I left my little house behind the next morning and I didn’t look back. After saying my goodbyes to Emma and David, I traveled east. I found a little cabin in the woods for rent in Virginia and shut myself in for a while. And by a while, I mean, several months. I cried and wrote and then cried some more. I don’t know if healing is the word I would use for what I did but I got back to some semblance of normalcy after a while. With no distractions, I finished a new project for my publisher in record time.

I stayed in touch with Emma of course, checking in on her and the bump daily. Being in the cabin alone for the most part wasn’t bad. There was a lot of time to reflect, both inward and outward. I thought a lot about myself, what I had been through, what I wanted. I thought a lot about how I left, what happened. Despite my efforts, I still thought about Samuel. We never spoke again after I left. He never even reached out to me. Not that I blamed him.

But here I was, eight months later, heading back to Louisville to see Emma and be there for her as she welcomed her baby girl into the world. She asked me knowing full well I would never refuse the request. I was going to stay with her and David starting a week before her due date and I probably wouldn’t leave until a few weeks after the baby was born. I could never tell Emma no, especially when it came to something as magical as this.

Ironically enough, they moved into the house I rented while I was there. They didn’t want to be living in their apartment when the baby came. They needed more room. And given that my place had two bedrooms, it was the perfect space for their growing family. If I had one goal while I was there, it was to avoid seeing Samuel. It’s not like he would know I was there. He wasn’t going to stop by unexpectedly but given his proximity, running into him in the store or some other local place was a definite possibility.

I pulled into the familiar driveway as my friend waddled out to greet me.

“Emma! You didn’t have to come out. You should be inside resting!” I yelled out my window.

“Oh, hush! I’m pregnant, not dying. You sound just like David,” she fussed.

Emma was beautiful in her pregnancy. She was glowing and smiling and this fit her. I hopped out of my car and gave her a gentle but firm hug.

“Delilah, you have to help me. I’m panicking about the nursery. It’s not finished and I need help and David isn’t doing it right,” she huffed.

She was nothing if not a control freak. David, being a man, lacked the attention to detail she required for this project, I’m sure. “Don’t worry! We’ll get it taken care of. We have plenty of time,” I said, grabbing my bags from the trunk. I mean, how much could really be left? I was sure most of it was done and she was just freaking out about the last few details.

We did not have plenty of time. Had they even been in here?! I looked around the space that was supposed to be the nursery. The crib was still in the box, the bassinet was only partially put together. There was one wall painted and the rest were white. The dresser was assembled in the corner. All the clothes were still packaged. Everything needed to be washed, folded, and put away. Everything needed to be assembled. They hadn’t even installed the car seat!

Poor Emma had tears in her eyes. Apparently, and without thought, they’d planned the move here too late and had to push back the baby shower. To top it off, David had to go out of town for work. So here we were, just days from the baby’s arrival with an entire room to assemble. I patted my friend on the shoulder. If I had any say in it, this room would be finished in time.

“I know it seems like a lot but we are going to get it finished. I promise,” I told her. We walked back through to the kitchen and she sat on a stool at the end of the counter. I started making her a cup of decaf tea to relax her.

“How is it that you know where everything is?” she asked, laughing, watching me almost effortlessly navigate her kitchen.

“Well, if you recall, you’re the one that basically put this house together while I was in a black hole. So I just assumed it’s how you would do it. And what do you know? Yours is set up the exact same way,” I teased.

She shook her head at me and we both started giggling.

“So tell me,” I said, “have you decided on a name yet?” She stared back at me with anxiety. I’m guessing not.

“Every time I think we are getting close to agreeing on a name, I change my mind and hate all of it. I think I’m just going to have to wait until I hold her. I need to see what’s going to feel right,” she said, shrugging her shoulders.

“That’s okay, a lot of people do that,” I said. Granted, when I was pregnant, I had names picked out pretty much instantly, though I would never use those same names now. It just wouldn’t seem right. I wrapped my arm around my stomach. I didn’t really know how much time would need to pass before I stopped doing that but I was beginning to settle into the idea that no amount of time might ever be enough.

We settled into small talk after that, catching up on gossip and things. Emma went to lie down for a nap and I went into the guest room to unpack my things and change. I really did want to get to work on the nursery for her. I wanted her to see some results and stop stressing about it so much. I changed into some workout type clothes and threw my hair up in a bun on top of my head. The first thing I needed to do was move everything out and finish painting. That would be easiest. I stacked everything up neatly in the sunroom. They hadn’t done much with it which was a shame. It made an excellent office and writing space. Some of these boxes were heavy. Fuck, this really is a two-person job. I wiped my forehead. Holy shit, I’m actually breaking a sweat.

Just then, I heard a knock at the door. I looked around the living room. I didn’t really know what I was looking for. Someone else to answer the door, maybe? I stood here for a few more seconds and heard another knock. I guessed they weren’t going to go away. I settled the playpen box into place and wiped my hands down my sides. I shuffled to the front door and swung it open. I did not see this coming.

Samuel. Samuel! He was standing there, staring back at me just as surprised to see me as I was him. All my words escaped me. I stood here, dumb and frozen in place. Why? Why was he here?! Had he seen my car? I’m going to DDDDIIIIIIIEEEEEEE…..

“Sorry, I, uh, shit. Hi,” he said.

“Hi,” I croaked. We stood here for a few more seconds staring wildly.

“David asked me to come over and help him,” Samuel said.

“Help with what?” I asked.

“He said the nursery wasn’t done. He asked me to help since I’ve put all this sort of stuff together before,” he said.

“Oh. Um, I don’t think Emma knows that because she just asked me to help,” I said.

“Well, do you need help?” he asked, looking genuinely terrified of my answer.

I didn’t know if he wanted me to say yes or no. Hell, I didn’t even know if I wanted to say yes or no. I stood here for a moment, thinking about how terrible the idea was. On the one hand, being in the same room with him for an extended period of time terrified me. But on the other hand, I really did need help with the nursery. And I would do just about anything to make sure it was done in time. “Actually, yes. I could really use the help,” I said finally.

Samuel relaxed his shoulders and smiled. He stepped into the living room. I walked him back to the nursery where his eyes grew big, exactly the way mine did a few hours ago.

“As you can see, they’ve done virtually nothing.” I laughed. “I started putting all the boxes and things out of the way in the sunroom so I can paint first and give it time to dry.”

“That sounds like a plan,” he said. He unzipped his jacket, exposing a tight white t-shirt underneath. He was wearing these faded jeans that I could tell were something he wore for yard work or maybe house repairs. Work jeans.

“I just finished tarping the floor and was about to tape off the window and door frames,” I said.

“Okay, I can get the paint shaken and poured while you do that and then we should be ready,” he said.

We worked quietly for the next several minutes. I had my back to him for most of it but I was very aware of his presence in the room. I was hot around the edges. My neck was burning. This was going to be a very long few days.

“All done!” I exclaimed a little too loudly. I had forgotten he wasn’t actually inside my head listening to the insane conversation I was having with myself, so the need to be louder than that was unnecessary.

“Me, too,” he said, laughing.

“What?” I asked.

“Nothing. You just seem very excited to paint,” he said.

God, I’m a moron. I laughed one of those embarrassed but trying to save face laughs and began to dip my roller into the paint pan. “So I’ll start over here and maybe you start over there in that corner and we should be able to work around the room without getting in each other’s way too much. Sound good?” I asked, realizing only after I said it that it sounded kind of rude.

“Sure,” he said.

We began working in silence again. After about ten minutes, I decided to break the silence. “So where’s Mason?” I asked.

“He’s spending the week with his grandparents. I asked them to take him while I helped over here. I figured it would be easier that way,” he said.

To my surprise, I was a little bummed about that. I missed that kid. “Oh, that’s nice,” I said. More silence. God, this was painful.

“So I heard you found a place in Virginia?” he asked.

“Yeah, how did you know that?” I asked.

“David told me. We’ve become pretty good friends,” he said.

What? They’re friends now? What the hell? “Oh. Well, yeah, I found a cabin over there. It’s nice. Pretty quiet,” I said.

“Are you seeing anybody?” Samuel asked.

I wasn’t really sure how to answer that. I could lie and say I was but that would be hurtful for no reason. Although, if I told the truth and said no, I wondered how pathetic I would sound. “No, I’m not. I’ve just been focused on me,” I said. Dare I ask? “Are you?” I asked, reluctant to hear the answer. I glanced over at Samuel, a smile forming on his face.

“No,” he replied.

I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. I felt my spine relax. I didn’t know why I was so relieved. Though, the thought of him telling me he was seeing someone else made me want to vomit.

We returned to our comfortable silence for a bit longer. I stopped and wiped my brow with my forearm. I checked my watch. It was approaching dinner time and to my surprise I felt starved. I looked over at him and he was looking at me.

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” I asked.

“If you’re thinking we need to eat, then yes,” he said.

“You are correct, sir,” I said.

“What do you want?” he asked.

I stood here pressing my lips together and thinking. Why do men always ask this? We don’t know. Just feed us!

“Okay, we could be here all day if you have to pick. Never mind.” He laughed. “I’ll go grab us some food. I’ll be back in a few minutes,” he said. He grabbed his jacket and headed toward the front door.

I stood here for a moment and then darted out to catch him before he left. “Hey, Samuel?” I said, coming around the corner to the living room. I saw him stop and shift his weight to his back leg. He looked back at me.

“Don’t worry, Delilah. I remember,” he said, and with that he was out the door.

I thought seriously about going and taking a shower to wash the paint and sweat off me but decided it wasn’t worth it. I would just end up that way again before the night was over. I went into the kitchen to grab a glass of ice water and heard some rustling in the back and a door being opened. I poured another glass for Emma.

“Hey, Mama, did you have a good nap?” I asked her, handing her the water as she approached.

“Yes, very much. It’s the one thing about pregnancy I don’t mind. Total freedom to take all the naps you want and no one says a word,” she said, grinning.

“So Samuel is here,” I said. “Well, not here. He went to get food.”

“Oh my god, what?”

I explained to her what her husband had done and she looked about as surprised as Samuel and I when we saw each other.

“Delilah, I’m so sorry. I had no idea. But, wait, you’re letting him help?” she asked, raising her eyebrow to me.

“Well, it’s a lot of work. And I really want to get it done for you. So I’ll deal with it. I’ll be okay,” I said.

She tilted her head at me and smiled. “You’re a good friend,” she said.

“Yes, well, you’d do the same for me,” I said. I updated her on the progress in the room but told her to stay out of there because of the paint fumes. That couldn’t be good for pregnancy. I told her she could see when we were finished. The smile on her face was everything. I didn’t care how awkward things between Samuel and I might be, it was worth it.

Samuel returned with Chinese. He was even thoughtful enough to bring plenty back for Emma. He placed my food in front of me with two fortune cookies on top.

He really did remember.