CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Jared
We met the next day. We hadn't planned it. I called her and she answered and it seemed like we both wanted to see each other. I sneaked off during lunch and we met at my apartment.
My lips brushed hers. She let me gently bite that full pout. I started to shudder.
“Darby,” I groaned.
She let me push her back onto the bed and I slowly undressed her. She was so beautiful. I didn't think I'd ever get used to how beautiful she was. I devoured her with my eyes. Inhaled the smell of her. I was shivering, barely able to control myself.
“Jared,” she moaned. “I want you so much.”
To my amazement, she climbed on top of me. She lined her sweet wet opening up with my cock and lowered herself onto me. I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply. She was so wet, so tight. She slid down over me, taking me into herself slowly.
I cried out when she sat down fully, wriggling to adjust her weight. Then she started to ride me. I held my breath. Bit my lip. Strained for control. I couldn't bear it. I didn't want to finish before she did but I was fairly sure I was going to. I gritted my teeth and felt myself start to come.
“Darby!” I yelled.
She started to pant and cry out and soon she was shivering and bucking. I grabbed her waist and forcefully bucked myself into her to release. Our juices mixed together as the air began to fill with nothing but deep breaths.
We lay side by side. I let my hand stroke her sweet skin.
“Darby,” I whispered.
She smiled up at me.
“Jared,” she said. “Wow. That was...amazing.”
I nodded. “It was.”
We lay side by side for a while. I felt my body cooling off. She rolled over and lay in the curve of my arms. I must have fallen asleep for a few minutes because when I woke up she was gently stroking my wrist.
“Cool drawing,” she said.
I closed my eyes. My heart sank. She was looking at my gang-sign, a tattoo in the shape of a wheel with a kind of pattern inside it.
“Don't ask me about it,” I said coldly. I pulled my arm away from her.
She rolled over. Her blue eyes were hard.
“Don't tell me what to do,” she said angrily. She sat up and started reaching for her clothes.
I felt my heart crimp inside of me.
“No!” I protested. “Darby...please...”
She shook her head.
“No, Mr. Wise-ass You can quit that tone with me or you can get outta here.”
I bridled. This was my apartment, after all. I considered saying that, but knew that would make things much worse. I looked at my hands.
“I can't tell you why I said that,” I said.
She laughed. “At this moment, that's not the point. It's how you said it.”
“How I said it?” I rolled my eyes. “Come on, Darbs. I'm a guy. I don't think about these things.”
She made a small, bitter noise. “Oh, yeah,” she said. “I forget that. Big brave guys who are so invulnerable they can't have any feelings – it'd break their egos.”
I bridled. “Come on, Darbs.”
“No, I won't,” she spat. Her eyes blazed at me. Then, to my complete confusion, she started to cry.
She sat down on the bed and covered her face with her hands. I had no idea what to do.
“Darby?” I said. “Hey...”
I did the only thing I knew to do. I sat down beside her. Put my arm round her. Kissed the side of her head.
She tensed, but to my surprise she didn't push me away.
“Hey, Darby,” I said gently. “It's okay. Look, I'm sorry.”
She turned and stared at me.
“Really?”
I made a surprised noise. “Sure!” I really was.
She chuckled. “Well, that's a first.”
Now I was confused. “What do you mean?”
She sighed. “First time I heard a guy say sorry.”
I stared at her. “What?”
She sniffed. “Yeah. The last guy I knew would have needed to be with the FBI in a basement to get the words out of his lips.”
I chuckled. Then saw she was serious. “What happened?”
She sniffed. “He was... not a nice guy,” she said slowly.
I closed my eyes. “He thought he could treat women like they were nothing?” I asked.
She blinked. “How'd you guess?”
I let out a long breath. “Because well... besides the fact that I guess I was an asshole like that sometimes, I've seen guys like that.”
“Mm?”
She made an inquiring noise but she didn't ask me what I meant, which was good. I was thinking about my dad. He had been just that kind of asshole. He'd never said sorry. Not for anything.
I made myself a promise right then. I would never be like that.
“Darby,” I said.
“Mm?”
“I...” I cleared my throat. “I'll always say sorry,” I said.
She blinked at me. “Jared?”
I instantly felt embarrassed. “I mean, not like... not like I think I'll be saying it a lot. I mean, I don't think I'll be seeing you a lot. Not necessarily. I mean... I'm screwing up, right?”
She chuckled. “You managed to steer yourself round some icebergs,” she said.
“Huh?”
She sighed. “I mean, you had some near misses in what you said. I nearly, what was the word...? I nearly blasted you.”
“Put me on blast,” I corrected automatically.
She laughed. “Okay. Fine. Teach me slang.”
I laughed. “I will.”
I did.
By the time we had finished discussing some of the more bizarre and more whacky street words for things, we were both laughing again.
“I gotta go,” she said. I nodded.
“Me too.”
We looked at each other. She reached out and very gently touched my hand. I squeezed hers.
“Stay safe, huh?” I said.
“You, too.”
We sat like that for a while. Then, slowly, she stood. Started dressing.
When she had gone I couldn't stop thinking about what she'd said.
I rushed to work but I was still late. The guys accepted my reappearance without asking me anything. I was pleased.
I couldn't stop thinking about what Darby had said about guys and their egos.
“Cody?” I asked when we were changing at the end of the day.
“Yeah?” He asked from inside the depths of his sweatshirt.
“You ever apologized to a girl before?”
He emerged out of the shirt and stared at me with such a surprised face I laughed.
“Sure I have,” he said. “Haven't you?”
I nodded. “Sure I have,” I lied. In truth, I'd never had much opportunity until yesterday. I'd never really had a girlfriend before.
“Why do you ask?” he asked.
“Just...” I frowned. “Someone said lots of men wouldn't do that.”
“Oh?” He shrugged. “Lots of assholes out there,” he explained.
I nodded. “Yeah.”
I felt ashamed of the fact that, until recently, I had been one of those assholes. I kept on thinking about girls I had mistreated in the past. Used, taken advantage of. It seemed like my new feelings for Darby were raising all those incidents in my mind.
I was an asshole.
I wished I could undo those memories. But, unfortunately, like the tattoo on my wrist, they were stuck with me.
I wished I'd told Darby about that.
It would have made me feel better about it, I reflected, looking down at the mark where it showed up, black against the dark tan of my skin. If someone knew who I'd been, it might make it easier to forget about it. For it to be the me that was, not the me that is.
“Shit, Jared,” I whistled. “You're getting all psyched out.”
I laughed. I was probably being a bit complicated about all this. I mean, I liked Darby. Okay, more than liked her. I felt like she knew me in a way no-one else on earth knew me. But she didn't really like me. She was just there for the fun of it.
It was better, I reflected as I cooked my dinner, if I thought about it that way.
I was not going to get too attached to her.