I enter the mudroom and get myself layered up, ready for the freezing temperatures outside.
My brothers and Phoenix don’t even notice me as they keep working. Phoenix appears to be the team leader, issuing instructions where she wants things placed.
There are large boxes lining the driveway, some already empty. I can see what Billy was grumbling about, earlier. Joel has purchased everything he could lay his hands on at short notice—same day delivery guaranteed—and these companies were living up to that statement, as the back of a delivery truck can be seen driving off.
I take the steps down to the snow covered front garden and perform a slow, three-hundred-and-sixty-degree spin.
Christ! I find myself struggling not to laugh out loud.
“Go hard or go home,” Joel shouts out to me, from where he’s pulling a large polar bear garden figure from a box. He places it down in the snow, next to two more various sized polar bears.
He laughs when he sees the look on my face and shrugs. “First Christmas… it’s gotta be one to remember.” And it will be if Joel has anything to say about it.
They’ve all been busy. There isn’t going to be much daylight left and everybody is working as fast as they can.
Slade has joined the crew and Phoenix has him in charge of candy canes. He holds one up to me. “Go hard,” he repeats on a chuckle.
“I can see,” I reply. I’m impressed with what they’ve done.
The front of Ghost’s home is already decorated with a gazillion Christmas lights and some of the trees are being worked on.
Drill is busy pulling letters out of a box, dropping them one at a time onto the snow. “Sweetheart, where you want me to stake the word: JOY?” She directs him and then another question is being hollered at her.
Guess I better grab a box or five and get to help making this the best ever first Christmas.
***
I’ve spent roughly four hours outside working at hanging lights on branches in the trees and lining the driveway with Joel-purchases, when I get a text from Miss Catherine. Our conversation back and forth was nice and relaxed until Miss C tells me Whisper is having a bad dream. The old lady told me she would handle Whisper, but I needed to see for my own eyes she was okay.
I climb down from the ladder I was standing on, taking longer than I wanted because of that fucking moon boot and start heading for the porch.
“Edge, everything okay?” Ghost has stepped into my path. He’s worried about me and Boxer getting into it. The man should be out of his coma soon enough.
“Whisper’s awake and having a bad dream, I’m gonna go see if she’s doing okay.” I look down at the hand that is holding my arm. “You got a problem with that?”
“Nope, just keeping tabs”—he lowers his voice and turns his head from side to side, noting where all my brothers are and who is paying attention—“I can’t be trusting in your men to hold you back from an altercation with Boxer, so that’s why I’m keeping a keen eye on you,” he says with a tight smile. “I don’t mean no disrespect towards your men, they have your back, but in a different way to me having your back.” He removes his hand. “That’s why I’m asking.”
“I know what I’m doing, Ghost,” I tell him, eye to eye.
“I hope so.” He steps aside and I continue up the porch steps. “Edge!”
I turn around standing on the top step. “What?”
“You look like shit and you stink, you might want to invest in a shower and a change of clothes.”
“Fuck off!” I hear a few of the guys laughing. I’ll crash if I get any comfort, easier to keep going and get cleaned up later.
I dump the knitted beanie, gloves and the winter coat wherever they fall and quickly sniff my armpits. The deodorant I’d sprayed on in the town car seemed to be doing its job, and then I’m stalking through Ghosts home, up the stairs and turning towards the room Whisper’s in. I come up short by Ghost’s open door, where I hear Whisper’s voice filtering clearly through to me.
Not wanting to interrupt their talk, I slide down the wall and sit. Whisper’s opening up to Miss C, telling her everything she’s been through since the night I shot her.
My fists are clenched as tight as my eyes when I hear about her ‘losing it’ for a while inside The Pen. How she felt her mind slipping away and was afraid she might not make it back.
Fuck, she’s so brave.
She’s now crying, letting that pressure valve release, pouring it all out of herself, and I can’t stand to sit here any longer.
I’m up and in the room without thinking clearly. I’m busting in on a private moment and I’ve gotta give them time to catch up. I’m the outsider.
I start reversing and then I hear music to my ears.
“Edge…” She’s moved herself out of Miss C’s arms knowing I caught her in such a vulnerable position.
“Whisper, provided you’re okay with me leavin’, I’m goin’ to be takin’ myself downstairs to fix something for dinner. The two of you need some privacy.”
She waits for Whisper to agree and then angles herself to get out of the bed. Once she’s got herself vertical, she’s heading for the bedroom door at a much slower pace than normal.
She’s a proud woman, but she needs help. “Hold up there, Miss C, what’s the rush? Let me help you.”
“Edge, I gave up rushin’ a good thirty-six-hours ago. Now everythin’ seems to be on a much slower shuffle.” She sighs dramatically. “If you’re gonna be stubborn and assist me, then you better be gettin’ to it.”
I slide an arm behind her legs and swing her up into my arms and wait for the ear lashing.
“What the hell you think you be doin’? I can damn well walk! You can lend me your elbow.” I have a lot of affection for this old lady.
“Whisper, are you okay if I come back and chat with you once I get Miss C downstairs?”
“Yes.”
Her eyes are a little puffy from crying, but those big browns of hers capture me and I’m falling into them. Then her stomach grumbles loudly.
“Edge… you goin’ to be gawkin’ much longer?”
“No…I’m good.”
“In theory, I be gettin’ to the kitchen quicker on your terms, if you actually start walkin’, then I can get to fixin’ somethin’ for Whisper that be stayin’ put in her belly.”
And then we’re gone from Ghost’s room and heading for the stairs.
We hit the kitchen and I pull out a chair placing her on it.
”First things first, Whisper needs food and so do you. What do you recommend for her?”
“Look in Ghost’s cupboards for any crackers, she can be keepin’ them by the bed for when she be wakin’ up in the mornin’. But for now, she be all right with a bowl of dry cereal and an apple, then we can be tryin’ her with some more food later. Bring me the fixings for sandwiches and I’ll make somethin’ for you quickly to be eating. You be hungry too, I don’t be doubtin’ that.”
I work my way around Ghost’s kitchen in silence and find everything I should need, including plates and bring it to the table for her. I take a seat while she sets to work.
She slides a plate with two chicken and salad sandwiches towards me. “Eat and listen, I got me some things to be sayin’ to you.”
Here we go.
She carries on working, her hands busy getting food prepared for Whisper and herself while I eat, wary of what she is about to spell out to me.
She stops what she’s doing and grabs my hand—almost desperately—and holds on as tight as she can. “Edge, you not been able to still your mind before, because it been all about gettin’ a lead on Whisper’s whereabouts. It’s been about discoverin’ where she be held and implementin’ a plan to save her. Now… what be your intentions?”
“Shit, Miss C! I’ve not thought that far ahead.” Yes I have. “For now I will take getting back into Ghost’s room and spending some alone time with her, before the crazy-train starts up and Boxer gets in my face.”
“Edge, you expectin’ Whisper to up and leave Connard—her home—and go live in Albuquerque with you?” She’s pushing me to be honest with her, because I don’t want to be separated from Whisper, I know that much. “You be expectin’ her to live her life as an old lady in your club, after bein’ surrounded by violence her whole life?” Fuck, these are hard questions. “You expectin’ Boxer or me to be agreein’ to happily let her go, when we only just be gettin’ her back? We would never cage her, but she be lovin’ us, I know that much.” Miss Catherine’s voice is brimming with emotion, because she truly loves Whisper like her own blood. She doesn’t appear to have any family other than Whisper and Boxer by extension.
I do selfishly want all of that.
“I won’t settle for puttin’ that girl in guilt-chains, but I don’t be wantin’ to give her up either, just so we be clear on that. Boxer is scared of losin’ that girl, too. I gotta lay it all out there, because you be a great threat to our little family as of now, because I feel it in dem bones of mine her heart was always marked to be yours. And if that don’t go scarin’ me wild about losin’ her, because I know you be the best man for her.” She tugs on my hand. Her eyes are full of fire for the love she has for my sweet and wild girl. “Been seein’ it today, with my own eyes.” She lets go of my hand.
“I’ve not truly known happiness, like I be knowin’ now, until that girl stepped onto my front porch, all soakin’ wet and frightened. She be a special one, and you not got around to bein’ shown how special, yet. You like what you be seein’ on the outside—but her beauty be way deep under the surface, too. And nobody want to be givin’ that up.”
Fuck!
“Edge, don’t you be wastin’ this time you got with Whisper before Boxer be wakin’ up, because that man is gonna be madder than a hatter when he be findin’ out I be leavin’ you two alone. I won’t be hidin’ that from him.” I don’t expect her to.
“Boxer is gonna be batshit no matter what, Miss C, you leave him to me. I’m more than capable of setting him straight—it’s Whisper I’ve got to convince.” She’s the only one that matters. She’s my every thought and so is the health of my baby; something I need to discuss with Doc when she wakes up.
“You be gettin’ on up there, Edge. You be the Prince she be needin’ to treat her like the Princess she deserves to be.”
My armor isn’t shiny, but I’ll fucking try.