8
"I'm telling you, it's nothing special," I said, making sure to emphasize the point as we rode my motorcycle through the back roads, snaking through the evergreen trees.
"I think you've said that about a hundred times already."
He gripped my waist as I turned the corner. His voice was muffled by the helmet that I'd lent him. His strawberry blonde hair danced in the wind.
"I just don't want you to think that—" I started to say, as I turned my head to talk to him.
"Will you pay attention to the road, please? And look, if she birthed you, then she's got that going for her," Edward yelled over the roar of the engine.
I leaned to the right curving around the road. "You haven't met my mother," I quipped. "And Aaron's gonna be there too."
"What?" He did not sound pleased, and he hit me on the shoulder.
"I told him, he just needed to get to know you and he'd like you."
"He's such an asshole."
"Yeah, well… he's as much family as anyone, and it's really important to me," I told Edward. The worst part was that it was true.
The fact of the matter was that than my mom, Aaron was the closest person to me since I'd met Edward. I’d never had much of a family growing up, and Aaron had always helped the best he could to fill that hole in my life. At least now I had Edward for that.
We slowed down as the familiar grounds came into view.
"I have a three strikes you're out rule," he told me, his voice hoarse from yelling over the engine for so long.
"It'll be fine," I said, my voice wavering as I did. If I was being perfectly honest with myself, I wasn’t so sure it would be.
"You owe me one," he said.
I grabbed myself mockingly. "I got one for you right here."
"You're so nasty… and I like it," he joked.
We pulled through the Ryan Howard Trailer Park and as we did the memories of growing up here rushed through me like a tidal wave, and none of them were good.
The fact of the matter is that I was ashamed.
I'll be the first to admit that this was not where I wanted to take him. He takes me to museums to show me the kind of guy he is, and I take him to trailer parks. I couldn’t help but be very aware of how different we were.
I’d always wished that I'd grown up in some nice place like Edward probably did. It was another reason why I was always so into music. It was a form of escapism as much as it was an opportunity to change my stripes. But as hard as I try, I can’t change my past. I was what I was.
As we drive through the trailer park, I couldn’t help but notice that it could have easily doubled for a junkyard. Littered with broken bikes, empty cardboard boxes, bags of plaster, and urine-stained mattresses; I had to ask myself again what I was thinking bringing my fiancé here. But as that word hit me, I remembered why. I had no choice.
If he was going to marry me, I wanted Edward to see where I came from—all of it. That included the good and the bad. It was just a shame that for me there was more bad than good.
We twisted through the junky rusted trailers, twisting and snaking through both the garbage and the homes until we pulled up to my mom's.
The place was like a hoarder's paradise. My mom still had the same junk she'd kept since I was a kid, only now it was seeping out onto the front of the bald and weed-filled yard. I didn’t know how, considering the money that she had, but somehow, she had managed to add to the junk pile.
"Here we are," I groaned, shutting off the engine and helping him off.
"It's… nice…" he said, looking around and taking off the helmet. "Quaint." I knew he was just being nice and for that I loved him.
"It's crap on wheels," I dismissed. Although he was doing it for me, he didn't have to be polite. It was trash.
Edward didn't get to respond before Aaron came busting out of the trailer with a big smile on his face.
My best friend was dressed in his usual trendy fashion making him stand out amongst the trash like a rose amongst thorns with his famous fedora and scarf around his neck, although it was much too hot to wear one, he looked as out of place as Edward.
"What's up my brutha!" he said, embracing me in a huge bear hug like he hadn't just seen me yesterday. He even picked me up off the ground, so my feet dangled in the air.
"Hey, man," I said, catching my breath as he put me down. I was kind of surprised by his enthusiasm.
"Hey Aaron," Edward said from behind me as he worked up a nervous smile and sounding sweet as pie.
He fixed his helmet hair, standing back awkwardly as he waited for Aaron’s response.
"So, how was traffic, Cody?" my best friend asked me, totally ignoring Edward as he put his arms around me.
I could smell the beer on his breath. I glanced back at Edward, not surprised to see that he was glaring heavily at Aaron now, more than aware of the snub. I gave Edward a reassuring smile, hoping to calm him before things got heated. Both he and Aaron had pretty dominant personalities, and I didn’t want for them to start dueling.
He was clearly irritated that Aaron had ignored him and he mouthed the words, "Strike one…" making sure to emphasize each silent syllable.
"Hey dude, Edward said 'hi' to you."
"Oh, hi, Andy," he said dismissively, not looking back. What a jackass. I knew Aaron was going to be a little difficult, but I had no idea he’d be downright rude about it. The look on Edward's face told me I'd better get us inside and soon.
I could smell my mother’s attempt to cook us food from outside of the trailer, and as we stepped in it smacked us in the nose like a punch to the face. The familiar smell of lingering cigarette smoke that constantly clung to the fake wood paneled walls had fused with what I judged to be burnt spaghetti and garlic bread. How she managed to burn pasta, I would never know, but I hustled us inside anyway knowing that her cooking couldn’t be any worse than lingering outside.
We walked through the green shag carpet that had never been cleaned. It did benefit from the occasional vacuum or two when my mother had company, but that was close to being was never. And as I noticed Edward studying it, I realized that today was no different.
Edward, standing nervously in the corner, occupied himself by looking around at all the photos of Aaron and me as kids that my mom displayed on the wall like it was the Smithsonian. If anyone didn’t know any better, they might actually assume that Aaron and I were brothers. I only wished that right now he’d act like it.
Hearing us enter, she waddled out of the back room, all three hundred pounds of her. I could feel the walls shake as she came at me, her big toothless smile and pink curlers bobbing up and down.
Don’t get me wrong; I loved my mom as much as a son could, but she'd always been extremely overweight, and despite my constant badgering, she refused to listen. She was literally a walking heart-attack waiting to happen.
"Cody-y!" she said, hugging me as I melted into her bosom. I could smell the alcohol on her breath too.
Between her drunken rants and Aaron’s attitude, I couldn’t stop thinking about how much fun this was bound to be.
"Who's this?" She looked in Edward's direction.
"This is my—" I balked as I tried to say the words. I’d been preparing myself for this moment all day, well a lot longer than that really. Coming out to Aaron was hard enough. Coming out to my mom was going to be damn near impossible.
"Hi, Ms. White." Edward smiled his sweetest smile. "I'm Edward."
"Aren’t you just the most handsome thing I've ever seen in my life," she cooed, pinching his cheeks.
He chuckled. "Thanks, Ms. White."
"Mom, this is my..." I started again, tripping over my tongue again as I failed to say the words.
"Your boyfriend?" she asked flatly.
My jaw dropped. "What?"
"Oh, come on. You don't think I didn't know, did you?" she asked, a wry smile on her face.
"You mean, you...?"
"Fuck, yeah. Honey, I've known since I caught you jerking off to that muscle magazine when you were a teenager."
I blushed, unable to believe it. I couldn't have been more shocked and embarrassed. "Well, at least you picked a cute one. If I were a few years younger, and you were straight..."
"Mom, please," I said.
My mother gasped in an overly dramatic fashion. "You didn't tell me you were dating a model."
"Oh, stop, Ms. White." Edward blushed. "Model, no. Supermodel, maybe."
"I told you love at first sight existed, didn't I?" My mom said, looking exceptionally pleased with herself. "I can see it in both of your eyes."
I tried to ignore Aaron rolling his eyes behind me. The last thing we needed right now was drama. I mean, that was going to come without a doubt. All I could do was try and hold it off as long as possible.
My mother laughed her head off at her own wit, only to follow it up with a raspy, mucus-filled cough.
I sighed to myself as the noise vibrated through the room. She'd been smoking—probably threw the pack out before we arrived. She promised me that she had quit ages ago. I chalk that up to another promise not kept.
"How are those nicotine patches I bought you working out?" I asked her with an arched eyebrow.
"Don't start your lectures. I'm the mother; you're the son. Sit down you two. Take a load off. Cody's never brought a guy over for me to meet before, or a girl for that matter."
"Oh, no?" Edward said, sounding impressed as we took a seat on the small coffee-stained couch which used to be white, roughly five thousand Marlboro packs ago.
"Nah, but he's banged girls in the back bedroom when she was away though," Aaron added, as he sat down on the armchair of the love seat across from us; stretching himself out.
"That was a long time ago," I said, trying to control my growing temper as I avoided Edward's face. I knew that kind of thing would only make him jealous and pissed.
"Not that long ago," Aaron said, chuckling.
"Watch your language," my mother shouted, throwing a couch pillow at him. "There's a gentleman here. You're so proper. I love it."
"Something tells me he's heard worse, been around the block a few times." Aaron's cunning smile made me cringe. He knew exactly what he was doing. I just wished that I knew why.
Edward caught my eye as he raised two fingers in my direction, mouthing "Strike two," nice and slow.
I reached out and grabbed his hand, pulling it down. I then offered him a sneaky kiss on the neck. "I love you," I whispered.
"Are you hungry?" My mom asked as I tried not to wrinkle my nose at the burnt smell.
"I'm good," I said, being polite. Someone here had to behave like an adult.
"What about you, darling?" my mom asked Edward, as she coughed again.
"Doesn't look like he's missed any meals." Aaron chuckled.
My hand intuitively reached across and blocked Edward from standing up.
"Be cool, Aaron," I warned him through gritted teeth. I was trying hard not to make a scene, but Aaron was proving to make that a near impossible task.
"Two and a half," Edward whispered in my ear. "Only for you."
"Actually Mom, there's something I want to tell you. We both want to tell you actually."
"What is it?" she asked, looking nervous now.
I looked at Edward with a smile, squeezing his hand, "I'm… we're getting married."
My mom gasped so loud that I thought she was going to inhale the entire trailer.
"My baby's gettin married? My baby's gettin married!" She leaped to her feet with more agility than someone her size should rightfully possess. As she did, her heavy weight practically toppled over the structure. But she didn’t seem to mind, barreling toward the two of us as she bent down and smothered us in her bosom.
"Welcome to the family. I knew I liked this boy. I knew it from the second I saw you," she announced as if this was all her doing.
I laughed, not that I doubted my mom would like Edward. I knew that she wasn’t going to be the problem here. The real problem sat opposite us and hadn’t said a word.
I looked at Aaron for his reaction, sure he was going to say something rude or derogatory but instead he was gone, long gone. My head spun toward the door as I heard it smacking shut behind him.
I kissed Edward on the side of the head. This was something that had to be dealt with now. "Be back."
~~~
I don’t know why I was surprised. I should have known Aaron would take it badly. I mean, he was arrogant enough when he thought we were just dating. I just couldn’t believe how much of an asshole he could be sometimes. I hoped that he'd get over himself for one day and be happy for me.
Knowing the best way to his heart, or his head, I had made sure to grab a couple of beers before I stepped outside.
He sat on the back steps, staring at the rusted swing set he and I used to play on when we were little.
Nothing much had changed since I moved out of here; swearing that I would never return. Or that when I did, it would be after I had made it so that I could take my mother away from this terrible place.
Further away from us I could see the rusted trailer park sign, somehow still standing. The nosey two-faced manager of the park, Catherine, still lived nearby too.
Always the busy-body, even now she peaked out the window at us, adjusting her red wig as she did. I blew her a kiss and a wave as she closed her drapes, a foul look on her face.
"Thirsty?" I popped open a can of beer, handing it to him.
He snatched begrudgingly, guzzling it down. "Pretty messed up, you know?" he finally said only after the beer was gone and he was sure that I wasn’t going to offer the first word.
"What?" I said, bracing myself for impact.
"That you didn't tell me first," he said turning toward me. I couldn’t believe it, but he actually looked hurt. I was a little off-putting as he was the kind of guy who normally masked his sadness with anger.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"First, you tell me you're gay or bi or whatever the fuck. Now, you're saying you're going to marry that... whatever his name is?" he said, fuming.
"I told you now." I took another sip, trying to maintain my temper.
"I'm supposed to be your best friend," he said, voice wavering while the froth of the beer spilled out on his hand.
"You are my best friend," I said.
"It's just messed up, that's all I'm saying," he said, shaking his head and looking out into the distance.
"Is that your way of saying congratulations?" I joked, trying to lighten up the mood.
"You're making a big mistake," he said seriously, squinting.
"What?"
"I don't like him."
"You don't even know him."
"Just saying."
"Why can't you be happy for me? I finally met somebody. I'm not whoring around anymore. I'm growing up. You always said I needed to." I stood up, the anger finally boiling over. I'd had about enough of this. He was my best friend in the whole world, and the least he could do was act like it.
"Yeah, but now? Right when our careers are really taking off? Couldn't you wait?" he asked, standing up too as if trying to square off with me.
"’Til when, dude? I'm not putting my happiness on hold, just for a pipe dream."
The moment the words left my mouth I wished that they hadn’t. A heavy silence fell between the two of us as the gravity of what I said, and what the words meant, let themselves be known.
"Pipe dream? Is that what this band is to you?" He said, looking more hurt now than before.
"I didn't mean it like that."
"Next thing I know, you'll be living in some condo, working in some cubicle, clocking in and out for the rest of your life."
"So, now you're going to tell me my future?" I asked, tossing my beer can in the empty paint pail. A pointless exercise as dozens of cans literally decorated the ground around the pail.
"I knew things would change if you kept going out with that fag," he muttered under his breath.
My blood was boiling now. If this were anyone but Aaron then I would have given up using words a long time ago. He knew how to push my buttons and right now he was doing it on purpose. "Dude, I warned you before, watch it."
"You know he's a pussy—just look at him. That fag couldn't even—" he started to say, but I couldn't hold it anymore.
I saw red.
When I came to, he was on the ground clutching his bloody nose.
"What the—?" He clamored as he got back to his feet, wiped the blood from his nose.
His eyes narrowed at me as he held his ground. I knew that this was a long way from being over. "You're really going to choose that homo over me?"
"I told you, don't... disrespect... my... man,” I said as I leaped forward, punching him at every syllable; the face, the stomach, arm. I didn’t care where I hit him, as long as I made contact.
But Aaron was no wallflower. He could take his licks more than easy enough, and give them back with just as much enthusiasm.
Hunched over, he reached down, grabbed a handful of dirt and threw it in my face.
As the dirt particles flew into my eyes, I fell backward, swatting them away fruitlessly. It stung, but not as much as the jabs he followed that up with, and even less than the knee he drove into my stomach.
"You mother—" I wiped the dirt from my eyes, spear tackling him around the waist.
We both tumbled to the ground as I managed to get on top, pinning him down and slamming my fist in his jaw, again and again. "Watch your mouth, man. You're jealous 'cause you can't get any ass—"
His knee drove itself up, flipping me onto my back before I could finish. Then, before I knew what was what it was his turn to pin me on the ground.
A hard right-hook slammed into my cheek, cutting it with his ring.
"You said ‘bros before hoes,' man. I can see you've made your choice." He hissed.
"What do you care? You want to suck me off or something?" I elbowed him in the throat, scrambling to my feet as I went to kick him square in the chest. Barely managing to dodge that, Aaron was back on his feet again.
We circled each other, like two boxers ready for another round, just as my mother and Edward came screaming out of the house.
"Stop it right now," my mom hollered. "You want that manager to call the cops on you?"
I spat out the blood from my mouth, glaring at Aaron who spat back.
"You okay?" Edward asked me, coming to my side.
"I'm perfect," I said flatly.
"Should have let me at him," he joked, but I wasn't in the mood.