Chapter 45

Once she’d made some decisions she felt much better. She was going to continue working for Brenda but take some courses too. With some training under her belt, she could start her own small business offering obedience classes and dog grooming. It wasn’t the most ambitious of plans, but she was sure it would be good for her. She’d also started looking for a new place to live with renewed vigour. She’d found a few possibilities for flat-shares and had lined up appointments to view them.

Lizzie had called a couple of days after Josie had left the acting job. Apparently Lizzie and Annette had been discussing Josie’s birthday and were insisting she go down to Oakbrook for the last weekend in August so they could celebrate with her. Josie was turning twenty-nine and wasn’t convinced it was something she wanted to celebrate but agreed nonetheless.

Sam still popped into her head with annoying regularity. The phone calls didn’t help. Her willpower seemed to be diminishing, and she was sure she’d break down and answer if he kept at it. Surely his persistence would wane soon.

It didn’t, though. On Saturday, Josie was busy unloading the dishwasher at the café when Brenda shouted through that she had a visitor.

She was wiping her hands on her apron as she walked out and then stopped dead at the sight of Sam.

“I tried calling.” He looked at her woefully. All she could do was stare.

“How did you know where I’d be?”

“I spoke to your friend, Emily. She said you worked here on the weekends.”

Josie silently thanked Emily for not mentioning that the café was now the only place she worked. She’d not got round to telling many people that news.

“Can we talk?” he asked.

Brenda placed a hand on Josie’s shoulder. “Take a break if you need to.”

“Thanks.” She untied her apron and beckoned for Sam to follow her out of the café.

Up in Emily’s apartment, she switched the kettle on and turned to find Sam looking around the place. “So this is where you live?”

“Not for much longer. I’ll be moving out soon. Somewhere bigger.” Or so she hoped.

“I miss you,” he said flatly.

She hated the way her stomach went all fluttery. It took a lot of self-control not to tell him she missed him too.

“I’ve moved on,” she said instead. “I have a life here. And you were right – long-distance would never have worked for us. There’s no point dwelling on it.”

He stared at her like he was some sort of human lie detector. Her heart rate increased and she looked away, moving to gaze out of the window onto the busy street below.

“I wasn’t right,” he said. “I’m not sure I’ve ever been so wrong about anything in my life.” He paused and she felt him moving nearer to her. “But I really want to fix it.”

“We can’t fix it. You couldn’t be supportive and I don’t want to be with someone who asks me to give up my dreams. I need someone who’ll push me to take chances.” Tears welled in her eyes and she turned away from him.

“Sit down for a minute.” He took her hand and pulled her gently to the couch. She didn’t have the energy to protest. “I loved you from the moment I met you at the wedding.”

A smile flashed onto her face and disappeared again. She opened her mouth to speak but he talked over her. “When we got together I thought that was it for me. I planned a whole life for us in my head. Then you said you wanted to take the job in London and I realised you wanted something completely different. I didn’t know what to do, and I stupidly thought a clean break would be the best thing.”

“I never wanted to lose you,” she said.

“I know. And I should never have let you go.”

“What were your plans?” she asked seriously. “You said you planned a whole life for us …”

He leaned back into the couch, biting his lip. “Marriage, kids, dogs, old age.” His eyes finally met hers. “But I always planned on living in Averton. London was never in my plans.” He paused briefly. “Now I don’t really care where I live as long as I’m with you. I’ve been asking around and I think I can get a job in London—”

“What?” She couldn’t quite believe what she was hearing.

“I’ll move to London,” he said. “We can get a place together.”

“You can’t move to London.” The idea of it almost made her laugh. “You’ve got your lovely house and your life. You can’t just leave.”

“Of course I can. You need to be in London, and I don’t want to hold you back from your career. It makes sense for me to move. Just say you still love me and we’ll figure the rest out.”

“It’s so expensive here,” she mused. “We’d have to live in a tiny apartment.”

“I don’t care.” He reached for her hand and looked at her hopefully.

“I don’t know if it’s what I want,” she said slowly. His grip loosened on her hand and she grabbed onto him, not wanting to let go. She hadn’t meant that she didn’t want to live with him, just that she didn’t know if she wanted to live with him in London. It didn’t make any sense. What she really wanted was to live in Averton again, but that meant admitting what a huge mistake she’d made. She was embarrassed that her dreams of an acting career had vanished after all she’d talked about it.

“I need time to think,” she said. “This is all so out of the blue. I’m supposed to be at work and you’ve just sprung this on me.” Part of her wanted to jump into his arms and go back to how things had been between them, but after so long trying to get over him, it felt like a step in the wrong direction.

“Okay.” He squeezed her hand and stood up. “I’ll leave you to get back to work.”

She was aware of how far he’d driven to see her and was tempted to say he should hang around and she’d meet him after work. That didn’t give her much time to think, though. And if there was one thing she was sure of, it was that she needed to start taking more time to think things through properly instead of making rushed decisions.

“I’m visiting Annette next weekend.” Her birthday celebration. “We could get together then and talk things through.”

He paused at the door and nodded. “That sounds good.”

She lifted onto her toes and gently kissed his cheek before telling him to drive safely.