Mountains punched the landscape up on the drive back to L.A., young and raw and still rough-edged. River’s eyes followed the changes in the landscape as cacti gave way to shrubs and mountains, and then softened again once they passed through the heart of the Rockies.

The mood between them was not like their flirtatious mood on the way there. Now, they chatted now and then about little things, but there was no mention of where they’d been or where they were going. Just the weather, the kinds of plants they passed, what fights were coming up for Zeph’s friends, the awesome makeup palette River was going to buy with his winnings.

It was obvious they were both more introspective, but River didn’t want to push his luck by making Zeph talk if he was in another of those moods.

Still, his heart jolted with disappointment stronger than he usually felt at the end of a trip when his apartment building came into view.

“There we go, then,” Zeph said, stopping the car at the curb. He got out, probably to help River get his suitcase and duffel bag.

Jesus. It felt like a lifetime ago he’d been waiting on the curb to be picked up, excited and nervous and unsure what to expect with this man he hadn’t seen in so many years.

River drew on that memory, and how fucking happy he’d felt in this week and a half, to give him strength. Once the suitcases were out, his words rushed out. “We should talk about this.”

“About…?” Zeph regarded him warily, clearly knowing where he was going.

“Us.”

Zeph rubbed his face and shifted from foot to foot, then nodded. “Right. You mean the deal.”

“Yeah. About that.” This was like watching nail polish dry. River hurried the conversation along to the important part. “I want to continue it.” Before Zeph could interrupt, he held up a hand. “I don’t want to put pressure on you, but… I want more. More of what we had, and maybe more, you know, commitment. We’d have to see how it went. But I know I don’t want it to end after ten days just because some calendar tells us it should.”

“The deal,” Zeph repeated softly, under his breath, as if reminding himself what this was all about.

“The deal,” River echoed. Shit, Zeph probably needed a lot more time to process this if he hadn’t been thinking about this proposal all the way from Vegas. “I don’t want to pressure you, but… I know I’m not wrong. You felt it, too.”

“Felt what?”

River scoffed at Zeph and folded his arms. He wasn’t going to spell it out and scare Zeph out.

Maybe that was the wrong tack. Zeph was already shaking his head, pulling his t-shirt down and shoving his hands into his pockets. “Yeah, no. You knew—we both knew—it was a limited-time thing.”

“It was. It started that way. No law says it has to keep being that,” River argued, trying to keep his voice down and appeal to Zeph’s heart. “Not if we want more.”

“I don’t.” Zeph wouldn’t meet his eyes. He was looking at River’s luggage. River raised one brow, tapped his foot, and waited for Zeph to make eye contact. When he didn’t, River snapped his fingers.

“I don’t believe you. Look me in the eyes and tell me that.”

Zeph gritted his jaw, the muscle in his arms twitching as he pulled his hands out of his pockets and folded his arms instead. He did look at River, but his face was carefully neutral. Like he was in the ring, trying not to give any hints to the other fighter. “I don’t want to extend the deal.”

“Bullshit,” River scoffed. “I like you. Time didn’t change that. You’ve got some kind of feelings for me.”

“I don’t have feelings for you.” Zeph wasn’t looking at him again.

Whatever it was, it wasn’t about River. He could tell when he was hitting a wall that was a lot older and more stubborn than their history. It pissed him off that there was nothing he could do to crack it from the other side.

“Zeph…”

But Zeph turned for the driver’s side door, pulling it open. “I better get home before traffic gets bad.”

River managed to hold back his tears. He raised a hand quickly. “Right. See you.”

He got something like a see you back from Zeph in some manly grunt, but he didn’t wait around. He listened to Zeph pull away as he hauled his luggage to the front door of the building.

River managed to wait until the cold walls of his apartment surrounded him again, and then he cried.

It wasn’t easy feeling the pain of rejection and knowing that he’d done just that to pretty much every guy who’d tried to turn a hookup into more. Every fucking time one of them tried to tell him they felt a chance for more, he hadn’t felt it himself. It felt a bit like nasty karmic payback.

But it was ten times worse knowing that Zeph, whether he knew it or not, wasn’t in that boat. They both felt whatever crazy fucking chemistry pulled them together like magnets after five years without a word from each other.

We could be so good together, if he’d give us a chance.