatred she had been holding onto for years now came pouring out. All the fear and festering rage suddenly spewed forth, exploding out of her like lava from a dormant volcano.
All through the years she had been terrified of coming face to face with a Highlander, and yet in her mind she had always wondered what would happen if she did. Now she had the chance. He was sitting there, wounded, but still dangerous. And yet it was not at all like she had imagined. Drew wasn't some raging maniac, fueled only by violence. In fact he seemed like a somewhat reasonable man, as reasonable as a barbarian could be anyway.
“Ye dinnae want me tae think all ye English are the same as Flynn, but ye would believe that all Highlanders are mindless brutes? And tae compare this with the last war? Hae ye lost your mind, lass? I was barely knee-high in the last war, and ye must hae been similar. I was barely even born. The war was coming tae a close. There were only some skirmishes, some raiding parties left. As far as I was concerned the war was over before I was born. It was the same for all of us.”
“Not for me,” Sarah said. “It might have ended for you, but it didn’t for me. Your raiding parties were still pillaging villages. They came to my home and ransacked the place. I was one of the few survivors. They...they killed my parents. Right in front of my eyes. I was just a babe. So don't you tell me that Highlanders are innocent.”
Drew exhaled deeply. Revealing the truth had cost Sarah a lot of energy. She felt vulnerable, alone. Her throat ached from the force with which she had expelled her words, and the emotion behind them had left her mind dazed and tired. The day had taken its toll on her and she was about ready to drop.
“I think ye should sit down, lass. I am sorry for what happened tae you when ye were younger, but it does nae mean that we are all the same,” Drew said. There was empathy in his voice, and Sarah found herself sitting down beside him.
“War is a terrible time. It takes its toll on people who are not on the battlefield. I know it weighed heavily on my father's soul. He wanted peace tae reign for a long time, and he often spoke of how haunted he was by war. He wanted us tae be good sons, and did nae want us tae die. I think he always knew the horrors of war even when he was a soldier. He waited until the last days of the war before he started to have a family. He did nae want to see his sons die in battle.”
“Does it not make you feel guilty that you have found yourself in a war?” Sarah asked.
Drew pressed his lips together and hung his head. Sarah found herself intrigued by this man. He seemed to be a man filled with conflicts, and was not at all what she had expected from a Highlander.
“I am. But war is a part of life. It cannae be avoided. We may not like it, but we had tae avenge Gall's death. It is nae an easy thing, but it must be done. I...I do wish things could be different. My brother was more eager for war than I, but the English deserve what they are getting.”
“No, Lord Flynn deserves that. Not those men on the battlefield.”
Drew ruminated on her words. Sarah toyed with her fingers, wondering what she should do next. Now that they had begun speaking she didn't find Drew as scary as before, although she was still keeping her distance. The thought of being around him was not unappealing, but she could not help but think about what would happen after. They were at war, and soon they would have to return to their roles as a Highland warrior and an English prisoner. Sarah would have to leave.
The shadows were becoming long as the sun began to dip below the horizon. The moon took its celestial throne and the stars emerged from the sky. Sarah brushed off her dress and rose to her feet.
“I must be leaving now. I know you wish to have me as your prisoner, but I cannot allow that fate. I have to escape. I will leave you with your water and your horse. Rest, and you should recover.”
“Are ye mad, lass? Ye cannae leave now.”
“Why not?”
“Because it's dark! The woods are a treacherous place even in the daylight. Ye dinnae know what lurks in the darkness. Stay here with me, at least for the night. Ye will likely die if ye leave now.”
Sarah peered into the darkness and had to admit that she was frightened by the prospect of walking through the woods alone at night. Her mind was alive with thoughts of all the terrible beasts that would be lying in wait for an unsuspecting maiden such as her, and she shrank back.
“Perhaps you are right, but I shall be leaving first thing in the morning.”
“And where is it ye are wanting tae go?” Drew asked. The question took Sarah by surprise, for she hadn't even figured that out herself yet.
“Ye see, lass, it strikes me as odd that ye would be running away through these woods when there is a huge English army over yonder. Why would ye be running?”
He looked at her through narrowed eyes, his piercing gaze seemingly directed straight into her soul. Sarah shifted at the thought of having to tell him her story. She turned away from him and clenched her jaw, wondering how she was going to get through the night being so close to a Highlander.
“Come on, lass, it will be a long night and we have tae pass the time somehow. Would ye really have us sit in silence? This is nae where either of us would choose tae be, but it is where we hae ended up. Let us make the best of the situation. At least we may be able to learn something from each other.”
Sarah didn't think there was anything she could learn from this man, but he was right when he said that it was going to be a long night otherwise. Although Sarah was tired she was restless and did not feel safe going to sleep before Drew.
“I was supposed to marry someone I did not want to marry,” she said, not wanting to tell him the whole truth. If Drew found out that she had been betrothed to the leader of the English army her use as a prisoner would rise dramatically, and he would do all he could to keep her close to him so that he could ransom her off to Lord Flynn.
“Ye must have despised the thought of being with him if ye would run off intae these woods without any idea of where ye are going,” he said.
The silver light of the moon hung over the world, and in the shadows Drew’s facial expressions became harder to discern. Yet Sarah found that she could tell a lot from the man's voice. He had a very expressive tone, and his words had the energy of a song.
“It seemed like the only way out I had,” she said simply. “He was a cruel man, and I could not abide the thought of spending my life with him.” That was all she wanted to say on the matter. She looked back towards the battle. “I suppose they have stopped fighting for the night.”
“Aye, that they have. My heart is with them, but my body should be there tae.”
“Why do you court war so eagerly?” she asked, trying to understand the mind of a man who met war readily, without hesitation.
“It is nae a matter of courting war. War is just a part of life. It is like breathing or eating. We all grow up knowing that one day there will be war again, whether it be with the English or with other clans.”
“But how can you live like that? Doesn't it make everything seem pointless, knowing that one day it could all be done away with in a terrible battle?”
Drew shifted his position. She wondered how he was doing for comfort. He was bearing the pain well, much better than she would have been able to if the roles had been reversed.
“It reminds us that life is worth living. It reminds us tae appreciate the calm times. It is like enjoying the summer even though ye are aware that winter is soon going tae follow. That is the best way I can put it. Some men like testing themselves, like my brother. I only want to see justice done. I would nae fight unless I had a cause. I am nae like my brother in that regard.”
“You speak of him fondly. Are the two of you close?”
“Aye, sometimes tae close. We often argue, but when it matters most we come down on the right side of things. Riding into battle by his side was the proudest I have ever been.”
“I wish I could feel something like that. I was an only child. There was a girl I thought of as my sister. She is probably dead now too,” Sarah murmured. She did not dare ask Drew about Rosemary for she was afraid of the answer. It was unlikely that he would know anyway.
Rosemary had probably wandered away in the woods and been killed by now, or was being held somewhere far away. Perhaps, when all this was done, she could even get Drew's help in looking for her. But she didn't trust him enough for that yet.
“It is a sad thing tae see people we love die. All we can dae is remember them and honor them, and try tae make them proud.”
Was that a tear that glistened in the moonlight? Sarah would never have thought this man capable of showing such emotion, but there it was, plain as day.
She lay on the ground, thinking about Drew and all he had revealed to her. He was a most uncommon man, but he was a Highlander. She should have been afraid. She should have felt anger rise within her breast, yet she felt entirely comfortable talking with him. It was the most comfortable she had felt in what seemed like a long time.
Before too long she felt her eyelids growing heavy. She tried to fight it, telling herself that she shouldn't fall asleep and make herself vulnerable in front of Drew, but she was unable to fend away the exhaustion that seized her body and dragged her to a state of unconsciousness.