She was coming back with me whether she wanted to or not. I had made that decision before I’d even found her again. I’d lost her once, and despite it being for a really short amount of time, I hated the hollow feeling it left me with.
Then she told me that she was raped.
Fuck.
I’d never wanted to kill someone as much as I do the person who did that to her.
What sick fucking individual would do that to a child? An innocent little girl?
But as soon as I ask myself this question, I already answer it. I’ve come across so many depraved people in my lifetime, copious amounts of sick fuckers that need putting down like the filthy fucking dogs they are. Sadie’s right. She is doing the world a favor. But I hate that it eats her up inside, and taints that kind, pure heart that she once had. I see it in her. I see the woman she is behind the pain. I feel the passion she holds when she touches me. I know the woman she could become when she looks deep into my eyes and strokes my soul. If she could set her past free and make some kind of peace with her demons.
We ride away from the motel feeling closer than ever, and stronger for being by each other’s sides. Despite taking out pretty much half of The Wolves main crew, I’m not certain that the threat has passed. Their VP, Hobo, is dead, along with the three men that we found at the warehouse with Ruck. They’ve paid for what they did to him with their lives, although it was far too short and sweet for my liking. Ruck’s injuries were payback for what we did to Spice and Dago, and I’ll carry that burden until the day I die. But The Wolves have lost far more. They’ve lost lives, valuable brothers in their club, and I’m not sure they can come back from it. Killing four of their men and torturing two others hasn’t driven their President out of his hole, though, and that confuses me more than anything. He should be up front and center, fighting for his men. He should be driving retribution home with the ferocity of a thousand hungry lions. But he hasn’t so much as sent a message or shown his face—even to his crew. We have eyes on their place. We have intel everywhere they were known to frequent. But still, nothing. I wonder if maybe Rev is dead. Maybe something happened within their brotherhood, and they’ve been trying to keep it under wraps. Whatever it is, everyone is keeping tight-lipped, well, those that are left, that is.
I park the bike in the yard and wait for Sadie to climb off before following suit. She swallows loudly as she glances over to the HQ building and back to me.
“Do they all hate me?” she asks, looking sad and dejected.
“No.” I frown, unclipping my helmet from her head. “Look, JJ wants to see that you’re okay. I doubt there will be many guys in the bar. I would imagine they’ll all be at home with their old ladies,” I tell her, stroking her cheekbone with my thumb.
“Is Ruck here?” she asks quietly.
“Yes, Lia and JJ stayed here to watch him while I was gone. Lia used to be a nurse, so she knows what she’s doing.”
“I never knew that about her.”
“There is lots you don’t know, Raven,” I say, wondering how the hell we are going to break the biggest fucking news of all to her. “But we have all the time in the world.”
I take her hand and lead her into the bar. Her grip gets tighter as we walk, but I hold her securely and stroke my thumb across the back of her hand for reassurance. I know none of the guys blame her for what happened, but I’m protective of her, and I won’t let anyone make her feel it was her fault or that she’s not welcome.
Dingo is seated at the bar, and Ziggy is pouring them both shots as we walk in.
“You deadbeats got nowhere better to be?” I laugh, tucking Sadie in close to me as we walk.
“JJ kicked out the hang-arounds, so we’re drinking the bar dry.” Dingo raises a shot glass that’s full to the brim before downing it in one. He doesn’t even flinch as the liquid slips down his throat and knowing Dingo, it probably didn’t even touch the sides.
“Your girl alright?” He nods to Sadie through narrowed eyes. I feel her take a breath as she steps out from being partially obscured by my body.
“His girl is fine. Thanks,” she answers, swishing her hair over her shoulder.
Dingo whistles through his teeth and holds up another shot but offers it to Sadie this time.
“She’s good, thanks.” I hold my hand up to push the shot glass away.
“She’ll decide for herself, thank you,” Sadie snaps as she pulls her hand from mine and takes the shot from Dingo. He nods at her with a smirk, and I clench my jaw, trying not to smack that look right off his ugly face. But my annoyance doesn’t last long when I look to Sadie and see her fighting to keep the shot down, her eyes watering with the burn and her face red with heat and concentration.
“Are you okay, sweetheart?” I ask softly, trying to suppress my laughter as I rub her back gently.
“Yes,” she snaps, coughing as she pushes my hand away.
“Water for the lady please, Ziggy, and I’ll have a double Jack.”
He pours my drink and places it next to the water glass on the bar, before taking a towel and wiping around the bar top. “You trying to give Dev a run for his money?” Dingo asks.
“Yeah, man,” Ziggy replies. “He’ll have me shitting my own teeth if this place is a mess when he comes back, but there’s a small part of me that wants to do it better than him.” He laughs quietly. Joking around is how they get by here, and the boys are clearly finding it difficult without Dev and Ruck around the place.
“Where’s Tex?” I ask.
“Gone home,” Dingo replies sharply.
“Home?” I slide onto a barstool next to him and pat my thigh for Sadie to come and sit. She takes my indication as an offer instead of an order, happily settling her legs on either side of my thigh, and I place one hand securely on her waist. “Tex never goes home. This is his home.”
“Yeah, well, as you can see, it’s pretty damn quiet around here. Just me, Ziggy and the fucking mice.”
“What about JJ and Lia?” I take a mouthful of Jack and swill it around my mouth, absorbing the burn and swallowing slowly. I’ve been so intent on staying alert these last few days that I’ve refused to drink. But now, with everyone accounted for, I can breathe, if only for a short while.
“They’re taking it in turns to stay with Ruck. Lia more so. JJ has been a fucking nightmare. No one has dared speak to him or even look in his direction while you were gone.”
“That’s why everyone’s gone home,” I murmur to myself. “Fuzz make it back okay?”
“Yeah,” Dingo laughs, and he and Ziggy share a look.
“What did you fuckers do to him?” I ask.
“What makes you think we did anything?” Ziggy protests very weakly.
“Because I know you both better than you know yourselves. Where is he?”
“He’s enjoying the fruits of his hard work. JJ told us how he did everything you asked of him, and that we had to give him anything he wanted.” Dingo starts to laugh, and Ziggy follows suit.
“So…” I drop my head back, wondering what these fuckers have been up to. It’s traditional to fuck with the prospects. You have to push them to their limits, humiliate them, see how far they’ll bend for you, and then they have to prove themselves when it comes down to the wire. Fuzz has done all of that, and I’m guessing Dingo and Zig have given him his final dose of what it’s like when you’re trying to prove yourself.
“So.” Dingo leans forward, eager to tell the story and Sadie giggles at these two putting on a double act. “He had a couple of lines, a couple of shots, then Ziggy here called Candy to come and collect him.” He can barely contain his laughter as he tells me.
“You didn’t!” I laugh, shaking my head at these two.
“What?” Sadie says, turning to look at me. “Who’s Candy?”
“Fuzz…” Dingo continues. “Is currently tied up on Candy’s St. Andrew’s cross, being introduced to the world of BDSM.” He barely manages to finish his sentence before he’s laughing so hard he can hardly breathe.
“You’re a bunch of cunts…” I tell them, shaking my head with a laugh.
“He’s probably loving it. He went away a boy, and he’s gonna come back a man.” Ziggy laughs.
“Hey,” Dingo shouts. “If he gets patched in, can we change his name and call him… Whip?”
All of us laugh. Proper belly laughs, and it feels fucking good.
“Ramsey.” JJ’s voice breaks through the laughter. “You’re back.”
“Yep.” I tap Sadie on the thigh, and she stands so I can greet JJ. He opens his arms and pulls me in for a man hug, clapping me on the back, and almost choking me with shock.
“Thank you,” he says quietly so only I can hear. I acknowledge his words with a nod, and he releases me, turning to Sadie. He looks at her for a moment, studying her features, and she fidgets nervously under his gaze.
“It’s good to see you, Sadie.” He smiles at her, placing his hand on her shoulder.
“Thanks. You too,” she replies, quietly.
It’s a weird moment. He looks at her like he’s seeing her for the first time, and I appreciate that it must be fucking torture for him to not be able to pull her into his arms as a father would his daughter. But he knows he has to rein it in for now. She doesn’t know. Dingo and Ziggy don’t know, and now is not the right time to tell her, or them.
He tears his eyes away from her, rubbing his finger and thumb over his scruff.
“You look rough, man,” I tell him, taking in the black circles under his eyes.
“Thanks a fucking bunch,” he grumbles.
“Go. Sleep. Take Lia with you. I’m sure me and these fucking clowns can take care of Ruck.”
“I’d like to see Ruck, if I may?” Sadie asks, looking between me and JJ. I can see the uncertainty in JJ’s eyes, and so can Sadie.
“Look,” JJ says. “He’s pretty out of it on painkillers. Maybe it’s best if you don’t see him until the morning…”
“I just want to see that he’s okay. You and Lia obviously need some downtime. Please, let me help,” Sadie asks, and it’s hard to fucking say no to her.
I shrug when JJ looks to me for the answer. When I left to bring Sadie back, Ruck was giving everyone the silent treatment. He wouldn’t talk. Wouldn’t look at anyone. Wouldn’t eat. The only person he would do anything for is Lia.
“If he’s out of it, he won’t even know you’re gone. I’ll just sit quietly and make sure he’s okay. You don’t even have to leave the building. Just please, get some rest, you kinda look like shit.”
JJ chokes out a breath at Sadie’s not-so-subtle words. “Is she for real?” he asks, chuckling, and I shrug.
“Fine, Lia is down there. Go and say hi.” He throws his hand in the direction of the basement rooms and Sadie smiles.
“Thank you.” She reaches up on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek, then grabs the full shot glass on the bar and thrusts it in his hand before darting off down the stairs.
JJ stands there with the shot in his hand and his mouth open wide.
“You better drop that shot down your throat and do as she says, Prez.” I chuckle, watching JJ shake his head.
“Ram,” he says, smirking. “You might be laughing now, but she’s another Lia in the making, which means I’ll be having the last laugh,” he jokes affectionately, and I take it as the utmost compliment.
“Maybe.” I raise my brows, and he knows what I’m thinking. She’s not just mine now, she’s his too. The daughter he thought he’d never see again. The daughter he looked for and couldn’t find. The daughter he’s never gonna let go of now that she’s here with us. I see the love in his eyes for her. I felt the pain he felt when he thought The Wolves had her. “You got a minute, you know, before you do as Sadie told you?” I smirk.
“Yeah, man.” He drops the shot glass on the bar top.
We stand just out of earshot of the boys. “How’s Ruck been?” I ask. “Be honest, JJ…”
“He’s been shouting out a lot. He hasn’t woken properly, but he keeps counting. Never gets past twenty before he’s asleep again. Lia is keeping his pain meds topped up in the IV, and he’s had fluids to flush out the crank.”
“Fuck,” I spit, shaking my head as I try to wrap my brain around what the fuck has gone on lately. “They died too easily, man.” Revenge swirls in my stomach, and I can’t even settle that for Ruck, for what they did to him.
“I know.” JJ drops his head with a sigh. “I hoped Hobo was gonna pull through, but he bled out.”
“What did you do with their bodies?”
“Left them in the warehouse. Slammed a fucking great big lock on the shutters. No one’s gonna get in there until they start to stink up the joint.”
“How many Wolves are left now? They’re not a big MC. We must have taken out a chunk?”
He shrugs. “They’re not big. They just had big ideas. Rev was the driving force behind them. He wanted the fame and the power that comes with being a President of an MC. But he made a mistake passing the reins to Hobo while he went AWOL. Fucking useless cunt he turned out to be.”
“What’s the deal with you and Rev, Prez? That bad blood run deep?”
He looks to the ground then back up at me with a slow blink and a sigh. “Don’t know what his fucking problem is. He wants what I’ve got. Always has. For as long as I can remember there’s been bad blood between us. But I ain’t gonna be the man that bends over for him. He ain’t taking what’s mine, Ramsey.”
“Good to hear that, man. You think he’s hiding out or laid out cold in the ground? No one’s seen him for fucking months.”
“We’d know if he was cold. He’s hiding. The Wolves are four men down today, and two men fucked up from our handiwork in the cabin. They can’t have more than seven or eight crew left—if that.”
“Think they’re gonna push for Reno now?”
“If I had to guess, I’d say no. The main players are out of the picture. I won’t breathe easy just yet, but I’d say it’s starting to look in our favor.”
“And Dev?” I ask.
“He’s stable. The op went well, but he’s fucked up, Ram. He ain’t gonna be pretty.”
“But he’s alive,” I say, the only positive thing I can come up with.
“Yeah,” he nods. “For now.”
“Any word on the fucker that smashed him? Anyone know who he is and where the fuck we can find him?”
“Nothing yet. But the minute I hear anything, me and you are gonna go have a fucking party with that guy.”
“Yes, we are,” I say, the tension in my stomach knotting up at the thought of it. Making enemies comes with the territory when you’re an MC member. You learn to let it slide. I don’t give a fuck if someone doesn’t like me as long as they cross the fucking street and look the other way. When you fuck with me and my boys, that’s when you’ll bring out the side of me that no one ever wants to witness.
“One more, boys. Then the bar is closed for the night,” JJ calls over to Dingo and Ziggy.
“But the bar never closes, Prez.” Dingo frowns.
“It’s closing tonight.”