Chapter 23
April
I stood frozen in shock and then suddenly found myself propelled forward by the force of a six-foot, two-hundred-pound man colliding into me from behind. Strong hands steadied me while a soft voice murmured an apology I barely heard. Because sitting on my living room couch were my mother and her new husband—the asshole formerly known as my ex.
What the hell was this, invasion of the obnoxious parents day? No, that wasn’t fair to my dad. He wasn’t malicious in his neglect. My mother, on the other hand? Pure evil she-demon from hell. My face immediately flamed and I stiffened.
“What’s wrong?” I heard Jordan ask quietly behind me.
“Hey, April-Flower!” My mother popped off the sofa, her arms in the air, her pert body posing like a dancer performing a routine. Even in her mid-forties, my mother was still a beautiful woman. And she knew it. She also used it to her advantage with every breath that she took. I swallowed bile in the back of my throat and tossed my purse and keys on the counter.
“What are you doing here?” I said without preamble, vaguely aware that I’d greeted my dad this morning with those exact same words.
Mom approached me, but her eyes were on the man standing behind me. Typical. She flashed Jordan a wide smile, then continued to speak to me in her fake, sing-songy voice. “I wanted to see my daughter. Isn’t that enough?”
She swished her long blond hair over her shoulder flirtatiously. The bile threatened to come up again.
“Excuse me,” I muttered and turned to walk through the kitchen into the hallway. Sid was standing in our bedroom, chewing on her thumbnail and staring at her phone.
“You couldn’t have texted me that they were here?” I asked between clenched teeth.
She jumped and looked up at me. “I just texted you like ten minutes ago. And again just now. They showed up and I had no idea what to do!”
I took a breath and then released it. The text must have come through while I was driving and I hadn’t heard the update. “I don’t suppose you want to tell her to go fuck off for me?”
Her brows shot up, and I gestured to cut her off before she reminded me that she didn’t use those potty words.
I heard voices behind me. Jordan and my mom were talking. Ugh. I spun and headed back to the living room. Mom was chatting up Jordan. Oh, hell no.
“So you and April work together?”
Jordan, for what it’s worth, was more interested in the jackass sitting on the couch than in my mom’s batting eyelashes.
“Mom, leave him alone.”
She turned back to me, the smile sliding off her face. “You make it sound like I’m attacking him or something.”
I bit my lip. Well, it was her typical mode of attack. I mentally counted to five, then took in a deep, cleansing breath. None of that was working.
“I’m just getting to know Jordan, here, a little better,” she continued when I didn’t say anything. “I didn’t realize you were seeing someone. And since you’ve been avoiding me, I don’t know anything about what’s going on in your life.”
I looked at Jordan in time to see him frown at that statement.
“You used to disappear for months at a time,” I reminded her. “And if I recall correctly, before your latest wedding, I don’t think I’d heard from you for six months. Why are you suddenly so interested in my life?”
My mother glanced over to the couch and exchanged a long look with Gunnar. Then she squared her shoulders and walked over to me. “I’m sorry your feelings are still so hurt. I can’t choose who I fall in love with.”
Great non-apology. So typical. I blinked away the stinging sensation behind my eyes. Her insensitivity to this entire awkward situation got me every time. And really, that was my own fault. I was always hoping, maybe even expecting that she’d become a better person.
But she was the same one who, when I was fourteen, didn’t pick me up from a friend’s birthday party, leaving me stranded for hours at a restaurant after everyone had left. Her Hollywood director third husband had forced her to change her plans and she’d never bothered to notify me. My poor stepmom ended up driving hours out of her way to get me. Rebekah hadn’t gotten there until after midnight, at which point I’d been sitting alone in the dark for hours.
I’d gotten one of my mom’s shruggy non-apologies then, too.
“If you’re stopping by just to say hello”—which I highly doubted—“I have to get going. I have some important business to take care of right now.”
My mom frowned and then reached up and wiped at something on my face before I batted her hand away. “Have you been getting enough sleep? You look tired and your makeup is all worn off. And that mascara—I taught you better than that.” She added another cutesy laugh at the end of her statement and threw another assessing look at Jordan.
“I don’t need a makeup tutorial, thankyouverymuch.”
“Of course you don’t, sweetie.” She smiled and alarm bells went off. She wanted something. She never, ever called me sweetie or any other term of endearment. “I, uh, actually wanted to ask you something.” I knew it.
She stepped toward me and put her hand in my face again. I caught the distinct smell of alcohol on her breath. “Jeez, April, this gloppy mascara is annoying the hell out of me.”
This time, she poked me in the eye with her thumb.
I jerked back. “Ow, shit! Mother, get your finger out of my face and tell me what the fuck you want.”
She did this stupid exaggerated thing where her mouth dropped in horror but she still used her cutesy, fake voice—for Jordan’s benefit, I presumed. “Since when do you talk to me like that?”
I rubbed at my injured eyeball. With my other eye, I noticed that Jordan was beginning to look pissed. I turned back to my mom. “Have you been drinking?”
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Gunnar rise from the couch. He was tall and thin, and I’d once thought him a good-looking guy. But now, standing in the same room as Jordan, he looked like a pre-pubescent teen.
I held up my hand to block out his face. “Stay the hell out of this, Gunnar,” I said before he’d even said a word.
“Apologize to your mother,” he said, ignoring me.
“Go fuck yourself,” I said, turning to him. Without warning, my mother lunged at me.
Almost as if it had been rehearsed, Jordan dove for me and Gunnar grabbed her. “Jen, stop,” he said to her.
I grabbed her wrists to prevent the uncharacteristic attack. Her features were twisted with anger and her body was shaking. She appeared to be at the end of her tether. And apparently, under the influence. What was going on?
My mom was not a drunk—at least as far as I knew. She struggled against Gunnar’s hold, and as he tried to contain her, his elbow slammed into my mouth.
Pain exploded in my lip. I fell back, gasping and holding my mouth, the taste of hot copper filling it. Gunnar had split my lip.
“Shit,” Jordan muttered, pulling me into the kitchen.
“April! Shit! I’m sorry,” my mom shrieked from the living room. Gunnar was trying to calm her down as she began sobbing—loudly.
Jordan led me to the sink, where I spit out both blood and saliva. I could feel my lip already starting to swell, and it stung like…well, like I’d just been elbowed in the mouth. Jordan handed me a paper towel. “Hold this to your lip and press down, then tell me where your plastic bags are.”
I pointed to the drawer and watched as he extracted a baggie before opening up the freezer and pulling out ice cubes. He was at my side in a minute with a bag of ice and a glass of water. He pulled the towel from my mouth.
“Here, let me see.”
His head dipped low to inspect the damage, his beautiful face just inches from mine. I wanted him to kiss me, and I wouldn’t have given a shit if it hurt. I had this overwhelming desire to be in this man’s arms, to be comforted by him.
He scowled. “That miserable little asshole split your lip,” he ground out between clenched teeth. “Here, rinse your mouth out with this water and then put the ice on it. Your lip is swollen.”
I did as he asked. “Thank you,” I murmured from behind the bag of ice.
He reached out and pushed my hair behind my ear, his fingers tickling my earlobe. I involuntarily shivered and his eyes darkened when he noticed. He visibly swallowed, then smoothed his thumb over my cheek and this pang of fierce affection for him flared up. I wanted him to put his arms around me and pull me against him.
“Does she show up drunk very often?” he asked.
“Never. She’s stressed out, I think. Something’s going on.”
He frowned, opening his mouth to speak again when Gunnar walked into the kitchen.
“Heya, April. Can I, uh, can I talk to you alone?”
Jordan stiffened. I had a feeling that even if I wanted him to go, he would refuse to leave me alone with Gunnar. Thank God for that.
“Whatever you have to say to me, you can say in front of him,” I said.
Gunnar eyed Jordan a little nervously. “This is family business.”
“Funny. You’re not my family. What do you want?”
“We, uh…we need to borrow some money.”
I raised my eyebrows. What the what? That was pretty much the last thing I expected to hear from him. From her, yes, but not from him. Gunnar was the sole heir of a fortune. His dad was the head of his own corporation and his mom was from old money. He had access to a sizeable allowance from his trust fund. He didn’t need my money. Plus—
“What happened to the job your dad promised you after graduation?”
He shifted his weight from one leg to the other, eyes on the ground. “That hasn’t gone as planned.”
I adjusted the bag of ice against my lip. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see that Jordan was watching me carefully.
“And you can’t ask your parents for the money because…?”
He scowled. “Same reason. They’re upset about the marriage.”
I almost laughed. Gunnar’s dad adored me and pretty much pegged me as his future daughter-in-law the first night I’d met him. Guess he wasn’t as enthusiastic about my mom, because it sounded suspiciously like they’d cut Gunnar off for marrying her.
However, I was so desperate to get Gunnar and Mom out of here without any more fuss, I was willing to fork over some money to do it.
I sighed. “How much do you need?”
“Five thousand.”
I drew back, shocked. “What? Did you get roughed up by drug dealers or something?”
He rolled his eyes. “It’s just rent and groceries for the month.”
Jeez. No wonder she was liquored up in there. She’d probably needed the booze to get the nerve to walk in here and ask me for that kind of money. This was an all-time low. It was a pattern for her, to move on to the next rich dude the moment her alimony from the previous divorce expired. And I was certain that if Gunnar had been a penniless pretty boy instead of a rich heir, she would have screwed him and moved on instead of rushing off to Vegas with him.
She obviously hadn’t counted on Gunnar’s source of wealth drying up. And now it was clear they were panicking.
“I don’t have that kind of money sitting around.”
He scowled. “Then call your dad.”
My mouth dropped. “I can’t do that. You, her husband, actually expect me to call up her ex-husband and ask for money for her? Have some pride and don’t be an idiot.”
His fists clenched and he stepped forward. “Don’t you dare call me that.”
Jordan pushed partway between us and Gunnar cast a wary glance at him. “C’mon, April, grow a backbone and just call him.”
Jordan’s hand clenched into a fist at his side.
Gunnar scowled at him. “Chill out. You’re just the dude she’s fucking this week. I’ve known her for years.”
Jordan took a step toward Gunnar. “Doesn’t mean you can insult her.”
Gunnar flicked a hard gaze at me. “Trust me, she’s not worth the trouble.”
Jordan’s fist came up. Oh shit. I never thought of Jordan as the combative type. And even though they were almost the same height, Jordan outweighed Gunnar by at least fifty pounds. I’d hung onto those meaty biceps while I’d been in his arms and had a feeling they could do some serious damage.
“Jordan, no. It’s not worth it…” I said in a trembling voice.
Gunnar grinned triumphantly. “You see? Even she agrees.”
Gunnar didn’t even know what hit him. Jordan lashed out, his fist connecting with Gunnar’s jaw. The little weenie was knocked back, stunned, as his nose gushed like a red fountain.
“That’s for splitting her lip and not having the decency to apologize, you fucker.”
Gunnar cupped a hand around his nose and straightened. “Jesus Christ! Calm the fuck down! It was an accident.”
“This isn’t.” Jordan swung again. Since he was left-handed, Gunnar hadn’t been prepared as the left hook came at him, this time clipping him under the eye.
Gunnar fell back against the corner of the counter—which had to have hurt—and he slid to the ground. “I’m calling the cops!”
“Really? And what’ll happen when I show them her face and tell them you did that to her? I may go to jail, but you’re going right along with me.”
Gunnar sniffled, blood pouring out of his nose now. My mother came running in and screamed when she saw him. I grabbed the roll of paper towels and threw it to Gunnar. It bounced on the floor before he snatched it up, immediately grabbing a fistful and pressing it to his face.
Jordan shook out his hand and I saw that his knuckles were scraped. He reached into his pocket, pulled out his wallet and removed a wad of hundred-dollar bills, throwing them on the ground in front of Gunnar. They rained down like an orange-green waterfall. “You take that. You go quietly and you don’t ever, ever mess with her again. Got that?”
My mom’s jaw dropped, and I’m pretty sure mine did too. “Who the hell do you think you are? She’s my daughter. No one can tell me that I can’t see my own daughter!”
Jordan’s features chilled and he turned to me, taking my arm in his hold. “She can.” I let him push me toward the bedroom where Sid was cowering on her bed with a pillow clutched to her like a teddy bear. She jumped when we came in, then her eyes widened when she saw Jordan.
He nodded to Sid before turning toward me. “Grab your stuff, April. I’ll take you over to my place.”
I grabbed some pants, a shirt, my makeup and toothbrush and stuffed them into an empty gym bag. “Sid, I’m so sorry,” I said.
“Hi there…I’m Jordan. Do you feel safe if we leave now?”
She nodded at him. “My brother is on his way over here. I already called him to come get me.” She turned to me. “Just go, Apes. Get the heck out of here. I’m so sorry this happened.”
Jordan took my arm again and pointed me toward the door. “Let’s go.”
“Thank you,” I whispered.
He slipped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me against him. “No need to thank me.”
When we got out to the living room, Gunnar had his face buried in the paper towels. My mother was huddled on the couch next to him, stroking his hair and crying.
She looked up when I crossed the room and grabbed my purse. “Where are you going?” she asked faintly.
“That doesn’t concern you. Please be gone before I get home.”
“April,” she began in a voice that was half apologetic, half reproachful.
I shook my head in warning. “Not now. I’m going.”
Jordan ushered me out the door before she could say anything else.
Fifteen minutes later, we were at his house and he was ordering dinner from a local Italian place that delivered. I didn’t feel much like eating, but I didn’t want to cheat him out of his pizza. He’d earned it. Jordan did what I wished I could have done a year ago—smacked the crap out of that creep, Gunnar.
While waiting for the food to arrive, we changed out of our work clothes. I made two new ice baggies—one for my swollen lip and one for his hand, which was now bruised in addition to being scraped. He was sitting on the couch reading emails on his phone when I settled in next to him, handing him his bag of ice. He thanked me and pressed it to his knuckles.
All through dinner, Jordan remained quiet, thoughtful. It wasn’t long before we reached that awkward moment where I didn’t know if he wanted me to stay over or I should ask him to drive me home.
In the uncomfortable silence, he broke out a spare laptop and told me to log onto my character, Beast. Meanwhile, he logged onto a character on the same server, a svelte, sexy elf woman with dark hair named SnowWhite. I didn’t say anything but looked at him under my lashes, feeling heat rise to my cheeks at the realization that he’d created that character, thinking about me. Or maybe, like me, he’d just wanted to watch her die over and over again? My mouth quirked. Hmm.
We spent an hour playing Dragon Epoch together. He gave me pointers and we defeated hordes of goblins, worked on quests, laughing until I yawned. With that, he reached over and closed my laptop and did the same to his. I figured I’d better give him the out. “Sid texted me earlier. The coast is clear at home.”
There was a long pause. “Do you want to go home?”
It was hard to breathe. I turned to him, looked up into his face and shook my head.
He raised his hand to my chin and tilted my head up, then lowered his mouth to press against mine. It was a gentle, tender kiss, and it was obvious he was being careful with my split lip because his touch was feather light. But even that was enough to get my blood pumping, every nerve coming alive. I leaned my head back on the edge of the couch and looked into his eyes, which looked gray-green in this light. I raised my hand to his jaw, now peppered with a sexy five o’clock shadow. “Thank you…no one’s ever stuck up for me like that.”
My hand stroked along his jaw and his eyes closed, as if savoring the touch. “It wasn’t anything more than you deserve, April. I just wish you realized it.”
My eyes stung and I blinked, surprising myself with the sudden emotion that rose up, clogging my throat. “Maybe I just needed someone to show me.”
He gently shook his head. “It has to come from inside. You’ve got to know deep in your heart that you are worth sticking up for. But I’m afraid that Snow White has been poisoned for a long time.” My breath caught…and not just because he’d finally gotten his fairytales straight.
I knew what he was referring to. The entire time I was growing up, I was taught that my mother’s love—if it could even be called “love” at all—came with conditions, and her feelings and needs were more important than mine or anyone else’s.
That’s why I’d never stood up for myself or expressed my feelings, never let her know how deeply she wounded me. Jordan had only seen a brief glimpse of what it had been like for me, but it had apparently been enough to discern that our dysfunctional relationship was at the root of my problems.
“How could you know me so well in the short amount of time that we’ve known each other?”
He shrugged and sighed, his warm breath smoothing over my face. “Let’s just say I understand you because…I’ve been there myself.”
“Your dad?”
He looked up at the ceiling for a long time before nodding. “Yeah. I was only worth something to him when I was following exactly in his footsteps.”
But I had options that he didn’t. His family being intact, he still had to try to make things work with his dad. But for me…I didn’t have that burden. It was alarming, the similarities in our family situations, though the personalities involved were so very different.
“Don’t you find it weird that we both have family members who think nothing of ambushing us? Your mom and grandpa…my mom. Even my dad with that lunch today.”
He tilted his head. “Yeah, that is weird. But you ambushed me too…”
I sighed. “You mean with Cynthia…I’m sorry. I had no idea that would go so badly. It’s just that it seemed like you both wanted to talk to each other. And you both told me separately that the other person would never want to hear what you had to say. So I just thought…” I shook my head. “It doesn’t matter. I shouldn’t have meddled.”
He watched me with studious eyes, his brows knitting. Then he blinked and looked away as if suddenly uncomfortable, but in that split second I saw something that looked like…gratitude.
He cleared his throat. “At least your dad seems like a cool guy.”
I sighed and rested my head against his arm, which stretched across the back of the couch. “My dad is a good guy. Only he barely knows who I am as a person.”
“Well, I think that as long as you have one decent parent…maybe you should consider cutting the poison out of your life.”
I looked up at him and he held my gaze, strong and steady. I shook my head. “I’ve never had the guts to do it. To hurt her like that.”
“But it’s okay if she tramples all over you?”
I bit the inside of my cheek but didn’t answer, my eyes drifting away from his.
“April, you’re worth more than that—more than how I saw them treat you tonight. They treated you like shit. You have the power to end that.”
I swallowed. “I do.”
We were silent for a long time and his arm came down to press me against him. It felt so good being in his arms. It made me feel safe…special. It made me feel like I was worth every bit as much as he told me I was. Like I was too good for them. For her.
I sat up straight and reached over to the coffee table for my phone.
“What are you doing?”
“Cutting the poison out of my life.”
He didn’t say anything as I texted my mother, telling her not to contact me again. That I wouldn’t respond to her or Gunnar by phone or email, and if she showed up in person again, I would get a restraining order against them both on the basis of her harassment and Gunnar’s assault.
Then I snapped a selfie close-up of my face with the prominently displayed bruised and swollen lip. I went into my settings and blocked her phone number and Gunnar’s. I did the same with Facebook and email.
“There. It’s done.” I swallowed, feeling like a brave, grown-up girl. My heart was beating a million miles per second, but it was such a rush and I felt strong for the first time in a long time. Probably ever.
I turned to Jordan to find him watching me with an intensity that I was starting to get used to. I settled into his side again, resting my head on his shoulder. Slowly, slowly, my hand crept across his chest until I had his hard body in my arms. I tilted my head back.
“Better be careful or I might start thinking you care. And that was against your rules, right?”
He didn’t stiffen like I expected him to or draw back. Nor did he challenge or contradict me, even with a sarcastic quip. Instead, he ran his hand through my hair then turned to smell it.
“I’m incapable of caring, April. I told you that already.”
I didn’t agree with that. Not for one second. Every single action today, from the minute I’d set foot on the campus and saw my dad until right now, said that he did care. Jordan could choose to delude himself, but he couldn’t fool me.
“What happened when you talked to her?”
His hand on my hair stilled and I looked up. He was staring at the far wall, deep in thought.
“I told her I forgave her,” he said quietly, not bothering to pretend he didn’t know who I was talking about. “And I told her I was sorry.”
“Did it make you feel better?”
His eyes closed. “Not really.”
I turned toward him, pressing my face into his shoulder. That smell—sage and soap and a hint of salt and garlic from the pizza. But there was another scent underneath it. The smell of his skin that brought back the toe-curling, back-clawing pleasure we’d shared. Without even realizing it, my lips were on his neck. I couldn’t help it. I probably shouldn’t have. But how the hell could I resist?
I felt his Adam’s apple bob under my lips as he swallowed hard. He stiffened in my arms but I pressed the issue, throwing a leg over his lap and straddling him while kissing my way up his neck and along his hard jaw.
“April…” His voice was a hoarse whisper.
My hands flew down the buttons on the front of his shirt. My mouth followed the trail down from his neck, across his collarbone, to his chest. His hands were on my shoulders, squeezing firmly, and my tongue flicked across his nipple. He hissed and pulled me up and away from him.
“We can’t,” he said. But I could feel his arousal swollen against me. I frowned.
“Please don’t stop this, Jordan.” I leaned forward, pressing my forehead to his. His eyes snapped shut.
“We stopped it. It has to stay stopped.”
My hands caressed his rough cheeks. “For now…but I only have six weeks left. You won’t be my boss after that.”
My heart beat in my throat, and I died a few times while I waited for his reply. He took a breath and let out a sigh, and a weight inside my stomach dropped as I anticipated his rejection. Reaching down, he put his hands on my hips and scooted me back on his lap. “April…”
My eyes fluttered closed. Here it came…
“You know why your dad was on the campus today, right?”
I frowned and my eyes flicked to his. “He’s investing in the company. He’s done that before. And since Adam used to work for him and the company is going public…”
His jaw tightened. “It’s more than that. Adam brought him in to help form our new board of directors. It means…it means that he’ll probably end up being the chairman of the board after the IPO.”
My throat tightened and I felt sick, pressure building behind my eyes. This meant that there would be no hope for us, not even in six weeks. If my dad was the chairman of the board at Draco, and the CFO of the company was dating his daughter...
Wait, it wasn’t like that was against the law or anything. Unless Jordan was counting on the fact that we wouldn’t last…
“It’s not impossible.” I said, testing my hypothesis, to see if I was right.
“It could cause a lot of problems between your dad and me.”
“It could, if things don’t end well, but why are you assuming that will happen?”
He pressed his lips together. “Because it always does.”
I blinked. I knew that his past had messed with his head, but did that honestly mean he had no hope at all?
I absently played with the collar on his shirt and avoided looking into his eyes. “There’s…there’s a first time for everything. You aren’t willing to take that chance?”
He clenched his jaw, eyes narrowing. “It’s not really fair of you to ask me that.”
It hurt to breathe. My eyes stung from the sudden emotion rising up. I would not let him see me cry. I would not.
I quietly slipped off his lap onto the couch beside him.
He ran a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry—”
When I thought my voice would be steady enough, I spoke. “So am I.”
There was a pinch of loss deep down in my chest. I’d allowed my foolish heart to get involved when I’d known perfectly well that this wouldn’t go anywhere.
“April…come here,” he said, pulling me into his arms, pressing me against him. I didn’t resist, letting him feel like he was comforting me when he really wasn’t. The tears, they were coming. I didn’t know how long I could fight them off.
Everything in me hurt. My throat was tight. My gut ached. My skin was hot and flushed, my pulse erratic.
I had either contracted the Ebola virus or I’d fallen in love with Jordan Fawkes.