Harley started acting like his old self until he got another phone call late in the morning. This time it was his mom, and she told him that she called on purpose during the day while Harley’s dad was at work.

I did my best to stay occupied while he was on the phone for almost half an hour. I tried to avoid eavesdropping, but I heard the distress in his voice. I felt my stone in my stomach growing larger by the minute as I worried about the phone call.

Harley talked to his mom in the living room. He stood by the floor-to-ceiling windows and stared out at the city of Charlotte while he listened to her. I retreated to the bedroom and busied myself with cleaning chores. I didn’t have a lot to do because I hired a young man to come in and clean my apartment twice a month.

I stripped the sheets from the bed and balled them up to go into the washing machine off the main hallway in my apartment. I smiled when I put the lube and condoms away in the nightstand drawer. I’d gone through a long period without intimate contacts before Harley. He made the wait worth it. I easily could have waited twice as long if I knew that he was on the way.

After I stuffed the sheets and some other clothes into the washing machine, Mo called me. He said, “Jack decided he wants to go out tonight. Will you be going out with Javier? Can we join you?”

I said, “Of course. I’ll bring Harley, the new guy, along. That’s okay, too, isn’t it?”

“Oh, yeah, and I’ll see if I can rouse Aaron and Chase. I’ll give Aaron a nudge during batting practice. He’s turning into a hermit and needs to get out more.”

“It’s going to feel like old times.”

Mo said, “I know. I miss it, but you know how Jack is with crowds. It’s not his thing, but he said he needs to get his nose out of the books for an evening. He’s going to the game, and we’ll go out after. The evening night might be enough for Jack for the next couple of weeks.”

I pulled the vacuum cleaner out of the hall closet and switched it on to run around the bedroom even though it was unnecessary. It helped shut out the sound of Harley on the phone and made me feel like I was getting something productive accomplished. I shoved it under the edge of the bed and heard the clatter of unknown objects sucked into the machine. My cleaning man was missing some spots.

I thought about Harley and his brother Sam. Despite my desire to encourage them all to take it in stride, I knew that one member coming out had the power to disrupt the structure of an entire family.

I was fortunate. I grew up in a buttoned-up suburb outside of Atlanta, but if anyone scratched beneath the surface, they would find all sorts of interesting and unique situations in our family. We were from the South, and it was our birthright to have skeletons rattling in our closets.

We managed all of the issues under the watchful eyes of my two sets of grandparents. All four of them constantly encouraged us to avoid sweating the small things. They believed life in all of its complications was to be lived as fully as possible.

Shortly after I turned the vacuum cleaner off, I realized there was silence in the living room. I pushed the machine into the tiny hall closet and wedged the door shut before heading for the living room. I sighed to myself when I saw Harley seated on the couch with his head in his hands.

I joined him and scooted close wrapping an arm around his shoulders. I asked, “Was it that bad? Did you keep in mind our conversation earlier?”

Harley looked up. His eyes were damp and glistening. He said, “It would be so fucking easy if it were only about me understanding Sam. I think that’s where we were at breakfast.”

I nodded. “Yep, that’s where we were. What’s up now?”

“My dad.” He set his jaw and growled, “My fucking father.”

It sounded like Harley’s family had a classic complicating factor. At least one of his parents was not okay with Sam being gay. I asked, “Is he upset about it?”

“Well, I guess the good part is that he hasn’t thrown Sam out of the house. Apparently, he told mom that he thought he should do that. She told me that she threatened to leave if he tried to do that. She said, ‘I told him that we’re sending him the bill for the hotel room if he tries to kick her son out of the house.’ They’ve decided to postpone coming to Charlotte to see me play.”

I wanted to come up with something brilliantly reassuring. Instead, I mumbled, “I guess it could be worse.”

“But fuck, are you thinking down the road at all, Eric?”

“What do you mean? Sam’s what, fifteen? It won’t be that long before he goes to college or moves out on his own.”

Harley shook his head. “I’m not talking about Sam, now. My dad has another son that’s gay. The pride and joy of the Donaldson clan is sleeping with another man. The son that’s made him a celebrity in southern Indiana is gay, too.”

I squeezed Harley’s shoulder. “Aww, damn, yeah, sorry for not thinking it through. He won’t necessarily have any easier of a time with you. I understand that.”

Harley ran his right hand over the top of his head. “I think it will be twice as bad. How do I handle all of this and still play baseball? This is the worst time for all of this to happen. Shit, if I was going to come out, I should have done it in high school.”

I raised an eyebrow and wrinkled my forehead. “Did you know then?”

Harley turned to face me. His eyes were still glassy. “If I’d been paying attention to myself, yeah. Surely, the first time you saw me isn’t the first time you had a clue, is it? I’ve got an ego, but I know that I’m not that much of a stud.” I was happy to hear Harley chuckle softly. His sense of humor wasn’t gone. It only had a few dark thunderclouds hanging over it.

I nodded. “I had some clues. Do you know how I knew, or I guess I should say, how I could have guessed? I pretended that I didn’t know.”

“How would I know? I wasn’t there.”

I laughed. “That’s a good point. Anyway, I got horned up when I watched boy bands in music videos. It’s a little embarrassing to admit that, even to you. I told myself it was because I wanted to hang out with crowds of friends like they did in the videos. Unfortunately, that didn’t explain why I loved to see the band members shirtless. Now I know why, but boy bands. Why couldn’t I be into famous movie stars?”

Harley grinned. “When I was watching baseball games by myself on cable while my family was gone or they were doing other shit, so they didn’t have to watch baseball for the five thousandth time, I watched certain things carefully. I’d freeze the game, and then rewind it to watch the clip over again when I saw players touching themselves down there. I loved seeing them adjust themselves or grab their package. Sometimes even when it was a quick, short shot, I’d freeze it so I could look as long as I wanted.”

Eric asked, “And did you ever jack off?”

“Well, shit yeah. I was a teenager. I came like four times a day almost every day. My sister complained about how many showers I took and how much time I spent in the bathroom. My sister!”

I laughed and squeezed Harley’s shoulders firmly. I leaned in and kissed him. I asked, “So what is your dad doing? Is he awful? Is there anything abusive? You know, that’s a horrible thing to think about your parents, but I have to ask.”

Harley said, “I’m glad you’re asking it, and no, it doesn’t sound like it. From what my mom is saying, he won’t talk to Sam. He’s giving him a little bit of a silent treatment, but that’s his way of coping with anything he doesn’t like that his kids do. He gave Lily the silent treatment for a while when she dated this guy who was the son of a guy who worked with my dad. Since Dad didn’t like the guy, he thought Lily shouldn’t date the guy’s son. He can be selfish that way.”

I rubbed my hand up over the buzz cut on Harley’s head. “It does sound like it could be a whole lot worse, but I’ll help out, and we’ll work through this. I can’t wait until I get to meet Sam. He’s following in his big brother’s footsteps.” I chuckled softly.

“At least he’s sorting it out a whole lot earlier. That’s the smart thing to do.”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. If you’d dealt with it earlier, you’d probably be married by now to some other lucky guy. I like to think you were waiting for me. Deep down in the back of your mind, you knew that I was out there.”