CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Darby
“Jared?”
It was Sunday morning and I was sitting on the couch opposite the big window with the skyline view. I hadn't slept that night – or barely. After Jared put the phone down I'd tried to call back, but I hadn't got through. I dragged myself out of bed and put on the kettle for coffee and called.
“Jared?”
I heard a voice on the other side of the phone. It was a cool, empty voice. “Hi?”
“Jared! Oh, thank Heavens. Are you okay? What the...” He sounded barely-alive.
“Listen, Darby,” he murmured. “I... I don't feel too great now. Okay?”
“Jared!” I felt afraid for him suddenly. What had happened. “Are you alright?”
He laughed. That made me feel a bit better. At least he could still laugh! “Listen, Darby, I feel really sick. I... thank you,” he murmured.
I laughed, then. “Jared! Why are you thanking me? I'm worried about you.”
“Thank you for calling back,” he said. He sounded sorrowful. I shook my head.
“I'm just worried about you,” I said. “If you're not feeling any better, for Pete's sake go to the doctor or something. It could be from the fight...”
I was concerned. I was sure I'd heard something about head injuries that suddenly started to get sore...
“Darby, I really like how concerned you are,” he said gently. “But really, I'm fine.”
I sighed. “Okay. If you're sure...”
He chuckled. “I'm sure. I know what's wrong with me. Just you stay safe, okay?”
I let out a long, slow breath. “Oh, Jared.”
I had forgotten how much he cared about me. It was one of the things I really valued. Alan hadn't given a damn about me, as far as I knew: sometimes I thought all he wanted was a girlfriend his snobby family would approve of. As it was, they barely approved of me – or at least he said that often.
I heard Jared chuckle hollowly on the other side of the phone. “Now, don't worry about me. You go have a good Sunday.”
“I'll try,” I murmured.
“Bye,” he said.
“Bye.”
I sat there with the phone in my hand, tears running down my cheeks. I needed to know he was okay. What was going on down there? More than that, my tears were for how moved I was. How was it that he still cared so much about me? After I'd walked away from him?
“I wish I understood him.”
I finished my coffee and went through to the kitchen, lost in thought. As I washed up the coffee-things, a thought occurred to me.
He was hung over.
Of course he was. That explained the strange illness that had suddenly befallen him. But why?
Jared didn't drink. I knew he didn't drink. Neither of us did, at least neither time we'd been out together.
The poor guy.
Alex had been worried about him. He had been right. The poor guy was suffering.
I tried to imagine how much stress Jared must be facing, in order to make him drink. I could imagine he'd hated it. He would be so mad at himself right now for breaking his promise. I knew he'd had a hard time with drink. Now that he'd turned his back on it, it would be hard to know he'd fallen back on it.
I hope he isn't making this a habit now.
I was worried for him.
“What can I do?”
There weren't many options I had, really. I could contact my uncle about it. But that would mean explaining the whole thing about Jared and me to my uncle, which I wasn't prepared to do.
I could try going up there myself, but that would be near-impossible – I'd already taken up a week of leave. I would be eating into my leave budget if I took any more.
I could tell Alex.
That was my only other option. Again, phoning Alex would mean telling him about my relationship with Jared. But it was about time I did that.
I checked the time – it was ten am. I was sure Alex would be awake by now – Sunday or no, Alex didn't seem to sleep very much. I pressed down the call button. Closed my eyes. Braced myself.
“Hello?”
“Alex! Hi! I hope you're up...”
He laughed. “Sure I am, Darby. What is it?”
“I have something to tell you. And something to ask.”
“Okay, sister,” he said quickly. “Fire away.”
I cleared my throat. “I... when we were in Green River I was seeing someone.”
“I thought that. Yes?”
“Oh. Well, I would have told you, but I thought you'd be mad at me.”
“Mad at you? Hell, Darby! You're no kid. You can do what you like. I have no right to be mad at you! Not for anything.”
I sighed. “I know. Well, thanks. But I thought you'd be worse than mad. That you'd be ashamed.”
“I would never be ashamed of you:”
His reply was so instant that it sent a flare of warmth straight to my heart.
“Thanks, Alex. Well, the thing is... the guy I was seeing was... It's Jared Manning.”
I held my breath, waiting for the sky to fall. Nothing happened.
“Really?”
To my astonishment, Alex was laughing. He sounded happy. I was shocked.
“Alex? You mean, you're okay with...”
“Of course I am,” he said immediately. “I'm just surprised. I thought...when you two met I thought you hated him.”
I chuckled. I had almost forgotten about that first day. I had certainly “blasted him”, as he would say. But no – I didn't hate him.
“I guess it looked like that.”
My brother chuckled. “It did, kind of. But...listen, Darby...I'm sorry. About yesterday, I mean. If I had any idea, I would never have...” he trailed off.
“You mean about asking me about legal advice?”
He sighed. “Yes. I mean...did you know?”
“No,” I admitted. “You see, when I thought you'd disapprove of him, I tried to walk away. But I can't. I just can't, Alex. It's weird,” I tried to explain.
“Darby,” he interrupted gently, “it's okay. Why would you have to walk away?”
“Well, he's...different, and Mom, and you, and...and my colleagues...” I tried to explain but he just laughed.
“You thought we'd all ostracize you because you were dating a guy who had been down on his luck. That right?”
I sighed. “That's exactly right.”
“Well,” he gave a big sigh. “I don't know about Mom. We could have some work to do there. But me? You know how I feel. I think it's great. He might be from, well, the wrong neighborhood, let's say it that way. But he's a great guy. I liked him the instant I saw him. Reminded me of Chett. The same clear outlook.”
“Yes!” I was astonished. “That's it!” I was amazed. My brother got it in a way that surprised me. That was exactly what I'd appreciated the most about Jared. His clear outlook.
“Well, I get it,” he assured me. “And I'm sure Mom will get it too. She just has to meet him. And your colleagues? Well, if they met him, they'd see what we saw. Trust me.”
I sighed. “You know, you're right. I feel like I was so dumb.”
I was laughing, but it was a mix of relief and regret for how foolish I had almost been. How could I have risked losing something that could be precious, just because of what other people would think? If I saw something good in Jared, other people would too. People weren't that different.
“And you know what?” he added.
“What?” I felt so reassured talking to Alex. It felt like all the worry that had been haunting me was finally evaporating. Things were clearer now.
“Well, if your colleagues don't like him they respect you enough to put up with whoever is with you.”
I heaved out a big sigh. “You think so?”
“I know so. So. What are you going to do?”
I shook my head. “I don't know. I'm worried about him, Alex.”
“I know,” he said softly. “So am I. I talked to his boss, but he didn't sound too happy.”
“Oh. Hell.” I frowned. “That's bad.”
“Yeah. Well, I told him he should investigate him by all means if he had to. He won't find anything bad – no criminal record or anything.”
“You're sure?”
Alex sighed. “Not one hundred percent, no. But as far as I know the worst they could have had Jared in on was shoplifting. And I can't actually see Mr. Haddon counting that as some non-excusable lapse.”
I laughed too. “And even if he did, I can't see being a shoplifter's going to impact his current job.”
My brother chuckled. “Yeah. Not many shops to lift from out there.”
“No. And difficult to hide horses under your coat.”
We were both laughing when we finally hung up.
When Alex had gone I sat quietly for a while. I felt a peace descend on me that I hadn't felt for weeks. Not since I first met Jared. I realized how much I had been tormenting myself with the fact that my family wouldn't approve of him – at least, my belief they wouldn't.
How could I not have trusted Alex more?
I wished I had. I would have saved myself weeks of worry, and I would have kept in touch with Jared.
I wasn't going to berate myself for that now, though. I had acted on the knowledge I had, which was that no-one would possibly understand me dating someone out of my own social tier.
I really thought that at the time. But now I had told someone, I had the power to change things. I was going to do my best to help Jared and sort this whole case out. Then I would think about what I wanted in my own life. That was going to be a complicated one. But I was ready for it.