Reese
I parked my Honda CR-V three rows back from the nearest car at the hospital, not for the fear that someone would ding my doors, but because there was a big oak tree at the edge of the lot there, and it was one of the only parking spaces in the shade. If this Alabama heat had taught me anything, it was that shade trumps proximity every time. The black leather interior was great, except it could reach temperatures more suitable for baking a cake when left in the sun. I’d almost burned the backs of my thighs right off on my first day in Rodner. Lesson learned. Now, I parked in the shade or covered my seat with a beach towel when I left.
Since it was new, the interior of my car was still spotless inside. My parents wouldn’t dare let me go off to college in anything but the most affordable vehicle on the list of the Safest Small SUVs, according to God knows who. Emphasis on safest. If cancer hadn’t killed me, they sure as hell weren’t going to lose me to a car accident. Their words, not mine. They loved me. And they preferred to show that love via smothering. And hovering. And micromanaging.
In fact, the only way I’d managed to convince them to let me attend Rodner University, the school I settled on both because it had a fantastic drumline and it was geographically the farthest from home, was by threatening to not go to college at all if they refused. And that, to my upper middle-class professional parents, was a fate worse than death by helicopter-parenting.
I scooped the handful of grape lollipops on my passenger seat into my small canvas purse. My morning had been unexpectedly busy. After an early thunderstorm washed out today’s band camp, I’d started the day by cleaning Marco’s dorm room per drumline requirements, then afterward, I’d met Smith for lunch at a small local taco joint. The lollipops were a gift from him.
“Why so many?” I’d questioned, when he dumped five or six in my outstretched palms.
“I was in the bathroom the other day. Ended up at the urinal next to Laird’s. Snuck a peek. Decided you probably needed some more practice sucking before things progressed any more between you two. And since I’m such a good sidekick, I brought some extras to help you out.” He’d nudged me with his elbow. “You’re welcome, Batman.”
“Progressed?” I’d stumbled over the word, my mind still lost in the visual of Laird’s large shaft stretching my lips wide. “What do you mean?”
He’d leveled an exasperated stare at me. “You mean that wasn’t his Wrangler I saw parked in front of your dorm all night long?”
I’d mumbled something about Wranglers being so common, they were fucking everywhere, damn it, like the mosquitoes. I’d hightailed it out of there as quick as I could, my hands full of candy, his laughter following me.
And now I was at the hospital on a whim, desperate to keep myself occupied. The alternative being sitting on my ass in my dorm room with way too much time to think about the fact that I woke up alone this morning, with no note or text from Laird since.
Except for the one he sent to the drumline on behalf of the band director, canceling practice.
And, I told myself for the billionth time, I didn’t need to talk to him. There was nothing to discuss, right? We’d… cuddled. Cuddling didn’t have to mean something. I mean, okay, I’d seen his junk too. In all its massive glory. But so had Smith apparently, so I wasn’t in an exclusive club or anything.
We were cool. No, wait, not we. There was no we.
I didn’t think.
Well, obviously not, because if there was a we, then surely he would’ve stuck around until daybreak, when my alarm alerted me to my utter aloneness.
By the time I reached Eli’s room, I’d shoved Laird and his big wiener to the far corner of my mind, in a box I’d mentally duct-taped shut.
Knocking lightly in case he was sleeping, I pushed open the door and peeked inside. “Eli?”
“Reese! You came back! Did you bring the tattoos?” Eli shoved his thick glasses up his nose and practically vibrated with excitement.
Sitting on the hard, plastic sofa next to the bed was a thin lady with equally thick glasses who had the same eyes as Eli. There was no doubt from the resemblance this was anyone other than his mom. Plus, she eyed me warily, with the look every mom of every pediatric cancer patient watched someone new approaching their child. “They’re temporary, I promise, Mrs. Wagner,” I reassured her and introduced myself.
“Mo-o-o-o-om,” Eli begged. “It’s okay, isn’t it?”
She smiled indulgently at him once she realized I wasn’t here to poke and prod. “Of course, darling. I bet Amelia will love them.” Eli blushed and mumbled something under his breath. Rising from the sofa, she squeezed my arm on her way out. “I was wanting some coffee anyway. I’ll leave you two to visit. And, Reese, call me Melissa. Mrs. Wagner is my mother-in-law.” As she reached the door, she turned around, mouthed thank you, and pointed at Eli.
After she left, we got to work on his arms and didn’t stop until he had a full sleeve on his right side and a half sleeve on his left. The joy on his face when he saw himself in the bathroom mirror warmed me inside. He wrinkled his brows, narrowed his eyes, and stuck his lips out a little, trying on a tough guy persona. I gave him one of the grape lollipops, and the white stick angled from the corner of his mouth like a fat toothpick, then I took a quick picture on my phone to text his mom later.
“I have a few more suckers,” I mentioned casually. “Does Amelia like grape?”
“Only one way to find out!” His confidence was adorable. The sleeves of his gown were rolled up to better show off his badassery, and with candy in hand, we strolled down the hall, IV pole in tow.
Three doors to the right, he rapped on the door twice before sauntering in with so much attitude and swagger, he even gave Marco a run for his money. I bit my lip to hide my smile and hung back in the doorway, happy to let Eli do his thing.
“Amelia, you know what makes chemo like a million times better?”
A waif-thin girl with huge pale green eyes and a port connected to an IV pump just like Eli’s gave him a blinding smile. “What?”
“A view like this.” He struck a pose, flexing his biceps like a bodybuilder. She cracked up so hard she got short of breath and had to take a couple of deep pulls from the oxygen in her nasal cannula. “And this.” Eli performed an elaborate bow, presenting her with a lollipop like it was a rose.
Amelia accepted it gratefully, hugging it to her chest before tearing off the wrapper and sticking it in her mouth. Chemo wrecked your taste buds, and some had the worst metallic aftertaste. It was one of the weird facts you didn’t learn until you went through it—that chemicals pumped through a tube almost straight into your heart had a taste. A little candy could be a life saver sometimes, if the nausea wasn’t too bad. The perfect sugary distraction.
“My hero,” she said around the stick. “And I like the ink.”
“I know. I’m pretty hardcore these days.”
I stifled my giggle.
“And that’s not all,” he continued. “If you’re not too tired, I have UNO cards in my room. Want to play a few rounds?”
Her eyes shone. “I love UNO.”
“I know.” His voice was shy this time. “I asked my mom to bring a deck so we could hang out.”
An hour and five rounds later, with Amelia the decided champ with three wins compared to my and Eli’s single win each, she was running out of steam and Eli was squirming enough that I suspected he needed to pee but didn’t want to miss a moment of time with her.
“Miss Amelia, it was a pleasure to meet you, but I need Eli to escort me back to his room now.” I leaned close and finished in a stage whisper, “Those tattoos of his scare all the bad guys away. He’s my bodyguard.”
Eli puffed out his chest as he gathered up the cards, and neither kid argued with me putting an end to things.
“Tomorrow,” he told her, “I demand a rematch. I was trying to be all gallant and stuff today and let you win because you’re a girl, but a man can only take so much. I won’t take it easy on you next time.”
She nodded solemnly. “I would expect no less.”
When we got back to his room, he wrapped his arms around my waist and squeezed surprisingly tight. “Thank you,” he whispered. “That was awesome.”
“You were awesome.” I fought back the sting of tears behind my eyes as I tucked him back in bed after he used the restroom. He was beyond ready for a nap.
Nothing compared to the way I felt when I left the hospital after hanging out with the kids there. And yes, I called them kids, not patients. Too many people there saw them as a disease first and a person second. I refused to even think of them in those terms. They were just kids caught in shitty circumstances.
As I walked down the hospital corridor, I pulled my phone out. I’d had it on silent during my visit.
Nothing from Laird. I guess our little sleepover didn’t mean as much as he said it did. Nothing except three texts from my mom, asking what I’d eaten for lunch, if I’d remembered to take my multi-vitamin, and if I needed her to order more sunscreen via Amazon for me.
I ignored all three.
And when I turned the corner and Laird was only six feet away, heading in the direction I’d just left, I treated him the same way he’d treated me all day. I ignored him too.