Allowing myself a few seconds, I grab my glass and swallow down a huge mouthful of wine. I feel Nic’s eyes on me the entire time. I may have told her over and over again that Liam and I were just friends, but she’s not stupid; she can see what was between us.

When my need to see him becomes too much to take, I look over my shoulder. I find him immediately. He’s wearing a dark pair of jeans and a white shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His dark brown hair is exactly as I remember, a styled mess and curling over his collar; it’s the perfect length to run your fingers through.

He must feel my stare because it’s only two seconds before his head begins to move. It’s like time stands still as he turns my way. Our eyes connect and hold as we stare at each other. The air between us crackles, and if I wasn’t already sitting, I’m pretty sure my knees would have given way.

Everything and everyone around me fades away. The noise disintegrates and it’s as if we’re the only two people in the room. My fingers wrap around the edge of the stool as I fight to stay put. The temptation to walk straight up to him is too much. My reaction to him shouldn’t be this strong. I haven’t seen him for weeks. I barely know him. I’ve got a boyfriend. All these thoughts fly through my head but none of them really register.

I’ve no idea how much time passes but, eventually, someone grasps Liam’s shoulder and he’s forced to break our connection.

Coldness engulfs me when his eyes leave me. Releasing my white-knuckle grip on the stool, I wrap my arms around my middle as I try to pull myself back together.

When I chance a glance up, Nic’s looking at me with her eyebrow raised. “What the hell was that?”

Shaking my head, I grab my wine glass once again and drain it. I think I’m going to need a few more of these if I’m going to make it through tonight.

“What are you doing?” she asks and, for the millionth time in the past few weeks, I try to shrug her off. I thought I knew what I was doing when I left this place. I was determined to give what I have—had—with David another shot, but things are worse than ever in Cardiff, and this place—and him—are so damn tempting.

Shaking the thoughts from my head, I give the answer that I always fall back on. “I’m doing what’s right. David needs me. He’s going through some shit. I can’t leave him like he is.”

“I understand that, Liv, I really do. But you’re miserable. I get that you want to make things better for him, but really, how much good are you doing?”

“I…uh…I need food,” I say, totally bailing on the conversation. Nicole knows exactly what I’m doing, but she allows me the escape I need. For now, anyway. I know she’s only after what’s best for me, but constantly explaining my decision to go back is exhausting. It also doesn’t help that every time I repeat it, I feel myself drowning even more in my own bullshit.

I keep my eye on Liam on the other side of the room. I expected him to come back over, but the guys he’s with seem to have kept him distracted. I’m not sure how I feel about that.

Nicole continues filling me in on all her recent wedding plans while a couple of the guys butcher a Jay Z song up on the stage. I know that Nicole loves to sing, but it’s a shame that everyone else who feels the need to get up on stage doesn’t have even an ounce of her talent.

“It’s just going to be small. I’m not sure I could cope with anything big like Molly and Ryan. I’d love to do it here, on the beach, but Dec’s not sure we’ll be able to—” Nicole continues as the song thankfully comes to an end and a calmness descends around the room.

Something tells me to look over my shoulder, and when I do, my mouth drops open at the sight of Liam stood in front of the microphone, his eyes locked on me. What the fuck is he about to do?

I zone Nicole out as we continue to stare at each other. My grip on my wine glass tightens to the point I think it’s going to shatter under my fingers.

“Hurry up, bro,” BJ shouts as Liam continues to stand, stock still.

Eventually, he moves, but the second he’s started the music, his eyes are back on me. The first beat is like a baseball bat to the chest. I immediately know what song it is, and he couldn’t have picked a worse one. Every single time I hear it, he’s the only thing I see. I know the words he’s about to sing are probably true, but I’m too scared to take the plunge. Too scared to do what I need to do. Too scared to be happy after all this time.

When the first line of ‘Treat You Better’ by Shawn Mendes falls from his lips, I’m retreating. I’ve no idea if Nicole is still talking to me because, other than Liam’s voice, the only thing I can hear is white noise as my panic washes through me.

I crash into something or someone behind me. Thankfully, I find my footing before I tumble to the floor. Nic’s warm hand landing on my arm briefly distracts me, but the second I hear more words from Liam, I know I need to get out of here.

“Liv…Liv?” I hear her calling, but it’s like she’s a million miles away. I can’t focus on her. The only thought in my mind is that I need to escape. Away from him. I thought this place was going to give me the peace I needed, but the look in his eyes as he sang those words has me almost as scared as when I’m at home. Only, my fear is for a very different reason.

I don’t notice the cool air on my exposed skin as I race from the shack. I don’t think about my actions or that everyone is probably watching. I just know I need to get away.

I come to a stop by some wooden sea breakers and fall onto the sand. Pulling my knees up to my chest, I look out to sea as I try to breathe through the adrenaline racing through my body.

I knew coming here was a bad idea. There was a reason I left without telling him, and I’ve refused to allow myself to have any communication with him all these weeks. I convinced myself that it was all in my head. That we didn’t have the connection I thought we did. But I’ve just been reminded in front of all those people that it is very real.

My hands tremble as the cool evening air races across my neck, making me shiver. The silence stretches on and on, and I almost feel like I’m back on level footing once again, considering what to do next, when I hear footsteps.

Holding my breath, I wait for the inevitable.

“I’m sorry, Liv. I…I didn’t mean…” He trails off, clearly not expecting me to stay silent. “Please, say something.”

The desperate edge to his voice has me turning toward him. He’s staring down at me, his shoulders sagged in defeat, and his hands are shoved deep in his pockets. I immediately feel bad. I don’t want to hurt him. No one else deserves to be dragged into my bullshit life.

“Liam,” I breathe, but my voice cracks, and from the softening of his eyes, I know he hasn’t missed it. “I…I can’t do this,” I whisper. He must decide to ignore it because, before I’ve finished talking, he drags me from the floor and wraps me in his arms.

My body shudders as I try to contain my sobs. Having his large, hard body pressed up against mine feels so good. Just being held feels too good.

“No.”

For two seconds, everything is as it should be. Then, I feel her palms press against my chest and she forces me to take a step back.

She wraps her arms around herself as she stares back at me, her eyes as wide as saucers, fear pouring from them.

“What’s wrong?” I ask, stepping up to her, but all she does is retreat once again. “Liv?” I ask, my concern for her growing by the second.

“It’s nothing,” she whispers, so quietly that I almost miss it with the sound of crashing waves in the background.

“Bull. Shit,” I snap, probably a little too harshly, but I can’t help it when she’s cowering from me like a scared little puppy. “I’m sorry.” My voice is softer this time, and she relaxes slightly. “What do you need?”

I watch as she thinks for a few seconds. I’m not sure whether she’s hesitant to ask me for help or if she just has no idea what she really needs. Either way, I’m not leaving until I know she’s safe.

“I’m staying at Nic’s. Please could you take me there? I can’t…I can’t be here, not after that.”

Guilt engulfs me. I’ve caused this. Me and my stupid performance.

“Of course.” Reaching for her, I thread my fingers through hers and gently tug her towards me. I breathe out a sigh of relief when she doesn’t pull away. Instead, she allows me to pull her into my side. I wrap my arms around her shoulders and hold her as tightly as I can. Every inch of her is screaming that she needs comfort and needs to feel safe, and this is the only way I know how. Whatever the cause of that fear in her eyes, she doesn’t need to worry about it while she’s with me. I’ll never let anyone hurt her.

Huddled together, we walk back up towards the shack in silence. The party still seems to be going strong inside.

“I should tell Nic what’s happening.” Liv goes to pull away from me, but I refuse to lose her contact. I tell myself it’s for her, but I’d be fooling myself if I denied it was for my own benefit as well.

“Don’t worry. I’ll sort it. Let’s just get you back.” She’s trembling in my arms. I’ve no idea if it’s from the evening chill or whatever she’s trying to deal with. I need to get her inside, warm and safe, as soon as I can.

She stops as we near the car park. “My car,” she says, pointing to a little silver Ford.

Changing direction, I walk us towards the car and I’m just about to ask for the keys when I remember the shots of tequila I’ve consumed.

“We’re going to have to walk. Let’s get your stuff.”

I manage to hold her bags in one hand so I can still pull her to me with the other. I’m conflicted as we make our way. I desperately want to take her back to our house, but I have a suspicion she won’t be happy with that.

Glancing over at her, she looks miles away, totally defeated by life. A million and one questions are right on the end of my tongue. I swallow them down, knowing that now isn’t the time.

I almost change my mind and, when we get to the turning towards our house, I nearly take it. But another look at her, and I know I need to take her where she wants to be. Plus, chances are BJ will take the party back to ours later, and I think the last thing Liv needs is a house with chaos going on around her.

Stopping at Nicole’s front door, I turn to her. Our eyes meet, and I see relief filling them. When her lips twitch up in the slightest of smiles, a similar kind of relief washes through me. The Liv I can’t get out of my head from all those weeks ago is still in there.

Stepping up a little too close to her, my hand cups her cheek and my thumb presses into the hollow her slight smile has caused at the very edge of her mouth. “It’s okay,” I whisper as I stare into her tormented blue eyes. “Whatever it is, you’re safe here…with me. I won’t let—”

The warmth of her fingers pressing against my lips cuts my words off. “I’m okay.”

There isn’t a part of me that believes her, but I nod before dropping my hand and holding on to hers tightly.

“I haven’t got a key,” she admits when we make our way to the front door.

“I have,” I say.

She nods as I push the key into the lock before gesturing for her to go in ahead of me.

“Go sit,” I order as I drop her bags and walk straight into Nicole’s kitchen to find us both a drink.

When I reappear a few minutes later with a bottle of whiskey and two glasses, I expect her to look at least a little happy about it. It was what she drank a few weeks ago, after all, but the fear that had started to disappear from her eyes immediately slams back into them.

“No,” she says in a panic. “Anything but that.”

“Okay.” Turning, I walk back into the kitchen and pull the fridge open. Thankfully, I find a cooled bottle of wine, so after changing the glasses, I head back out to see if that’s okay.

She nods and watches my every move as I pour a glass and slide it over to her. She stares at it for a beat before flicking her eyes up to me, where I’m still stood with the bottle in my hand.

I can see the gratitude in her eyes, but it’s surrounded by so many other emotions that even if I thought I could ask, I wouldn’t even know where to start.

“Drink.”