Chapter 9
Can a man get some privacy?
Colt
I'm sitting across from three people who are hell-bent on making this trip something I'll regret for the rest of my life. Surely they can sense I'm uncomfortable discussing my personal private issues with them.
Ty's doing everything in his power to keep from being his normal self, but I can see the jokes simmering in that screwed up brain of his. It's only a matter of time before my dilemma becomes the talk of the family.
I suspect most already know. It only takes one blabber mouth and it spreads like the plague.
I don't mean to be bitter about this. It's been going on for a while now and I haven't handled it well. Now my wife feels like I've been holding this secret from her because I didn't want her to know. At first I didn't. Try as I might, I couldn't bring myself to come clean.
Now I'm being forced to talk about it. I trust Ty and Miranda with my life, but they're nothing like Savanna and I.
They still frolic like teenagers. When I'm with my wife we make love. How can I do that if a part of me is broken?
"Have you tried everything?" Miranda inquires.
"Well, I haven't watched porn or picked up strippers if that's what you're asking."
"We could ride down to Pony and Tails Saloon. Topless Dancers every Saturday night." Ty winks at me as he says it like this some secret medicine for limp dick.
"Those girls are as old as my children. That's sick."
"Just pretend you're their age."
Miranda nudges him. "Stop. You just want a reason to go."
What comes out of my wife's mouth next is unbelievable. "We could all go, if you think it will help?"
Now I'm in a sour mood. My wife would never step foot in one of those establishments. "Hell no!"
"It could be fun," Ty suggests. "It's the atmosphere, bro. Aren't you willing to try anything?"
"I'm too old for that shit. The only woman I want to see is sitting here with me."
"Colt, don't think of it that way. There's nothing wrong with spicing things up." Miranda has been brainwashed by her nymphomaniac spouse.
"I said no. I'm not going to a topless show, and I sure as shit don't want my wife there."
"Strip poker then?" Ty offers with a deck of cards in his grasp.
Savanna stands up and holds out her hand. "Maybe we should call it a night? It's getting late and I can tell you're irritated."
"You're damn right I'm irritated. You're talking about my issue like it's public knowledge. Forgive me for wanting a little privacy when it comes to my dignity."
I stand up with my wife, but Ty does the same and stops us. "It's just a dick, man. It's on hiatus. The magic will return, if you just open yourself up to new experiences."
I'm shaking my head as I'm lead up the stairs. Before we enter into our room, I stop to call down to them. "Be a little more quiet tonight. Freaking animals."
Inside the quiet of our bedroom, Savanna begins to undress. She kicks off her pants and pulls her shirt over her head. Looking back at me in only a bra and panties, she motions with one finger for me to follow her into the bathroom. I waste no time following her lead, dropping my pants and ridding myself of my sweat shirt. In the bathroom she leans over the tub and starts to run the water. "Bubbles or no bubbles?"
"Darlin', I know you mean well, but I don't want you to get your hopes up."
She takes my hand and pulls me into an embrace. Her delicate hand grazes across my face as her eyes are locked on mine. "I feel like I've loved you my whole life. You were made for me, Colt Mitchell. If you think for one second that this would change things between us you're wrong. We've never needed that part of you to be happy." She lifts both of my hands and kisses them. "I need these to be able to touch me, to wrap around me, and hold my hand for no reason at all."
She drops them and brings her hand up to brush over my mouth. "I need this to kiss me and tell me you love unconditionally."
Lowering her body, she grips the elastic of my boxers and lowers them to the ground before running her hands up both of my legs. "I need these to walk alongside me and always be around."
When she stands, she draws her lips close to mine and brushes her hand through my hair. "I need this to always help me make smart decisions and guide us in our faith."
We kiss slowly, the embrace so intense we're left breathless when it ends. "You are my husband, my partner and God’s greatest gift to me. You're what makes me whole, Colt. I love every part of you whether it functions or not. You satisfy me in so many other ways."
A single tear falls from her eye. Bringing my thumb up, I brush it off her cheek. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry. Get in this tub and be the man I know you can be. Just love me, Colt. The rest doesn't matter."
It's hard for a man to feel broken. For the first time since this started, I don't feel incapable. For the first time in a while, I feel complete.
We're in the tub, surrounded by hot water, the skin on skin contact calms me. Every caress tells a past story of our love. Savanna is wedged between my legs, comfortable and relaxed. Her breasts float above water, urging me pay them attention. I knead my hands over them, her back arching as a relaxing moan escapes her. My lips trace kisses across the side of her neck as I take one hand and sink it into the water to touch my wife. Her arm comes up around my head and pulls me into a sultry kiss. Instead of worrying about what hasn't been working, I throw all of my focus into what is.
That's when the bathroom door cracks open. We should have locked our bedroom door. Ty's head pops in like he's in a crawling position. His eyes are close in case we're indecent. "Anything yet?"
It scares the bejesus out of us. Savanna sinks lower in the tub while I sit up and look for an object to throw his way. "Ty, what the hell? Get out of here."
"Well, it sounded like something was happening."
Instead of me lashing out, Savanna picks up the bar of soap and tosses it in his direction. It hits him square across the forehead. He immediately cries out. "You hit me!"
"You freaking pervert!"
"We just want to make sure you're okay. Operation Dick is important to all of us."
"You're like stalkers, voyeurs or something sicker. Operation Dick? That’s so wrong."
"It’s a good name, and it’s not like I watched you. I was trying to give Miranda an update. I’m an expert on sexual sounds. Just hoping to hear some magic happening so I wouldn't feel bad about shagging my wife later. She's cutting me off until the magic happens for you. Something about feeling guilty. It sucks. Whatever I can do to hurry this process up will be helping me."
"You're the epitomy of an expert, Ty. Go take your pity party to your own room. We don't need or want your help, perv!" Savanna's words put a smile on my face in the midst of feeling angry. My cock-block cousin might have ruined my chances, but the spunk of my wife makes it all worth it.
"You heard the lady."
"Man, fine. I'm rooting for you, Colt. Think big! If you build it, it will come."
Shaking my head, I close my eyes and wish for him to be gone. Then he is.
Savanna turns around and smirks. “Mood killer.”
“Sure is.”
Her arms wrap around the back of my neck. “Let’s pretend he never interrupted us.”
“We don’t have to try this now, darlin’. It’s different now that you know. For a while I was burdened with the secret. Now that I know I have your support it’s easier to live with.”
“It doesn’t hurt to try,” she suggests while coming in for a passionate kiss. As she pulls away my eyes lock onto hers. “Miranda gave me the name of Conner’s doctor he saw a while back. It wouldn’t hurt to get a second opinion out of town, where not so many people know who you are.”
I nod. “Maybe.”
“Until we exhaust every option, I want you to be open-minded. Be vicarious and try new things with me. Maybe it’s the repetitiveness of us that’s caused it.”
“That’s ridiculous. You’re always a new adventure.”
“I’m simply implying that maybe we’ve gotten a bit predictable. Perhaps tomorrow we could venture out to the waterfall and pretend we’re kids again. Remember the first time you brought me here? We skinny dipped in the freezing cold water.”
I brush my hand through her long locks. “And you came onto the back deck in nothing but a cowboy hat.”
“I’ve never felt so wanted before. This place holds beautiful memories of us.”
“You’re right about that. Maybe if we were alone it would help.”
Savanna starts to stand up abruptly. I watch her wet, naked body, straighten as she calls out to our companions. “We think it might help if we were alone. Colt needs to focus.”
Taking her hand, I pull her down in the warm water as we both laugh together. “Do you think it’ll work?”
“Hell no, but they’ll at least feel guilty about interrupting us.”
My brow raises. “I doubt it. We’re talking about Ty. He’s the definition of a dick. Hell, his newborn picture is holding up the middle finger. We’re never going to get rid of him.”
She pats me on the chest, a giggle coming over her. “Stop. You love that man.”
“I do. He’s blood. I have to love him.”
“He’s also one of your best friends. By now we should know how to handle him.”
“True, but he never loses motivation to annoy the shit out of me.”
“That’s our Ty.”
“How you ever dated him is beyond me.”
“He made me laugh.”
“Yeah, that’s about all he knew how to do.”
This gets her going again. “You’ve got a point. He was a terrible boyfriend.”
“That’s why it was so easy to steal you away.”
We kiss again. Each time it happens I hope my body will react accordingly. With her hovering over me, and the temperature of the water, I can’t tell what I’m feeling between my legs. Savanna reaches down to see if anything is going on. Her face gives me the result I fear the most. Nothing.
“Let me wash you. Don’t be discouraged. I’m not entirely focused. Once we get out and I can barricade the damn door shut, I’ll be able to concentrate solely on pleasuring you.”
She bites down on her lips and grins. “What are you waiting for?”
Operation Dick is back in business.