Chapter Twelve
Mia
Helga waved at me from across the restaurant. It wasn’t like I hadn’t noticed her sitting next to the window wearing the massive black sunglasses that told everyone she was someone important. I gave a slight wave and weaved my way through the tables to make my way to her.
“Good morning, Helga. You look fabulous this morning. New?” I asked, taking in her glitzy green jacket.
She smiled. “Yes. I promised Karen I would wear it. You know, free publicity and all that,” she said, waving her hand as if it was a chore to wear designer clothing.
I sat down at the table and nodded my head, pretending to understand her plight. “I think it’s very nice. Is it the fall line? I don’t remember seeing that.”
She shook her head. “Couture.”
“Oh, I see.”
“Would it be bad if I ordered a mimosa?”
I giggled. “You’re the boss. You can do anything you want.”
She sighed. “I wish I could, but I better not. I’m sure I’m supposed to set a good example and all that nonsense. So, tell me, how have you been? Your mom told me you have a new man in your life.”
Leave it to my mother. “I don’t know that he’s really in my life.”
“Oh, I hear a story. Tell me everything!” she squealed.
Now I needed a mimosa. “It’s really no big deal, Helga.”
She shook her head. “Nope. It is. Please tell me.”
I drew in a long breath and told her the short version of my story. She was smiling and nodding as I spoke.
“That’s it? You haven’t seen him?”
“No. I really think he’s just playing games. Nothing will come of it.”
She looked at me as if she could see into my soul. “I think something will come of it, and I think you want it to.”
“No! I don’t. I can’t. I mean, it’s silly. It’s a joke.”
“What if it isn’t? Can you imagine? A real marriage pact. Here I thought those things had become out of fashion.”
I laughed. “They are out of fashion because they rarely work. We don’t have to marry to save our country.”
She shrugged a dainty shoulder. “I think it’s romantic. Is he handsome?”
“He used to be. I haven’t actually seen him for eleven years.”
“You haven’t looked him up? Come on, you have to have Facebook stalked him a little,” she teased.
I blushed. “I’ll admit I used to.”
“But you haven’t recently?”
“Honestly, I haven’t even thought about him until he called me completely out of the blue.”
She nodded. I could tell she wanted to say something.
“What?” I asked. “I know you have an opinion. Please, tell me. I could use all the advice I can get.”
“In that case,” she said with a huge smile, “I think you need to give this a chance. I can tell you used to love him, and those feelings seem to be rising to the surface.”
I shook my head. “I don’t think I can trust him.”
“That’s always the risk. That’s what makes love so special. When you take a risk, you gain great rewards. Love lost and all that bullshit,” she said in a whisper.
I giggled at her cursing. Helga was usually very ladylike. It was part of her image. When she slipped up, it was always funny.
“I don’t know if I want the risk. You can’t go back. I’m not the same girl, and I know he isn’t the same. At least I hope he isn’t. Our more mature, adult selves may not get along quite as well as our younger, more carefree selves.”
“Or you might.”
I smiled. “Yes, there’s that. I’m not going to worry about it. It’s all a lot of harmless flirting. He has a busy career on the West Coast. I have a busy career here. Neither one of us is going to pick up and move our lives. But I’ll admit it’s kind of nice to have someone who at least pretends to want me.”
“I bet it is. This is that fun part of a relationship, the early beginning where everything is fresh and new and you can really enjoy it all. I love young love,” she said wistfully.
I wasn’t sure that was what it was, but I could admit the idea of young love and a new relationship was exciting. I had to guard my heart, but that was easy to do when I didn’t have to worry about ever seeing him. I could flirt and tease via text messaging and relaxed about it all. If he were to show up, though, things would be very different.
“We’ll see. This is all a lot of harmless flirting right now,” I told her.
She wasn’t listening or didn’t care to. “When he shows up, I have to meet him. He sounds like a lovely man.”
“I don’t know if he is. That’s the problem!” I stressed. “He was great a long time ago, but what if he’s become some kind of womanizer and he’s bored so he’s coming back to old conquests?”
“He’s not,” she said with all the confidence in the world.
I nodded. “I’m glad you are convinced. It’s going to take me a little longer.”
She smiled, and we got back to our breakfast. I loved our breakfasts together. It didn’t happen often. Helga was a busy woman, but she was my mentor and someone I could talk to. No matter how busy she was, she always made time for me. She was one of my few friends. It was then I realized I had really shut down after Brad left. My mother and Helga were my two closest friends. I didn’t really hang out with anyone my own age. Even the dates I accepted tended to be with older men.
I silently groaned. I needed some fun and excitement in my life. That was probably why I had welcomed Brad’s recent attention. I had to get out there. Life was passing me by.
By the time we go to the office, my mind had conjured up all these different ideas of who Brad was and what he looked like now. Maybe he’d let himself go and had gotten a little plump. The guy had always been so health-conscious; it would be understandable if he relaxed a bit and enjoyed all the good stuff life had to offer, like ice cream.
I shut my office door, wanting privacy to do a little internet stalking. I had to know. I had denied myself for too long. Every time I caught myself thinking about him and longing to look him up, I would do something else. It had been painful to see those eyes looking back at me. Now I knew I wouldn’t feel that familiar pain. I wanted to see how he had changed.
I quickly typed his name into the search bar, along with his show’s name, and was rewarded with a page filled with articles and images of the man I used to love. I took a deep breath and clicked on one of the most recent articles. It was a grand opening of some sort.
There he was! My heart skipped a beat as I looked at the slightly older version of the Brad I had known way back when. He looked the same. His hair was shorter, the curls barely noticeable, but it was still blond. His arms were toned, and his skin was tan. The dark skin made his eyes look even bluer than I remembered. I smiled at the man looking at an elderly woman and grinning. I imagined he was probably flirting with her. He flirted with everyone and especially loved to dote on the older ladies.
I read several articles about his show. His success was fairly recent. It was only the last couple years that he had become syndicated. Each time I opened a new article, there was a different picture of him. There were signs of a few wrinkles around his eyes and a more mature, defined face.
I groaned. If the man truly did show up in New York, there was no way I could reject him easily. He was gorgeous. If the man sending the texts was really the man in the pictures, I was screwed. I was going to lose my heart again. That terrified me.
I drifted out of my office and headed into Helga’s.
“What’s the matter?” she said, peering up at me over the top of her glasses from her position behind her desk.
“I looked him up,” I groaned.
She grinned. “And?”
“And he is going to stomp all over my heart if I let him.”
“Ooh, that good looking,” she said with a dangerous smile. “I have to see this man. Let an old woman live vicariously through you.”
“Yes, very good looking, and I’m sure he knows it. He knew it when he was younger and I’m sure the women pawing all over him have reminded him quite often,” I snarked, feeling a little jealous of the women who were likely drooling over him right now.
It was only seven over there. He was probably in bed with a woman at that very moment. My blood heated with jealousy, making me feel like screaming and smashing something.
“I can’t wait to meet him,” Helga said, pulling me back from my internal jealous tirade.
I shook my head. “He can’t come here. He just can’t. How can I reject him and keep my heart safe if he’s here? Those eyes,” I mumbled.
She was nodding her head. “You still love him.”
“How can I know that? I don’t even know him.”
“You do. Your heart does and your body does. Tell your brain to sit down and shut up and have some fun with a handsome young man,” she lectured.
I wanted to remind her that he wasn’t exactly young and neither was I, but Helga was pushing sixty. I imagined in her eyes we were young, just like I looked back and realized twenty-four was young.
“Thanks. I still think the best thing would be for him to just not come out here. I can’t handle seeing him.”
“You’ll handle it fine. Let your heart lead you. If you realize he’s not the man you want, he goes home and you go back to your life. No harm, no foul. You have to try.”
I let out a long sigh. She was telling me the same thing my mother had. I had a feeling the two of them were colluding.
“All right. I’m worrying about something that may never happen. I better get to work. I can’t sit around and wonder if he will or won’t. I will not let myself do that for any man,” I said, feeling more resolved than ever. “Thanks, Helga.”
I left the office and heard her snickering behind me. She was getting a kick out of all this. I was glad she was, because I sure wasn’t. I went back to my office and picked up my phone. I had only gotten a couple messages from him this morning and wondered if he was already losing interest. He had spoiled me with a barrage of messages every morning for the past week, wishing me a good day, telling me how sexy I was, and, of course, promising to do certain things to my body.
Flopping into my chair, I held my phone as I spun around to stare out the window. I sent him a short message admitting to the stalking and then put away my phone. I had to focus on my work. I was not going to let him distract me.
My phone beeped and I smiled. He was still there.