CHAPTER TWO

6 years ago

There had to be a logical explanation for nature’s decision to make certain men ungodly beautiful and as jerky as shit. And to my great disappointment, Liam just had to be one of them. But what was even more disappointing – I liked it. No, scratch that – I LOVED IT.

I hated myself for being so weak around him, but I couldn’t help it: my heart raced in my chest and did a double jump whenever he pronounced my name; my legs turned into Jell-O. I have had a secret crush on him since the very first time he said ‘Hi’ to me, years ago. Back then, I was just a girl with two pink ribbons in my hair and one of my front teeth missing, but I still thought he was just like one of those princes from my favorite fairy tales that mom read me every night. His chestnut hair was a slight mess, and combined with his dark-blue eyes and the most charming smile I had ever seen, he won my heart at first sight. I used to write his name in my diary and surround it with pink hearts, wishing one day he would send me a Valentine’s card, saying how much he liked me.

Yeah, well, that was before I realized he was far from being a prince charming. When a few years later I saw him kissing one of Springs cheerleaders, I swore I would never look in his direction again. Just to keep staring at him every time he and Stanley crossed the threshold of our house… So much for my sworn-off-Liam rule, damn it.

Growing up didn’t change a thing. My heart still refused to listen to my reasoning. And my childhood crush just had to become even more handsome. I bet now he had even less free time than three years ago, when Stan asked him to stay with me because my right hand was broken and I couldn’t do anything on my own, and since our parents were on vacation, there was no one else to help me. But, instead of helping me, Liam brought a bowl of popcorn and a few cans of Coke, probably thinking it would be enough to keep me alive for the next couple of hours or so, and then disappeared saying he had very little time and a very long list of things to do. Turned out, he had a very long list of girlfriends to catch up on in one night. That’s why next time we met the first thing I said was, “Hope your tool’s doing well? After so many things you guys had to do the other night...”

It was the second time in my life that I swore I would never look in Liam’s direction again. Just to bump into his Naked Glorious God-help-me Highness after almost a year of not seeing him. Fucking great…

I sat on my bed and sighed. I was hopeless. And he was an ass. Perfect match, right?

***

Present Day

“Congratulations, ladies! You did a great job.” Kameron smiled at his wife and then at me.

The fashion show was over and judging by the happy faces of our guests, Liz was going to have another busy couple of months ahead.

“I would never be able to do it all without my wonderful assistant,” she said to me.

“You are welcome, darling. You know how much I love what we do.”

Stanley spoke, “Has anyone seen Liam? He wanted to tell us something, but then the show began; he said he would talk to us later.”

“Do you know what it was that he wanted to tell us?” Kameron asked.

“Nope. But judging by his expression, it was something important.”

I looked around the room, as curious as ever. “There he is,” I said, spotting Liam in the company of one of our models. Well, of course, where else could he be if not flirting with another pair of over pumped lips?

I used to think that I was over him, that I didn’t care how many girls he dated at the same time, that I didn’t feel anything for him. But for some sick reason, I could still feel the tiny bunches of jealousy forming within and then eating me alive, even though I had never had a reason to be jealous about the guy who never belonged to me.

Kameron waved for Liam to come over, but I just couldn’t stand the idea of being so close to him again, or talk to him. The unexpected meeting at the threshold of my office was more than enough for one night. For months, I’d been trying to avoid him. And I did a damn good job with it. Even when someone started talking about him, I pretended I wasn’t listening. I dived into my work and at some point, I realized that my disease named ‘Crush on Liam’ was not as unbearable as it used to be anymore. And then, he just had to come knocking at my door and ruin everything.

As always, I couldn’t stop staring at him. His eyes… God, I never seemed to be able to look away once they trapped me in the prison of their spellbinding, dark-blue depth.

Why him, for crying out loud?

I never knew how to answer that question. There were many guys who asked me out, sent flowers and tons of compliments my way, but none of them was him. Not even close. Something must have been terribly wrong with me if I still harbored a soft spot for the man whose imperfections outweighed the little good I could find in him. The more of an ass he was, the deeper I fell for him.

Un-freaking-believable…

“I need to do something urgent,” I whispered to Liz. “See you later.”

And before she would protest, I slipped through the crowd and rushed to hide in the safety of my cozy office. I have been working so much these days; it turned into my second home. Sometimes I stayed in the studio so long, I would crash on the couch, too tired to drive back home. Thank God, Liz never caught me sleeping at work, or she would fire me just to make me take a break.

Work was my cure. It helped me forget the shit that my life was full of. It wasn’t just about Liam and his attractiveness that made my knees tremble, there was more to it. But I didn’t want to let it bring me down. I had been down once, and it was no fun; I never wanted to feel like that again. Even though recently I felt like I was losing myself even faster than six years ago.

It started the day my brother called me and told me about our father’s health problems. He needed an operation and we both knew that after it, his life would never be the same again. Our lives changed too. Delia, the nurse, stayed with him for the biggest part of the day, and on the weekends, Stan, mom and I took shifts looking after him. Considering how little he could do on his own, seeing him like that made my heart bleed.

The night before his operation, I couldn’t fall asleep. I got dressed in a pair of jeans and an old hoodie, grabbed my car keys and went to the only place where I always found much-needed peace – the lake house. When Stan and I were kids, our parents often took us there on the weekends. But that night, I was not the only visitor of the place. Liam was there too… I didn’t know Stan had given him a spare key. I was kind of curious to know what he needed it for. Something was telling me that it was not just about another sexy rendezvous.

Liam met me on the terrace. Needless to say, we were more than surprised to see each other there.

“I didn’t know you were going to come here tonight,” Liam said, shifting uncomfortably from one foot to another.

“I could say the same about you. What are you doing here?” My eyes traveled to the glass of whiskey he was holding in one hand. Wearing jeans and a black shirt, he looked a lot younger than in those tailored suits he wore for work. But something about him felt off.

“I needed to run away…” He said. “Hope you don’t mind if I stay here for the night?”

I was too stressed to mind.

“I don’t,” I said. We walked into the house and I closed the door behind me.

I had never seen Liam so sad. His always bright and smiling eyes were full of something I couldn’t understand.

“What happened to you?” I went to the coffee table where a bottle of amber liquid was sitting and poured some into a spare glass.

“Long week. And you?”

“I’m scared…” I said. There was no point in lying. I knew dad needed an operation, but no one could guarantee its successful ending.

Liam nodded and took a sip of his drink. “Stan told me about your dad. I’m so sorry…”

I leaned against the back of the couch and sighed. Silence filled the room. The only sound to break it was the burning fireplace. I gave Liam one more look, came over to the fire, and sat down on the carpet, with my face welcoming the warmth coming from the flames.

“If you want, I will leave you alone,” Liam said.

“No,” I protested with my eyes still focused on the gold and scarlet spurts of flame. I was kind of surprised to hear my next word. “Stay.” Despite my sucky mood and my, let’s say ‘eventful’ past with Liam, I was glad to see him tonight.

I didn’t turn to see if he stayed, but a few moments later, he came to where I was sitting and sat down next to me.

I swallowed the contents of my glass in one gulp and grimaced as the burning liquid ran down my throat and landed at the bottom of my empty stomach. I hated whiskey. But right now, I welcomed the bitterness and the heat it sent through my veins. All I wanted was to forget everything my mind was filled with.

Liam stayed quiet. So I spoke first, “Remember Stan’s fourteenth birthday?”

He laughed under his breath. “Hard to forget. You pushed me into the lake, into mid-April, freezing-my-balls lake, and I drenched to the bone. I had been fevering for three days after that. Thank God, I didn’t get pneumonia. What did I do to deserve that, by the way?”

“You called me Piglet, because I was wearing a pink shirt that reminded you of Piglet from Winnie the Pooh.”

“Oh, right! The shirt… It was very funny. But I honestly didn’t mean to offend you.”

“Liar. You knew I would get pissed and you pushed the bottom.”

“I’m sorry. I really am…”

I turned to look at him, ready to see another scoff on his face, but there was none. He actually looked so miserable.

I frowned. “You sure you’re okay? I mean, you look somehow different tonight. As if you were not you.”

He thought for a moment. “It’s probably because you have never tried to see the real me.”

I smirked. “It’s probably because the only you I remember seeing is an asshole who has been trying to psyche me out for as long as I can remember knowing him.”

A ghost of a smile touched his lips. His glorious, perfectly sculptured, full lips that I had been imagining kissing for years. I would still give away a lot to kiss them. Damn it…

We stared at each other. I could hear the clock ticking on the wall, as if counting down seconds to the moment I would let my defense go. The tension between us got thicker with every beat of my heart. I could almost feel the weight of it on my shoulders. His gaze was as heavy as thundercloud; the darkness of his eyes did weird things to my body and mind. He knew what I was thinking as well as I knew what he was thinking… Because our thoughts were the same.

Unintentionally, I leaned closer, close enough to feel his breathing feather my lips; the butterflies in my belly did a wild dance. I knew it wasn’t whiskey messing with my head, it was the pain… The pain that I had been trying to suppress for so long; sometimes I felt like it would never go away.

His gaze held mine, drinking me in like I was the only source of water in the desert of his secrets thoughts and wishes. He leaned forward until I felt his lips brush against mine. He wasn’t kissing me, not really; it was more like a talk our lips were having in the words that only they could understand.

He smelled like whiskey and I wondered if his lips tasted as good as I remembered. Because there was a kiss to remember – a kiss that marked the beginning of one of the most terrifying nights in my life. That night divided my life into two parts - before and after. But the only thing that bound the two periods of my life was here with me now, sitting so close to me, swallowing me in the vortex of heat, excitement and the desire to lose myself in him, endlessly and completely.

I made the last move, put my palm at the back of his neck and brought his lips to mine, letting the sweet connection take me away.

Our tongues slid against each other in a slow exploration, igniting the fire in our bodies that was so hard to control, and nearly impossible to stamp out. A kiss that was supposed to be nothing but a physical touch, suddenly turned into something bigger, instantly drifting us into a different reality, where no pain or regrets existed – only heavenly fusion that touched not only our skin, but our hearts and souls as well. It was full of seduction and momentary hesitation that followed by another wave of pure pleasure we were giving and taking at the same time.

I had never been kissed like that before. And I surely never kissed anyone the way I was kissing Liam now. Years of dreaming of him would never give enough credit to what it actually felt like to be with him, lip to lip.

His lips moved smoothly against mine, then he replaced them with the tip of his tongue and started drawing invisible lines across my mouth in a teasing manner. He gently grasped my lower lip and sucked it, then releasing it painfully slowly.

His hands slid up my hips and he pulled me closer so I could sit on his lap, facing him.

Our eyes locked. I could see the reflection of fire dancing in his gaze, making it look even darker than a few moments ago.

We didn’t talk. But no words were needed. It was as if all those years of watching him changing dates, like one can change gloves, didn’t exist at all. Right then and there, he was mine, and mine only.

He pushed me on the carpet and covered my body with his. His lips crashed into mine.

My hands flew up, with my fingers tangling in his hair. His closeness made me drunk and I enjoyed it like never before.

I was aware of every small part of his body touching mine. The touch of one particular area made me lose my mind. And if it wasn’t for the secret I kept from him and everyone else for years, I would probably let the play last a lot longer. But the moment his palm slipped under my hoodie and touched the scar on my belly, I panicked.

“What’s that?” He asked, breaking the kiss. Without asking for permission, he pushed the hoodie up to my breast and I saw his jaw tighten.

My heart skipped a beat.

“What happened to you?” He asked, still staring at the ugly reminder of the night I never wanted to remember happening.

“Nothing.” I quickly pushed the hoodie down and rolled onto my left side, dying to hide somewhere no one would ever be able to find me.

“Crystal… You can tell me anything. You know that, right?”

“No, I can’t.”

“Why not?”

I turned to face him, but instead of letting my fears go and telling him the truth, I did the only thing that felt right at that moment. I stood up and walked out of the room, then left the house, got into my car and sped away from the lake house and the man I loved so much it almost killed me…