Chapter One
Maverick
Picture a box. Just a simple square box with an ordinary color scheme, or perhaps it’s dull and brown. Maybe it has tears in the corners like some worn ones do. There are words scrawled on the front, labeling it as sports items or something else generic.
But what if there was more to it than that?
Maybe it wasn’t just basic sports stuff, but it held one-of-a-kind items, like autographed baseballs from sports legends that have long since passed away.
Once labeled, it would be hard to imagine the box holding anything other than that, as if the labeling of it defined its only purpose and nothing else mattered.
I felt like that sometimes. A poorly labeled box.
People only saw my appearance: tall, broad-shouldered, and jock-like. But none of them actually saw the real me. I loved sports and was damn good at them, but I also loved science, specifically Biology, and that I thought it would be awesome to be a marine biologist when I grew up—to explore the ocean and the life within it.
In my junior year, I’d had a role in the school production of Sleepy Hollow, and I’d enjoyed every moment of it, but most people only thought I’d done it as a joke.
It sucked.
Last year, I’d also had a boyfriend. Guess I still did, but Chris was leaving.
I should’ve prepared myself for it; the inevitable moment I knew was coming. A part of me thought if I ignored it, it wouldn’t be real.
Long distance relationships could work, right?
“It’s not goodbye for forever,” Chris said, resting his head on my shoulder. His spikey, blond hair tickled my cheek. “I can visit on breaks and holidays, and you can come see me too.”
But even as he said the words, I felt it truly was goodbye. August would start my senior year of high school there in Port Haven. He’d already graduated and was moving to New York for college where he’d make new friends and start a new life.
A life without me.
“Sure,” I replied, keeping my true feelings to myself so we’d avoid a dramatic goodbye.
The situation would have the same result regardless—him leaving and me staying behind—so it was pointless to make it even more difficult.
“I love you, Mav,” he whispered, still nestled into his favorite spot on my shoulder.
I knew he meant the words. We were each other’s firsts—kiss, boyfriend, and sexual encounter—and we’d been together since November. Love wasn’t always enough. With time, it would fade as new people came into our lives and the distance between us would become not only physical but emotional as well.
“Love you too.” I kissed the side of his head before pulling back to look at him. Silver eyeshadow colored his lids and really set off his blue eyes. He hadn’t even left yet, and I already missed him. “Let me know when you get there, okay?”
He nodded and grabbed his carry-on bag. As he walked away, he didn’t look back. Not once. In the movies, they always looked back, as if they needed that final gaze before they left. Chris didn’t.
I watched him until he disappeared into the crowd of people, feeling like a boulder was on my chest.
And I thought of the damn box again, wondering if Chris had labeled me too. Just the cute, jock guy to bang until better things came around. The sexy fling until he left to start his own life.
He loves me, though. I’m not just a high school fling.
But, why didn’t he turn around?
I went home after that.
“You okay, sweet pea?” Mom asked as I came through the door. No matter how old I got, she still used those childlike nicknames. It didn’t bother me, though, like it probably did most kids. At least I had a mom who loved me. “Was Chris nervous about leaving home?”
No. He seemed rather eager actually.
“Maybe,” I answered instead. “It was kind of hard to read him.”
She looked at me with sad eyes. “You two can work it out, right?”
I’d come out to my parents about two years before, and they had taken it pretty well. Both had been shocked at first. Mom had given me the biggest hug ever and told me she would support me no matter what. Dad hadn’t said much about it, but at least he hadn’t freaked out on me.
“Maybe,” I repeated.
Normally, I talked more, but I just wasn’t in the mood. I wanted to go crash on my bed and sleep for a few days.
Or at least until my heart stopped hurting.
“I’m making lemon-pepper chicken and roasted potatoes for dinner,” Mom said before giving me a gentle hug and walking toward the stove. “Go lay down for a while, sweet pea. I’ll come get you when it’s ready.”
My eyes prickled, but I refused to cry in front of people. Mom knew me better than anyone. I nodded and walked up the stairs to my room.
Once inside, I finally let the tears fall.
***
“Maverick?” my dad said before opening my bedroom door. No knock or anything. Good thing I hadn’t been jacking-off or something. “Opening house is today. You going?”
I closed the comic book I was flipping through and looked up.
Mom said I was the spitting image of him, and I could sort of see it. We had the same square jaw and same shade of blue eyes. My sandy-brown hair matched his, but where he kept his short, I let mine grow out a bit.
“Yeah,” I answered, standing up and stretching. “I lost track of time.”
School was starting on Monday, and they always had an ‘opening house’ where students could pick up their schedules and see where their classrooms were going to be for that year. It was also a chance to talk to the teachers and meet any new ones. Attendance wasn’t mandatory, but I liked going.
Dad stared at me with unsure eyes. Studying me.
“How’re things?” he asked.
I knew he meant with Chris—my boyfriend—who I hadn’t talked to in over a week, nearing two, even though I had called him every freaking day. He had called me when he’d made it to New York, and then we had talked occasionally in the days following that. But as the weeks passed, the time between our conversations just became longer and longer.
“Great,” I lied.
He accepted my answer with a nod and closed the door.
Things weren’t exactly awkward with us, just weird at times.
Dad supported me like Mom did, but he still seemed to hold onto hope that I was just going through a phase with all the gay stuff. He wasn’t against gays or anything—he’d admitted that he’d been experimental in college as a rebellion against his conservative parents and had done some things with a guy in his dorm, which of course was a conversation I would’ve rather blocked out with a hot poker into my ears before listening to. He just wanted me to have a normal life: get married, have kids. All of that.
When I told him I could still have that life, just with another guy, he’d gotten real quiet and dropped the conversation. So, I’d never brought it up again.
I think that’s called an impasse. When there’s no chance at reaching an agreement, so you just let it go. I wasn’t upset that he hadn’t one-hundred percent come around yet. Well, not that upset.
After getting in my car, I rolled down the windows since it was nice outside and drove to school.
I lived in a town in western Oregon called Port Haven. There was something almost magical about living there. The oceanic climate, historic buildings, harbor, and storefronts by the bay just did something to my mood. Sometimes the air carried with it saltiness, and the smell just reminded me of home. Like the only place I ever wanted to be.
Most kids couldn’t wait to move away after graduation.
I never wanted to leave.
The school was packed when I arrived, so I had to drive around a bit before I found a parking spot.
When I was younger, my parents had come with me to the opening house, but I was old enough now to go alone. As I walked toward the entrance, I saw kids walking with their parents, looking around at the buildings with confused faces.
Yeah, they must be the freshmen.
The middle school was in a different location, and the set-up was different. The high school had various buildings scattered throughout the ground, so to a newcomer, it was confusing at first.
On my first day of freshmen year, I’d accidentally gone into the performing arts auditorium instead of the math building, and that was when I’d realized I wanted to do theater. I hadn’t had the courage to tell anyone about it until the following year, though.
Theater was still the plan for senior year too. It was freeing to me. Although it wasn’t something I wanted to pursue after school, I enjoyed it nonetheless.
“Mavy!” Sarah exclaimed, running toward me. She was short with brown hair and wore neon pink glasses. She was also a theater kid, but she lived and breathed it unlike me. “It’s so weird not having Bas, Evan, and Chris here isn’t it?”
I inwardly cringed at the mention of Chris.
He, Bas, and Evan had been part of our group last year. But they were all graduated and off to new things now. Evan and Chris were in New York. The only one that had stayed semi-close to home was Bas. He was attending a college like two hours away that had a great deaf program. He had Meniere’s Disease and had gradually lost his hearing over the years, and toward the end of senior year, he’d lost the majority of it.
“Yeah,” I answered, scratching at the side of my face before forcing my hand down. I tended to fidget sometimes. “It’s weird not having Noah too.”
Noah had been a new student last year, and he’d stood out like a sore thumb: aqua-blue hair, a lip piercing, and a mostly all-black wardrobe. The guy had also carried around a gruesome cartoon zombie backpack.
I’d had a major crush on him, but he’d only had eyes for Bas, so I moved on. Last I heard, they were still together.
Sarah’s bottom lip trembled and she looped arms with me. “At least we’re still here.”
I patted her hand and smiled as we progressed toward the main building.
Then, her eyes got big and she turned to me. “You’re still doing theater, right? Oh my god, please say yes. I’ll cry if you say no. I won’t have, like, any friends in there if you don’t.”
Not exactly true. She was friends with the whole drama department. But I guess I knew what she meant. Like real friends, not just acquaintances.
“No worries,” I reassured her. “I’ll be there.”
She grinned and her nose crinkled in an adorable way.
If I were straight, I probably would’ve made a move on her. She was nerdy, short, and carried a few extra pounds, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t beautiful. Honestly, it made her more so to me. Even when it came to guys, I was hardly ever attracted to what most people considered beautiful or sexy. The preppy dudes did nothing for me, neither did the athletes. It was why I think I’d had such a massive crush on Noah, and then later Chris.
Chris was a bit out there in the sense that he wore makeup and even shopped in the women’s department for some of his shirts and jackets.
Stop thinking about him.
“Oh, there are my parents. I wanted them to meet the new history teacher,” Sarah said, releasing her hold on my arm and turning to me. “I’ll see ya on Monday, ‘kay?”
I watched her hurry toward them before going inside the building.
Schedules were to be picked up from the counselor’s office, so I went that way. The counselor was an older woman with the smallest eyes I’d ever seen, but every time I walked through her door, those eyes grew a few sizes. Like a ‘better to see you with, my dear’ type thing.
What is she, the big, bad wolf? I shook the thought away.
After she asked about my summer—how it went, was I excited for school to start, blah—she gave me my schedule, and I left her office. I looked at my classes as I walked down the hall, scanning the list to make sure I was in every course I requested. AP Biology, Drama, check and check.
Smack.
I’d collided with someone as I rounded the corner, nearly sending them to the tile floor, but upon reflex, I reached and grabbed them.
“Sorry!” I said.
“Watch where you’re going,” he snapped, looking up at me with a scowl.
For a moment, all I saw were his pale blue eyes. Eyes that were lined with black liner and surrounded by long, dark lashes. Then, I saw the rest of him.
He wore red skinny jeans, a black baggy T-shirt, and worn-out Converse shoes. His slender frame was long, but he was shorter than my six foot height. Shoulder-length, kind of choppy, black hair fell a bit into his face.
I couldn’t take my eyes off him.
My mind registered the situation, and I realized I was still holding onto him. I let go.
“Sorry,” I repeated. “Normally, I’m not so dumb to walk and read at the same time. Just have a lot on my mi—”
He walked away.
“Yeah. Awesome chatting with you,” I said under my breath.
I looked at him as he retreated down the hall. His shoulders were angled forward a little as he walked, and his head was lowered. Then, he disappeared inside the counselor’s office.
I wondered what his story was. He was obviously new since I’d never seen him before.
Guess I’d find out more on Monday. I was bound to run into him again… just hopefully not literally.
My cheeks heated as I thought about it again, and then I walked outside to my car.