CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

 

Rose

 

For the second time that week Ben had to meet Rose at work for her injection. Because he had basketball practice in the evenings unless he did it during the day, he wouldn’t have time to come by her place. And for the second time that week Lorenzo had been a witness to their sitting in her car as they talked afterwards. It was such a simple thing for Ben. He did it right there in the car—injected her in the thigh like nothing.

He kept telling her how easy it was, but she still couldn’t even bring herself to watch while he did it. She was, however, well aware that if this was something she’d be doing for the rest of her life, she was going to have to drudge up the nerve somehow to learn to do it herself. Ben wouldn’t be around forever.

Maybe once Grace was no longer pregnant and Rose could talk to her about it, Grace could do it for her. In the meantime Ben was more than willing but only when he had the time. So she had no choice but to work something out around his schedule.

She walked him to his car and kissed him on the cheek again. Waiting until he’d driven off, she started toward the back door of the restaurant. Only then did she notice Lorenzo was standing there watching her. Already feeling tense as she approached him, she wondered how long he’d been standing there.

“I’m assuming you do a lot more for him in that car than you do outside of it.” His expression was somewhere between smirking and disgust; she couldn’t tell which.

Rose swallowed hard. She had to remember just how close Lorenzo paid attention to details. “Nope, I’m just not one for public displays of affection.” She shrugged. “I’m shy that way.”

“Shy my ass.” He chuckled. “I seem to recall you not having a problem sucking face with my brother quite a few times when I was around the two of you.”

Feeling her face instantly warm, Rose focused on staying composed. “Yeah, well we never did in front of Sal and Grace. I won’t with Ben either, so the parking lot of their restaurant is off limits to any sucking face.”

Lorenzo smirked, and if she didn’t know any better he might even be on to her. He certainly took notes of everything he heard and saw. “Is this your lunch or were you just on a break?”

“I’m off actually,” Rose said glad for the change in subject.

“Good, I wanted to talk to you.”

Suddenly wishing she’d said she was on a break, Rose thought fast to try and get out of it. “I don’t have a lot of time. I—”

“I don’t need a lot of time. There’s just a couple of things I’ve been wanting to say to you for a long time.”

Rose stared at him, almost afraid to hear what he had to say. She couldn’t take any more heartache involving Vincent.

“I wanna apologize.”

This was not what she was expecting to hear. “Apologize?”

“Please let me finish,” he said, the mysterious smirk now replaced with a somber stare. “I know Vince explained everything, and obviously it didn’t make a difference to you, but I need you to know how sorry I am. It was entirely my fault Vince had to go away.”

“What?” Rose was missing something here, but the feeling of dread slowly crept in.

“I know you must think Vince chose me or Anita over you, but if you knew how Vince thinks, you’d know for him there was never a choice to be made. To him it was a given.”

Rose stared at him. “What are you talking about?” The dread was an all-out panic now. Had she made the terrible mistake this was beginning to sound like? “Your fault?”

“Yeah, I’m the one who was doing the dealing, not him. But he didn’t choose to take the blame and leave you. He had to. Obviously that makes no difference to you.”

“Wait.” She lifted her hand shaking her head. “Back up,” she brought her hand to her chest as she made sense of his words. “I never read his letters.”

“What? You didn’t?” The somber stare was gone. He looked disgusted again. “None of them? He wrote you all the time.”

“I read the first few, but he never told me any of this. He never explained anything. Just said he was sorry but offered no explanation at all.”

“That’s because he couldn’t tell you, but he did later. You didn’t read those?”

She shook her head a mixture of relief and sorrow overcoming her. Standing frozen in place as Lorenzo explained to her about Anita and her father and how Vince didn’t want to ruin her chances of getting custody of her brothers, the air in her lungs began to drain. He explained why it was so important to him that she and her brothers got out of that hell, so he couldn’t say anything until she was all settled.

“But he did write and explained it all about six months ago.”

“I never read it.” Her heart felt like it was being squeezed. “After the first few I couldn’t. It was too painful.”

Lorenzo’s eyes were as wide as hers felt. “So all this time—”

“I thought he’d gone back to dealing,” Rose felt a weight lift as another pushed it back onto her conscience, and once again she was choked up. “I thought maybe he’d been doing it the whole time.”

Lorenzo stared at her, the incredulous expression on his face making her feel that much worse. “But now you know he wasn’t.” He touched her arm. “Are you still in love with him?”

She nodded, feeling the tears already begin to fill her eyes. Could it really be true? Vincent had really stayed true to his word? She’d had it all wrong this whole time?

“You have to tell him?” Lorenzo urged.

Finally snapping out of her daze her eyes were on Lorenzo. “What? How?”

“Write him. He was devastated when I told him, Rose.” His eyes looked up behind her into the empty parking lot. “When I told him you had a boyfriend. You’re not gonna stay with this guy now, are you?”

She shook her head. “I was never really with him to begin with.”

Lorenzo’s face suddenly soured. “What? You don’t have to lie—”

“No, I’m not lying. I was lying when I said I was with him.”

Lorenzo’s face was still contorted, and he rolled his eyes.

“It’s why we don’t kiss, okay?” She felt stupid admitting it, but it was better to admit this now than have Vincent think she’d actually moved on, and with Ben of all people. “Grace was worried about me being depressed, so I made the whole relationship thing with him up. He went along with it because he’s my friend. But I’ve never gotten over Vincent.”

“So this guy comes down here and parks with you every chance he can, and all you two do in there is talk? That’s bullshit.”

“It’s true.” Rose insisted.

“I’ve seen the way the asshole looks at you, Rose.”

“He’s just my friend.” Rose’s mind was racing now; she had to write back to Vincent. She had to tell him she understood now and forgave him completely.

“Are you planning on telling my brother about your friend, Rose? Because I’ll tell you right now he’s not gonna like it. He didn’t like this guy back then, and he sure as hell’s not gonna like knowing he comes down to visit you at work, and you two go out and sit in your car, and do God knows what for as long as you do.”

“I’ll talk to Ben. It’ll stop.”

“I’m here for another week,” Lorenzo’s eyes were menacing, “maybe more. I can talk to Ben for you if you want me to.”

“No,” Rose said firmly. “I’ll talk to him, and I’ll write Vincent tonight.”

Lorenzo seemed somewhat satisfied, but Rose wasn’t. They stood out there while she continued to interrogate him, getting every detail of why exactly Vincent had agreed to leave and all that Lorenzo had told him so far about her and her boyfriend. One small relief was that Lorenzo said Vincent didn’t know it was Ben yet.

“I didn’t see the point in telling him. He was already devastated enough.”

“Please don’t tell him.” His face soured again. “I swear to you. I’ve never done anything with Ben. We’ve always been just friends. I’ll tell him but when he gets back. I promise. When I get a chance to see him in person, I’ll explain everything. He wouldn’t understand otherwise. I’d have to explain it to him myself.” An incredible feeling of hope and delight began to slowly encompass her. “Is there any other way I can talk to him sooner?”

Lorenzo shook his head frowning. “He’s in Iraq out in the field. The only way is writing a letter. I wrote him one about a week ago, but I haven’t heard anything back yet.”

Once Rose felt satisfied not just that she knew enough but that Lorenzo was through dealing as well, she headed home, skipping her evening classes. She had so much to say to Vincent she’d probably write all night.

“Vincent didn’t do it!” was the first thing she said to Grace as she rushed into the kitchen.

“What?” Grace looked up from where she sat feeding the baby.

“It was Lorenzo, not Vincent. Vincent just covered for him. Oh my God!” Rose clenched her chest smiling. “I don’t care how long I have to wait, Grace. I’ll wait the four years. I’ll wait ten if I have to! I don’t care! I don’t care!” She hugged Grace smacking a kiss loudly on the top of her head. Grace laughed, and Rose knew she couldn’t possibly understand.

“What about Ben?” Grace asked.

“I’ll explain it all later.” Grabbing a pear from the fruit basket on the counter, Rose dug her teeth into it and spun around. “Right now I have a letter to write.”

 

~*~

 

A couple of days later still walking on air, Rose answered her phone just as she drove in to work her shift at the restaurant. She’d written Vincent a ten-page letter explaining everything she’d gone through in the past year and how she’d made the whole boyfriend thing up to get Grace off her back. She also made sure she told him she loved him over and over again and that she’d wait for him as long as she had to. After the year she had, she knew now without a doubt she’d much rather deal with waiting and know she’d be with him again someday, than attempt to live life without him forever. That she obviously couldn’t deal with.

“Hey, Ben,” she said as she finished parking.

“Hey, Rose. Listen I’m gonna be gone all next week. I’m going hunting up north with my old man and my brother.”

Rose bit her lip. Shit. “Okay.”

“I was thinking I could just stop by Sunday to give you the shot because it’s the day before I leave, and I figured I could give you the next one Saturday when I get back, but I just found out my uncle’s coming too, and I gotta go pick him up this weekend.”

Rose sighed. “That’s okay. I can figure something out.”

“But I can come by today if you want. This way next week you’ll just have to go into the clinic one day. It’ll save you some time right? You said they take forever.”

Relieved that today was Lorenzo’s day off, she agreed quickly. “Yes, that would be great, if it’s not too much trouble.”

“No, not at all. Does a half hour from now work for you?”

“That’s perfect.”

Rose was gonna have to do something about this. She couldn’t be counting on Ben to do this for long. He said he didn’t mind and felt even more confident about his ability to give injections now, but something had to give. Grace had one more month to go before she had the baby. Rose could do this for one more month without having to worry Grace unnecessarily, and then she’d have to fess up. Especially because she knew Vincent would most certainly have an issue with this.

She’d only been waiting tables for about fifteen minutes when Lorenzo walked in wearing his restaurant polo. What?

Putting her order in quickly, she hurried to the back and reread the schedules. She distinctly heard him say today was his day off. She didn’t even care anymore that he’d volunteered to work a few more weeks at this restaurant. He always had something new to share with her about Vincent that she’d missed out on this past year. In fact now that she knew the truth, she liked having him around, but not today. Maybe he was just here to pick up something. The schedule confirmed he wasn’t supposed to be there today. He walked in just as she was getting ready to walk out.

“Hey.”

“Hey,” she smiled nervously, “I thought you were off today.”

“I was.” He smiled, walking past her. “But Sal called from the doctor’s office. Seems your sister is having early contractions. The docs are trying to stop them. He’s gonna be there most of the day, and someone called in so I get extra hours this week.”

“What?” Forgetting about everything else Rose pulled her phone out. “Why didn’t anybody tell me?” Grace said her appointment this morning was routine. Just then she noticed the missed call she had from Sal and a voicemail. The time the call came in was just before her shift started. He must’ve called while she was on the line with Ben, and it went straight to voicemail. “Stupid phone.”

“He didn’t sound worried, Rose,” Lorenzo tried to assure her. “He said Grace didn’t even realize she was contracting until the doctor told her she was.”

Rose glanced back at Lorenzo as she listened to Sal’s voicemail.

“Rose just so you know, Grace is fine. The doctor is not even sending her to the hospital. He just wants to monitor here for a little longer. She’s fine, the baby’s fine, the only thing she’s worried about is you. No freaking out okay? We should be home a little later. Angel is gonna stop by to close up the restaurant for me. Don’t worry; I’ll keep you updated.”

Feeling an enormous relief she hung up. Just as she did, she heard Angel’s voice out front, and it was getting closer. Lorenzo was still getting his apron on when Angel walked into the back room. “Hey, Enzo are you just getting here, too?”

“Yep, just got the call about twenty minutes ago.”

“Good. This place gets busy on Fridays,” he turned to Rose with that dimpled smile that always made her smile big and goofy. “Your boyfriend’s out in the parking lot.”

That wiped the silly smile off her face in an instant. She glanced at Lorenzo whose own expression had gone hard.

With no time to explain she thanked Angel for letting her know, grabbed her purse, and rushed out without looking at Lorenzo again. She was almost at the front door when she heard Lorenzo’s voice just behind her. “Why’s he here?”

She turned to face him. “I asked him to come.”

“Why?”

“I told you I was going to talk to him.”

Lorenzo peered at her suspiciously. “You also said he wasn’t your boyfriend. Why couldn’t you just text him that he doesn’t have to play the part anymore? Or was he really your boyfriend and you’re actually breaking up with him now?”

Good Lord. Rose couldn’t decide which was worse. Having to have this conversation with Lorenzo now or having to have it later with Vincent.

Looking over Vincent’s shoulder, she saw Angel walk out of the back room and look their way. “He’s not my boyfriend,” she said lowering her voice. “He never was, but he is my friend.”

“So what?” Lorenzo didn’t follow her lead of lowering his voice. Frustratingly he did just the opposite and raised his. “You’re gonna go out there and sit in his car with him again? And you really expect me to keep this from Vince?”

“I have to,” she said, noticing that Angel was watching them.

“What?” He spat out the question. “What do you mean you have to?”

Grabbing his hand and smiling at Angel, she pulled him outside with her. “Look, it’s long and too complicated to explain right now. He’s not just here to visit. He’s doing me a favor. I can’t get into the details with you, but I promise you nothing is going on between me and him.”

Lorenzo shook his head. He was as stubborn as Vincent had described him. “I don’t care what kind of favor he’s doing you. I know Vince wouldn’t be cool with this shit. He hates this guy, and here he is showing up all the time to see you? Nope.” He shook his head glaring at Ben’s car. “I should be hearing from Vince any day now, and when he asks,” Lorenzo stopped, bringing his piercing eyes back to her taking her breath away much like his brother always did with the almost identical stare, “and he always asks if I’ve heard anything else about you. I’m gonna have to tell him.”

No! It was already going to be hard enough to explain Ben to Vincent without him hearing about all his visits first. Taking a deep breath she glanced over at Ben’s car. What to do? “I’m sick, Lorenzo, okay? Nobody knows but Ben, and I only told him because I need someone to give me injections twice a week, and he’s pre-med so he’s trained on that.”

She saw the glare soften a bit and the concern set in. “You’re sick? What’s wrong with you?”

“Pernicious Anemia. I have a vitamin deficiency that lowers my red blood cell count, and I need to be injected with Vitamin B12 twice a week. Pills won’t help.” She turned back to Ben’s car. “That’s why he comes twice a week.”

“Is it…” He ran his fingers through his hair. “Is it terminal?”

“No.” She shook her head. “Well, from what I’ve read online, it could lead to other stuff that would be terminal, but I think they caught mine in time.”

This time Lorenzo glanced in Ben’s direction. “So why don’t you just inject yourself. Why does he have to do it?”

“Because I’m squeamish and I can’t.” She frowned. “I’m gonna have to learn because I think this is forever, and I can’t be counting on him for that long, but for now…”

“And there’s no one else that can do it?” The concern was gone now as he raised an eyebrow.

“I haven’t told anyone else. I don’t want to worry Grace in her condition.” Glancing back at Ben’s car anxiously, she wished now that she’d explained, Lorenzo would just go inside already. She didn’t want to make Ben wait all day. “I gotta go. He’s waiting for me.”

She took a step away from Lorenzo but slowed when she realized he was walking with her. “Tell him to go. I can do it.”

She stopped and looked at him. He was even worse than Vincent had described him. He was outrageous. “What? You’re gonna do it?”

“Yep, my grandpa was diabetic. Me and Vince used to watch him shoot up his insulin all the time. He even let us a do it a few times. No big deal. I’ll do it until you let everyone in on this. Then someone else can take over like your mom or Grace, not some dude.”

“Just like that?” she lifted her shoulder letting it drop just as fast. “I’m just supposed to let you inject me.”

“Why not? You let him!” He pointed at Ben’s car.

Rose reached out and tapped his arm so he’d drop it and stop pointing. “He is pre-med.”

“Pre-med my ass. My grandpa didn’t even make it through grade school, and he shot up like nobody’s business. Crack heads do it all the time. I take it you’re not even aiming for any veins with this right? I’m telling you I can do this.”

Knowing Ben had already sat there waiting for her for a while and seeing Lorenzo’s unrelenting attitude about this whole thing, Rose could see she had no choice but to agree.

Exhaling exaggeratingly loud she gave in. “Okay, I’ll tell him.”

She started toward Ben’s car until she realized Lorenzo was coming with her, so she stopped. “Alone.”

Lorenzo frowned but finally let up taking a few steps back toward the restaurant’s front door. She didn’t look back to see if he was watching her. She didn’t have to. She had no doubt he was watching and making note of even the smallest details.