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Michael
S he looks like a million dollars. A million literal dollars in this case. Brianna’s here because I offered her something she couldn’t refuse. Money.
But I don’t think that’s why she’s staying. She’s had the chance more than once to walk out. To leave without any consequences.
But she’s still here. More than that, she still wants me.
Although she might not want you after what you did with Chet.
I shove aside that thought. Chet needed to be dealt with, so I did. Yeah, I bothered him at work, but it was where he was when I needed to talk to him. It wasn’t even anything huge—I basically just told him to back off. Forcefully. With a small threat. But that’s it.
He deserved it
But now it’s dealt with and I can focus on Brianna and our night.
The long slit in her dress shows plenty of leg as I help her from the limousine. After our session in the bedroom—and out of it—this evening, I’m more relaxed than I’ve been all week. It’s just what I need to be able to put the mess with Chet out of my mind and wind down.
With the woman I’m falling in love with.
I’d almost told her. Back at home, in the glow of after-sex, I’d almost said the words.
But then I’d balked. Not only had I never told a woman I loved her before, but those words meant…what? I’m committed to Brianna? She’s part of me and I’m part of her?
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not the committed part that scares me. It’s the things I’m not telling her. It’s what she might expect of me if I say those words.
Brianna sets her hand on my cheek. “What’s wrong?”
I straighten out my smile, making sure it’s convincing. “Nothing. Just thinking.”
“About what?”
I turn, taking her hand and guiding her into the hotel. “You. And how amazing you are.”
She flashes a grin that helps relieve some of my worry. She says “thank you” to the bell hop as we step inside the front doors of the hotel. “We’re eating dinner here?”
I nod. “Their restaurant is one of my favorites, and the view is amazing.”
She breaks eye contact and examines her surroundings as I guide her through the lobby, past a dark, quiet bar, and to the restaurant entrance. The hostess greats me by name and leads us directly to our table, an intimate one out on the patio.
Brianna stops before we reach the table. “You’re right. The view is amazing.”
Waves crash against the shore just beyond the patio. It’s a thirty-minute drive to get here, but the view, the night—Brianna—are all worth it.
I feel like we’ve already gone through a lot in our relationship, and I want to show her how much it means to me that she’s still here.
But nerves run through me. Because I also plan on telling her the truth, something that might change the rest of our relationship.
We sit close to each other, both facing the ocean so we can watch while we eat.
“I’ve never be here before,” Brianna murmurs as she peers through the menu. Her gaze keeps getting caught by the water.
“You want me to order for you? There are a few things I’d like you to try anyway, and I’ve sampled most of what’s on the menu.”
She closes her menu and nods. “Yes. Thanks.”
“Champagne?” I ask.
She smiles and touches my arm. “We really are celebrating.”
It’s those touches that kill me. Wait—who am I kidding? It’s everything about Brianna that hits me right in the gut and keeps me off-balance. It’s an amazing thing, and also one that makes me realize how I can’t keep being dishonest with her.
After the waitress takes our order and pours the champagne, I hold up my glass. “To three months,” I say.
She clicks her glass with mine, her smile nothing less than dazzling. “Three months,” she says before taking a sip. “It’s gone by so fast.”
It has. After that first little hiccup, it’s been a blur. We’ve spent so much time together and gotten to know each other and been there for each other. All the things I want from a true, healthy relationship. All the things I wish I could have, but might have to give up after tonight.
“How was the rest of your day?” she asks.
Another thing I don’t want to talk about. But that’s because of the thing with Chet. While there are a few topics I do want to discuss with Brianna, how I dealt with Chet isn’t one of them.
“Exhausting. I wish I could have stayed home with you today.”
She leans in to kiss my cheek. “I told you I’d come into the office. Liv was fine with that, too—”
“That’s not what I meant. I know you were willing to come in—it was just a busy day. Meetings the whole time, and I wanted you to be able to have your space and talk with Liv.”
It wasn’t just that. I’d had to deal with Chet, too. Which was why I asked if she’d rather stay at home today instead of coming into the office where we’d been working together for the last few weeks. I wanted her there, but I didn’t want the questions.
Now, everything with Chet is dealt with and things could go back to normal. Hopefully.
I link my fingers with hers. “I’d like it if you came back to the office on Monday.”
She smiles, and it makes guilt drop in my stomach. “I’d like that, too.”
When she finally turns away from the water, meeting my eyes, my stomach clenches. It’s now or never. But I just can’t bring myself to say the words out loud. And what if we’re on different pages about the whole topic? Then I’ll ruin the evening when there’s no point.
Better bring it up in a roundabout way.
“These last few months have been some of the best of my life,” I tell her.
Brianna’s fingers squeeze on mine. “Me too. Really. When this whole arrangement started, I never thought things would turn out like this. I thought…” She shrugs. “I don’t know what I thought. That maybe…”
She glances to the water again. I sense that she’s also holding something back, and now I’m wondering if she’s doing the same thing I am. Trying to say something she isn’t sure how to say. Something she thinks will change the dynamics of our relationship or maybe even ruin it altogether.
“What?” I ask. I bring her hand to my lips and kiss the knuckles. “Tell me.”
Her gaze comes back to mine. “I didn’t think this would work out, and I was prepared for it. I was prepared to put in my time.” She laughs and shakes her head. “I know that sounds terrible, but it was kind of like a job. I never expected I’d really like you. I never expected to…” She swallows. “To start to fall in love with you.”
Her words hit me right in the heart. Love. “Brianna.”
Her hand twitches in mine, like she’s ready to pull away. “I’m not—not expecting anything from you. Really. I’m just telling you the truth—”
“Wait.” I hold her hand tight so she can’t escape. “I’m processing. I didn’t expect this, but trust me. It isn’t a bad thing.”
In fact, I’d started to think the same thing. These feelings I have for her are serious and deep. Which is why I have to make sure we’re on the same page.
“I’m just saying,” she tells me, “I know it’s fast. And I know this isn’t what you signed up for. Love. So—so, like I said. I’m not expecting anything. In fact, I shouldn’t have said anything at all.”
I kiss her knuckles again. “Seriously? I want to know how you feel, and you don’t have to apologize for it. I stopped with the expectations weeks ago. Now I’m just enjoying myself. And to be honest, this is part of the reason why I wanted to get out tonight. So we’d have a chance to be alone and talk.”
“About us? About the future?”
I nod. “Yes. To…I don’t know, see what our expectations are. See if there can be anything more.”
“You mean like…like where to go after this?”
“Yes. What might happen if things keep going this direction. I know we still have nine months, but what if things progress?”
Her cheeks pale a little in the moonlight. I see that I’ve scared her. Shit. This isn’t how I wanted things to go. I just wanted to make sure she didn’t have one particular expectation of me that I couldn’t give.
“Damn it,” I murmur. “I’m not trying to make you uncomfortable. I’m just talking about regular everyday things other people talk about at the beginning of their relationships. Like, would they be willing to move for the other person or have they ever been married before or do they want kids.”
I study her face with the last words, seeing if she has any reaction.
“Oh.” Brianna seems to relax. “Well, you know I haven’t been married before and rest assured, I do want kids. Lots of them—okay, no, not lots. I mean I still want to have my job and everything…”
But as she continues on, I can’t hear a word of what she’s saying. She’s already told me enough, and told me what I expected. She wants kids. She loves kids.
And kids are one thing I can’t give her.