Laird
Reese was quiet.
She was quiet while I started the shower.
While I lathered her hair, soaped her perfect curves, and rinsed the suds down the drain.
While I scrubbed myself quickly, keeping her under the warm spray, being careful not to bump the kaleidoscope of bruises on her wrist.
But when she went to twist the knob to turn the water off, I stopped her, snagging her hand and turning her to face me.
“Talk to me. Did I hurt you? Was I too rough earlier?”
She blinked in surprise, tiny beads of water clinging to her lashes. “No. Not in the bed.”
But the way she qualified her answer gave me pause.
“Before? About Garrett?”
I leaned back against the tile wall, and caught her waist, tugging her forward to stand between my legs. Despite the reservation in her words, she wasn’t pulling away, and I couldn’t seem to stop myself from taking every opportunity to touch her in some way. To feel the silk of her skin against me.
My thumbs rubbed soothing patterns over the soft points of her hips.
She nodded, that little furrow appearing between her brows. “It wasn’t just that you hadn’t told me. It’s that everyone else already knew that day. I felt humiliated when Marco mocked me, and you just ran off and left me to fend for myself.” Reese crossed her arms over her chest, forcing some unwanted distance between us. “And then, when you didn’t want to talk afterward…” She trailed off and dipped her chin.
“Then?” I prompted, bending my knees to catch her eyes.
She shrugged one shoulder. “It just felt like you didn’t care. Like I wasn’t a priority.”
Her words hit like buckshot, the impact sharp and widespread, leaving me reeling.
“Reese, no.” I shook my head to deny her words, my fingers digging into her skin. “Never.”
Her gaze flitted between my eyes, and I pleaded with her silently to believe me, to trust me even though I’d let her down. Long moments passed, and then she bit her lip, giving me a slight nod.
Loosening her protective stance, she traced the inked G on my chest with a featherlight touch, and sighed wistfully. “I wish I could’ve met him.”
“I do, too.” A lump formed in my throat, making it hard to swallow. “He would’ve liked you. The two of you would’ve ganged up on me.”
She gave me a sad smile. “Yeah?”
I nodded, drawing her closer, needing to feel her solidness against me if we were going to talk about him like this. Squeezing my eyes closed, I rested my forehead on hers. “I could take you to his grave.” I waited for the familiar wave of anguish that hit whenever I said that word—grave. “If you want? I think… I think I’d like that. No one’s ever gone with me before.”
“No one?” Her voice sharpened with disbelief.
“Not since the funeral.”
A sound of disapproval hummed from her throat, then she slid her arms around my waist, and for a long moment, we just held each other. “I’d be honored.”
The hot water sprayed against our legs, and steam billowed around us. It’d be easy to pretend the rest of the world didn’t exist outside the foggy bathroom, to stay in here forever.
“I have to ask you—it’s been making me crazy. Did you know? Have you been lying to me about the scholarship too?” Her words were hesitant, unsure.
“What scholarship?” I tilted my head.
“The one for your brother. The Garrett Bronson scholarship.”
I paused, trying to understand her question. “What about it?”
She tapped her fingertips on my lower back, but I’m not even sure she realized she was doing it.
“I’m this year’s winner.”
“You are?” My brows shot up.
“You didn’t know? Really?” Her beautiful brown eyes narrowed up at me. “Your brother’s name is on the award and you didn’t know?”
“No. I mean, you’re right, it is his name, but…” I trailed off for a minute, trying to wrap my head around this other new connection between us. “The money is withdrawn from my account automatically. I used to pick the winners, read all the essays and pore over the applications, but it just got too hard after a while, hearing about these people who’d done all the things that Garrett would never get a chance to do.” The back of my eyes burned, and I blinked furiously. “So now some official for the school chooses instead.”
Reese pressed her lips to my tattoo, the heat from her mouth hotter than the steam around us. “I thought maybe you’d been lying to me about that this whole time too. I didn’t make the connection until I went home this weekend and saw the paperwork again.”
“I’m sorry I hurt you. And I’m not saying it won’t happen again, because, fuck knows, everything good in my life seems to disappear, but I promise I won’t lie to you. And I promise to always answer any questions you have. Past, present, future—anything you want to know, just ask.”
I dipped my head and ran my nose up the side of her neck, nuzzling into her, wanting no wasted space between us.
“I know I fucked up. I didn’t realize it at the time, because I was too caught up in my own shit, but I let you down, and that’s not okay.” I tasted the sensitive spot beneath her ear, felt her shudder in my embrace. “Reese, you make me want to be a better fucking man. Someone you’d be proud to hold hands with in public, to let the world know I was yours.”
It stung that she didn’t see me that way. Not yet. But I’d fucking earn it if she’d let me.
“Laird…” My stupid heart tripped over itself when I heard my name. I was so lost to this girl, and I couldn’t come up with a single good reason for keeping it inside any longer.
At least if we crashed and burned, I’d have given it my all, no regrets.
I thought of Eli, how sometimes we didn’t have time for second chances, and if we were lucky enough to get them, it’d be stupid as fuck to waste the opportunity.
And I wasn’t stupid.
I tipped her chin up, until I knew my face was the only thing she could see. I didn’t want her to miss a single word of my confession, even if it came too late to make a difference. “I love you, Reese Holland. Because you’re feisty and opinionated and so damn strong—the strongest woman I’ve ever met. Because you make me smile every time I see you. Because you challenge me. Because your heart is so big and giving. Because you’re so damn stubborn. Because your courage humbles me.” I ran my finger over her lower lip. “Because I can’t stop fucking thinking about you, and I don’t want to ever stop thinking about you. I want to spend every day finding new ways to make you happy, to have your back while you chase your dreams, and to worship your body the way it deserves. I want to make you proud of me, to be worthy of standing by your side.”
I don’t think I’d said those words—I love you—since Garrett had died.
I trembled when her hands skimmed up my back until they were locked behind my neck. I’d never felt more raw or vulnerable than I did in that moment, waiting for her response.
“I love you too, Laird.”
Her voice was thick and shaky, and I crushed her to me, until no drops of water could fit between us, scared I didn’t hear her right, that my mind was playing tricks on me.
“Say it again,” I demanded, my lips right at her ear. “I need to hear it again.”
“I love you, Laird.”
I hoisted her into my arms, spinning her so her back was against the shower wall, and peppered her with kisses. Her cheek, her jaw, her throat, her delicate collarbone. I wanted to press my lips to every inch of her skin.
“Again.”
“I love you. And I’m not good at this either. Everyone in my life has always looked at me like I was broken, or fragile, or needed protection. I’m not used to asking for help. I’m used fighting for the right to carve my own path. That’s why I didn’t tell you about Marco. I didn’t mean to push you away. I… I’ve never had a guy who wanted to help raise me up before. Who wanted to see me reach new heights, instead of stand in his shadow. I’ve never met a guy like you before, who knows what I need before I can even say it. Who’s taught me new things about myself, and inspired me to dream bigger and brighter. And fuck my stupid ideas about no one knowing about us. Life’s too short to worry about other people’s opinions. I think we know that more than anyone.”
We did.
I turned the shower off, and grabbed a pair of towels for us. Being careful of her arm, I dried her off, wishing it was as easy to wipe away the pain of the last two weeks.
I found my softest t-shirt and tugged it over her head, her face clean and smooth as she smiled up at me. The furrow between her brows was gone, and so was the wariness that had been in her eyes when she first showed up.
Progress. I’d take it.
But then her stomach growled, and I winced. “I’m already failing at this boyfriend stuff. Are you hungry? I never asked you. And I know I skipped dinner.”
She licked her lips, and her brown eyes sparkled as she pulled the towel from around my waist.
“Later. Some things are more important than food.”
And then she dropped to her knees.