When my eyes peeled open, I instinctually reached over to Trex’s side of the bed. It only took a second to remember he wasn’t there. I clutched his pillow and pulled it to my chest, hugging it to me, breathing him in. His was my very favorite smell, now tied with the way Maddie’s hair smelled after a bath.

I could hear her cooing through the baby monitor, the crib mattress crackling under her as she moved. I let go of the pillow and sat up, letting my feet hang over the side. Maddie loved getting up before the sun, just like Trex. Even though her birth had been surrounded by death, she was still a bright light in the darkness; despite losing Lane, and even Shawn, and…I closed my eyes, refusing to think about the rest.

I slipped my feet into my house shoes and swiped my robe off the end corner of the bed, wrapping it around me as I made my way across the hall to the nursery. The house was nearly silent, seeming even bigger than it did before. Now that Shawn and his friends weren’t a worry, I was even more free. No one could ever hurt me or Maddie again.

I pushed on the wooden door of her nursery, the dim light from the kitchen pouring in. Maddie’s crib was empty.

“Good morning, Mommy,” Trex said softly, holding Maddie against his chest. He was rocking her, gently petting the little bit of blond hair on her head. She was so tiny and relaxed in his arms, her inch-long fingers wrapped around one of Trex’s.

I leaned against the door jamb, crossing my arms. “Having fun without me, I see,” I whispered.

Maddie shifted, turning her head toward my voice.

“We were trying to let you sleep in. Bad dreams again?”

I shook my head. “Since the senator helped make sure there were no charges filed against any of you, they’ve been less frequent. It’s my boobs. They’ve become alarm clocks.”

“Good about the dreams. Not sure about the boobs.”

Maddie whimpered.

“Uh-oh. Someone wants breakfast,” Trex said.

Trex stood, and I held out my arms. We switched places, and I lay Maddie across my lap, lifting my shirt and effortlessly latching her on to my breast. Trex handed me a pillow, helping me to situate it under the baby while she suckled. He handed me two burp cloths, and I put one over my shoulder, the other under my nursing bra to keep from making a mess on the other side. We were already a well-oiled machine.

He bent down to kiss me. “How about breakfast for you?”

I sighed. “Anything. I wake up feeling starved nowadays.”

“Eggs and bacon coming right up.” His socks scooted across the carpet, and then he stepped out into the hall. His footsteps were barely audible, but I could hear him rummaging around in the kitchen as quietly as he could.

I looked down, meeting Maddie’s gaze. She was all me: my eyes, my chin, my bone structure. I wished I had my baby photos so I could show Trex just how much she favored me, but he didn’t need convincing. “Good morning, my love,” I cooed, pushing back on my feet to rock us back and forth.

Trex had taken two weeks off work for paternity leave, but everyone was off work for New Year’s Day, and we were expecting all of our friends over for a visit. Trex’s entire team was coming, and so were Hailey and Trex’s parents, Stavros and Ander, the Alpine hotshots, and a few from other crews that I’d gotten to know from Black Mesa and the Craig crew. J.D., Carly, and their girls were also on their way. I hadn’t seen Carly since she dropped me off at the Killeen, Texas, bus station. I was eager to hug her and thank her. If it weren’t for Carly, I wouldn’t be in this room with my daughter, my boyfriend cooking for me down the hall. It was more likely that I wouldn’t be in this world at all.

I’d thought about how to explain all of this to Maddie someday, to be honest in the most gentle way possible, but I just had to hope it would come to me. There was no easy way to say that Trex wasn’t her real father and that Shawn had hurt me in ways I could never admit. That he had been killed trying to kill Trex after he’d murdered a young woman whose only crime was to try to use Shawn to make her ex-lover jealous.

“They finally put it in the paper. Lane’s obituary,” I said.

“I saw,” Trex said, his face somber. “She was a mess, but she didn’t deserve that.”

I shook my head. “I know what she felt. I know the pain, everything he put her through. I can’t stop thinking about it. And Stavros and Ander struggling without Tilde…”

“And you struggling without Tilde.”

I nodded. We talked so freely now, about everything. With everything that had happened, I had to. “How did you do it? Go on like normal after you know what you know and you’ve seen what you’ve seen?”

“It’s a new normal. It takes time. Sometimes it takes counseling, and that’s okay.”

I looked down at Maddie, knowing I owed it to her to heal. “That’s a good idea.”

“We can go together if you want.”

I weighed the pros and cons of omitting the truth and letting my little girl go the rest of her life without that burden. Trex’s idea weeks before to keep the truth from Maddie didn’t seem so bad. No one alive but Trex and me knew that Maddie wasn’t biologically his. No one ever had to know.

When Maddie finished nursing, I held her against my chest, patting and rubbing her back until she let out the tiniest burp, and then I lay her back down in her crib. She fussed for just a few seconds before falling back asleep.

“Trex?” I said, joining him in the kitchen, baby monitor in hand.

“Yeah, baby?” he said, concentrating on not dumping the eggs as he transferred them from the skillet to our plates.

“I was thinking…I’ve been practically running the hotel, anyway. I don’t want it to close. We made so many good memories there.”

“What are you thinking?”

“I thought…maybe…we might consider getting into the hospitality business.”

He didn’t hesitate. “You would be good at it. And I bet Stavros would make you a helluva deal.”

I smiled. “Yeah?”

He nodded without hesitation. “Yeah. You loved it there.”

“Maybe I will.” I hesitated.

“Is there something else?”

“What you said before, about adopting Maddie?”

“Yeah?” he said, using the tongs to pick up the bacon and set them on our plates. He turned off the burners and then turned around, a plate in each hand.

“I’ve been thinking how we’re going to explain all of this to her. You should adopt her, and that’s it. She’s yours. She’s always been yours.”

“What do you mean?” he asked, his brows pulling together.

“I think you’re right. Omitting the truth to protect someone you love isn’t the worst thing in the world. I can’t think of a single reason why we should burden Maddie with the truth about Shawn. I think we should bury it and never talk about it again.”

“So…never tell her…”

“You’re her dad. I’m her mom. That’s the truth.”

“You’re sure?”

I nodded. “You in?”

Trex put the plates on the table and wrapped his arms around me. He kissed me gently, letting his lips linger there for a while before answering. “For life.”

I sat down at the dining table next to Trex, holding his hand while I said a quick prayer, and then dug into his famous scrambled eggs. I hummed in satisfaction.

Trex sighed. “Whew, do I miss that sound.”

I giggled. “Four and a half more weeks.”

He winced. “Totally understandable, and yet, total torture.”

“We have a lot to do today,” I said. “I’m cleaning, you’re getting refreshments, and—”

“Taking down the Christmas lights off the house and putting away the decorations. Also, celebrating the first New Year’s Day that I’m not hung over.”

I smiled, resting my chin on the heel of my hand. “I remember the first time I saw you, how obnoxiously persistent you were in your kindness, how, without ever being asked or expecting anything in return, you took care of me, watched out for me, showed me what love should look like before I knew I loved you. Even when I wasn’t sure, dragged my feet, acted stubborn…you loved me anyway.” I gestured to the house. “You bought all of this for us on the hope I’d want it, too.” I shook my head. “How? How did I get so lucky?”

He smiled, taking my hand and kissing my palm. “No, I’m definitely the lucky one.”

“I’ve done nothing but fight you every step of the way.”

“It was worth it,” he said, chewing the bite of bacon he’d just put into his mouth. He looked around the room. “You’re my home. This is our home. Maddie makes it complete. Believe me, I’ve spent a lifetime of not being good for anyone. If I’m good, it’s because of you. If I’m kind, it’s because you make me want to be.”

I touched his cheek, letting my fingers run over the stubble on his jaw. “I am so in love with you.”

He sighed, pure contentment on his face. In the next moment, his eyes lit up. “Shit. I was going to do this later when everyone got here.” He stood, walking over to the Christmas tree, and plucking a box from the branches in the back. “I can’t not do it now. It’s too perfect of a moment.”

He sat the box in front of me, and my eyes immediately teared up.

“Spoiler alert,” he said.

“It’s not what I think?” I said, opening the lid. It was my ring, the amethyst replaced with Maddie’s December birthstone, a deep blue tanzanite. On the right was Trex’s June stone, and mine on the left.

“Moonstone for mine, because I’m manly and pearl just won’t do. And yours is aquamarine. It turns out certain months like March have a few options. Yours could have also been a bloodstone but I liked the way the aquamarine looked with the others. Hope that’s okay.”

The rest of the stones on each side were tiny diamonds. “It’s beautiful,” I said, wiping my cheek.

“And while I was there…” He held up a second ring between us.

The band was gold, the diamond attached was oval with a dozen tiny diamonds bordering it and lining the sides of the band.

I covered my mouth with one hand, staring at the perfection pinched between his fingers, my eyes instantly blurred with tears.

“First things first,” he said, getting on one knee. “This isn’t how I planned. But when you say you love me like that, all plans go out the window. Darby…” He sighed and grinned. “I’ve been saying for years that you were somewhere in my future. The first time I set eyes on you, I realized love at first sight existed. The night we spent hours talking in the lobby of the hotel, our first date, the first time we spent the night together, the first time I went with you to a doctor’s appointment, the first time you told me you loved me, the first time you saw the house in person…they all tie for being the best days of my life…so far. And all of those combined don’t compare to the moment I saw you hold Maddie the first time. You and that little girl,” he said, stopping a moment to clear his throat, “you’ve given me something I’ve never had before. And it would be my extreme privilege and honor if you would be my wife. Darby Rose Dixon, will you marry me?”

I wiped the tears away and nodded, my shoulders shaking as I cried. Trex, as always, waited patiently. It all made sense. I’d been lost for him to find. As soon as I could form a coherent word, I spoke. “Yes.”

Trex slid the ring over my finger and then sat up on his knees to hug me. He buried his face in my neck, his cheeks as wet as mine. “I love you,” he whispered.

“We love you,” I said, knowing Maddie was fine with me speaking for her while she slept.

From that moment on, we would have perfect days, the ones that sucked, the hard ones, the ones that left us lying in bed next to each other, exhausted but holding hands. The kind of perfection where, in those mundane and sometimes chaotic moments, we found the acceptance and happiness we’d both been searching for.