CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Jared
I couldn't believe what Darby just said. I stared at her in amazement.
She blinked at me, as if she couldn't believe it herself.
“I, um...”
I smiled at her. “Thanks,” I said. I was really moved. I looked down shyly, not knowing what else to do. That was the first time a girl had ever said that to me.
She shook herself. “I mean, Jared. Thanks for everything, and I... Oh, screw it.”
“What?”
She was shaking her head and she looked at me in a funny way, an expression of resignation.
“You know, I don't know why I'm lying to myself like this.”
“Lying to yourself?” I was really confused. About what?
“Jared, you know I'm a lawyer and my family are lawyers and teachers and, well...”
“I know.” I was ready for this stuff. The her telling me that I wasn't enough stuff. “I'm not your kind.”
“No. Well, yes, but...let me finish!” she said, exasperated. I laughed.
“You know, I just saw the lawyer in you.”
She smiled. A tired smile, but she seemed pleased. “Thanks.”
“Please,” I offered. “Say?”
“Okay.” She took a deep breath. “Yes, you're right. I did think that for a long time. That, well, we're from different worlds. But you know what?”
“No...”
“Well, that's why I like you. It's what I like. I... it's complicated.”
I smiled at her. “Well, I'm happy to hear it.”
She made a face at me and I stopped smiling. She sighed.
“You want to talk?” she asked.
I frowned. “Me?”
“Yes. You can also say something.” She sounded a little nettled. “I mean, I've just told you my side of the story.”
I nodded. “Well, my side is the same... sort of.” I frowned. I was really bad at talking about how I felt. I had no practice in it. “I like you, too.”
She smiled. In a way she looked exasperated, as if I'd told her something she didn't really want to hear. But she nodded. “Thanks.”
“I like you and I wish... lots of things.”
We were walking away from her car now, heading along one of the prettier streets in the neighborhood. I stopped, trying to clear my thoughts.
She was just waiting for me to say what I needed to say, just like she had in the restaurant those days before. No judgment, no questions. Just space.
“I wish I wasn't the mess I am. I wish I was... good enough for you. I wish I wasn't so dumb and I hadn't dropped out. I wish I'd gone to college.”
I blinked. I didn't know where that had all come from, but it felt as if a dark tide had welled up inside of me and was now rushing out. It was all the things that had been in my mind for ages. Things I hadn't admitted, even to myself.
She was looking at me, waiting for me to finish.
“There,” I said, looking down. “That's it.”
She smiled at me. Why was she smiling?
“You know,” she said, shaking her head. “That's wonderful.”
“It is?”
“Well, it isn't in a way – it's sad that you're so mad at yourself. But in another way, it's great that you want to do things with your life.”
I swallowed hard. “Thanks.”
“And,” she continued, walking again, “I can tell you something.”
“What?” I asked.
“I can tell you that you are good enough for me. You're very good. If I ever had any misgivings, it wasn't that.”
I sighed. I felt as if someone had walked into my heart and let out all the hurt and shame that had been stuck there for years. It was an amazing feeling.
“Thank you,” I said again.
We looked at each other. I looked into her eyes.
“Oh, dammit,” she said.
She kissed me.
I held her close, feeling the steady thump of her heartbeat, the sweet curvy body pressed against me. My loins were tight with longing now and I wanted her so badly. I was having trouble thinking of anything except the throb in my cock and the scent of her hair. Then she looked up into my eyes.
“You know what?” she said. Her voice was ragged. I started shivering.
“What?” I asked. My own voice sounded just as bad.
“Shall we..?”
I knew what she was thinking before she said it. “Yes,” I said.
We went home together.
As I led the way up to my apartment, I was shaking. I couldn't quite believe this was happening. I was leading Darby Gilmore back up to my apartment once again. It was madness. It was wonderful. It was happening.
“Jared,” she whispered as I opened the door.
“What?” I asked. I was shivering with longing as I looked at her. With her pink lips parted and her eyes big and inquiring, she was so beautiful that I couldn't tear my eyes away.
“I... I don't want to make the wrong impression,” she began. “I mean, I...” she trailed off as I kissed her hair.
“You can't make the wrong impression on me,” I said with a grin. “And besides – I'm not expecting anything of anyone. Really.”
I was surprised to see her shoulders slump with relief. “Good,” she said.
“Sweetheart,” I said, surprising myself with the endearment. “I'm just glad to have this moment with you.”
She blinked. I realized, after a moment, that her eyes were full of tears.
We kissed. I felt her body lean against mine like it was blending with mine. It was a weird feeling. My throbbing loins were matched by a sweet warmth in my heart. I held her close and my tongue pressed hers gently, the movement sweet and slow. She sighed and moved closer to me, her heart throbbing in a way that I could feel as if in my own chest. I closed my eyes and let my body and mind just feel what they were feeling.
I slid my hands down her back, trembling. For some reason, I felt that I wanted to go slow tonight. I wanted to savor this moment.
I lifted the back of her shirt and lifted it gently over her head. She sighed and made a soft sound as my hands moved round to her breasts. As they had earlier, they amazed me with their fullness, their softness.
She was wearing a lacy bra, white and pretty. It suited her. She looked so delicate, as if a breath of mine might break that soft, sweet form. She didn't seem quite real to me – I realized she never had. She was like a creature out of my dreams.
I reached around and undid the bra, trembling hard. I stared as I slid the straps down her arms, savoring the moment. She was sitting on the bed, eyes shut.
I stared at her breasts. Big and round, with those big pink nipples, I wanted so much to suck them, to touch them. I bent down and took one of them in my mouth. She gasped.
The sound sent fire through me and I pushed her back gently onto the bed, working the one with my fingers as I gently suckled the other one. I was lost in my senses – the smell of her, the soft feel of her skin, the warmth of her.
She moaned as I slid my hands down her body, stroking her skin. I reached the button of her pants and stroked lower, loving the sound of her breath as she drew it in. I unclasped the pants and drew down the fastening, then slid them off her soft, stunning thighs like unwrapping a gift.
She gasped as I slid the panties off her and then worked them lower, off over her ankles. She had pretty feet. I stroked her thighs and then, very gently, in between.
Her eyes flew open and she gasped. I smiled. I could smell the sweet womanly scent of her and I was fighting with myself. I looked a question to her and then bent down to kneel between her thighs.
She sighed and parted them gently. I moved lower. I touched her folds with my mouth.
She gasped and then I could hold myself back no longer. I was sucking and licking and kissing her, letting my tongue flick over her big, throbbing clit. I could hear the sounds she was making – sweet, loud gasps that fired my blood to even more longing.
I heard her gasp raggedly and I could feel she was about to climax. The thought of that made me feel my own cock ache and I wanted so badly to be inside her.
She was making louder noises now, her legs starting to shudder and I closed my eyes as she cried out, once and then again. I felt her whole body get still, and she sighed.
I looked up at her. She was smiling. Her face had split with a big happy grin. I wanted her so much right then. I stripped off my clothes and bent to kiss her again. She pressed against me and I moaned.
I slid down to kneel between her thighs and gently pushed into her. I heard her gasp and then she was moving with me, thrusting as I thrust. I was in the sweet warmth of her, my body aching and throbbing and shuddering and I was near the limit already, gritting my teeth to make it last longer as I was about to explode in her.
She sighed and I shivered as I pushed into her again and again. I was starting to pant and I could feel nothing except the throbbing ache in my cock that was rising and growing and thrilling all the way through me.
I came. I never felt anything like it. The cum washed through me like a wave, leaving me flat.
I cried out and she cried out at around the same time. I was lying on her and she was soft and warm and her arms held me firmly. I felt safe and satisfied and amazing, as if I had been shattered and put back together again.
I lay there for a long time.
When I woke up, it was to feel her kissing my cheek.
“Oh, Jared.”
I smiled and looked into her eyes and stroked her hair.
I knew I would never be able to say goodbye to her – not anymore.
I had fallen for her completely.