“I let the last holiday slide, but I refuse to let you sit alone on Christmas,” Becca tells me on the phone.

“It was Thanksgiving. The only part of the holiday I liked was Black Friday anyway.”

Really, it is the best part. I used to plan my attack days in advance and scour the Internet for the sneak-peek ads. I never waited for the newspaper the morning of Thanksgiving. Becca and I always spent Black Friday running from store to store, snapping up every deal we could get our hands on. But that was impossible this year. I was too sick to deal, and my immune system too low to be around crowds. Plus, I had no desire to buy more things I didn’t need.

Mindlessly, I flip through the channels on the television while Becca chews me out and doesn’t stop for air. “Christmas is special.”

“It’s not to me.” Being without a family doesn’t make the holiday special for me. Not since I was a child had I felt excitement for the holiday season.

She gasps. “But my parents are expecting you.”

“Bruno invited me to Christmas with him,” I blurt out, trying to get her off my back.

“Really?” I can hear the shock in her voice. “He didn’t tell me.”

“Yes, really.” I can’t hide the annoyance in my voice. “By the way, when did you two become BFFs?”

“We’re not.” She sighs. “We just both worry about you.”

“Huh.”

“So are you going with him?”

“I don’t know.” When I think about spending a holiday with his family, it makes me smile, but it also terrifies me. Meeting someone’s family for the first time is stressful enough; throw in Christmas and it could make it one for the record books.

“I think you should,” she tells me to my utter shock.

I drop the remote in my lap. Who has kidnapped my best friend? “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“It’ll be good for you.”

I rub my face, confused and unable to make the decision. “I’ll think about it. Either way, I promise not to be alone on Christmas. Okay?”

“I’ll hold you to it, Cal.”

“I know you will.” Because she never forgets a promise. The woman has a mind like a steel vault. Ask her what she ate yesterday and she probably can’t remember. Ask her what you said to her in 2008 after a date gone wrong and she can recall it word for word. She scares me sometimes with her uncanny ability to remember stupid shit.

She laughs, which makes me smile. I’ve missed her laughter…the beauty in it. Every time she laughs, I can’t help but smile. It is the kind of laughter that has a little geek in it and sometimes a snort. It is precious and makes me love her more.

Only a few weeks left until Christmas, and I know I have to make my decision soon. I have one chemo treatment left, which means I’ll probably find out if I am in remission right around the big day. Lucky me.

“I got to run, Bec. I have things to do.”

“You do?”

“I do,” I lie. I just didn’t want to talk about Christmas anymore.

“Call me later?”

“I will.”

“Love ya.”

“Smooches, babe.”

As soon as we hang up, I make an executive decision. In light of my new lease on life and way of thinking, I’ll spend Christmas with Bruno. Why not try something different? For years, Becca’s parents have invited me to be a part of their family, and I’m thankful for it. Sometimes it makes my heart hurt, but I would have been lost without them.

Christmas with the— Wait, I don’t even know his last name. I’ve never bothered to ask him, and it hasn’t even crossed my mind. I’ve never even heard it in passing. He has always been Bruno “The Butcher,” but never has a last name been mentioned.

Me: What’s your last name?

Besides wanting to know so I know which family I’ll be with, I also think a quick Google search might be fun. It’s my go-to resource for important information on anyone. I always checked out my dates. Finding out if they had a criminal background had always been important. But I know Bruno is a criminal. Even though I know there probably isn’t a thing I’d learn that I don’t already know.

Bruno: Bruno.

Did I type the question wrong? I glance down. Nope. I asked it right.

Me: No, I mean your LAST name. I know your first name is Bruno. Duh.

Bruno: Bruno.

“What the fuck?” I groan and stare at his reply.

Me: Clearly we have a misunderstanding. So is your first name Bruno or your last?

Bruno: Last.

Huh. Never in a million years would I have thought it isn’t his name.

Me: So what’s your first name?

Finding out this little tidbit has me on the edge of my seat. I need to know the name of the man I have slowly and surely fallen for over the last month.

Bruno: I would tell ya, but then I’d have to kill ya.

I blink. He can’t be serious.

Me: You’re an asshole.

Bruno: I know.

I laugh. He’s both infuriating and funny. Typically, the combination, along with his caveman ways, would have me running for the hills, but something about him makes me want more.

Bruno: Rocco

Okay. Hold up. He has a badass name with Bruno, but Rocco… It’s just perfect. Maybe I’ll rename him. He’d be a perfect Rocky. The Butcher sure as hell doesn’t fit anymore.

“Rocco Bruno,” I repeat to myself and smile. It’s absolutely perfect.

Me: It’s perfect, Rocky.

Bruno: Don’t.

Oooo. I struck a chord.

Me: Why?

Bruno: No one has called me Rocco or Rocky since I was a kid.

Me: But I like it.

He doesn’t reply right away. The message doesn’t even show he has read it, but I know he has to have. I’ll wait. I’m patient and he can’t ignore me for long. That much I know about him.

My eyes feel heavy and sting as I watch Christmas Vacation for the hundredth time in my life while waiting for him to respond. I always wished I had that big, insane family. Being driven crazy by silly relatives would be so much better than being alone and waking up to no gifts under my Christmas tree.

Maybe someday.

---

“Beautiful,” he whispers before the couch dips next to me.

“Bruno.”

“Yeah.” He wraps his arms around and pulls me against his side.

I curl into him, almost instinctively. “You didn’t text me back,” I complain without opening my eyes.

“Shit got busy at work.”

“Have to whack someone?”

He laughs and strokes my hair. “You’re precious with all your pop culture references. I’m most certainly not the Godfather.”

I giggle and glance up at him. “You’re more like Rocky.” I wink.

He looks upward and tries to hide his discomfort at the nickname. “Yeah, I guess you could say that.”

I push myself up to face him. “Why do you hate it?”

He grimaces and lifts me into his lap. “You won’t understand, Cal.”

I place my hand on his chest, just above his heart. “Try me.”

He adjusts me so I’m not resting against his cock. It makes me a little sad because it feels nice pressed against my body. “My buddies used to call me that when I was a kid. I was a troublemaker, and it wasn’t a nickname I wanted to keep as an adult.”

I frown and draw my eyebrows together in confusion. “But you’re okay with ‘Butcher’?”

He laughs silently with his mouth closed. “People who don’t know me call me that. It’s amusing.”

“But Rocky bothers you?”

“Yes.”

I search his eyes and try to figure out if he’s pulling my leg. “You have me so confused.”

“I know.” He grins and runs his fingers along my cheek. “I’m trying to think about how to explain it to you.”

“Please.”

“The Butcher is nonsense. It’s made up. He’s a person people believe me to be. I know he’s not real. I let them believe what they want. But Rocky, the angry kid who looked for a fight at every turn, isn’t who I am anymore. It’s not someone I want to be again.”

My heart breaks a little. I lean forward and speak softly, trying not to sound judgmental. “But you do hurt people for a living, right?”

His hand cups my cheek, and I push my face into it. “Do you think I hurt people?”

I can’t imagine him hurting anyone. “Knowing you like I do now… No. I can’t imagine it.” I smile at him, my heart ready to explode with so many emotions. “The man who takes care of people he loves with such passion cannot be the same man who would break another’s legs.”

“I can’t talk about my work, Cal. You know that.”

“I know.” I pout. God, I want to know everything about this man…everything.

“But I can tell you this.” He places his other hand against my face, holding it so I can’t look anywhere but in his eyes. “I’ve never done anything to anyone that they didn’t deserve.”

“Okay,” I whisper and try to find solace in that statement—kind of. He didn’t say he’s never killed anyone, just that if he did, they deserved it.

“Do you understand what I’m saying?”

“I think so.”

He leans forward and places his lips against my forehead. “I’d never do anything to hurt you.”

“I know.” Not a bone in my body doubts his words.

“Come here,” he says, releasing my face and wrapping his arms around my back. I let him pull me toward his chest and I tuck my head under his chin. “There are just things I can’t tell you. Not yet, at least. One day you’ll understand.”

“I will?” I fist his shirt in my hands, gripping it tightly.

He rubs my back with one hand and tangles his fingers in my hair with the other. “You will.”

“Someday?” Does that mean that Bruno plans to stick around once I’m better?

His hands still. “Why would you ask it like that?”

“I just figure—” I can’t say the words. Hearing that I’m only temporary will rip me apart.

His arms tighten around me, leaving no space between our bodies. “Do you think I’m going somewhere, Cal?” He rests his cheek against the top of my head. “I’m not going anywhere. Sick, healthy, or a general pain in the ass, you’re not getting rid of me that easy.”

I smile and know I’m a pain in the ass. Typically, a whiny one as of late, but it never seems to faze him. “Promise?” I ask and slide my hand up his neck, placing my palm against his pulse.

“Promise. So why did you want to know about my last name?”

I close my eyes and feel the thrum of his pulse against my palm. “I wanted to know the name of the family I’m spending Christmas with this year.”

“Yeah?” I can hear the excitement in his voice.

“Yep. I’m going to a Bruno Family Christmas.”

“You’ve made my night, kid.”

“It’s scary, but I’m excited.” Really, I’m petrified, but I’ll never tell him.

“There’s nothing to be scared of. My family will love you.”

I’m not worried that they won’t; the thing that has me the most scared is that I’ll fall madly in love with the Bruno family.

Lee, I’ve already fallen for, and I can’t imagine not having her in my life.

But what if his entire family is like the two of them?

What if I love them so much that not being part of them breaks my heart?