Another week of my life passes in a blur. Sitting at my second chemo treatment, I think about everything that has happened since I heard the devastating news.

Material things no longer matter.

I’m not as strong as I thought, but I am.

Bruno has become a fixture in my life.

Shutting people out isn’t possible any longer.

I want to live.

Over the course of the last week, Rebecca and Bruno have kept me busy. I’ve regained my strength and have begun feeling more like myself again with their help.

Rebecca wasn’t happy that Bruno was around at first, but he grew on her slowly.

“There’s something about him,” she insists, sitting on a stool in front of my chemo chair, moving back and forth using her feet.

“What do you mean?” I play dumb because I know where she’s going.

She taps her finger against her lip and the wrinkles on her forehead deepen. “I can’t describe it, but there’s something that—”

“I know.” I grab a cracker from the table and jam it in my mouth before I say something more.

“I still don’t like him around you.”

I swallow down the dry crumbs in my mouth. “Bec, he’s harmless,” I lie, but I find it easier the more I do it. After spending so much time with him, I almost believe my own bullshit.

Her nose wrinkles and she shakes her head quickly. “He’s not, Cal. He’s scary and dangerous.”

I laugh at her absurdity. A couple of weeks ago, I would’ve said the same thing. I would’ve never let him inside, but now, I’ve seen another side of him, one that only gives me comfort. “He hasn’t killed me yet, so I think I’m safe.”

The stool squeaks and she comes closer. “But his people…” she whispers.

I gasp and cover my mouth, totally playing with her. “He has people?”

“Yeah.” She nods with a very serious look on her face. “He does.”

I move my face closer to hers and drop my voice so only she can hear. “Does he keep them in cages?”

“Be serious,” she tells me and scowls.

“Bec.” I laugh, leaning back and relaxing. “Bruno isn’t at all what we thought.”

“Illusions are dangerous. They reel you in, and at the last minute…” She makes a cutting motion across her throat.

“You’re so dramatic.” I laugh it off. If Bruno wanted to hurt me, I wouldn’t be here. He’s the gentlest man I’ve ever met.

“Nurse,” Becca calls out and points at me. “Does chemo mess with the brain?”

Her lips purse and she looks confused. “Excuse me?”

Becca waves her hand in front of me. “Can it mess with her mind? Her thinking has been altered.”

“Should I grab a doctor?” she asks and starts to move toward me with her hands outstretched.

I put my hands between us and stop her, shooting a pissy look at Becca. “I’m fine, Nurse Bobby.” I look at her tag to make sure I use the right name. “My friend is just being dramatic.”

She’s looking back and forth between us. “Are you sure, dear?”

“Becca, tell the woman I’m fine.” My jaws clenches.

Becca spins around on the stool, acting more mental than I am. “Oh, she’s fine,” she starts to say and stops her stool so she’s facing Nurse Bobby. “She’s dating a guy we call ‘The Butcher.’ So clearly her thinking is perfect.”

Poor Bobby. She looks confused as shit and a little frightened. “Oh dear.” Her eyes look around the room, and I know she wants to get away but doesn’t.

“I mean, what’s not to love about a man who kills people for a living, right, Bobby?” Becca laughs like a loon.

“Um…” Bobby mumbles.

“Bobby, you can go. Becca is having a moment. A very dumb moment that she’ll regret later.”

“Why, are you going to send him after me?” She covers her mouth, pretending to be in a panic and acting like a tool.

I glance up at Bobby and smile. “Leave us for a bit. My friend is just playing a very unfunny game.”

“Okay,” she whispers and starts to back away, but she keeps her eyes on us. “But if you need me, just holler.”

“Becca.” My voice is firm and unwavering.

“Callie.”

“You’re a dope.”

“She’s too easy, and I swear you’re going off the deep end.”

“Let’s not forget whose fault that is?”

“Yours,” she replies with a guilty smile.

“Yours, dumbass.”

“Just be careful with him, babe.”

“You’ve seen it, haven’t you?”

“What?” she asks, tilting her head as if she doesn’t know what I’m talking about, even though she clearly does.

“You said there’s something about him. You know that he isn’t what we think. You can feel it.”

“I don’t know what I think or feel anymore. He’s still dangerous. That I know for sure. But there’s something I can’t put my finger on. Something doesn’t quite fit.”

“All I know is that he’s helped me more than I can ever explain.”

“Have you fucked him?”

I can’t hide my smile.

Her eyes widen and her mouth falls open. “Jesus, Cal, I can’t believe you.”

I laugh at her fake angst, but I know she’s going to ask for details. “Don’t tell me if you had the chance, you wouldn’t have done the same thing.”

“Well, yeah. Duh. Bucket list.”

“How would you have listed him?”

“Have hot monkey sex with a scary criminal.”

“You’re insane.”

“Says the girl who’s done it.” She scoots closer. “So how was it?”

“What?”

“Hot?”

I sigh because it was and more. “Yeah.” I smile, remembering exactly how sexy it had been.

“I hate you sometimes.” She laughs and slaps my leg playfully.

“Want to switch lives?” I feel guilty as soon as it leaves my mouth.

Her laughter dies. “I would.”

“I would never wish this on you, Bec.”

“But I’d switch places with you in a heartbeat. You’re my best friend. I can’t have anything happening to you.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

When I woke up this morning, I made a pact with God. I know it sounds insane, and maybe I am losing my mind, but dammit—anything is worth a shot. I promised Him that if He saved me, if He spared me from death, that I’d devote my life to finding a cure so no one else has to go through what I have been for last three weeks.

I told Him I’d even give up my shoe obsession, stop buying purses en masse, and give my all to stopping the disease from slowly killing off humanity. I’ll become motherfuckin’ Mother Teresa if it means I’ll survive.

Sitting among the other cancer patients and watching how graceful they are gives me renewed energy. They aren’t falling apart and too afraid to live.

If they can push through and show strength, so can I.

With Rebecca by my side and Bruno insinuating himself into my world, I feel like anything’s possible.