Sandy

I was comfortable in my new home when Smokey was present, but when he was gone, I felt out of place. As if I was invading space that I didn’t have the right to, I reluctantly opened each of the drawers, looking for the silverware while Eddie took a shower.

I realized as I pulled open drawer after drawer, that although I’d been in the house for two weeks, I didn’t know where the silverware was.

On the next to the last drawer, I hit the jackpot.

Thank God.

I grabbed a butter knife, and closed the drawer.

Did I just see what I thought I saw?

I opened it again.

I gazed at the silverware, which was situated in a wooden cutlery organizer. Beside the organizer were three pairs of chopsticks. I smiled and shut the drawer.

I got the bread from the pantry, some ham, the cheese, and then looked for the mayonnaise. While scanning the compartments on the refrigerator doors, I saw another surprise.

I picked up the bottle.

Sandwich Pal Horseradish Sauce.

I grinned and closed the drawer.

I made my sandwich, and spread a thick layer of horseradish sauce on the bread. As I ate, I decided to make a mental list of all the things about Smokey that I didn’t like. By the time I was finished eating, I hadn’t come up with one single thing. On my way to the sink, I came up with no less than six things about him that I did like.

Convinced that I could fall in love with him if he could fall in love with me, I washed my hands and walked into the living room.

Eddie was relaxing on the couch with her Kindle.

“Oh,” I said. “I thought you were in the shower.”

“I was,” she said. “Not anymore, though.”

“When does your dad get home most of the time?”

“On Saturday?” She shrugged. “Before dinner.”

“I didn’t have to work, so I’m just kicking it.”

She looked up. “We can kick it together. If you want.”

I sat down. “Okay.”

She tossed the tablet to her side and sighed. “I’ve got a lot left to read.”

“What are you reading?”

“I like NA stuff.”

“NA?”

“New Adult.”

“What’s that?”

“It’s a genre about kids my age. Leaving home. Relationships. Finding a job. College. Just stuff like that, but it always includes falling in love.”

“Sounds fun.”

“NA, or falling in love?”

I shrugged one shoulder. “Both.”

“It’s fun to think about.”

“Falling in love?” I asked.

She nodded. “Yeah.”

“Is Richard the one?”

“I don’t know. He’s cool, and we have fun together, but who knows.”

I wondered if she was being totally truthful with me and quickly decided she probably wasn’t. I doubted she trusted me, for one, and secondly, I suspected she thought I’d tell her father anything she told me.

I wondered about developing a friendship with her, and wondered if I could so and maintain some level of separation as a parent.

“Are uhhm. Are you and your dad friends?”

She looked at me like my head was on fire, and then laughed. “Yeah. Like, best friends.”

“That’s cool,” I said.

“What about your dad and you?” she asked.

“He left when I was little.”

Her nose wrinkled. “That sucks. What about your mom?”

“She uhhm. She was…she is a drug addict. I left home when I was thirteen and moved in with my aunt and uncle. So, I really didn’t spend a lot of time around her.”

Her eyes dropped to the floor. “My mom was, too. She died.”

“I’m so sorry.”

She shrugged. “That’s what happens. I mean, it sucks, but it happens. Drugs are stupid. I’m glad her and my dad got together, even if it was just for a little while. I mean, if they didn’t, I wouldn’t be here, you know. So, that’s cool. But yeah. Drugs are stupid.”

“They sure are.”

She scooched toward the arm of the couch and then turned to face me. “Are you excited about the baby?”

Her eyes made her level of excitement clear, which shocked me. I smiled. “I am. More every day.”

She rubbed her hands together. “What do you want?”

“Oh. I don’t know. I just want a healthy baby.”

“Everybody says that.” She chuckled. “You have to want one or the other a little more. Which one? I want a baby sister.”

Hearing her say sister made me feel like she’d truly accepted the situation wholeheartedly. “Are you excited about being a sister?”

“Oh, man. Am I? Yeah, I’ve always wanted to have brothers and sisters, but not so much brothers. Unless I already have a sister, that is. Either would be cool, though.”

“I think I’d like a daughter,” I whispered. “But don’t tell your dad.”

“I think he wants a boy.” She pressed her index finger against her lips. “I’m not saying a word.”

I widened my eyes and shook my head. “I don’t want to make him mad.”

“Girl power.” She raised her hand and turned her palm to face me.

I slapped my hand against hers. “Girl power.”

“This is going to be so cool,” she said. “When can we find out what the sex is?”

“Like three months or so.”

“I can’t wait.”

I was excited too, but the longer we talked the more excited I became. After half an hour of talking about babies, we were in the kitchen making milkshakes and discussing the fallacy of love.

Eddie took a slurp of her milkshake, and then wiped the corners of her mouth with the tip of her finger. “Love? I think initially that it’s a conscious acceptance of a person being satisfactory. You know, as far as attraction goes. Yeah, this guy’s hot, or whatever. So, the girl decides she’s attracted to said person, and she gives him a chance.” She shrugged. “Then, they hang out. He thinks she’s cool, she thinks he’s cool, and they bone or whatever. He decides he likes boning her, she knows she likes boning him, and one day he pulls a douche move, and they break up.”

She gulped another drink of her milkshake. “Happens all the time. Anyway. Then, she thinks about being with him, and how cool it was to lay around and watch Netflix on the couch. And she tries to forget about him, all she can remember is what it was like when they boned. So, she sends him a text and says, what’s up? He’s watching football with his brahs, and he sees the text and says, check this out. Talia sent me a text. His buddies say, brah, you should so go bone her. When the football game is in the fourth quarter, dude sends her a text and says, not much, wanna hang out? And she gets all excited, and they hang out and bone again. The next day, they declare they’re in love.”

I chuckled. “Just like that?”

“Mmhhmm.” She twirled the spoon around in her cup, decided it was empty, and pushed it to the side. “Just like that.”

“You don’t think people see each other and just know?” I asked.

She dropped her spoon in the sink. After tipping the cup upside down and tapping her hand against the bottom a few times, she scrunched her nose and tossed the cup in the sink, too. She looked up. “Like insta-love?”

“Yeah, basically.”

“Nope.” She shook her head slowly. “It’s written in books, but it’s crap. Basically, the same as a unicorn or a vampire. If I read a book, and it’s insta-love? I return it and read something else. If I wanted to read a fairy tale, I would.”

“People don’t just fall in love?”

“No. It happens like I said a minute ago.”

“Every time?”

“Yeah, pretty much,” she said. “Why, how do you think it works?”

I shrugged. I believed in fairy tales. Or, at least I had in the past. “I’m not sure. I think people are attracted to each other, and then they spend time together. They either fall in love, or they don’t. If they do, I think it grows over time. If they don’t, they move on and try it with someone else.”

“Basically, that’s what I said. Mine’s more realistic, though.”

Taking advice on life from Eddie seemed odd, but I liked her concept. “How are you so smart for a seventeen-year-old?”

“I read a lot,” she said. “And, I’ve got a cool dad.”

“Yeah. He’s pretty cool.”

“So are you,” she said. “I gotta go poop.”

I chuckled as she walked away.

As she took care of her business, I had to wipe away a tear. I told myself it was an estrogen overload.

But, it may have been that I was falling in love a little bit with Eddie, too.