Remy
“Good morning, Captain.” Shelby walks into my room with pep in her step and my breakfast tray. “Here is your breakfast. When you’re done, I’ll be back to take you for your morning walk.”
I give her a full smile and jokingly say, “Well, that’s mighty sweet of you, Nurse Shelby, but I’m pretty sure I can walk all by myself now, you know, like a big boy.”
She chuckles. “That may be so, but hospital rules state you do not get to wander the hospital without a nurse by your side, so, I’m sorry to say, you’re stuck with me.” She walks out with a smile. I laugh, shaking my head, and dig into my breakfast. I get to go home tomorrow, and I couldn’t be more excited. I’ll be home for Christmas Eve. I can’t wait to surprise Kenzie. The entire family knows I’m coming, but I really wanted to do something special to surprise her. I have it all planned out. Mama has invited her over for Christmas Eve dinner with the family. Mama told her to get there at six-thirty. Kenzie told Mama she would be there, but she had to go to Nana’s first to spend some time with her before heading over. I smile at my plan as I shovel food into my mouth. I swear this place is starving me.
“Good morning, Captain Bennett. How are you today?” Dr. Callahan asks with a smile.
“Awesome, just waiting for you to confirm that I’m going home.”
“You can go home tomorrow. However, you have a follow-up psych appointment here on base. The doctor has a few concerns, but he deemed you safe to go home.”
I show him my smile. “Thank you so much, Doc. I’ve made plans to surprise my girl, and it’d really suck to have to cancel them.”
“I’m sure arriving home on Christmas Eve will make for a nice surprise. I’m going to go prepare your paperwork. Your family can pick you up after breakfast. The nurse will meet with you in the morning to go over your discharge papers.”
“Thank you again, Doc.” I stick my hand out to him.
“Thank you for your service. I hope you have a great holiday.” He shakes my hand and walks out of the room.
Nurse Shelby comes in. “Are you ready for your walk?”
“Yes please, get me out of this bed.”
She laughs. “I heard the doctor giving you some good news. I’ll have all your discharge papers ready to go in the morning, with instructions for you to follow at home. You’ll also need to have at least one more follow-up appointment with your primary care manager.”
“Thanks,” I smile as she takes my arm to help me from the bed. I really don’t need her help, as I can stand and walk all by myself. As a matter of fact, I’ve been sneaking out of bed at night and walking around my room so I can stretch my legs. My ass is sore from being in bed so long. As we walk the floor, the various nurses on duty wave and say hello, as they do each time we walk. Everyone is so friendly here, and they truly take good care of their patients. I just pray to god this is the last time I see this place.
I give them a flirtatious smile. “Good morning, ladies.” They all laugh and tell me to stop fooling around. I’ve told every nurse here about my Kenzie, and how I can’t wait to get home to her. I spent many nights in the desert dreaming about her. I’d be lying if I didn’t say I woke up hard many a night dreaming about her warm mouth and her luscious lips, but I kept that part to myself.
Then there were the nights when I wondered how she handled me leaving without so much as a goodbye. I truly thought about going to the school to see her before I left, and being that Mama works at the same school, I know she could have gotten me into her classroom, but I couldn’t bring myself to do that to her. It would have crushed her at work and in front of her co-workers and possibly her class, so as much as it killed me, I left her with flowers and a note.
“Captain Bennett, are you okay?”
I shake off my thoughts of Kenzie. “Oh yeah, I’m sorry. I’m fine. I was thinking about Kenzie. What did you ask?”
“Do you want to do another loop?”
“Yes please, and when we get back can I shower? It’s warm in my room. I woke a bit sweaty.” I don’t tell her I woke sweating from the nightmares I’m having.
“Of course, I’ll wait in the room in case you need any help, but I’ve already shown you how to care for what’s left of your wound, so you should be fine.”
I smile down at her. “It healed rather quickly.”
“The surgeons did a good job of fixing you up before you got here,” she says with pride.
“Thank God,” I tell her with a wink.
She laughs at my wink. “You’re too much, Captain.” She shakes her head. “That Kenzie is one lucky girl.”
“Why, thank you.” I puff out my chest. She cracks up laughing.
“All right, we’re back at your room. Go get yourself in the shower, so you don’t smell for your lady tomorrow.” Like I won’t shower when I get home. I should have just enough time, if we don’t hit traffic.
***
Kenzie
My eyes flutter open, and I smile. I’ve once again managed to wake up to dreams of Remy being by my side, his fingers gently rubbing circles on my skin as I sleep. I dream that I wake to him smiling down at me just before he presses his full, warm lips to mine. This time, I wake before my dreams take me too far. Thank God for B.O.B., because I’ve had to use him a few times during Remy’s time away, thanks to the dreams I’ve been having.
Mrs. Bennett has told me he should be shipped home any day now, which is really exciting but we’re all disappointed he won’t be here for Christmas. I was so hopeful he would be around. I even went with Lilly and Keaton to pick up a tree, and did some decorating. Keaton was so sweet. He offered his truck, and when we got the tree back, he helped me move some things around so we could set it up, but today is Christmas Eve. Mrs. Bennett hasn’t gotten the okay for Remy to come home.
I slip out of bed, put on my slippers, and my robe, and go to the kitchen for some breakfast and coffee. I’m going to Nana’s for lunch today, and then Aunt Kenderly and Uncle Jasper are having Christmas Eve dinner with her, since I’ve been invited over to the Bennetts’ for dinner. I have zero plans for Christmas, because Nana is going to Aunt Kenderly and Uncle Jasper’s house. I told them I would probably swing by, but I may be depressed and don’t want to ruin their day. I go about making myself some eggs, and although I woke with a smile, I find myself to be a bit sluggish moving about the kitchen. I wish Remy was here for Christmas. I shake off my thoughts. I can’t let this ruin my holiday. I’m celebrating with some great people. It’s going to be fine.
Once I’ve eaten, I shower and get dressed before gathering Nana’s Christmas gifts to place in the car. I run back to the house, lock up, and head to Nana’s. When I pull up, her porch is empty. She says it’s too cold to sit on her swing and the thought makes me sad. It really isn’t that cold out, but Nana is getting so frail she can’t handle it. I run up the steps, excited to put her gifts under the little tree Aunt Kenderly set up in the window for her. Nana has a huge, gorgeous bay window that my aunt decorated so she would have some signs of Christmas in the house. When I walk through the door, I find Nana sitting in her chair, staring out the window. I place the gifts down and wander over slowly.
“Nana, are you okay?”
“I miss him, Joanne.”
“Who do you miss?” I question.
“Your father, he was supposed to be home this Christmas. He promised.” Tears are forming in my eyes as I listen to her monotone voice. She is sad, and I can see her eyes welling as well.
“What happened? How come he’s not coming home?”
She shrugs. “They told him his leave had been revoked and no one is to leave base. I’m sorry, Joanne. I know you were looking forward to seeing your daddy, but he won’t be here.”
My heart is breaking. I watch a lone tear run down her face. Is this how my life will be with Remy? Will I be spending Christmas alone with our children, saddened by the fact he’s not here? I start to internally panic. I need to ask him these things when we sit down to talk.
“I love your father so much, Joanne, and although I’m sad he’s not with us, you have to know I support him and his career, because I love him. I’m just sorry he’s not here for you.”
“Oh no worries, we’ll have the best Christmas, just the two of us.” I wrap her in a hug, and she sobs into my shirt. I can no longer fight back my tears. I hold her, and the two of us cry for the men we wish were by our side.
I break away, pressing my forehead to hers. “No matter what, I love you and we will always make the best of things together.” She nods and presses her lips to my cheek. I stand, grabbing us each a tissue so we can dab away our tears. Emily clears her throat, making me aware of her presence.
I told Emily she didn’t need to be here for a full day today. She came early to get Nana up and feed her breakfast so I wouldn’t have to be here early. “Is she okay?” Emily questions.
“She realizes it’s Christmas, but she’s flashing back to when my grandfather was away for the holiday.” I sigh as I watch my nana stare at the window with a faint smile on her face, as if she’s remembering a happier memory.
“I’m sorry,” Emily says. “Sometimes that’s the worst part of the disease. They remember the toughest of times, and to be honest, I think it’s awful that they can’t remember who we are or what we mean to them, but they remember things from long ago that break their heart. I see it all the time, bless her heart,” she says as we both continue to watch her.
“Nana, why don’t I take you to get dressed?” Emily asks, trying to pull her from her sad thoughts. I smile at Emily’s caring smile. She’s been referring to my grandmother as Nana for a while now, and I think Nana likes it.
She smiles back at her. “Yes, dear. I want to get out of this gown and into some warm pants. I’m very cold.”
“All right, come on, I’ll help you.” Emily helps her from her chair and Nana wraps her arms around her. They stroll off to Nana’s room. I take this time to call Aunt Kenderly and update her on Nana’s mood today and what happened this morning.
I’m in the kitchen making us lunch. We’ve spent part of the morning watching old Christmas movies at Nana’s request, and after lunch I promised her a game of Go Fish. I told her that Aunt Kenderly will be here soon, and unfortunately I had to remind her that Kenderly is her daughter. I place two tuna sandwiches down on the table with some milk before I get Nana up from her chair in the living room. When she takes her seat at the table she asks, “What’s happening to me?”
I smile at her. “How do you mean, Nana?”
She stares down at her plate and I can tell she’s trying to think of what to say, so I decide to help her out. “Nana, you’re starting to forget things is all, but you have to realize it comes with the territory. You’re eighty-seven years old.”
“I’m that old?” she questions with a bit of a smile.
I nod at her. “Yes, ma’am, you are, and bless your heart, you’ve lived a long, happy life. You were married to a wonderful man. He gave you two fabulous children, three grandchildren, and three great-grandchildren.” I give her a big smile and say, “You may not remember it all right now, but you have lived a full, wonderful life.”
We sit at the table eating our lunch and talking about wonderful memories I have of visiting with her when I was a child. All the times she comforted me when my father went away, and I thank her for being so strong for me when my mother passed on, even though she had outlived her daughter. A tear runs down my cheek. “I should have been strong for you, Nana, and I’m sorry I wasn’t.”
“You dear child, you were too young.”
My face lights up. “You remember?” I question.
“Unfortunately for right now, I do. You were so lost and lonely. I had to keep reminding you that you still had family around that loved and cared for you.”
“You have always been so good to me and that’s why I had to come home. I missed you so much and wanted to spend as much time as I could with you.” She smiles at me and that’s when I can see she’s lost in thought again. She’s staring passed me out the window. I decide to leave her to her thoughts, and clean up from lunch.
“Hello?” Aunt Kenderly calls out.
“In the kitchen,” I tell her.
She kisses Nana, and then hugs and kisses me on the cheek. “How is she?”
“She’s better now than this morning. She was just remembering a few things, but from the look on her face I think she’s back in the past.” I place the tuna in the fridge and call to Nana. “Nana, do you still want to play cards?”
“I think I want to rest a bit first,” she says, trying to stand from the table by herself.
“Let me help you.” Aunt Kenderly takes her arm and helps her into the other room. When she comes back in, I tell her about our conversation over lunch. My aunt smiles at me. “She doesn’t know it because I was afraid she wouldn’t remember them, but the kids are coming home for Christmas so she can visit with her great grandkids.” Tears stream down her face. “I fear this is the last Christmas they will have with her.” Now I’m crying.
“I wasn’t going to stop by tomorrow because I was afraid I’d be depressed Remy didn’t make it home for Christmas, and I didn’t want to ruin the day for you with your family, but I will now. I want to see everyone and be there to help you with Nana.”
“We would all really like that. You stop in anytime.”
We continue talking for a bit about Nana and things we have to watch out for, and then we decide to get her to play that game of cards. It takes us thirty minutes to play one game, because we have to keep reminding her of what we’re playing and how to play, but she’s smiling and laughing as we sit and joke around. We finally finish the game, Nana has won, and she’s truly excited.
“Nana, I have to get going soon, but I would like for you to open your Christmas gifts before I go.”
“You silly girl, you didn’t need to bring me Christmas gifts,” she says with a wave. I hand her the first gift, and she tears at the paper, finding a warm long gown in the box. She’s always saying how cold she is. Well, this is something that’ll keep her warm. I ordered it online special for her.
She smiles up at me. “Thank you.”
“You’re very welcome. No more being cold now.”
She winks at me.
I hand her the next one, and she again rips through the paper to find a coloring book and some colored pencils. “Something new for you to do while you rest,” I tell her.
She flips through the book and says, “I’ll do this page first.” Aunt Kenderly and I smile at her excitement.
“One more, Nana. This is one I made.” I hand her the final gift, and her jaw drops when she gets it open. She begins flipping through the pages of pictures pointing to people, and as she does, we remind her of who they are. I found some old pictures in a tote I had of mom’s stuff, so I scanned them and turned them into a memory book for her. I put names in it, but the font is small so she can’t read them without her glasses.
“You sweet girl, thank you so much. This is beautiful,” she says with a smile.
“You’re so welcome. I love you, Nana.” I kiss the top of her head. “I have to get going so I can get ready for dinner, but I’ll see you tomorrow.”
I hug my aunt goodbye and head out the door. I go straight home to freshen up and change for tonight’s dinner. I picked a pair of jean capris and a cute red top. I’ve decided to shower, since I threw my hair in a ponytail after this morning’s shower and my hair is now a mess. I go about getting ready, and I’ve just finished putting the finishing touches on my makeup when there’s a knock at the door. I’m slightly nervous. I’m not expecting anyone, and I’m really hoping Daniel is not standing on my porch on Christmas Eve, trying to convince me to see him again.
When I get to the door, I’m shocked. My breathing is deep, and I can’t move. I’m rooted in place. I haven’t even made it all the way to the door, but I know who it is despite the wildflowers that are in front of his face. He lowers the flowers to knock on the door again. He smiles at me when he realizes I’m standing in front of him with tears streaming down my face. So much for my makeup. He opens the door, stepping inside, and as soon as he does, I run into his arms. He winces slightly, so I try to back off but he won’t let go of me. He whispers in my ear, “I’ve missed you so much.”
“I’ve missed you too. I thought you weren’t going to be here.” I look into his eyes, confirming that it’s really him. I can’t believe it.
He smiles. “I had Mama tell you that so I could surprise you.”
I pepper kisses all over him, so happy to see him. It makes him laugh. “I can’t believe you’re here.” I pull away again. “Are you okay? I mean really okay?”
“I’m okay. I have a little more healing to do, and I have an evaluation to pass before I can go back to work, but I’m fine.”
A huge smile spreads across my face, and I press my lips to his one more time. This time, his hand slips into the hair at my neck and he deepens the kiss. We pull apart, and he says, “Go fix your face while I put these in water for you. Mama is expecting us back at the house soon.” I nod and run off to do as he asked, so we can get back to his parents’ for dinner.