“I must be getting heavy, you can put me down. I’ll manage,” I tell Edge, but can’t take my eyes off the garden. I want to flop back in the snow and make a snow angel.
“Nope, you weigh nothing… I could carry you for days.”
I look up at him. “Please, I want to make a snow angel.”
“Too cold, babe.”
I steel my eyes with determination. I don’t want this man to think he can tell me what I can and can’t do. Rules and orders I will no longer obey.
“I’ve survived your father, I can survive a few minutes in the snow—it will be a walk in the park compared to living under William’s roof.”
“Fuck-shit!” he grinds out under his breath. “This would be the wild part I’m getting now. Wild can be sexy, and it can also be stubborn and determined,” he mumbles like I’m not inches from his mouth. “I got stubborn with me now.”
“Wild is something I’m not!” I’ve never been wild.
“Babe, you can be sweet and you can be wild, seen it with my own eyes—felt it.”
I have to look away from those gunmetal eyes of his. He embarrasses me with his words. I know he is talking about the sex we’ve shared.
“The one thing you gotta learn real quick with me, babe, I don’t pussy foot around when I got something to say. I will hold my tongue, because now is not the time, nor is it any time before Christmas, but after, we need to be talking and making plans.
“For now, if you want to make a snow angel, well… fuck, you are gonna make a snow angel, because you ain’t gonna let up until you’ve made one. This would be the stubborn. I can see that in those big browns. Wouldn’t be surprised if you snuck out of bed this evening with Miss Catherine to come out here and plant yourselves in the snow. She’s got the wild in her too and won’t be tamed unless she wants to be and she’s got the unpredictable—learned that. I’m better off watching you get it out of your system, so I can get you back in my arms, where I know you’ll be warm.”
I turn my head and tilt my chin at him. “I think that would just about sum it up. Glad you aren’t thinking you have the right to tell me what to do, because no man is ever going to be doing that to me again.” I know now’s not the time to be saying those words after everything that’s been done for me, but I need to lay down the law: Whisper’s Law. I try to soften the moment. “I need ‘me’ back, Edge, do you understand?”
“I do. I spent a long time finding me when I got away from William. I know you had it worse than me, but that boy had lost himself too. I had good folk to take over the reins and raise me as I should’ve been in the first place. You have Miss Catherine and Boxer, and I get that—but I’m aiming to insert me into your life and no matter how complicated it gets, I will be there for you. I just gotta let you lay that foundation when you’re ready. I’m a patient man and I can wait, but I ain’t letting you out of my sight. Just so we’re on the same page. I will give you space, because I have good eye sight and can see far, and know you need open colorful spaces.”
My eyes are fighting to pop out of my head at his blunt honesty.
“Don’t mean to scare you, because I’m not my father or Cezar, just speaking my mind.”
And then he hollers at Dr. Castille. “Doc… we got ourselves a situation here. Whisper’s fine, she’s just got a request that apparently must not be denied.”
She pulls away from Boxer, her attention now focused on us. “And that would be?”
“Whisper wants to make a snow angel, so against any medical better judgement and the fact she’s got bandaged hands and feet, I’m about to make a snow angel with her. And once she’s got that out of her system, then she will need you to attend to fresh bandages, inside. Sorry to cut the Christmas wonderland viewing short, but I don’t think she realizes how cold and wet she’s gonna get. Once she has her snow angel out of her system, I’ll be bringing her back inside to get dry and warmed up.”
“I think I want to make one of those too,” Miss Catherine pipes up.
“Yup, figured you would,” Edge replies sounding amused. “Might as well. Ghost you’re in charge of getting her up once she’s down.”
“I got her covered,” he hollers back at Edge and helps the old lady to her feet. “Miss Catherine, you’ve got ten seconds to flap your arms and legs and then I’m getting you up.”
“Thirty seconds,” she counter offers.
“You know I would’ve given you longer,” Ghost replies good-naturedly. “But thirty will be enough after the eventful twenty-four hours you’ve had.”
“You ready to do this?” Edge says to me, one eyebrow hitting the hem of his beanie.
“More than you will ever know.” I’m so excited.
“When I lower you down my body, place your feet on my boots and I’ll hold your waist and take your body weight while I unwrap the blanket from around you. Then I’m going to hold you by your forearms, taking your body weight again, until you want me to let go. Okay?”
I’m nodding enthusiastically. I’ve seen this done in the movies and it looks so much fun. I can hear Miss Catherine laughing. She’s on her back and making an angel.
“I’m ready.”
Edge lowers me down his body, like I’m precious cargo until I find his boots. We are flush up against each other, his lips so close to my forehead, his breath coming out in white puffs.
The blanket comes off.
“Tell me when.” His lips are by my ear and I’m no longer sure if I want to fall away from him or into him. “Babe, you still wanna do this?”
“When!” I say on a giddy laugh and then I’m falling backwards hitting the deep snow and I start flapping my arms and legs. The painkillers help me to control the pain, but they don’t keep me warm. It is indeed wet and cold, but I can’t seem to care. I’m laughing and it feels so good to laugh and the angel I’m making helps me to feel free and silly.
I want to build a snowman next, but that can wait until tomorrow. Keeping busy will keep the boxes sealed down tight. Only happiness is allowed until after Christmas and then all the walls can tumble down.