CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Liam

The moment I entered my house, I knew that something was wrong. The curtains in the living were shut, the TV was on and showed one of Animal Planet documentaries that no one in the place ever watched.

“Kim?” I called. “Where are you?” Needless to say that I had no fucking idea how to look her in the eye after what happened between Crystal and me.

“You are back, finally,” Kim said, rising from the couch where judging by her look she must have spent the entire night. She was wearing her pj’s, with her hair tied in a messy something. “Do you even know what time it is?” She wasn’t shouting or anything. On the contrary, she looked like she was asking me one of those standard questions you ask someone in the morning, like ‘Did you sleep well?’ or something of the sort.

“Um, yeah… Around ten.”

“Good to know that you haven’t lost track of time, unlike your conscience, of course.” She gave me a murderous look. “I know I’m here because we thought it would be better for the baby. But I’m not a couch, Liam. I’m a human being who has feelings, that are thanks to my state very diverse these days, and I’ve been worried about you.” She paused to take a breath. “I’ve been calling you all night. May I ask where you’ve been?” She crossed her arms and stared at me.

For a moment I felt like she could read everything that was going on in my head. Or maybe I was too scared she would actually be able to get into my head.

“I’m sorry… My phone died, and I…”

“Didn’t have any other phone around to call me and tell me that you are okay. Right?”

“Exactly.”

“And here I thought you were going to tell me the truth, at least for once.” She smirked, as if she had said something humorous, then headed to the stairs.

“Kim, wait… I’m sorry. I know I should have called you. It’s just that... There was something very important I needed to deal with.”

“Was ‘the something’ so hot you forgot about your pregnant fiancé, waiting for you at home?”

“Kim, please… Let me explain.” Though I had no idea how to explain my absence. I sure wasn’t going to tell her that I had spent the night catching up on all the nights Crystal and I missed. Besides, she and I made a deal – what happened in the lake house stayed in the lake house. Right? Not that I was being such an ass and was going to pretend as if the night never happened at all. But when it came to Kimberly, I did realize that she didn’t deserve a husband who would cheat on her and lie non-stop. But she was expecting a baby, my baby, and it changed everything.

“It will never happen again,” I said, trying to convince myself that the words were not just bullshit.

“Oh, please, Liam, don’t start this again. I know you well enough to not trust you with after-sex explanations. I thought I was over it, I tried to learn to trust you. But you are not helping, you know? Do you really believe I don’t know the man I’m about to marry?” She came closer and added, “Starting the day you proposed, everything changed, including you and your attitude towards me. You use me when you need me, but other than that, you don’t even look at me, it’s as if I were non-existent.”

“Kim, it’s not true. I never used you and you know it.”

“Maybe we shouldn’t rush with the wedding. Everyone will see my growing belly, so a couple of months won’t change anything. I will only need a dress of a different size. But it’s nothing, compared to the absence of feelings between us.”

“But I do have feelings for you!”

“Compassion is not exactly what I need, Liam. Sorry, I need a shower and breakfast. I have had a long night.” She turned away from me and left the room.

“Fuck,” I swore under my breath. The amount of shit in my life had an unhealthy tendency to grow with the speed of sound.

I took my phone out of my pocket and called the only person I could always be honest with.

“Hey mate. Are you at work?” I asked into the handset.

“Nope. Working from home today,” Kameron responded. “Why?”

“I need advice.”

“Okay… What kind of advice?”

I put my shoes back on, grabbed my car keys and left the house. “I’d better tell you when I see you.”

“Don’t you have any appointments today?”

“My only appointment just postponed the wedding. So I’m kind of free for the rest of the day, and maybe for the rest of my life as well.”

“Oh… All right. See you soon then.”

Unlike my other friends, Kameron was the only one who knew almost everything about me. ‘Almost’ had a name actually, and the mere thought of pronouncing it again, made blood run faster through my veins.

Leaving the lake house this morning was one of the hardest things I had ever had to do. Crys and I knew it was coming, but when the time to say good-bye came, I panicked. I suddenly realized that I would probably never be able to touch her again, kiss her again, or even look at her without the wild desire to break the ‘just friends’ rule.

She was close, yet so far away from me. The world that just a few hours ago felt like the strongest thing ever existed, started to shatter, and neither of us could stop it. She said she would never stop loving me, and I knew I would never stop loving her. Then she got a call from someone I wanted to kill with my bare hands, Trevor perhaps, because the male voice I could hear coming from the handset sounded too excited to be just another friend with no benefits. I didn’t ask who was calling, but the idiot just had to ruin our last minute together. She used the call as an excuse to leave, gave me a quick kiss on the lips and then drove away from the house.

I stood on the terrace, watching the car disappear behind the trees, with the only question in my head – Why can’t we make our relationship work?

The answer came as soon as I looked at my phone and saw twenty-three missed calls and eight unread messages from Kimberly.

My life was about to change forever, and there was no place for love in it. Because somehow, I knew I would never be able to love anyone as much as I loved Crystal.

“What the hell happened to you?” It was the first thing that Kameron asked after he opened the door for me.

“I slept with Crystal,” I said, going straight down to business.

“You did what?”

“You heard me. I slept with Crys.”

“I thought you hated each other to the bone.”

“Yeah, well, that was before I fell hopelessly in love with her.”

“And when exactly did that happen?”

“A long time ago.” I sighed and sat down on a couch. Kameron watched me in pure shock.

“Drink?” He asked after what felt like forever of studying me with his thoughtful stare.

“Make it a double.”

He went to the bar and returned about a minute later with a glass of scotch in one hand.

“Thanks,” I said, taking it from him. “I know it’s a little early for drinks, but as you can see, I really need one now.”

“Yeah…” He took a seat opposite from me and said, “Does Stan know?”

“Do you really think I would be sitting here, drinking scotch, if he knew about me sleeping with his sister?”

“I don’t think so.”

I smirked. “My point exactly.”

“Was it...you know…like a momentary weakness, or…?

“Or.”

“Right. So you and Crystal have been doing this for a long time?”

“No. Last night was the first time. And the last, I guess.”

“Were you that bad?”

I looked at Kameron and laughed, like really laughed. “No. I don’t think I was that bad. But there’s more to it… Crys and I have a history. It started six years ago. Back then, I was so into her, I didn’t think about the consequences. I let things go too far.”

“I thought you said last night was the first time you slept with her.”

“Well, not that far.”

“Oh, okay.”

“I came to see her when Stan wasn’t around. I asked her out a lot, and everything was fine, perfect even. Then one day, I did something she wouldn’t forgive me for doing. I stopped right before she and I…you know…were about to cross the line.”

“You? Stopped? Who would have thought…”

“You are not helping, Kameron.”

“Sorry. So what happened next?”

“She got pissed and showed me the door. I left, feeling as shitty as ever. First, I thought to come back to tell her I didn’t mean to offend her or anything. But then I changed my mind and just walked away, hoping she wouldn’t hate me for the rest of her life, which was exactly what happened next.”

“Is that why she didn’t want you to be Liv’s Godfather?”

“Yes. She thought I would make the worst Godfather in the world.”

“Then how did you two end up in bed?”

“A few days ago, I found out something terrible. Turned out the night I left her bedroom, six years ago, she went out to unwind and ended up in the back street surrounded by three douchebags who wanted to…” I stopped, unable to finish the line.

“Holy shit… Poor Crys. But they didn’t get what they wanted, did they?”

I shook my head as a ‘no’. “She scared them away by slicing her chest with a knife one of the idiots had with him. She then called Stanley and he took her to the lake house where she stayed until her wound healed. She didn’t want anyone to know about what happened that night. Not even Stan knows the whole truth.”

“I can’t believe this. Does Liz know?”

“She does.”

“She didn’t tell me a word about it. But I still don’t get it… What happened last night?”

“After I found out the truth, I wanted to talk to her. Stan told me she would be at the lake house, so there I went. And then, well, we didn’t expect things to go that far. Though she and I both wanted it. We spent a whole night together and now I have no idea how to live my life, knowing that she will never be a part of it.”

“You still love her, don’t you?”

“I do.” I leaned against the back of the couch and stared at the ceiling. “I never stopped loving her. As well as she never stopped loving me. But I’m about to marry a different girl and Crystal wants to be just friends with me.”

“Damn it, guys… How did you get stuck in so much shit?”

“I keep asking myself the same question.”

“Did you tell her about the wedding?”

“No. I tried to tell her, but she wouldn’t let me.”

“So what’s next?”

“As I said – we are going separate ways.”

“Just like that?”

“Just like that.”

“Well, it sounds kind of…”

“Stupid? I know. But what choice do we have?”

“Be together?”

“She will never agree to be with me if she finds out about Kim’s pregnancy.”

“But you can’t marry a woman you don’t love just because it’s what you think is the right thing to do. I still can’t forgive myself for missing the biggest part of Elizabeth’s pregnancy, but I always wanted to be with her. Tell me something, Liam – can you imagine spending the rest of your life with someone you don’t feel anything for?”

“I don’t know what to think or do.”

“Kimmy must be furious. What did you tell her about where you spent the night?”

“Nothing. And this is exactly why she said we shouldn’t rush with the wedding.”

“She’s right, man. Being a father is the best thing that could have ever happened to me, apart from falling in love with Liz of course. But I don’t think I could handle living with someone else, knowing that the woman I love has a life of her own, with a different man.”

“Don’t tell me about a different man. I heard someone calling Crys this morning, and the mere sound of a male voice made me want to break her phone.”

Kameron laughed. “See? This is exactly what I’m trying to tell you. Think about it, man. A baby will be happy only if their parents are happy. Can you be happy with Kim?”

“I don’t want the baby to grow up without me.”

“It’s not like Kim and the baby will move to another planet, right? You can spend as much time with your kid as you want. Or are you afraid she wouldn’t let you?”

“Anything’s possible.”

“Listen, Liam, I’ll be honest with you, I never believed you and Kim could make it work. And don’t get me wrong, she’s attractive and funny, and no doubt she likes you, but as for love – I don’t think it ever existed between you two.”

“I never thought I needed love to be a part of a relationship. Turns out, it was the only thing that I was missing.”

“Why don’t you talk to Stanley?”

“No.”

“You two have known each other since childhood. He can’t kill you for falling in love with his sister.”

“But he will.”

“Is that what stopped you six years ago? The fear of Dr. Stanley Burk cutting off your balls?”

I smirked. “I used to think that it was one of the reasons. But now I know that the real reason was Crystal. She was so young, with big dreams for her future. And I was just a guy who never missed a single skirt.”

“But you would miss them all if you gave what you two shared a chance. Trust me, I know what I’m talking about. I met Liz when she was eighteen, I was older than her, but it never stopped me from being with her. If it wasn’t for my stupid jealousy, I would never have missed watching my baby growing in her belly. So please, think twice about who you want to see by your side. Don’t make the same mistakes I did. It won’t do anyone any good.”

“You know how much Crystal loves babies. She’s crazy about Olivia, even though she’s not her daughter. She will never take me away from my baby. Even if for that, she will have to sacrifice what she feels for me.”

“I still think you need to talk to Stan. He has always been the wisest of us.”

“I don’t think he will stick to being wise in this particular case.”

“I’m sure your balls have nothing to be afraid of.”

“Very funny.”

“Talk to him, Liam. And don’t let stupid rules and marriage stereotypes ruin your life. You’ve always been damn good at ignoring them, remember?”