~Leslie~
They’d taken Blake’s car, against her wishes.
It was Wedding Saturday. The big one, the one where Blake would be her assistant. She’d had it all planned out to the last detail.
Among the details was the matter of transportation. This was her business, so she’d take her car. Done and done. Except for the flat tire that Blake had pointed out when he’d arrived at the rental house to help her pack up her supplies.
“What is that?!” she’d shrieked at it, squinting at the tire and daring it to continue being flat when she didn’t have time for that foolishness.
“A flat tire,” Blake said, studying it with her.
“I know what it is,” she muttered. “But today isn’t the day for this. Not today, Satan!” She looked over at Blake.
“Are you talking to me?” he asked. “Because no one has called me Satan as many times as you have and –”
“No,” she’d said, still looking at him. “It’s just… what am I going to do?! I can’t drive on a flat tire!”
“You can change it,” he said as though this was any kind of answer. “We can change it right this minute.”
Theoretically. Except she never had. And she wasn’t sure if she could.
Women’s liberation be dashed to pieces around her feet, sure, but she’d never needed to change a flat. Because hello? Travis was always there.
She’d looked back at Blake.
He’d known. Somehow her silence had informed him of this embarrassing truth. “You don’t know how to change a flat tire, do you?”
“I’m sure I could Google it,” she said.
“Yeah,” he’d said, a grin on his face, knowing more than she cared for him to know. “And before Google there was Travis, huh?”
Yes. Her big brother, always to the rescue.
“Today’s your lucky day,” Blake had said. “You’re going to learn how to change a tire. I’m going to teach you.”
“I don’t have time to learn,” she said, looking at her watch. “We need to leave in the next five minutes!”
Even with her insistence that it couldn’t be helped, Leslie still felt a little perturbed that they were going to the wedding in his car five minutes later, with plans for that tire changing lesson later.
Childish, yes. And she’d felt plenty convicted about it until ten miles down the road, when a familiar song came on the radio and Blake pumped up the volume.
Oh, that song.
She could remember dancing with him out in the dark shadows of Travis’s yard, holding him close, inhaling his scent, and closing her eyes as he’d placed tender kisses along her neck. Her heart had been full and so alive, threatening to beat right out of her chest as she’d listened to him whisper lyrics about love, about no one else…
Even all these years later, she felt her face grow hot at the memories of how much farther it had gone, how it still hadn’t been enough, and how he’d left with both of them still very bothered, worked up, hot…
Could he not remember that?
Oh, he could. There was a faint blush to his own skin as he listened to the song and continued to drive.
“I remember this song,” Blake said, nodding his head to the music. “Our song, you always said. Well, it was. Actually, you know what? It still is. I can’t hear it all these years later and not think of high school and –”
He stopped talking when he noticed that she was rolling down her window rather dramatically.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“You’re letting loose all kinds of demons by playing this screeching,” she said. “I’m giving them a place to be released to.”
“Demons?” he asked, glancing over at her. “That’s kind of harsh. It’s not like it –”
She was waving the air now. “Every note is like a remembrance of how stupid I was back then,” she said. “Releasing all my demons right now. Fly away, bad memories! Begone with you, horrible past! Free, I tell you! FREE!”
He glanced over at her, a smile still on his lips. “You were always a drama queen. The cupcake queen and a drama queen.”
Had she always been such a drama queen? Probably. She cringed remembering the way she’d looked the first time he’d told her he loved her. After a football game of all places, out in the parking lot next to his old car, which wasn’t at all romantic. He was sweaty and tired, the grime of the game still on him because he’d rushed from the fieldhouse without a shower, just for the opportunity to see her. She hadn’t cared, though. She’d take him anyway she could have him, and she’d had stars in her eyes as he’d cleared the distance between them, his eyes on her. He’d lowered his voice just so, leaned up next to her, his hand to her face delicately, pulling out everything he could from his smooth teenage boy’s bag of tricks…
I love you, Leslie Collins.
That’s all it had taken. He’d said it and probably not really meant it, yet still expected her to cry, to get emotional, to be what every teenage girl was supposed to be, like all of his friends expected.
But she wasn’t like every other girl.
No, Leslie had thrown her hands wide and twirled around, yelling to the world around them as she laughed gleefully, giving testimony to anyone near and far of her new confession. “I love you, Blake Young!” she’d shouted, as though there was never a truth more worthy of being proclaimed. Then, she’d thrown herself into her arms and shown him just how she felt.
Yep. Always a drama queen.
Was he remembering it like she was?
“Stop smiling like that,” Leslie muttered.
“You don’t even know why I’m smiling,” he said, still grinning.
“Praise the Lord for that,” she said, pulling her phone out and vowing to ignore him.
But he couldn’t take a hint.
“So tell me about this wedding,” he said.
“What do you want to know?” she asked, at least attempting to put something besides coldness in her voice. She was going to be better, right? She’d been convicted enough on his account to last a lifetime.
She looked over at him, waiting for it.
“Well, it doesn’t look like we’re driving anywhere,” he said, noting the road ahead. “It’s all remote and empty out here.”
“Makes for incredible sunsets,” she said, glad for the topic change from teenage memories to business. “Which is the whole point at this particular venue. It’s all secluded and remote, but it makes for rustic and phenomenal scenery, as you’d imagine. The people who own the land have transformed it into a hot event location, following the example of some other folks this far out. They’re making a fortune. The prices they can charge are astronomical, and the demand has only increased. Their calendars are booked solid.”
“How so?” Blake asked. “There aren’t that many people that even live out here.”
“They’re drawing brides from Dallas,” she said. “Trade shows and expos, featuring these big sky weddings. Brides from the metro areas in the state. San Antonio. Austin. Lubbock. Even as far as Houston.”
“Really?” he asked, dumbfounded. “People do destination weddings like that?”
Oh, men. How little they knew.
“This is hardly a destination wedding,” she said. “It’s Texas. And most of these brides are from somewhere in state. The one today is from Fort Worth. Destination wedding implies a considerable distance traveled.” She took a breath, considering this. “Although all things considered, I guess there is some significant travel. Sure has opened the doors for more commerce out here, bringing in guests and tourism. Along with the oil business, which is particularly booming, as you might have guessed, given that Travis’s business has doubled in value since high school.”
“Doubled?” Blake asked, his eyes growing wider.
“Yeah,” she said. “Not that he’ll ever sell it and cash in, but he could retire now, in his thirties.”
“Wow,” Blake sighed. “Retiring in his thirties.”
“He could afford it,” Leslie said. “But he won’t. He likes his work.”
“If he can afford that,” Blake commented, “I guess that means he can afford these pricy weddings out here, huh? Did Brooke and Jordan use one of these places?”
“Oh, no,” Leslie said. “They got married at the church. A small ceremony. Just like Travis and Avery. It was more about the covenant ceremony for them than it was about the party.”
Leslie had appreciated this about her siblings and their spouses. The weddings and the relationships both had been about Christ and honoring Him above everything else. Jesus wasn’t brought into their love stories – their love stories had grown out of their individual relationships with the Lord. Because of it, they had true covenant marriages, honoring Christ and making Him known.
“I like that,” Blake said. “More about the covenant ceremony than the party. I was in a wedding like that last summer.”
“Were you?” Leslie asked, looking over at him and wondering for the first time what the past six years had been like for him.
“Yeah,” he said, smiling as he drove. “My roommate from seminary got married to a girl from the mission field, home on furlough. A lot like your sister, actually, with the way she talked about ministry. Life as ministry, she always said. Admirable and convicting, that.”
He glanced over at her, understanding in his eyes. She wasn’t sure how he could understand how she felt, thinking about Holly and how far away she was, but she found herself believing that he did.
“Anyway, he was pastoring a church already,” he said. “Studying so he could be better equipped to serve his church. Not planning on doing anything but staying the course in ministry, right? And he met her. She came to the church to talk about missions, trying to get some excitement generated for the annual missions offering. They talked afterwards about what God was doing overseas, what He was doing at that church, and…” He shrugged, smiling. “Well, they kept talking. And God kept working in their hearts regarding their ministry, then regarding one another. And though neither one of them had been expecting it, their feelings changed. It’s like God was in it all along because they minister together now. Better together for ministry than they were apart, and then, He gave them love on top of that.”
Better together.
Leslie was self-sufficient. Well, except when it came to changing flat tires. But that aside, she couldn’t imagine meeting a man who had her thinking that she was better with him than apart from him.
But maybe God would do this in her life. And she had to admit, being back home and seeing Travis and Avery, then Jordan and Brooke, all while she was on her own…
… well, maybe she wanted more one day.
That wasn’t a new feeling. She’d felt it before, back when she’d first met Blake, so long ago. And then, she hadn’t wanted for anything because when she was with him, she had everything she’d ever wanted.
First love. Foolish, foolish, foolish…
“That’s the kind of thing I want one day,” Blake said softly.
“Hmm?” Leslie managed, thinking of those younger days.
“A love that’s a gift from God, that honors Him and brings Him glory,” he said. “Someone who makes me better… someone I can make better, too.”
Wouldn’t that be something? Finding a man who made her better.
She glanced over at Blake again, thinking about him at that youth event, about the good he was trying to do in their town. Both of them were, weren’t they? Working towards the same ends, towards making their town better. Maybe her business wasn’t about honoring Christ as much as it was about making money.
Maybe she was rethinking these things… just because of Blake and the things she’d been hearing him say.
What in the world? What was she even thinking?
“What are you thinking?” Blake asked, drawing her out of her thoughts.
“I’m thinking,” she said, reminding herself to keep her mind on what really mattered, “that we’ve got a lot of work to do once we get there.”
This cupcake creation was more elaborate than all the ones she’d done before.
She didn’t let Blake know that as she laid out the plans for him after they’d brought in all the boxes and taken them right up to the table the wedding coordinator’s team had pointed out to them. No, as she’d slipped her apron on and handed him one as well, she’d acted as though she did this kind of thing all the time.
She was only mildly alarmed to admit to herself that her reasoning behind the forced casualness was because she wanted him to be impressed.
He’d been plenty impressed as she’d handed him the wire stands she’d crafted herself that would hold everything in place, allowing her cupcakes to take the shapes and the edges and the cascades and the embellishments that she’d promised the eager bride who had already passed along her name to several friends who were going to be clients as well. Blake had been very impressed, in fact, as she’d uncovered the goods – the sugary, immaculately decorated goods – with a flourish, holding her breath at how gorgeous they were. He’d been impressed as they’d started constructing the cake together, efficiently and concisely, moving together as though they’d been working side by side forever.
He was impressed. And he was cute in that apron.
She dismissed this unhelpful thought as he grinned at her.
“This is pretty cool,” he said, looking over their work. “You do this every weekend?”
“Most weekends,” she murmured, moving one of the cupcakes over a quarter of an inch. “I’m booked solid the next few months.”
“That’s great, Leslie,” he said. “I’m really impressed with how –”
“Hey.”
Leslie and Blake both looked up from the cake at the same time.
The most gorgeous man in the room was standing there at the table, a camera in his hand. Well, “most gorgeous” wasn’t saying much because there weren’t a whole lot of men in the room yet, but Leslie was confident that even once the room was brimming full of people, this guy would still be the hottest man there.
Hands down.
Leslie could feel Blake stiffen up beside her in response, as if he could almost read her mind.
“Sawyer,” she said, her eyes back on her work, totally and completely unaffected by the photographer, no matter how good he looked. No, she was more aware of Blake than she was of Sawyer.
What was that about?
“How are you?” she asked, her attention on her work.
“Ready for this show to get on the road,” Sawyer said, scanning the room. “All day wedding.”
Leslie nodded knowingly. “Well, for you. Bride got you here at the crack of dawn to get some shots, didn’t she?”
“You know it,” he said. “She and all the bridesmaids are staying in the guest house, and she wanted me there to get pictures of them getting ready. Which is standard, of course, with a wedding this size. What’s not standard is having me there while they all stripped down to their underwear to get changed after they got their hair and makeup done.”
She smiled at him while Blake nearly dropped a cupcake. “Bride’s got a thing for you, huh?”
“I hope not,” he said. “I managed to squeeze out of there before I saw too much, and she was screeching about how I was paid to be there. So, if she had something for me, she’s probably over it by now because I left.”
“Drama queen,” she breathed as she continued to work. She shot a look over at Blake, but he merely smiled.
She’d been a drama queen once, of course. Hadn’t he just mentioned that?
“The bridal portraits a few months ago nearly did me in with this one,” he said. “I’ve got to get a better system of vetting these insane brides. The whole theatrical side to it all is really turning me off to the idea of continuing on in this line of work.”
“Maybe you should move from taking pictures of people and just do scenery shots,” she said. “Which I’m assuming is what you’re here for now. Shots of the unfiltered light through the windows, onto the ballroom floor. The table settings –”
“The cake,” he said, lifting up his camera and getting a shot of her arranging another cupcake. “This one is really great, Leslie.”
It was. She was proud that of all the ones she’d done, this is the one that Blake was seeing.
He smiled over at her.
“I appreciate that,” she said, not sure if she meant Sawyer’s words or the look in Blake’s eyes.
“Enough that I can get a cupcake to snack on?” Sawyer asked.
“Well, here,” she said, holding one out to him. “This is one of the extras that I didn’t end up needing. All yours, as well earned payment for putting up with all the bridal drama that’s heading your way.”
He winked at her, and Leslie could see Blake frown from his spot behind the table.
“You’re the best,” Sawyer said, popping the tiny cupcake into his mouth whole. Then, as he’d finished chewing, “You know Hayden is going to be over here looking for his.”
Hayden was his assistant and a mastermind at handling dramatic brides. He was probably in over his head today.
“He can keep looking,” she said. “I’ve only got one extra one now, and that one is going to Blake.” He looked up, surprised by this. Almost as surprised as she was by the blush that came to her cheeks.
She wasn’t even sure what she was thinking, honestly. Saying these things, feeling this strange new tenderness, still being irritated –
“Blake,” Sawyer said, looking at the other man.
Leslie remembered her manners, finally. “Blake, this is Sawyer Finn, the wedding photographer. He and I have worked… well, quite a few weddings together. Sawyer, this is Blake Young. He’s filling in for Holly.”
“Good to meet you,” Sawyer answered, shaking his hand. “I heard Holly had taken off for bigger and better. Overseas, right?”
“Right. Can’t really fault her for her reasons,” Leslie sighed.
“About to lose Hayden to a similar fate,” Sawyer sighed with her.
“Overseas missions?” she asked with interest.
“Just overseas,” Sawyer grinned. “Backpacking through Italy, last I heard of his plans.”
“You’ll need to find a new assistant,” she said.
He gave her a withering look.
She understood the feeling. “I’m telling you as someone who knows.”
“You found an assistant.” He nodded at Blake.
Yes, she had. And she was feeling strangely appreciative of him as he stood back and looked at the cake critically, adjusting things as he peered at her plans.
“I did,” she sighed.
“I’ll get around to finding one myself,” he said.
“Do it sooner rather than later, Sawyer,” she warned him. “The season gets busy and will get away from you if you’re not careful.”
“I’m sure the perfect assistant will just fall into my lap at the right moment,” he said confidently. “Thanks for the cupcake. I’ve gotta go and get some shots of the venue before the hysteria begins.” He nodded over to Blake. “Nice to meet you, man.”
Leslie smiled as she watched him walk away, turning her attention back to the cake after a few moments.
And back to Blake, who was watching Sawyer walk away with an indecipherable look on his face.
What was that about?
“Nice guy,” he said, and she could hear the cynicism in his voice.
“Sawyer?” she asked, adjusting some of the work Blake had done, making it look perfect. “He is a nice guy. So’s his assistant, who should be around at some point as well.”
But Blake wasn’t listening. “You ever date him?” he asked.
“I haven’t dated anyone since high school,” she said, surprised to hear herself admit this to him.
He seemed surprised to hear it. “I haven’t either,” he offered a second later. “Well, not seriously.”
He had dated then. Of course, he had. Why wouldn’t he? He hadn’t been ruined like she had by their relationship in high school.
That one relationship and its end had been enough. How could she put herself out there again like that when her heart had been ripped to complete shreds the way it had?
She wasn’t inclined to let him know this, but she had to be honest… but not completely pathetic.
“Hmm,” she said thoughtfully, looking back at Sawyer. “You know, that might not be a bad idea, Blake. Dating Sawyer. I mean, he’s a good guy. Loves the Lord, has a job…”
“My, aren’t you picky,” Blake murmured sarcastically.
Was he jealous?
She wasn’t entirely sure. But she couldn’t resist the urge to poke at him now that he’d just admitted that he’d gone on after breaking her heart and dated again.
“The pickiest,” she said. “Because it’s hard to find guys who fit those criteria believe it or not.”
“A good guy. Loves Jesus. Has a job.” He repeated these criteria for her. “It’s difficult to find a man who is all of those things? Is that what you’re saying?”
“Exactly,” she said, thinking about how she’d probably never find a man who could deal with her trust issues. “It’s like looking for unicorns.”
“I’m all those things,” he said.
And they traded an uncomfortable glance.
“You aren’t suggesting that I date you, are you?” she asked, incredulous at the ridiculous idea –
Except… well…
She hadn’t been thinking of him like that. Not in any real sense. But there it was now, reminding her that she’d never be able to look at Blake without remembering who they’d been, how she’d felt… how she still felt deep down in a part of her heart that she didn’t want to acknowledge.
She didn’t love him. How could she still love him after all they’d been through?
“Because the two of us,” she went on, more for herself than him at this point, “it’s just –”
“No,” he said, backing away from his words now. “It’s just –”
“We’ve been there, done that,” she said, hearing the emotion in her voice as she thought about it, as she felt what she did despite the history. “And it didn’t end well, remember?”
He nodded. “Yeah, I think about it every day of my life, Leslie.”
She stared at him for a long moment. Did he? Why would he? After the way he’d broken her heart, why would –
“I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life,” he said, his eyes on hers, his voice lowered. “And leaving you… the way that we ended things…”
What? What was he saying?
She couldn’t hear it now. Not now, when she was trying to work.
So she turned away before he could see the tears that this brought to her eyes, ashamed and confused by her own troubled heart.
They drove home much later, with all of Leslie’s equipment in the back of Blake’s car and a hollow feeling in her chest.
She usually ended these nights with confidence and satisfaction. She was a businesswoman making a way for herself, becoming every bit as successful as her brother, and there was nothing quite like having finished a job with excellence.
But tonight, there was just a strange and new sense of peace and contentment that had nothing to do with pride or self-assurance.
It was Blake. It was being with him like this.
The agitation and confusion she’d felt with him earlier in the day had dissipated as he’d worked alongside her. This was the story more often than not these days, though, she reminded herself, thinking of the day with Jordan and Brooke and how she’d left that encounter feeling things…
Feeling things. That was dumb. So dumb. Just like it had been dumb to follow him onto the dance floor at the end of the reception like she had. She was a professional, and her place was by her cake, ready to box up what little was left, to gather up her supplies, and to get everything ready to move on and move out.
But Blake had been insistent, gently tugging her out there while he was still wearing her spare apron and smiling at her.
“I don’t dance at these things,” she’d said, as he’d started moving with the music, her hands still in his, his earlier words in her mind. “And judging by the way you’re gyrating like you’re having a seizure, neither do you.”
“I’m a Baptist pastor,” he shrugged, still dancing. “Not a one of us can dance. Especially not like that guy.”
He’d nodded over at Sawyer, who was in the big middle of a cluster of single women, all of them cheering as they tugged on him and he snapped pictures. Candid shots of the bride and her friends, he’d probably say. Except the bride had been behind him, holding onto his hips and shaking with him as he moved to the music, and it –
The music had changed to a slower song.
“Really, Blake,” she’d murmured, pulling back. “I need to –”
But he’d just held her closer. And she’d let him, holding him back, closing her eyes, and talking herself down from all the feelings that had begun to wash over her again…
“You cold?”
Back in his car, she blinked against the memories, old and new, and shook her head at him. “No, I’m fine. Thanks for… thanks for your help today.”
“No problem,” he said softly.
“I hope I didn’t pull you away from anything important,” she said.
“Just planned on doing a little work on the house, but this was way better,” he said. “The house will be there later.”
House.
“You… you bought a house?” she asked.
“I did,” he smiled, glancing over at her. “Where else would I be living?”
A rental like she was living in. Or an apartment. Or, possibly –
“I don’t know,” she said. “I thought maybe you were back at your parents’ house. Maybe.”
A shadow passed over his features. “Why would you think that?” he asked slowly. “Because I’m some loser who moves in with his parents?”
What? No. That wasn’t what she’d been thinking at all.
“No,” she said. “It’s just with the building you bought… well, I figured that would leave you strapped for cash. For a while, at least. Until you’d been at the job for a while.” She took a breath. “I don’t think you’re a loser.”
She’d been acting like she thought it, though. But she honestly didn’t. Not in any real sense.
“Sorry,” he said, his expression lightening. He took a deep breath. “I’d never live with my parents again.”
She could understand that. With as much as she loved and respected Travis, she couldn’t imagine moving back into his house.
“I totally get that,” she said. “Living with Travis again would be weird. Even weirder now that he’s married and starting his own family. Or not, since he and Avery don’t seem to be in any rush to have kids.”
Blake said nothing for a long moment.
She kept talking to cover the silence.
“Which is their business, not mine,” she said, only vaguely realizing that she was stammering on and on – chitty chitty chat, like Travis always accused her of doing – as she continued. “But he’s certainly not getting any younger. So, you know.”
Blake drew in a long breath and glanced her direction again. “Can I tell you something?” he asked.
“Sure,” she said, feeling more than a little charitable after the way he’d helped her out. That and, to be honest, very curious.
“My parents are nothing like Travis,” he said. “And my childhood home… was nothing like yours, Leslie.”
She considered these words, turning them over and over in her mind. He’d never introduced her to his parents, not once in all the time they were dating. After their relationship was over, she’d explained it with the non-comforting truth that he’d never really cared about her and that was why he’d kept her far from his home life, from that part of him that he never allowed her to know.
But maybe it had been something else.
She knew more than she had back then. She knew about broken families, mainly thanks to Dana, her college roommate, and all that she walked through with her young students. Had Leslie been naïve about these things when she was younger, having had the benefit of a stable home, even if she hadn’t had parents? Maybe it wasn’t naivete as much as it was envy, that she had imagined that anyone with two parents at home would have it so much better than she did with her parents both gone.
But it wasn’t true. The Sanders family, even though they were stable and healthy, had been given their fair share of trouble with Ben and his illness.
What was Blake’s story?
“What do you mean?” she asked.
“My dad is hard to live with,” he said, a wry smile on his face, one that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “He’s always been hard to live with. And I can’t believe that my mom still manages it, all these years later.”
Leslie knew Blake was an only child. She knew that from when they’d been together, along with vague details about how his mom worked several different jobs, and his dad…
She couldn’t remember him saying much about his dad at all, come to think of it.
“They still live in town?” she asked softly.
“They live in the trailer park outside of town,” he corrected her. “Still. Yes. It’s where I grew up.”
She hadn’t known this. And she could guess the reasons why as he looked over at her, looking for a reaction.
He expected a certain reaction from her. What was it? Was he expecting judgment from her?
Why in the world?
“Okay,” she said, her face blank. “That’s not too far from the house I grew up in.”
Blake shook his head, the smile on his face now just a little cynical. “Not quite. Maybe the house you were in before… well, before your parents’ accident. But even then, not quite the same neighborhood.”
What difference did that make?
She wasn’t sure if she should ask the question or not, but Blake kept her from needing to make the decision either way.
“My dad doesn’t work,” he said. “He doesn’t do much of anything but complain. And bully people. That’s how I spent my childhood there. And high school, too.”
And Leslie could remember, very dimly, how Blake would look at Travis, the way that he would try to impress him at church, the way he was always so carefully respectful even when Travis was being a butthead with his rules, and –
Leslie had always thought it was about impressing Travis for her benefit. But maybe Blake had seen in her brother something that was lacking at home.
And if his father had been really bad, if he’d made Blake’s life miserable –
“He’s a miserable guy,” Blake said, watching the road ahead of him. “Has been since he got my mom pregnant their last year of high school. With me, of course.” He shrugged. “My mom says they were first loves. But I don’t see a lot of love there.”
First loves. Teen pregnancy. A lifetime of sad regret…
She felt a knot in her throat, thinking of Blake and how he’d always kept her from crossing a line with him that she’d been so desperate to cross. He hadn’t been his father in that way or in any way that she could see now, knowing him as the man he’d grown into. What was the difference? What had made the difference?
“But God can change their hearts,” he said, shrugging. “And I pray for that. For them. But I can’t live there.”
That was the difference. Christ had made the difference.
“Have you seen them since you’ve been back in town?” she asked. “I mean, during college. Did you come back and see them?”
“Not as often as I probably should have,” he said. “Trust me. I have a lot of regret. And a lot of doubts from the past. But I try. I mean, I’m trying to do a better job now. Maybe they’ll see Christ in me. I pray for that.”
She got that, and she appreciated him anew for it.
“You’re a good man, Blake,” she said softly.
She was surprised to hear it. Not because she didn’t mean it but because she felt free to say it.
He seemed pleased, though, his smile genuine as he reached across the front seat, put his hand on hers and squeezed.
Later on that night, after he’d taught her how to change her tire and had told her goodnight after thanking her for letting him help her (even though it was her who should have been thanking him), she thought about all these confusing emotions she was now feeling towards Blake, how none of them fit into what she’d purposed about feeling nothing at all.
Her emotions. Her feelings. She couldn’t trust them, just like she couldn’t trust them back in high school… could she?
The only answer was the way that she felt, her heart softening towards Blake all over again.