evie

In my emotional distress, I hadn’t considered the fact that I had no car until I’d stomped my way down the stairs to his apartment. After a long string of profanity and a quick call to the taxi service I’d had on speed dial all week, I walk a block to the diner down the street and sulk over pie in a corner booth.

I can’t believe I’d been so stupid, so naïve.

Normally, I’d blame it all on him being him, but this was my own damned fault.

I knew going into this who Dash was as a person, that aside from his mother’s death, he’d never taken anything seriously since we were kids.

We’d both been clear in the beginning. This was always supposed to be about us scratching an itch, but that’s not what was bothering me as I stabbed at the springy meringue staring back at me.

The thing making my chest clench, my stomach sink, my heart downright shatter in the back, corner booth of this shitty ass diner over this funky ass pie is that I fell for his shit.

I’d seen him womanize, lie and cheat women our whole adult lives and now, I let myself become one of them.

I was one of them and despite my best efforts, I not only fell for it, I put my trust in him.

I trusted him and he pulled the same shit on me as every other woman he’s ever come in contact with. The only difference is that I should have known better. I did know better and I let him hurt me anyway.

My phone rings, my heart racing for a split second with foolish hope until I see it’s an automated message from the cab service. I set a few bills onto the table and make my way outside, slipping into the waiting cab and don’t risk a glance back.

If he wants a clean break, he just got it.

Point taken.

Itch scratched.

dash

Instead of standing behind the bar all night staring at the clock, I thought about calling in so I could hole up in my apartment and feel sorry for myself.

Even if I thought I could manage a full shift right now without making a total ass out of myself, the bar was only a few blocks from Evie’s. I knew if I went to work, I’d risk her coming in with Mason before her flight or worse, leaving halfway through my shift to drive to her house.

That being said I also knew the same thing applied at my apartment. The only difference is I wouldn’t have the distraction of work.

So, here I am.

I lucked out, Evie never came in. By the time her plane was likely flying over the bar, I was half drunk and busy as hell.

Girls are everywhere, a few of them relentless in their obvious attempts to pick me up, but I’m just not interested.

The only girl I’ve ever felt anything for is gone and hates me.

I keep trying to bullshit myself with the same old lines I’d told Mason a half-dozen times. I’d get over this shit eventually. I’d feel better in no time, able to return to my old ways.

It didn’t matter right now, though. Even if I didn’t know it was bullshit, I knew I couldn’t expect any of that any time soon.

It damn sure wasn’t gonna be tonight.

I’m lost in my thoughts, choking on the emotion I’m sure will never leave my chest when my name breaks my thoughts.

I glance up and see Mason walking toward me, taking in my deflated frame as I lean over the bar.

“Hey man,” he says, giving me a half wave. “How’s it going?”

“Good,” I lie, reaching below me for a beer and sliding it over to him. “How ‘bout you?”

“Meh,” he shrugs, taking a long pull from his beer. “Just got back from the airport.”

“She headed back?”

“Yeah,” he nods, thankfully more preoccupied with his phone than the distraught look on my face. “Yeah, she actually should be landing any time now. It’s not a long flight.”

I say nothing, opting to nod instead as I pretend to busy myself with wiping the bar and collecting the two empty glasses I’d already cleaned twice.

“You alright?” I manage, not looking up. “You’re usually not this bummed when she leaves. Something happen?”

“No man, I’m good,” he shakes his head, waving me off. “Actually, things are great. I’m not sure what happened, but she told me on the way up she’s leaning toward taking that job in New York.”

His words cause me to stop my movements all at once. I’d known it was the best for her, even helped in my own fucked up way, but the reality of Evie actually going halfway across the country?

The thought I very well may never see her again?

I didn’t know how I’d ever be able to get over that.

“That’s great,” I whisper, my voice coming out broken enough that he notices, causing me to bite my tongue, internally kick myself.

You made it this long. Don’t fuck it up now.

“You alright, man?” he asks, his eyebrows crinkling together in concern as he takes me in. “You don’t look so good.”

“Yeah,” I wave him off. “Yeah, I think it’s just some… I don’t know, bad Chinese or whatever,” I shake my head, scurrying for any excuse. “I’ll be right back.”

I make my way to the restroom, emptying the contents of my stomach before I stumble to the sink, rinsing my mouth and splashing cold water over my face.

She’s leaving.

“You gotta get it together, man,” I tell myself.

She’s fucking gone.

“You knew this was gonna happen…”

She hates you.

I face myself in the mirror, the sting of fresh tears flooding me at the same time I feel my chest fill with a weight I never wanted to carry.

“This is for the best,” I whisper to myself, steadying myself as I prop my palms on the edge of the sink. “This is the best thing for both of us.”

If that’s true, then why do I feel this way?

If that’s the truth, then why can’t I breathe?