CHAPTER NINETEEN

Crystal

Waking up has never felt so good.

My head was still spinning a little and I felt a slight pain in my belly, but the new me was happy.

Liam sat on the edge of my bed and smiled. He looked a little tired, but still as handsome as ever. My thoughts drifted to the morning he and I woke up in one bed, at the lake house and I immediately wanted to feel his lips on mine and his hands travel down the curves of my body.

I don’t know what it was that made me feel like I had wings on my back. Maybe the look of his dark-blue eyes that radiated love so powerful, it would melt the ice of Antarctica. Never before have I felt so in love with him as I did now. It was as if I could see his feelings for me shine through his skin, enveloping me in its blinding glow.

“How are you feeling?” He asked, taking my hand in his.

“My back and my ass hurt from lying for so long.”

His smile widened.

“If you want to get up, be very careful with the bandages. The new stitches need time to heal.”

“So the operation went well?”

“Even better than we expected. I’m sure you will love the result.”

“I can’t wait to see it.”

“You will have to wait a little while before you can see the changes. Until then, you will have to follow my recommendations and avoid lifting heavy things.”

“I’ll do anything you tell me to do.”

His brows rose in a silent question.

“Don’t even think about it.”

He burst out laughing. “You don’t know what I was thinking.”

“The answer is ‘no’ to whatever you have in mind.”

“We will see.”

***

Three days later

“The guest room is ready,” Mr. Grayson said, pouring me a cup of tea. Stanley and Liam were there too, as well as Elizabeth and Kameron and my beautiful Goddaughter Olivia.

“Thank you so much for letting me stay here.”

“No problem.” He looked carefully at his son. “Kameron told me your story. But don’t worry, it’s safe with me.”

Stan squeezed my hand slightly and rubbed my back. “You sure you don’t want me to stay here for the night?”

“I’ll be fine. I’m a big girl, remember?”

“It doesn’t matter how old you are, you are still my little sister and I feel responsible for everything that is going on with you.”

“Leave her alone, Stan,” Elizabeth said. “I’m sure she will be well looked after.” Her eyes drifted to Liam, sitting opposite from me and she winked at him, as if she knew something I didn’t.

“Am I missing something?” I asked, watching them suspiciously.

Mr. Grayson spoke again, “Since Liam has nowhere to live now and you are his patient, and he needs to be close in case you need him, I thought it would be better if he stayed here too.”

Liam’s face lit up. “This is so very generous of you, Mr. Grayson. Thank you.”

“Why am I the last person to find out about it? And what the hell happened to your hotel room?”

Kameron spoke, “You would never agree to let Liam stay here with you. But his back hurts from sleeping on a hotel bed.”

“On a Fairmont Hotel bed? Seriously?”

“How did you know I was staying at the Fairmont?” Liam asked, surprised.

“Someone must have mentioned it. Why?”

His knowing grin made me feel like the worst liar in the world. Well, yes, I did a small research on him online and saw a few pictures on his Instagram page showing the emblem of the hotel. I didn’t hire a spy to follow his every step. Thank God, with free Wi-Fi in the hospital, I could find any information I needed.

“Anyway, how long will it take for the stitches to heal? I don’t want my parents to ask too many questions about my so-called ‘trip to New York’.

“I told them you went there to find a place for my Christmas fashion show,” Liz said. “So I don’t think they will be asking questions.”

“You will be ready to return home in a week or so,” Stanley said. “Until then, do everything your doctor tells you to do.”

I made a face. “The doctor and I both know I’m terrible at abidance.”

Kameron chuckled. “I’m sure he knows a few tricks on how to make you obey him.” His father gave him a disapproving look. “His prescriptions I mean.”

One look at Liam’s face was enough to know it all. He wasn’t going to let me out of his sight, but I didn’t think it was a good idea, considering our complicated relationship. On the other hand – he was the only person to haunt my dreams. I wouldn’t have noticed if everyone in the room, except for him, disappeared.

Olivia started crying and Liz and Kameron hurried home. Stanley said he had plans for the night, so he left too. Mr. Grayson excused himself, saying he had some paperwork to do, and went to his office. And Liam and I stayed alone in the living room.

“I should have asked Mr. Grayson to give you a room on the first floor,” he said, taking a seat next to me.

“I’m not dying, thank God. I can walk and eat and even swear. So getting upstairs shouldn’t be a problem.”

“I will carry you there, don’t worry.”

“And what if I want to pee? Will you carry me to the bathroom as well and then back to bed?”

“The end of the line is the best part of it.” He smiled from ear to ear.

“Oh, dear Lord, help me.” I stood up and suddenly felt pain where the stitches were.

“What is it?” Liam asked, worried. He caught me before I could fall back onto the couch and shook his head. “What did I tell you about moving too fast?”

“Sorry, I forgot.” I wrapped my arms around his neck and made the most innocent face in the world.

“Stop doing that.”

“Doing what?” I asked in a sweet voice.

“Looking at me like this. I’m not made of iron, you know?”

“I thought you wanted to carry me upstairs. Now you have a perfect excuse to use my weakness against me.”

“Right.” He headed for the stairs, saying, “In case you need me, my room is right next to yours.”

“I’ll remember that, Doctor.”

Next two hours or so I spent trying to come up with an excuse to go knock at his bedroom door. I knew he wasn’t asleep yet; I could hear music coming from behind the wall. Finally, I thought no excuse would be believable enough and just did what I wanted to do.

“I thought you would never come,” he said, opening the door a second before I could knock.

“How did you know it was me? What if it was Bree? Or Mr. Grayson?”

“Bree went to bed about an hour ago. She brought me hot chocolate before she did. And Mr. Grayson is still working in his office. I can see the light from my balcony. So I thought you were the possible shy late night guest who wouldn’t find enough courage to knock at the door. Judging by how many steps you took between your room and mine, you changed your mind ten times at the very least.”

“Okay, smartass, may I come in now?”

“My bed is your bed. Sorry, I mean my room is your room.”

I went to the collection of CDs spread all over his coffee table. “Pink Floyd? You never told me you liked their music.”

“The CD is not mine, I found it downstairs among Mr. Grayson’s CDs.”

“Am I the only person who noticed how sad he is? Do you think he’s missing Shelby?”

“I would say he’s missing Kameron’s mother, but definitely not that bitch Shelby. The fact that they have a son doesn’t make her a perfect wife.”

Liam’s words made me think about something else.

“How’s Kim feeling?”

“You didn’t come here to talk about her again, did you?” He stepped closer, took the CD from my hands and turned me around so that now our faces were opposite each other. “Tell me something, Crystal, if Kim wasn’t expecting my baby or didn’t exist at all, would you keep pushing me away?”

“I’m not pushing you away. We are standing pretty close now.”

“You know what I mean.”

I didn’t know how to answer his question. There were so many ‘ifs’ in our story, I don’t think I knew how to write it without them.

He thought my silence was the answer.

Without warning, he pulled me to his chest, carefully, slowly; his heart bounced against mine.

“Correct me, if I’m wrong.” With his index finger holding my chin, he made me look at him. “You came here because you wanted to be here. You didn’t think about Kim or anyone else, you just wanted to be with me. Just like I can’t stop thinking of being closer to you.”

I swallowed hard. His every word was true, but I just couldn’t make myself break the invisible wall standing between us. It was made of my stupid fears and his lifetime obligations. And I needed all of my willpower to not let the wall fall. Because I knew once it happened, there would be no way back.

Again, I stayed quiet and again, Liam took my silence as a response to his question.

The depth of his eyes made it hard to look away or think straight. It had always been like that – my words muddled and my body turned into something uncontrollable. He was more than just my teenage crush; he was my escape, my freedom, my eternal summer that consisted of everything I loved: warmth, light and kissing under the night sky dressed in stars. 

Whatever happened, I wanted to share it with him: darkness or light – I wanted to see it all, with him.

“I miss you,” I finally said. “So much, it makes my heart bleed. I don’t know how to stop missing you; the feeling is stronger than me. It comes and goes, always returning in quiet moments. I see you and everything inside me turns upside down. You might not be watching me, but I still feel like your eyes are on me, following everything I do. You might not be touching me, but I feel your presence everywhere I go. I look around, searching for your familiar face, with the eyes that always twinkle with laughter. But you are not there… I can’t replace you with anyone else, I can’t fill the gap that leaves behind every time you leave. No distraction is enough to forget you. Tell me what to do to take you out of my system, because my methods are useless.”

In a voice low and husky, he said, “I’m afraid I don’t have a remedy for this particular case. But even if I had one, I wouldn’t give it to you, because for better or worse, I want to be the only man you love.”

“How very selfish of you.”

“Not feeling guilty.”

I smiled. “Why am I not surprised to hear that?”

He leaned in, his lips brushed against mine, sending electric tingles all over my body.

“Stay with me tonight…forget about the rest and stay.”

How could I say ‘no’ to that? After everything I just told him… There was no stopping for us tonight. Bandages on my belly didn’t count.

The next thing I knew, he pressed his lips to mine. I hardly had time to stop him.

His tongue delved into my mouth and mingled with mine, igniting the fire of lust with every push his tongue made against mine.

His hands drifted to my hips and pulled me closer. My breathing quickened. His lips moved down my neck, leaving delicate kisses on my skin. I thought I was used to his kisses, but I was wrong. Every time he kissed me, I was completely unprepared for what his lips made me feel.

I broke apart to breathe in some much-needed oxygen. He rested his forehead against mine.

“Seriously, Crystal, you have chosen the worst moment ever to come and seduce me.”

I chuckled. “Why so?”

“There are so many things I would rather do than just kiss you, but I can’t. And I’m restricted to make love to you for the next two weeks or so. Which, I guess, is going to be longest fourteen days of my life; a torture to the max.”

I sank into his embrace and said, “Serves you right, Mr. Henderson. After all those years of watching you dating different girls, fourteen days of abstinence is the most loyal punishment I could have ever come up with to pay you back.”

“You are cruel.”

“Not at all. But you know what they say about revenge? It’s a dish best served cold.”

He looked at me and frowned. “You are enjoying torturing me, aren’t you?”

I put on my best smiled and said, “Do you still want me to stay?”

“Always.”

“Then I’m staying.”

“Wearing this?” He pointed at my oversized shirt and leggings.

“Yes. Why?”

“I thought you would be wearing something sexier.”

“I have bandages on my belly, remember? Are not they sexy enough to make your imagination go wild?” I laughed at his grimace. “Sorry, baby, it’s all you get tonight.”

“Not much. But still better than nothing at all.”

I sat down on his bed and leaned against the pillows. “Remember Stanley’s twentieth birthday? You and Kameron came to the lake house, hoping to have fun and then you saw me and it was like, What the hell is she doing here?”

“I was glad to see you.”

“Yeah, right. As if I didn’t know you were going to call strippers to come and join the party.”

“Is that why you asked Stanley to take you with him?”

I smiled, but said nothing.

“Oh, you little devil.” Liam lied down next to me. “You are lucky to be bandaged right now.”

“Or what would you do?”

“Or I would teach you a lesson on how to be a good girl.”

“Interesting…”

He rested on one elbow, with his other hand wrapped around me. “I have a confession to make… Remember those slugs on your pillow and stolen towels?”

“Just don’t tell me it was your handiwork.”

“I thought you knew it was me.”

“Actually, I was sure those were Kameron’s tricks. He was the one who always brought something disgusting in the house, remember?”

I giggled. “Hard to forget. How old were we? Ten?”

“You were twelve and I was eight. I will never forget that huge piping frog he found by the water and then thought we could cook it and eat it for dinner. I almost puked seeing it on the kitchen table.”

Liam laughed. “It was a good time, right?”

“Yeah… But I’m glad your best friend’s food preferences have changed.”

“True.”

We looked each other in the eye and I felt like he wanted to tell me something.

“Go ahead,” I said. “Whatever it is, just say it.”

He hesitated.

“I thought there were no more secrets between us. Or is there another ex-fiancé that you want to tell me about?”

“No. But there is someone I want to ask you about… Trevor. You two seem to be very close. When did that happen?”

I licked my lips that suddenly felt too dry. Then I said, “He was the first guy I met after the club story. He supported me when I needed it most, and he never asked any unnecessary questions, unless I myself felt like telling him something.”

“So he knew about what happened to you?”

“Yes. He knew everything.”

“I see… At least now his overprotectiveness makes sense.”

“What do you mean?”

He hesitated again.

“Liam?”

“He came to see me a day or two before he went back to Canada.”

“What for?”

“He wanted to know how I felt about you. I told him the truth.”

“What else?”

“He also asked if there was a chance to remove your scar. And I said yes.”

“Is that all?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t believe you. What else did he tell you?”

“I’m not telling you a word. He promised to keep it between us, and I’m not going to break my promise.”

“It’s not fair. I’ll die of curiosity!”

“You’ll survive.”

I crossed my arms over my chest and said, “You two had no right to talk about me behind my back.”

“To be honest, I wasn’t surprised to see him in my office. After I saw you two going on a date, I knew that sooner or later, he would come to talk to me.”

“What made you think so?”

“It’s obvious – he has feelings for you and so do I. And I still hate myself for not fighting for you hard enough. I should have spoken to you after the damn birthday party. But I didn’t.”

“It’s too late for regrets. Besides, I don’t think I want to get to back to this conversation. Let’s leave that day in the past, okay?”

“Okay.”

“But there’s something I do want to discuss though…”

“I know what it is. And I know it’s hard for you to accept the baby and the fact that its mother will be a part of my life. But I won’t let you give up on us, Crystal. We’ve been through so much shit. Don’t you think it’s time to give us a chance? To stop hiding from everyone and be together, for real?”

“Do you really believe we can make it work?”

“I do. What about you?”

I thought for a moment. If a few months ago someone told me Liam and I would be lying in bed, talking about our future, I would have said they were out of their minds. But the more time I spent with him, the more I wanted to spend the rest of my life by his side.

My defenses were no longer as strong as they used to be. Now they felt more like pieces of litmus paper under the pouring rain, soaking to the last millimeter and then melting in the water. I didn’t want to fight my desires anymore.

“I think we can give it a try.”

The way his lips lifted upward said it all. My words were what he wanted and needed to hear.

He laid back on the pillow, with his face close to mine.

We didn’t talk. We just laid like that, each thinking about what we had lost and what we had found.

“I will never tire of begging for your forgiveness,” he said in a whisper.

“I forgave you a long time ago, I told you that.”

“But I still feel like I owe you an apology. Not verbal, but real, based on what I do for you.”

“You don’t owe me anything, Liam.”

“Not true. I owe you a lifetime of us, and I will not let you down, not again…”