Chapter 36

Josie’s stubborn side took over, and she didn’t get in touch with Sam but waited for him to contact her. It had never occurred to her that she’d end up missing him before she even left. She almost called him lots of times, but every time she reached for her phone she remembered how adamant he’d been that their relationship was over if she left. He wouldn’t entertain the idea of a long-distance relationship. If she left, that was it. Could she really be with someone who gave her ultimatums?

In the end, she was sure that if Sam really loved her, he’d be supportive and do whatever it took to make things work. He just didn’t care enough. It broke her heart, but that was the conclusion she came to. 

She spent her days walking the fields with the dogs. She’d miss all the fresh air and exercise, and Annette too. Annette being alone was something she worried about a lot. Of course, Annette insisted she’d be fine, but Josie felt guilty all the same.

She’d thrown herself into finding a replacement – someone to help Annette with the kennels. Max had insisted he could find someone, but Josie wanted to do it. It reminded her of those first days in Averton when she’d driven to all the pet shops and vet’s practices, putting up adverts for the kennels. Except now she was advertising a job. Her job. She trawled job sites on the internet too and put up online ads. It should be someone local who could call in every day. She couldn’t stand the thought of someone living at Oakbrook like she had.

On Friday morning she drove to Hope Cove. When Lizzie wrapped her in a hug, it made Josie cry. She wiped away tears and they moved into the living room. Max was at the desk in the corner and looked up from a pile of paperwork.

“Sorry for disrupting your morning,” Josie said when he left to make coffee.

“It’s fine,” Lizzie said. “I’m glad you came. We were planning on calling over to see you before you left.”

“I can’t believe I’m leaving in a week,” she said. “I’m worried about Annette. I think I might have found a replacement to help her with the kennels. I’ve been emailing a local girl who’s looking for something part-time working with animals. She’s coming over tomorrow and I think she might work out.”

“That’s good. Don’t worry too much about Annette. We’ll keep an eye on her, and Sam said he’ll help out as much as he can.”

“That’s nice,” Josie said bitterly. “He’s not speaking to me.” Her hands covered her face as she dissolved into a blubbering wreck.

Lizzie patted her shoulder.

“I really thought that when he got used to the idea, he’d be okay with it. I never wanted to lose him. I thought he’d call and we’d work things out.”

“I know,” Lizzie said gently.

“And I’m angry, so angry with him!” Josie’s voice quivered with emotion. “He’s being unreasonable. He wouldn’t even talk about it. All he says is that if I leave, that’s the end of things between us.”

Max arrived and put mugs of coffee on the table. “He’s really upset too.”

“Did he talk to you?”

Max nodded. “He’s being pig-headed but he’s got his reasons.”

“What?” Josie said, desperately.

Max glanced at Lizzie before he spoke. “I take it he didn’t tell you about his ex?” Josie shook her head, remembering a conversation where he’d brushed the subject aside. “When he moved back to Averton, he was with someone. They were living in Bristol, but Sam wanted to move and she agreed to it. Except she had a project she wanted to finish up at work, so she was supposed to be in Bristol for six months while Sam moved back first.” He waved a hand as though skipping a few details. “She ended up cheating on him with one of her colleagues.”

Josie sunk into the couch. At least that explained his aversion to long-distance relationships. “I live in a village. Everyone gossips. How didn’t I know that?”

“I don’t think he told anyone why they split up.” He smiled. “Didn’t want everyone gossiping about it, I suppose. He barely spoke to me about it.”

“I think he had a lucky escape,” Lizzie said lightly. “If you can’t manage six months apart then you really shouldn’t be getting married anyway.”

“Married?” Josie said.

Lizzie winced. “He didn’t tell you?”

“That he was engaged?” she snapped. “No. He forgot to mention that!”

There was a silence, and Josie caught Max glaring at Lizzie. They shouldn’t be caught up in her and Sam’s problems. Life would be much simpler if she’d never agreed to take the job at Oakbrook. She would never have got together with Sam, and getting her old job back would have been exciting rather than stressful.

Of course, she also wouldn’t have become so close to Annette or met Amber and Tara. There were lots of positives to her time in Averton, and she couldn’t let them be overshadowed by her problems with Sam.

“I’m sorry,” Lizzie said. “I just assumed you knew.”

“It doesn’t matter. He obviously didn’t want me to know. I’m starting to think things would never have worked out with us anyway. I thought I knew him so well, but I clearly don’t.”

Max cradled his coffee and sighed. “I’m sure he would’ve told you eventually. You’ve not been together long.”

Lizzie scowled at him. “That’s not really the point.”

“Max is right,” Josie said, hating the friction. “We haven’t been together long. It was probably never as serious as I thought. I got carried away, that’s all.”

“Well, I didn’t mean it like that,” Max said, letting out an exaggerated sigh.

Josie crumpled into tears and sobbed as Lizzie enveloped her in a big hug. She really hadn’t been together with Sam very long so she shouldn’t be so upset to find out things she didn’t know about him. Except that she distinctly remembered him telling her about the girlfriend he’d lived with in Bristol, and he’d made it sound pretty casual. He’d purposely not told her they were engaged. It’s not like she would’ve cared. She just hated that he’d kept it from her.

Max moved to sit on the other side of her and patted her knee. “Do you want me to talk to him?”

“No.” She sniffed and took a calming breath. “Thanks. I don’t think it’ll make any difference, and I don’t want to make things awkward for you. I’m sorry you’re caught up in the middle of my mess.”

“Don’t worry,” Max said with mischief in his eyes. “We have pretty boring lives these days. It keeps us entertained.”

“Oh my God,” Lizzie said. “You’re the most insensitive person in the world today! What is wrong with you?” She pushed Josie back into the couch so she could give Max a playful shove.

“She beats me up like this all the time.” He chuckled. “I thought I might get away with one joke since you’re here.” He raised an eyebrow at Josie. “Mrs Crazy Hormones doesn’t get jokes any more.”

“Because all you do is joke about my hormones! It’s not funny. I have two babies inside me.” She paused. “And I live with an idiot!”

“See what I have to put up with?” Max said.

Lizzie glared at him. “See what I have to put up with, more like!”

Josie couldn’t help but smile. They were very entertaining when they bickered.

“You know I love you really,” Max said, leaning over to kiss Lizzie.

“All right!” Josie said, pushing them apart. “Don’t go all lovey-dovey on me. It’s sickening.”

“How about we go down to the beach for a bit?” Lizzie said. “Swim and a picnic?”

Josie agreed, happily.

“Guess I’m making a picnic,” Max said. “Beats paperwork, I suppose.”

 

***

 

They spent a lovely afternoon on the beach. It was another thing Josie would miss: her spontaneous trips to the seaside to visit her sister. She tried not to dwell on it too much. She’d be back to visit as often as she could.

Alone in the car on the way back to Oakbrook, Josie’s thoughts inevitably lingered on Sam. She thought of him not telling her about his engagement and was angry with him again. If he didn’t think enough about their relationship to tell her about his past, then why had he made such a fuss about her leaving?

She’d worked herself into a state by the time she reached Averton, and she drove straight to Sam’s house. His van was on the drive but there was no answer at the door. It crossed her mind that he was ignoring her. Well, she’d just keep knocking and see how long until he let her in. She was hammering a fist against the door when she decided it didn’t seem like something Sam would do.

Then she heard the faint hum of a radio and followed the noise round the back of the house. She crossed the garden and saw him in the garage, hunched over a table with a look of concentration on his face. Her anger morphed quickly into sadness. She really did love him.

He stopped when he saw her and stood up straight, then walked casually over to her.

“Do you want a drink or something?”

She shook her head. What she really wanted was to put her arms around him and breathe in his scent. She wanted to laugh and joke with him and cover him in kisses. She didn’t want to feel so awkward around him. She clenched her jaw, trying her hardest not to cry.

“Can we talk for a minute?” She gestured the patio table and he pulled out a chair opposite her. She hesitated for a moment, watching a butterfly float across the lawn as she searched for something to say.

“Max explained why you won’t do a long-distance relationship. He told me about your ex.”

Sam’s eyes darkened. “It’s nothing to do with my ex. And Max should learn to mind his own business.”

“Don’t be annoyed with Max,” she said quickly. “If you’d talked to me he wouldn’t need to fill me in. Why didn’t you tell me about your ex?”

“This has nothing to do with my ex!”  he said angrily. “It’s about you. You get bored and move onto the next thing. How long before you get bored of having a long-distance relationship and move on? I’m guessing not very long.”

“I don’t have a crystal ball,” she snapped. “I can’t tell you what will happen. All I can tell you is that I want us to try and make this work.”

“How would it even work? Would you come back on the weekends? Do you expect me to drive all the way to London—”

“Yes!” she shouted, shooting out of her chair. She gave up with her attempt not to cry. “Yes, sometimes I would expect you to get in a car and drive to see me. What’s so unreasonable about that?” A sob escaped her. “I expected you to tell me important stuff like previous fiancées. And I expected you to make a bit of effort for our relationship. I guess I expected too much!”

“Will you stop turning this around on me?” he said, his voice a low growl. “You’re the one who decided to move away. It’s you who isn’t giving our relationship a chance.”

She took a deep breath. “So you want me to turn the job down? Stay here for you? How well do you think that would work out in the long run?”

“It won’t,” he said sadly. “We want different things. Different lives.”

“I still want you in my life,” she whispered.

The silence stretched out uncomfortably, and when it became clear he had no more to say, Josie walked back around the house and into her car.

 

***

 

She spent a week hoping he’d change his mind. Every morning in the barn, she hoped he’d creep up and wrap his arms around her and tell her that he was an idiot, and they could survive any distance. He never showed up, though. Never called or messaged her.

She kept herself busy training up her replacement, a young woman called Heather. She’d just finished training to be a veterinary assistant but hadn’t managed to find a job in the field yet. She was quiet, but polite and respectful, and at least Josie wasn’t leaving Annette completely alone.

Josie also met up with Tara and Amber that week and had one last night in the Bluebell Inn on Friday evening. Sam was nowhere to be seen, and she decided it was probably a good thing. She didn’t want a big scene in front of the whole village. It was harder than she’d expected saying her goodbyes in the pub, especially to Tara and Amber.

She was due to leave on the Sunday, and on Saturday evening she couldn’t take it any more and ended up on Sam’s doorstep. He was unshaven and unkempt. He looked how she felt: a mess. When he stepped aside without a word, she wandered into the living room. There was a dip in the couch where he’d been lying.

“I don’t want to argue but I’m leaving tomorrow and I didn’t want to leave things as they were.” She sat on the couch and looked up at him with sad eyes. “I already miss you so much.”

Still he didn’t say anything, and she was surprised when he sat so close beside her. He put an arm around her and pulled her to him. She revelled in the warmth of him and then slowly moved her mouth to his. The kisses started slow and gentle but soon became urgent and frantic. Clothes were discarded in a frenzy, and they clung to each other desperately as they made love.

When she woke in his bed the next morning, the sun was streaming through the window. Their bodies were tangled amongst the sheets. He ran a hand through her hair and she propped her chin on his chest to look up at him.

She didn’t want to go anywhere.