As a child, my family had a Christmas routine. When I was little, we’d spend Christmas Eve doing last-minute shopping for the big day. We didn’t have any other family. It was just the three of us. When everyone else was with extended family, we were the last few stragglers at the stores picking out the last-minute items my mom always forgot.

She used to tell me, “This is the best day to shop, Callie. Always remember that. It’s when you get the best deals.” She and I would spend the night wrapping presents before I’d run to my bed and wait for Christmas morning to arrive.

It’s so opposite to the Brunos. There is no shopping on Christmas Eve. After we go downstairs, we decorate the Christmas tree, prep the meal for the big day, and eventually end up at church.

It has been ages since I’ve stepped inside a house of God. The familiar motions and phrases come back to me. With Bruno at my side, we hold hands and listen to the sermon. I hang on every word the priest utters.

When we walk out of the church, I feel lighter. The worry about there being nothing but darkness has been pushed aside. How could there be nothing else? Life is so precious and special; it couldn’t just be an accident that everything around me has come to life. There has to be some purpose to it all. Some grand plan that has not been revealed.

By the time I curl into his side and fall asleep, I feel nothing but peace. There is no longer any fear. Not about Bruno. Not about death. Everything has been replaced by tranquility.

---

“Cal,” Bruno whispers in my ear while he strokes my face. “Wake up, snoring beauty.”

“What time is it?” I groan.

“Present time,” he says playfully.

“Yo, Rocco, are you awake?” Lucca yells and knocks on the door.

The room is still dark and the sun hasn’t risen yet, but from the sounds of it, everyone is already awake and waiting.

“Come on, beautiful.” His fingers glide across the top of my chest, causing goose bumps to form on my skin.

“I’m awake,” I moan and rub my eyes. “Barely, but I’m awake.”

After we’re dressed, Bruno almost pulls me down the stairs he’s so excited. My body protests, still in need of sleep with each step. But when we walk into the living room, my eyes widen.

It looks like a Santa threw up in here or the North Pole landed in Watkins Glen. Last night, only a few presents were under the tree. But during the night, the empty space has filled and overflows into much of the room.

“Holy shit,” I mutter, rubbing my eyes to see if I’m dreaming.

“Pretty cool, huh?” Gabby says, her body bouncing on the floor, almost vibrating with excitement.

“Sit, sit.” Mrs. Bruno’s arms flail about as she walks in next to us.

I peer over, taking in her pajamas. She is decked out for the holiday. Her long robe has little reindeer on a red background. She has on fuzzy slippers and a pair of furry reindeer antlers on her head.

“Ah,” Mr. Bruno says as he walks in wearing a Santa suit.

This family is too much.

“Dad, you look like a goofball. We’re all too old for the Santa shit.”

Mr. Bruno gasps and puts his hand on his chest. “How dare you, Lucca? Santa’s real.”

“Yeah, maybe, but you aren’t him. Take that shit off.”

Bruno laughs, bringing my hand to his mouth and kissing it softly. “They aren’t normal,” he whispers against my skin.

I look over at him with the biggest smile. This was everything I ever wanted as a kid. It is what I dreamed of when I watched every crazy Christmas movie. I want this to be my family. “Normal is overrated.”

“Just wait. You haven’t met the rest.”

My eyes widen. “The rest?”

“Yep. There will be a house full of crazies by this afternoon.”

Fuck. More Brunos. “I’m sure it’ll be okay.” I gulp.

“They make my parents look…”

“Don’t you say it, Doodlebug. You know you love us.” Mrs. Bruno adjusts her reindeer antlers, straightening them.

“Uncle Pete, not so much,” Bruno mutters, dragging me toward the empty couch next to the oversized and decked out tree.

Bruno and I are the only two not sporting some sort of holiday clothing. If he had put on a Christmas T-shirt this morning, I would’ve run out of the house in terror. I would’ve thought his body had been snatched and his brain replaced with somebody else, somebody not Bruno.

There is no rhyme or reason to the next two hours. Mr. Bruno pulls gifts from under the tree and hands them out. Everyone watches as each gift is opened, one by one, and every gift is fawned over and everyone oohs and ahhs.

To my shock, I have a few gifts hidden underneath the tree. Some beautiful clothes from Lee, some bath products from his parents, and a small package from Bruno. I set it next to me and keep staring at it, a little nervous about what could be inside. He wouldn’t get me a ring.

Anything that comes in small boxes always makes a girl’s heart go pitter-patter. It freaks me out, though. When he nudges me and says, “Open it.” I want to disappear.

All eyes are on me as I tear open the wrapping paper, a nervous smile on my face, and keep my eyes on the box, not daring to look anywhere else. Opening the card slowly, I hold my breath.

Callie,

Thank you for bringing the light into my darkened world. Remember that, without it, the little things wouldn’t be as sweet. Although the darkness has brought us together, nothing will tear us apart. Think of me, of us, every time you look at this and remember that my love burns as bright and strong as the rays of the sun. I’ll always be there to yank you from darkness, eclipsing it, and sheltering you from the bad. I’ll always be there pulling you forward and into the light.

Love,

Rocco

My eyes fill with tears, plopping down on the card like huge raindrops falling from the sky. The writing starts to smear and run down the paper, and my fingers frantically wipe them away but only make it worse.

He wraps his arm around my shoulder and pulls me into his side. “Merry Christmas, Cal,” he whispers in my ear before kissing my temple.

With shaky fingers, I open the box. It has the familiar logo of one of my favorite jewelry designers. When I crack open the fuzzy container, I see the most beautiful ring. A starburst lined in diamonds with a beautiful blue topaz sitting at the center.

“It’s so beautiful,” I blubber, wiping my eyes before plucking the ring from the box. It sparkles in the soft glow of the tree, shimmering with rays like the sun.

“Just promise me you’ll wear it and always remember to savor the sweet moments,” he says, leaning over and speaking softly so no one else can hear.

“I promise.” I choke back the tears.

“A ring?” His mother jumps to her feet.

“Calm down, Mom. It’s not what you think.”

“I can dream.” She smiles and takes a step closer. “Let me see that beauty.”

She whistles and takes my hand, studying the starburst. “Stunning.”

“It is.” I place the ring on my finger with nervous hands. It means more to me than anything else I own. I know I said things didn’t matter, but this “thing” is more than a possession; it has a meaning.

“Thank you,” I say with a small voice, glancing at Bruno.

His smile is so wide it almost touches his eyes. The darkness in his eyes has vanished, leaving just caramel softness behind his lush lashes. “You’re welcome.” He wraps his arm around me.

Guilt settles deep in my belly. In my haste, and really not knowing too much about the man, I bought him a shitty present. Not just a stupid one, but completely shitty. Not socks—that would’ve been disastrous—but something that doesn’t equal his present to me.

“Ah, Rocco, here’s your present from Callie,” Mr. Bruno announces, pulling my gift from under the tree.

I rip it from his hands before he has the chance to hand it off to Bruno. “I need to give it to you in private,” I tell him, scrambling to think of a way to make it up to him.

The corner of his mouth curves up. “Oh, yeah? Is it sexy?”

“Very,” I lie and know I’ll be on my knees to make up for the guilt I feel over his gift.

“Open it.” Mrs. Bruno claps her hands, looking way too excited. “Those are the best kind of gifts.”

Before I can stop him, he tears the paper on the gift and opens the box. Inside sits a single gold key on a ring I had engraved with his name. “Is it…?” he asks, looking over at me and picking up the key.

“To my place.” I smile widely and hope he isn’t disappointed.

“I love it, Cal.” He reaches for my face and pulls it to his before kissing me.

“That shit isn’t sexy unless it’s to—”

“Mom!” Bruno protests before she can finish the statement. I laugh before Bruno does and then everyone else follows suit. He opens the card, his eyes moving across the words.

Bruno,

You’re my tether, my anchor, my beacon of hope. You’re the one who chased away the darkness and brought me back into the light.

Love,

Callie

He closes the note slowly and places it back in the box before setting the key on top. “You know I feel the same,” he says and rests his head against mine. “You think I saved you, Cal, but you made me feel things I never knew were possible.”

Lucca starts to gag loudly. “Seriously, you two are killing my Christmas.”

“Shut up, Lucca,” Gabby tells him and wipes her eyes. “They’re beautiful.” She sighs loudly with a tilted head and stares at us both.

“Let’s open gifts,” Bruno tells his father. “Keep passing them out.”

We look into each other’s eyes. Without speaking a word, I know what he says to me. I love you. And my eyes say it right back.

---

Hours later, the doorbell rings. We’ve been in the kitchen for hours prepping dinner for the house full of guests.

“If it gets to be too much, just say something and we’ll sneak away,” Bruno tells me as I wipe my hands on the dishtowel. I nod and take a deep breath before following him into the foyer.

He wasn’t kidding when he said that the house was going to be full. They didn’t show up a few at a time but in droves. At least twenty relatives crowd into the house, bearing gifts, food, and wine.

“So what do you do, Callie?” his uncle Pete asks me while sipping on some eggnog.

“I’m a molecular biologist,” I tell him and fidget with my wineglass, searching for Bruno in the crowd.

“You’re talking to a mechanic, kid. Break it down for me.” He takes a sip of his eggnog and it leaves a white rim on his mustache.

“I study the cellular structures of the body. Most importantly, I study cancer at the molecular level. How different treatments change the cell and whether it can be maintained for long periods of time in order to keep a body in remission.”

He wipes his mouth with the arm of his sweater. “I don’t know what you said, but it sounds exciting.”

“Thanks.” I glance over at Bruno across the room. He’s laughing and gives me a chin lift. Somehow, Uncle Pete has cornered me, and no one wants to take him off my hands.

“Aren’t you proud of my nephew?”

My eyes drift back to him, and I can’t help but smile. “I am.”

“He’s been working his ass off so much I don’t think he gets to have much fun. I can tell you make him happy.”

“How can you tell?” I glance at Bruno again and plead for his rescue with my eyes.

“He’s smiling, ain’t he?”

“Yeah.” I laugh as Bruno walks over to me a little too slowly.

“Hey, Uncle Pete. Can I steal Cal away for a few?”

“I should go see if your mother needs help anyway.” He smiles, excuses himself, and saunters off to the kitchen.

“Thanks,” I tell Bruno and rest my head against his chest.

“Do you want to go lie down?”

“No. They’re your family, and they’re here to see you.”

“They’re here to see everyone, especially the woman I brought home with me.”

“Is that why everyone is staring at me?”

It makes sense. For a minute, I think maybe my wig is on wrong or that I smudged my eyebrow, but after checking my reflection in the mirror, I figure people are just curious about the new guest.

“Yeah. You’re the first to be here with me since Maggie.”

I look up at him as he watches his family. I wonder how his life would be different if Maggie had survived. He probably wouldn’t be putting his life on the line every day. Maybe he would’ve never entered the service. If he had been mine, I would’ve thrown a fit if he tried to enlist.

Even though I’m sad for his loss, I can’t imagine going through this without him. It’s selfish, and I should feel guilty for thinking that way, but I don’t.

I don’t know if I would’ve survived treatment without him. Becca would’ve never been able to handle me and pull me from my funk. She would’ve tried like hell, but I know how stubborn I can be.

For the rest of the evening, I stand by Bruno’s side and soak up the love and warmth his family offers. I know in that moment that the thing I want most is a family of my own someday.

But my dreams will have to be put on hold. I know it takes the body years to recover from the aftermath of chemotherapy.

“You ready?” Bruno asks me and I look at him, confused. “To go see my house?”

My mouth forms a tiny O before a giant smile spreads across my face. I’m bouncing on the tips of my toes at the thought of seeing his real place. “Yes!” I screech, which makes him laugh.

He takes my hand and tells his parents that we’ll return shortly. I’m so excited as we walk out that I almost fall down the steps. Bruno just laughs and catches me. Instead of heading to his truck, he pulls me toward the sidewalk.

“We’re walking?” I ask, shivering from the cold.

“It’s three houses down,” he tells me, slipping off his sweater and wrapping it around my shoulders.

“Three?” I ask in shock.

“Yeah.”

“Well, then, why aren’t we staying there?”

When we come to a stop in front of an old brick home, he turns me to face him. “My mom has this weird thing about staying at her house on Christmas. I know I can almost peek in their windows from my place, but she insists. So just know that in the future, we’ll be spending Christmas night at their place. When we have a family of our own, then maybe, just maybe, she’ll be okay with us walking over in the morning.”

I gape at him. There’s so much in what he said that has my mind reeling. He’s talking about “our family” as if it’s a certainty we’re going to have one and that I’ll be around for years to come. “You want a family?” I whisper.

“I want lots of kids, Callie.”

“But Bruno—” He quiets me, placing his lips against mine. I never get to finish the statement. As we walk up the steps, I scan the well-kept yard and take in the majesty of the gray colonial wood house. “It’s beautiful,” I tell him as he unlocks the door.

He smiles and doesn’t speak, opening the door for me and letting me be the first one to walk in. The home is older and full of character. Hardwood floors as far as the eye can see, walls lined with photographs and memories fill the space.

As we walk through the foyer, a picture catches my eye. It’s a young Bruno with his arms wrapped around a pregnant woman. He’s holding her belly, looking down at it with pride. I bite my lip to stifle the cry that’s about to break free.

“Hey,” he says, and then his eyes follow mine and he realizes exactly what I’m looking at. “That’s Maggie.”

I step closer, wanting a better look at the woman who loved him long before I did. She’s petite even with her belly, and he towers over her. I can see the love on his face and the happiness on hers. The thought of something so beautiful being torn to shreds makes me want to promise him that nothing like that will ever happen to us. But I know I can’t promise such things. “She’s gorgeous,” I tell him, unsure of what else to say.

“She was.” He wraps his arms around my waist . “I’m sorry you have to see this.”

I turn my head, wanting to see his eyes. “Don’t ever be sorry for having loved and lost. She’s a part of you, Bruno, and for that, there’s nothing to be sorry about.” I rest my head on his shoulder and just stare at the young couple in the photo.

“I loved Maggie, Cal, but not like I love you. We were young, and I don’t really know if I understood the true meaning of love. I don’t regret a moment of the heartache I went through with Maggie and losing my baby. They brought me to you. Maybe they put you in my life to make up for the hole they left behind.”

I turn in his arms and hold his face in my hands. He needs to hear the words and look in my eyes when I say them. “Bruno, if something happens to me, I don’t want you to be sad.”

“Callie, stop.” He grabs my arms and tries to quiet me.

“Don’t,” I demand and continue. “If I don’t beat the cancer growing inside of me, I want you to go on. I want you to find another woman to love. You have so much to give, so much love to share that I never want you to be alone again. If I’m not here anymore, I want to know that you’re happy and not alone. Don’t fall into the same despair you did after losing Maggie. Remember that sometimes it’s all just part of the journey we’re meant to travel to be with the one who’s destined to be ours.” The words are hard to say. Facing my mortality and knowing I can pass away makes my chest ache and my heart pound furiously, almost out of control. “Promise me.”

“Callie, I can’t do that.” His eyes dip down, his lips set in a firm line.

“You have to promise me,” I whisper and choke down the tears that have formed in my eyes. “I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you. I need you in my life, but I know that if I’m no longer here to love you, then I want you to be with someone who you deserve. You aren’t meant to be alone, Bruno. None of us is. Promise me you’ll never give up on the dream of having a family.”

“I promise,” he grits out through clenched teeth, but even though I know he’s unwilling to understand the depths of my love, I stand on my tiptoes and kiss him.

We spend the next hour looking around the house and planning for the future. Before I close my eyes that night, I realize I dream of more now instead of dreading the unknown.

Bruno gave me that.

He brought the light to my darkness and gave me hope.