Chapter Twelve
The Big Move
Secrets
Lana
The family compound comes into view, and my heart rate speeds up, my hands grow palmy. I haven’t been here since I was shot, and my life changed forever. When my sister pulls the U-Haul into the gate, I turn my head from the window and Ripley takes her hand in mine. The onslaught of tears is unstoppable, the panic is so thick my bones ache. I untangle from Ripley’s comfort, force a smile, and add, “I need a minute.” Akela still hasn’t forgiven me for putting her through my faked death, but she understands. There are only four people who have treated me somewhat kindly and I know I’m to blame. I do.
I knew these people for mere months and was shot multiple times.
The first, it didn’t snag my emotions. I was merely shot through walls, I didn’t feel as if I had been personally attacked.
The second time? Here. In this compound. It felt personal. It was personal.
I flip the visor down so I can use the mirror to wipe away the stray mascara with the bottom of my tee-shirt.
I look horrid.
I’m a sweaty, hot moving disaster.
I give up and flip the visor back.
I don’t even know why I wore makeup.
Yes, you do.
It’s your armor.
With a shake of my head, I turn back to the window and observe the family as they unload their personal belongings they didn’t want to leave at HQ.
Our small U-Haul shakes, and I know someone has opened the liftgate.
It’s mostly my belongings.
I was given a choice to be in all the way or to leave for good.
Braxxon was always supportive and understanding of what I did, but this time around, he made me choose.
It was harder to make the decision this time, then it was before.
I’ve used my looks and bitch mode as a form of emotional armor. It was wrong, so terribly wrong.
And even if they can’t see or feel her, she’s there, the old me; she’s hidden below the surface, clawing for release.
I gulp and close my eyes when the sun is blocked by his tall form moving to the window. The passenger side door opens, the hot air rushes in, his large hands gently take mine and guide me out of the U-Haul.
I don’t understand why he’s helping me.
I made his life a living hell.
Pyro rarely shows his compassion, and I’m the last person he should ever show his rarity to.
“I may not understand why you left,” his grave voice snaps open my teary eyes. “But I do understand a little of what bein’ back here means for you.”
I choke on a sob.
Pyro lets go of my hands and shuts the door behind me, then lifts my chin with a finger, and his green eyes pierce me to the core. “You can run and hide and let your soul die, or you can choose to live, Lana,” he says gently as he leans down and places a small kiss on my forehead. “I forgive you.” I grab his shirt tight in my hands, fisting so tightly I’m sure my knuckles are white. “Thank you,” I whisper and slowly let go of the hold I have on his shirt.
We step away from one another, together.
I wipe my cheeks as my eyes catch Jinx off to the side, tears in her eyes, a smile on her face; she gives me a wink when I smile back at her.
A sense of peace overcomes me, and I believe, in time, I’ll actually be okay.