Remy
I’m half-asleep when I realize the house phone is ringing. When I look to my right, I see Kenzie is sound asleep beside me. It is a little after three o’clock in the morning. I take a deep breath before answering the phone, because at this time of the morning it can only mean one thing. I quickly answer it. “Hello?”
“This is East Bay Hospital calling. Is McKenzie McCormick available?”
“One minute.” I rub the sleep from my eyes.
“Kenzie.” I shake her awake. She jumps up alert, with fear in her eyes.
“It’s the hospital, sweet pea,” I say with a sympathetic look, handing her the phone. I can see she’s now visibly shaking as panic takes over.
“Hello?” Her voice is tired and shaky.
“Ms. McCormick, this is Nurse Sandy. I’m really sorry to tell you this, but I need you to get to the hospital. Your grandmother is not doing well, and we fear she won’t be with us much longer.”
“I’m on my way.” She hands me the phone and jumps out of bed without saying a word to me. She’s digging in drawers grabbing clothes.
“What is it?” I ask her, jumping out of bed to grab clothes of my own.
“Nana isn’t doing well. They fear we’re going to lose her soon.” Her tears begin to fall as she stumbles around the room.
It takes us no more than ten minutes to get what we need and run out the door. I jump in the driver’s seat of my Audi and start the car. Kenzie is visibly shaking, and her teeth are chattering, so I adjust the temperature and take off. I’m happy to see the roads are clear, due to the time of night. I feel helpless, but I begin rubbing her leg trying to show her some form of comfort as we hope for the best. We make it to the hospital in about fifteen minutes. We both jump out of the car, leaving it with the valet, and run through the hospital straight to her nana’s room. Kenzie slows just outside the door, taking a deep breath, then says, “Let’s go,” and she slowly walks into the room. Her aunt and uncle are already standing by her bed as her nana struggles to breathe.
Kenzie runs straight over to her grandmother’s side. “Oh, Nana, I’m here. We’re all here, Nana.” Tears stream down her face, and it breaks me. I take my place at her side wrapping an arm around her, trying to comfort her in her time of need. I can see from the pained look on her face she wants to say more, but she’s afraid. Kenzie and her aunt look at one another, like they know what one other’s thinking. The both give a small nod and look back down to Nana.
Kenzie takes a deep breath and through her sobs she says, “It’s okay, Nana. We know you’re suffering. You can go now and be at peace. I have Remy to take care of me, and Aunt Kenderly has Uncle Jasper.” She tries to wipe away her tears.
“We don’t want you to suffer any more, Mom,” her aunt says through her tears, slowly rubbing her fingers through her hair. Jasper is by her side trying to comfort her as she sobs.
Both Kenzie and Kenderly try to comfort her and tell her it’s okay if she wants to give up. Kenzie is holding her hand, telling her how lucky she is to have found me. Reminding her that it’ll be okay, but suddenly Kenzie gasps as a realization hits her.
“What is it?” I ask her.
“She’s waiting for Mom.” Kenzie sobs harder and repeats, “She’s waiting for Mom.” She leans over the bed and tells her grandmother, “Mom, it’s me, Joanne. I know you’ve been holding on for me to get here. It’s okay. I’m here with you. You can go now.” She kisses her on the temple and adds, “We’re all here for you.”
Her grandmother’s body starts to relax. She takes a few more breaths, then a small hiccup escapes her. Her body goes limp, and the heart monitor starts to flat line, telling us she’s gone. Everyone begins to cry even harder, including me. I not only shed tears for the love of my life who is now suffering this loss, but for a woman I was lucky enough to know. I didn’t get much time with her, but in the short time I was with her, she was a sweet and caring woman. She reminded me a lot of my nana, and I will miss them both dearly.
Kenzie turns into my arms and sobs into my chest for this amazing woman she cared so deeply for, and I feel horrible that in this moment all I can do is rub her back and hold her close. I wish I could erase her pain. I slowly rock her toward the chair behind me, because I know the doctors will be in any minute. They have documents they need to take care of, and they can only give her so much time with her grandmother.
I feel a set of eyes on us and when I look up, it’s to see my father standing in the doorway with a clipboard in his hand. He’s giving them as much space as he can, but still writing what he needs to in her file. He gives them another minute, and then he comes in to pay his respects to Kenzie and her family. “If there’s anything my wife or I can do, please do not hesitate to ask,” he tells Kenzie, as well as her aunt and uncle. He asks them if they would like more time.
Kenzie says, “I just want to say goodbye one last time.” As I hold her, she takes the few short steps to the bed and says, “I love you so much, Nana. Thank you for all you have done for me. I will never forget you.” She kisses her on the head and slowly walks away, giving her aunt the space to do the same. Once they have both said their final goodbyes, we tell him we’re all set and we leave the room. Kenderly signs a few things on the way out, and invites us to her house for coffee and to start working on all the arrangements.
When we arrive, both women are moving around the kitchen like a well-trained team. Neither will allow Jasper or I to help. They’re making coffee and pulling muffins and breakfast Danish from the cupboards to place on the table. Kenzie is grabbing coffee cups, sugar, and creamer while Kenderly grabs the coffee pot, and though they are both moving with efficiency, we can see they are hurting.
Aunt Kenderly and Kenzie take a seat next to one another, with me and Uncle Jasper on either side of them at her aunt’s kitchen table. It’s about five o’clock in the morning, and these two amazing women are making a list of things they need to do for the service. They are running on autopilot, but they are focused and both look determined.
A few hours later, I can see that Kenderly and Kenzie are completely drained. Her aunt already contacted the funeral parlor. We discovered that Nana had already set up an account with them, and had used money from Kenzie’s grandfather’s life insurance to put toward her burial costs. It almost saddens me that her grandmother thought that far ahead, but I guess when you’ve buried your husband, daughter, and son-in-law, it’s hard not to worry about the future. All they have to do is go down and pick out a casket and headstone. We’ve been sitting here working on her obituary in between phone calls. Word of her passing has already gotten out, and people from all around the area have been calling to see if the family needs anything.
I notice Kenzie is in a daze as her aunt reads the obituary one last time. “Can I get you anything, sweet pea?” I ask her, feeling a bit helpless.
Her brows furrow, and she shakes her head. “No, I’m just tired,” she says, taking a deep breath and rocking her upper body back and forth.
She can only seem to focus for short periods of time. As her focus shifts, she goes from looking at her aunt and listening, to staring right past her and thinking about god knows what.
“Well that’s done, thank the Lord.” Her aunt pulls the final version of the obituary from the notebook to hand over to the funeral parlor. I want to get Kenzie home but we need to clean up first, because Kenderly doesn’t need to be left with a mess. Taking the empty coffee pot over to the sink, I wash it and then put it back on the brewer, while Jasper helps put the leftover food away. Neither of our women ate much more than a few bites of a muffin, but at this point I guess it’s better than nothing.
When everything is clean, I kneel down in front of Kenzie. “Why don’t we go home and you can rest a bit?” I ask her, hoping she’ll listen, and she does.
She nods in agreement. “Do you need anything else from me?” Kenzie asks her aunt.
“No I’m fine, you go and get some rest and I’ll let you know when the final arrangements are made.”
She thanks her aunt, and we say our goodbyes before heading home so I can hopefully get her to sleep.
When we pull up to the house, Kenzie is walking like she’s about to collapse. Wrapping my arm around her in support, I get her into the house and I take her straight to the bedroom. She collapses onto the bed, looking totally broken and it’s killing me. I kneel before her, peeling off her shoes and putting them into the closet. When I return, she’s changing into a t-shirt of mine that is far too big for her. I smile slightly, hoping it will provide her some comfort as she sleeps. She slips into bed as I peel off my shoes, and climb in next to her. Pulling her close, I spoon her from behind, rubbing her head as tries to relax. A few small hiccups escape her as she tries to calm herself from all of her shed tears, and she slowly drifts off to sleep.
When I’m sure she’s sound asleep, I slip out of bed and head into the kitchen to see what she has that I can make for meals. She isn’t going to want to cook, but I need to make sure she keeps her strength up so she can get through the next few days. We’re waiting on the final service dates, but it looks like we will be having a wake on Thursday and the funeral on Friday.
I’m digging through the freezer when I find ground beef and chicken, so I decide to make some chili and some chicken and rice soup. I know it’s going to be hard to get her to eat, but I’m hoping she’ll eat small cups of soup or chili. I don’t want to go too overboard, because if I know my mama, she’ll be by with food later as well.
A short time later, I have the chili simmering on the stove, and I’m working on the soup when I hear Kenzie make her way into the kitchen. She comes up behind me, pressing her face to my back. “How was your nap?” I ask her, but she says nothing. Grabbing the towel, I dry my hands and turn around to squeeze her tight. “Are you hungry?” She shakes her head. “Sweet pea, you need to eat.”
“I know. I will in a little bit,” she presses her head to my chest. “Is that chili I smell?” she asks.
“It is, and I’m working on chicken and rice soup.”
“Smells good.” She nuzzles me.
“Yeah, well, I didn’t want to make too much because you know my mama.”
She chuckles. “Yeah, she’ll be by shortly with food for an army.”
“That, or she’ll demand we go to their house for dinner.” I lift her chin so she’s looking at me.
“Either way is fine, just please keep me busy,” she pleads.
“I’ll do my best. I love you, Kenzie, and I promise I will help you through this. I have to go into work tomorrow for a brief meeting with my commander, but I have plenty of leave time and I don’t have a new round of troops in until next week, so I’m all yours.”
She gives me another smile, then leans up on her toes to press her lips to mine. “Thank you so much, Remy. I love you.”
“I love you too,” I repeat, making her smile a bit more.