My hand hovers over the door handle, unsure if I should knock or just crack it open quietly. My heart races as I question what I might find when I enter. I tap twice with my knuckle, but not loud enough that I’ll disturb Ruck if he’s sleeping.

I push open the door, and Lia immediately snaps her head around. Her face breaks into a huge smile, and she jumps up off her chair to greet me.

“Sadie!” She flings her arms around me and hugs me close. “We were so worried. I’m so pleased Ramsey found you and brought you home.” Her words make me feel warm and wanted. Making me realize that I haven’t felt that in a very long time.

“Me too,” I say. I missed these guys. I missed the camaraderie. I missed the feeling of togetherness—of family.

“How’s he doing?” I glance over Lia’s shoulder to Ruck and gasp. His face is bruised, his chest and hands bandaged, and he’s hooked up to some kind of a drip. “Oh, God, what did they do to you?” I whisper on a shaky breath. I step away from Lia’s hold, and closer to the bed, tears stinging my eyes and blurring my vision. “I’m so sorry, Ruck.” My lip quivers as I take in his beaten form and try to fight back the wall of emotion that’s just about to smack me in the face.

“He’s gonna be okay,” Lia tells me, rubbing my back in small, soothing circles. “The crank is working its way out of his system, and his wounds will heal.” She smiles sadly, and we watch him in silence for a few moments.

“It’s all my fault,” I sob, wiping tears from my cheeks. “If I hadn’t gone, he would have—”

“No,” she says quietly, halting my words. “If they didn’t get to him that night, there would have been another time. We’re all thankful they didn’t get to you.”

“I wish it was me,” I murmur, the guilt eating me up from the inside. How do you come back from something like this? How can he possibly remain unchanged? “You must be tired, Lia…go. I’ll watch him. Get some rest.”

“I’m fine, thanks, sweet girl.” She straightens out the corner of the sheet covering Ruck and trails her hand up the bed until she reaches his shoulder. “This is what I do best, look after my boys. They’re the sons I never had.” She smiles so affectionately down at Ruck, and if love alone could make it all better, he would be just fine in no time, but I know better than most that events like this change you. You don’t come back from something like this as the same person you were before. Life shapes you. It molds you into all kinds of ever-changing forms, adapting to the new person that you become, and sometimes forcing you to be someone you never wanted to be in the first place.

Ruck starts to groan and throws his head from side to side. He looks tormented, and my heart starts to race just seeing him so pained. Lia clicks a button on the line that’s hooked up to his arm. She strokes his hair, then presses her lips to his forehead, kissing him gently and talking softly to him. He settles after a few minutes, but the knot in my stomach pulls tighter.

“Where did you learn to do all that?” I ask, waving my hand at the hospital equipment set up at Ruck’s bedside. 

She walks back over to me, speaking quietly. “Mo’s wife, Marnie, works at the local clinic, so she gets us supplies when we need them. It saves going to the hospital if we can avoid it by keeping it in these four walls. And, I was a nurse before I met JJ. Gave it up to come here and be an old lady.”

“You couldn’t have continued to do it?” I ask, feeling sad that she must have trained for years, only to give it up a few years later.

She shrugs. “Didn’t want to. Before I met JJ, nursing was my future. Then I met him, and he very quickly became my world.” Her gaze softens, and she talks wistfully.

I sigh, a happiness that starts to untwist the anxious feeling in my belly. Their love is visible to anyone that meets them. It’s almost tangible—it’s that real. This is the stuff that fairytales are made of—if your knight wears a cut and rides a Harley instead of a white horse, that is.

“How’s he doing?” Ramsey says, entering the room behind me. He strokes my shoulder as he walks past and stands at Ruck’s side.

“He’ll be okay.” Lia rests her small hand in the middle of Ramsey’s back. “We’ll take the IV out tomorrow and see if we can try and get him to eat something. No smuggling whiskey in for him, do you hear me?”

“Thank you,” Ramsey mutters, draping his arm over her shoulder and kissing her on the top of her head. She’s at least a foot shorter than him, and his large frame dwarfs hers. “You go and get some rest.”

“I’ll rest here.” She smiles up at him, slipping out from under his arm.

“You’ve been here too long, Lia. Let me help.”

“You’ve had a long drive. I’ve been sitting here drifting in and out of sleep. One more night won’t hurt me. I want you to take Sadie and get some rest.”

“Lia, I—” I start, but she interrupts me.

“I won’t argue with you both.” She busies herself, refolding a pile of Ruck’s clothes. “Go.” She shoos us out of the room, waving her hands.

Ramsey looks at me and rolls his eyes. “If you’re sure.”

Just then, Ruck starts to move, and we all turn to him. “Go,” he croaks, his voice raspy and dry.

“Hey, man.” Ramsey puts himself in Ruck’s line of sight as he cracks open his eyes. “How are ya feeling?”

Ruck doesn’t answer but looks carefully around the room. When he sees me, his eyes narrow and then he turns his head away from us all. “Get out.” His voice cracks and he starts to cough. “GET OUT.”

Lia tugs at Ramsey’s arm and pushes us both toward the door. “He’s bound to be cranky. He feels like shit, and it must be frustrating as hell for him. Give him some time, yeah?”

“Call me if you need anything,” Ramsey insists. “We’re just across the hall.”

“I know. We’ll be fine.”

“Come on.” I close my hand around Ramsey’s, and he sighs, giving Lia a smile, and nodding solemnly.

“Morning,” Ramsey says, looking down at me as I open my eyes. His hands are pressing into the pillow on either side of my head, and water drips from his hair where he’s freshly showered.

“Morning,” I groan, smiling up at him.

He moves closer, hovering his lips above mine. “Sleep well?” he whispers.

“Like a baby,” I reply. I’ve never been a good sleeper. Always too much going on in my head to be able to shut off and rest properly. But there’s something about sleeping in Ramsey’s warm arms, protectively cocooned by his body. I feel safe—like I don’t always have to be hyperaware of my surroundings. My fight or flight instinct almost switches off when I’m with him. I wiggle my arms out from underneath the covers and place my fingers softly on Ramsey’s waist, trailing them up and down and making him squirm. “Ticklish?” I continue stroking, but stop when I reach the knot where his towel is tucked in.

I flash him a devilish grin and tug the towel away. He doesn’t flinch or even acknowledge that I’ve just stripped him completely naked, but instead he moves closer to lick the length of my bottom lip with his tongue. I groan, reaching between us, gripping his length in my palm and stroking him back and forth slowly. He holds his position, then glances down between us, watching my stroking gradually getting faster.

“Your hand feels like heaven, Sadie girl.” He groans, his eyes softening. “That’s it, squeeze me tighter, move faster.”

“So bossy,” I say quietly, pushing my chest up to meet his and obeying his instructions. “Faster like this?” I say, picking up the pace and making him twist and squirm in my grip.

“Oh yeah, baby.” His breaths quicken in his chest, and his hips start to move in rhythm with my hand. “Just like that.” He swings one leg over me, straddling my hips, and sits back on his haunches as I sit up, working him into a sweat.

I love seeing him so raw. Nothing between us, just passion and desire, and tangled souls that call in a tone only we hear. I reach forward with my free hand, cupping his balls in my palm, and he gasps, leaning back and thrusting up into my hand. I tighten my grip on him, and his hips start to move faster until the movement is irregular and his breaths become heavy pants. Then he snaps his head up, looking directly into my eyes as he comes with a roar all over my chest.

“You really are somethin’ special, Raven,” he pants, climbing off the bed with shaky legs.

“You okay?” I laugh.

“You’re gonna be the death of me.” He chuckles, shaking his head. “Here…” he tosses me a towel, and I wipe myself off.

“I had better shower,” I say, hopping out of bed with the towel clutched to my chest.

Ramsey stands right in front of me and holds underneath my chin with his thumb and forefinger, staring into my eyes. “I—”

Heavy thuds on the door snap our attention away from each other. “Ram, out here, now! We’ve got company,” Dingo’s voice comes through the door.

“Stay here,” he orders. “I mean it, Sadie. Don’t fucking move until I come back, okay?”

“Okay.” I nod. I’ve learned my lesson. There’s no way I will chance putting any of us in that position again. Ramsey pulls on jeans, a t-shirt, and his cut. He tucks a knife into his boot, and his gun into his waistband, and with a chaste kiss, he’s gone.

I pace back and forth with the towel still clutched to my chest. Then I jump in the shower, washing in record time as I can’t stand to be in one place when I have no idea what’s going on out there. Dingo said they had company. What did he mean? Is it good company? Bad company?

I pull on jeans and a tank, and as I start to towel dry my hair, Ramsey bursts in through the door. “Ram,” I let out a sigh of relief. “Is everything okay?”

“No.” He eyes me with uncertainty. “I need you to come with me.” He holds out his hand, and without hesitation, I place my hand in his. “It’s Vaughn. He’s at the gates. He refuses to leave until he sees you, and if we don’t get rid of him soon, JJ is gonna put a bullet through his skull.

I tear my hand from his hold, slam my feet into my boots, and storm past him, bumping my shoulder with his.

“Sadie,” he snaps, grabbing my upper arm as I pass. When he opens his mouth to speak again, I shut him up by wrapping my fingers around the back of his neck and pulling him down for a kiss.

“I chose you, Ramsey,” I tell him, sensing he needs reassurance but didn’t dare ask.  “Nothing has changed.” I storm through the building, past all the bikers and their old ladies in the yard and straight to the gates.

“Open it,” I order the prospect on gate duty.

“Sadie, I—” JJ says, placing his hand on my shoulder.

“It’s fine,” I snap. “I’m fine.” I step forward, and he backs off but stays close.

“What do you want?” I ask Vaughn, propping my hands on my hips.

He climbs out of the car and stands in front of me, and as he does, Nate climbs out of the car but stands with the door open—ready to get in and drive should something happen. I know he will be armed, but he’s not stupid, and anyone can see that they’re outnumbered.

“Sadie.” Vaughn lets out a deep breath. “I’ve been so worried. You just left. No note, no call, nothing.” He reaches forward to touch my arm, but I yank it away, and I hear several clicks of guns being readied for action behind me.

“How fucking dare you come here. How did you know I was here?” I spit, angling my shoulders toward him. How dare he come here and cause trouble in the one place I feel like I finally belong.

“You left me no choice, you—”

“I left without a word, yes, I know. Because you took me away from the home I had just started to feel settled in—from the people that make me feel happy. I didn’t even have a cell phone, Vaughn. How am I supposed to call you with no cell?”

“If you had just waited for me to come back to the rental, I’d been to the store for you, and had everything you could have ever needed.”

“You don’t get it, do you? You can’t buy me. I’m insulted that you even think you can. You aren’t what I need anymore. I needed someone when my mom died, and you were there. But you see, you could have been anyone. It wouldn’t have mattered. You lied to me, Vaughn. You told me Ramsey didn’t want me.” He glances over to the yard and narrows his eyes at Ramsey. I don’t turn, but I know if I did, Ramsey’s jaw would be clenching, and he would have his hand on his gun, ready to put Vaughn in the ground. “He did come for me, Vaughn. When it mattered the most. He came for me, and where were you?”

He closes his eyes slowly and lowers his head.

“Sadie,” Nate offers across the hood of the vehicle. “Please come back with us, let’s talk.”

“No,” I say simply. “You’ve sheltered me for too long, Vaughn. I’m a grown woman, and I’m telling you to leave. Don’t fight me on this.”

He snaps his head up and grits his teeth before stepping forward and grabbing my elbow. It’s the worst thing he could have done because Ramsey’s footsteps thunder up behind me, and JJ pulls his gun, aiming it right at Vaughn’s forehead. Nate pulls his gun, aiming at JJ, and we all posture in some kind of weird, twisted standoff.

“Just go, Vaughn,” I say softly, stepping back into Ramsey’s waiting arms.

The desperation in Vaughn’s eyes is evident. I’ve never seen him like this. He’s usually so cool, so calm and level-headed in every situation. But it’s like he’s unraveling. I know I took off fast. I know it must be hard for him to let me go. But the more I’ve sat and thought about our relationship, the more I’ve realized it’s not a healthy one. He smothers me. He lets me think I’m independent and that my choices are my own, but they’re not. He’s controlled every day of my life since the day my mom and brother died, and now that has to stop.

Ramsey tucks me under his arm and into his side, turning us to walk away. Car doors slam and tires screech down the road, getting further and further away until I can’t hear them any longer.

It’s then that tears spring from my eyes.

It’s never joyful when a relationship ends, let alone between two people that have considered themselves family for so long. But Vaughn made the final push when he lied to me about Ramsey. I’m done with others controlling me; my life, my thoughts. I’m my own person, and be it here, or anywhere else, I’m going to start living my life, my way. That starts right now.

“You okay?” Ramsey asks, tightening his arm around my shoulders.

“Yeah,” I answer. Despite what’s just happened, I am okay. I feel lighter.

I feel free.