I flop back on my bed, I’m exhausted, both physically and emotionally drained. Twelve-hour shifts at work are kicking my ass, then Livie has been sick for the past few days. Poor little thing has had a fever and vomiting on and off . Katie and Emma have offered to help, but I don’t want either of them to get sick. Avery and Amber have been bringing things by as well, but we have only been talking through text. Both of them are about ready to pop, they can’t afford to get sick. I don’t know what I would do without all of them, I can’t even go to the bathroom without her at this point, and I have to carry her everywhere. Just them going to the store and checking on us is a huge help.

Every time I check my email and see a new one from Justin, it puts a smile on my face. Ever since the beginning, I have felt a connection to him. The type of connection I haven’t felt with anyone except for Trent. It makes me happy and terrifies me at the same time. I love having this connection to someone other than Livie, but what happens when he comes home? Will he still want to speak to me then? I know he lives in the area, but we have never discussed what happens when he gets home. Maybe this is just something to pass the time while he is away, to be forgotten when he is back home and part of civilization again.

Suddenly, my cell starts to ring, I slowly sit up and answer without checking the caller ID. “Good evening, Becca. I am so sorry to call you while your daughter is sick, but we really need you to come in. Marilyn called in sick, and we have a full house tonight. Is there any way you could make it? Even if it is only for a few hours, we would really appreciate it.” Cynthia, the head nurse of my department says over the line. Everyone knows my situation, and I know she never would have called if it wasn’t an emergency.

I bite my lip and think of anyone that I might be able to call and ask to help. Olivia hasn’t thrown up for almost twenty-four hours, and her fever is manageable. “Can I call you back? Let me make a phone call to check to see if someone would be willing to watch her. She’s actually feeling a lot better.”

“That won’t be a problem at all. Thank you so much! I will try to get you out of here as soon as possible.”

I hang up the phone and scroll through my contacts, looking for the only person I know who may be able to help.

“What’s up hot stuff?” Emma answers on the first ring.

“I need a huge favor. Could you possibly watch Livie for me? She hasn’t thrown up all day, and her fever is down. They called me into work for a few hours, I know they would never have called if it wasn’t an emergency.” I hold my breath and wait for her to respond.

“No problem, do you mind bringing her to my place? She can just stay the night. I know you haven’t been sleeping well, so you can just head home and get some sleep after your shift.”

“Bless you!” I say as I head toward Livie’s room. “I’ll get some things together and give her a bath. We should be there in an hour tops.”

“No problem. See you soon,” Emma responds before hanging up.

I stop at Livie’s door and take a look around. Not too messy that I can’t just pick up before I head to bed. “Hey Livie, how about a warm bubble bath?”

“Yea!” Sitting up, she starts stripping off her Batman footie pajamas and runs down the hall to the bathroom. She’s obviously starting to feel better and get her spark back. I’ve already taken two days off of work, I need to show up tomorrow. Especially since they said Marilyn is sick now, let’s just hope I don’t get whatever Livie had.

With Livie playing in the bubble-filled water, I send a quick message to my boss, letting her know that I will be in to help cover some hours tonight and that we will be back on schedule in the morning.

After letting her play for a little while, I make sure she washes up properly. We then pull the plug and get all of her toys in the net; she stands and waits for me to rinse her off before stepping out. This routine has been the same since she was first able to stand. I love that she knows what to expect, and I don’t have to tell her every little thing, she gets a sense of independence from it too.

Helping her step out and wrapping a big towel around her, I dry her off and tickle her a little too. “Okay, go get dressed. Momma has to go to work for a little while, but you get to go play with Auntie Emma.”

“OTAY!” Her shout piercing my ears as it bounces off the tile as she takes off down the hall toward her room. I guess she may have missed playing with her aunt. I can’t lie and say I haven’t missed her playing with her aunt either.

I pull up to Emma’s place with a very excited Olivia. I don’t care what she says, tomorrow she is going to day care. If she has this much energy, there is no way she doesn’t feel well enough to play with her friends.

I unbuckle her from her seat, and we both head up the flight of stairs, knocking on the door at the top. I’ve never been to Emma’s place. One night I came to pick her up for girls’ night at Katie’s, but that’s it. I’m not going to lie, I’m kind of hoping the infamous Jimmy is here, so I can finally see what all the fuss is about.

My dirty thoughts are interrupted when the door swings open, and who I can only guess is Jimmy opens the door. Wow, Emma was not kidding. This man is sex on legs, even if he does look grumpy as hell.

“Can I help you?” his deep raspy voice goes right to my lady bits. I will NOT lust after my friend’s man. Alright, maybe I will, but I’ll try not to.

“I’m here to see Emma. She said she would watch Olivia for me,” I say, trying to peak around his huge form.

“Lit Bit! You know someone named Olivia?” he grumbles before stepping back into the house. I take that as my cue to enter, gripping Livie’s hand in mine and following him inside.

“Quit your yelling, Old Man!” Avery pipes up from the couch, as she rubs her belly.

“TeTe Avwey!” Livie lets go of my hand and runs over toward her, stopping short to place a kiss on her belly, “Hello, baby Avewy,” she whispers.

“Isn’t that the sweetest thing in the world!” Amber says from the hallway, with Emma flanking her.

“Ugh, I’m going back down to the bar. Too much estrogen.” Jimmy gives me a salute before disappearing out the front door.

“Ignore him. I told you he can’t take all of this,” Emma says with a smile as she reaches down and picks Livie up. “Robin! I’ve missed you! You are going to stay here with us while your momma goes to work and guess what? We are going to have a sleepover!”

Livie whips around and stares at me with wide eyes. I can’t control the laughter that comes bubbling out of my throat. “Yes, sweetheart. You are going to have a sleepover with Emma.”

“YEA!” she shouts, throwing her little arms over her head.

“Okay, Momma needs to head into work. Come and give me a kiss.” Just as I am about to bend down and give her a kiss, my phone chimes, signaling a new email coming in. The only person who emails me is Justin. Unable to wait, I kiss Livie quickly and pull my phone out of my purse. I notice an attachment but ignore it and quickly open the email.

Tears begin to collect in my eyes, I know what he can’t say. He’s going on some kind of mission, it’ll be dangerous. He’ll write to me when he gets back to let me know that he’s still alive, if he makes it back. My heart breaks as fear takes hold of me, I don’t know if I can get attached to a military man again. I don’t know that I can survive the anxiety I’m feeling over the possibility of his death every time he leaves, especially if Livie gets attached too. It will break me.

“Momma?” Livie places her hand on my cheek, wiping away the tears I didn’t know I had let escape.

“Yes, baby?”

“You otay?”

My breathing hitches, I don’t know what to tell her. Am I okay? Physically, yes, but emotionally I am a wreck. I don’t want to get attached, but it’s too late. I need to know if he is safe. If he is going to come home in one piece.

“Do you remember the soldier I write to?” Livie shakes her head. “He is going to do something dangerous, and I’m worried about him.”

“Wait, what is this about a soldier?” Avery chimes in from her place on the couch. Amber has finally taken a seat next to her and swung her legs onto her lap.

“I signed up for a pen pal program for single soldiers. I’ve been writing with one through email and letters for the past few months. He just sent me an email telling me he was going on a mission, and I wouldn’t hear from him for a couple of days.” I take a deep breath before I continue. “He is a Navy SEAL, I can tell that I am starting to have feelings for him. What happens when something happens? I can’t go through something like that again.” I’ve told all of them about Trent and what happened. I’m sure they all understand what I am feeling right now, especially with their men being SEALs as well.

“What do you mean ‘when,’ don’t you mean ‘if’? That pessimistic attitude has no place here. Take it from someone who’s world has been shot before,” Amber says as a tear trickles down her cheek.

“We had no idea if he was going to die or not. We just got on a plane and went. That’s what you do. Shit, Danny was in a motorcycle accident and in a coma, had nothing to do with being a SEAL. We never know how we are going to go, so why stop living because we are scared?” Avery says.

“I was kidnapped and almost killed, but Jimmy and the team rescued me. I can’t even imagine how they all felt while they were searching for me, my brother included. I will never stop living life to the fullest because one asshole tried to end my life,” Emma says with conviction.

I stand to my full height, and Olivia wraps her arms around my leg, “Ba’man protects him, Momma. No worry.” I reach down and run my finger through her blonde hair.

“That’s right. If he’s a SEAL, he is over there with my brother’s team. Justin will make sure he comes home in one piece, I’m sure of it.”

“Wait, your brother’s name is Justin?” I ask as my heart begins to pound in my chest. This cannot be possible. Just too much of a coincidence, or maybe something else has been at work.

“Yea, Lieutenant Justin McMillion. Why?”

“Holy Fucking Shit!” I shout as I pull my phone out and dial the hospital. “Sorry Cynthia, Olivia just got sick again. I can’t bring her to the sitter’s house while she is throwing up. If I can keep her fever down and she doesn’t throw up again, I promise I will be in first thing in the morning, bright and early. I can work a double and stay all day. Would that help?” I hold my breath, waiting to see if I just lost my job.

“Sure thing, Becca. I knew calling you when your little girl was sick would be a long shot. Just text or call in the morning and let me know how things work out. I hope she feels better soon.”

“Thanks again, Cynthia,” I say before hanging up.

All three ladies are looking at me like I have three heads. I can’t believe that I never noticed any of this before. For being the mother of a toddler and a nurse, I’m not very aware of my surroundings when it comes to myself.

I go back to my email and open the attachment. Just as I suspected, a picture of the entire team is attached. Flipping my phone around for everyone to see, Avery is the first to notice. “Emma, why the hell does Becca have a picture of our men on her phone?”

“How the hell should I know? Do you care to share with the class?” Emma turns to me with hands on her hips.

I bring the phone down to Livie’s level and ask, “Baby, do you see anyone you know in this picture?”

She takes the phone in her little hands, examining every person in the photo very carefully. Pointing to the tall man in the center, with jet black hair. “Right there, Momma! That Ba’man!”

“You see, ladies, the man I have been writing to is Lieutenant Justin McMillion.”

“Well I’ll be damned, things just got very interesting. Pull up a chair girlfriend, we have much to discuss,” Emma says as she flops down on the floor in front of the twins, pulling Olivia into her lap.

Although this is not what I planned on doing tonight, I couldn’t imagine a better place to be. I wanted to know more about Justin and what made him tick, who better to tell me than his baby sister and his best friend’s ladies.