23
“Are you sure about quitting the gallery?” I asked Tania.
She handed me a mug of hot chocolate as I folded my legs underneath me on her sofa. We were catching up on each other’s news, not having been able to see each other for weeks because of our hectic schedules.
“I’m sure and terrified, but I know I need to do it. I’d rather be an independent dealer working for collectors and representing artists. I’ve learned a lot about the art business and the art world, met a lot of personalities, understood how things work, but at the end of the day, I don’t want to own my own gallery or run someone else’s. The job’s been feeling dead-end for a while now.”
“Just a job.”
“Exactly. And I don’t want just a job. I want something more.”
“How did Neil take it?” I asked.
“He tried to talk me out of it, but he gets it. We’d talked about opening our own gallery together one day, but my heart’s just not in it.”
“Good for you for realizing that,” I said. “That would be awful if you made a commitment to Neil and then you weren’t really into it.”
“That’s how I feel. Better to explore now, and if I want, I can go back, right?”
“Sure, why not? I’m excited for you, my adventurer.”
“Thank you.”
“It’s wonderful. It’s the right move.”
My gaze fell on a framed photo of Tania and her best friend Grace from high school back in South Dakota. Grace had just gotten married when I’d first met Tania four years ago, and she had married a biker, Dig, an officer of the One-Eyed Jacks, their local club. Recently, Dig had gotten killed in some sort of assassination by a rival club. Tania had told me how her mother had called her to tell her the horrible news. Grace had survived a bullet wound, and the death of her unborn child, and she’d killed the fucker who’d gunned down her man.
Good for you, Grace. Good for you.
“How’s Grace doing?” I asked.
“I don’t know.”
“What do you mean, you don’t know?”
“I went home for Dig’s funeral.”
“Right.”
“The night before she tried to kill herself in the hospital.”
“No!”
“Yes. It was horrible. They pumped her stomach, though. None of us could see her after, and then I had to leave the next day to get back here for work. After I left, Grace’s sister, Ruby, let my mom see her, which was good. Mom said she was far gone, very depressed.” Tania wiped at her watery eyes. “Grace was the one who always looked at the positive in any situation. I was always Ms. Worst Case Scenario. She really wanted that baby. Their baby. Now no baby, and—oh yeah—no more babies for her ever again after her injuries and the surgery she had to have. I have no idea how to help her.”
“Maybe now she just needs to focus on herself, and soon enough she’ll be ready for friends and be open to you reaching out. All you can do is be patient and understanding and be there for her whenever she’s ready.”
“Grace got out of the hospital, but she hasn’t returned my calls. I called Ruby last week, and she was pretty tight-lipped with me, which pissed me off. I’m trying to be understanding, but it’s harder than I expected.”
“Tough.”
“I know.”
A pounding at the door. Our heads jerked toward the booming noise. “Who the hell is that this time of night?” Tania shot up from her sofa.
I grabbed her arm. “I’m going in your bedroom.”
“Go.”
I gathered my mug and sweater, jacket and backpack, and went into Tania’s small bedroom. I stashed everything under the bed, closed the door behind me and waited, every cell in my body listening.
Was it finally happening? Did they find me?
“Boner? What the hell are you doing here?” Tania’s shriek was somewhere between shock and delight.
Boner was a member of the One-Eyed Jacks from her hometown. Tania had told me he was Dig’s best friend and a close friend of Grace’s.
“Where is she?” His voice was tortured, loud, almost off key.
I went to the door and peeked through the opening I’d left. Boner was tall and thin, with long dark wavy hair and green eyes that gleamed in the lamp light. He was emotional, distraught. Something was very wrong.
“Who?” asked Tania.
“Who? Are you kidding me? I’ve been riding straight to get to you so I could look you in the eye myself ‘cause I can tell when I’m being lied to. Don’t you fucking lie to me!”
“Calm the hell down and talk some sense, would you?” Tania shot back. “You want a drink? Let me pour you a drink.”
Glasses clinked, a liquid poured from beyond my sightline. Heavy breathing and the sofa creaked. “What’s going on?” Tania’s even voice rose.
“She’s missing. Sister’s missing.”
Sister was the club’s nickname for Grace.
“What the hell are you talking about missing? Someone kidnap her or—” Tania’s voice was high pitched, making the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. My stomach dove and twisted like the innards of a washing machine with a double load on full power mode.
“No, not that,” said Boner. “She picked up and left. Not a word to anybody.”
“And Ruby?”
“Went with her. But that was weeks ago. Ruby’s back now and ain’t talking. She put Dig and Grace’s shit in storage, sold their house real quick. Now she’s left town too and got a job in Rapid. I went to see her, but she ain’t talking. You know Ruby.”
“Hard as nails.”
“Yeah.”
A glass slammed on the table.
“You were her best friend, Tania. You gotta tell me where she is. I gotta see her, make sure she’s okay. I can’t not know where she is. I just can’t!”
My heart twisted in my chest at the anguish in his voice.
“I wish I knew, but I don’t.”
“Don’t say you don’t know, Tan! Don’t say that! How is that possible? You two—”
“Since the funeral I’ve been calling her, but she never answers. Now you’re telling me she up and left town? Her home? Her friends?”
“Yeah. Gone. How could she do this? She needs us! I need her.”
“Yes, but she’s lost now, right? Oh shit, Boner...” Tania dissolved into tears.
Mumbling and muffled voices. Heated words.
I slid down to the floor. Grace, who’d had everything to live for, a husband she loved, a baby on the way, a good club as her family to protect her and keep her safe. But Grace was now destroyed. All of it gone, her whole world shattered, ripped from her. The two most important people in her life taken from her—her old man and their unborn baby. Taken by another club’s wrath, for real reasons or shits and giggles, who knew. Anything was possible on the turn of a dime.
Anything.
I knew that better than most, didn’t I?
My heart careened in my chest at the thought of losing Finger. Losing him now when we had gained so much. So much.
“Do you think she went into hiding for a reason? Are the Demon Seeds after her now?” Tania asked, her tone urgent.
“That’s what I’m trying to figure out here. I need to find her. Help her. She’s in the pit now. I know what that’s like, and I gotta pull her out. She contacts you, you let me know. Promise me.”
“I promise. You too. You find her, you call me. Please.”
“I will,” said Boner.
“If she can’t even talk to me or you right now,” said Tania, “then maybe she’s just getting out to start fresh. Maybe she needs to put all of it and all of us behind her for a little while. We’re all different, Boner. Maybe that’s what she needs and we have to give it to her.”
“No.”
“Maybe it’s too hard for her to stay and be surrounded by the Jacks, by everything that was Dig. Even you. She needs to get clean if she’s going to stay alive.” Tania let out a heavy sigh.
Boner and Tania continued their conversation, resignation and sadness clinging to every word. I leaned my head against the wall, the agony and frustration in their voices scouring through me. No one was sure if Dig’s death was a random kill or club rooted. The Jacks were on alert, on the defensive, ready for anything; a dangerous, treacherous place to be.
Did all that matter to Grace? I doubted it. Either way, for whatever reason, her family was destroyed, and she’d chosen to leave her home to stay sane.
“I’m outta here,” Boner said.
“You sure you’re okay?”
“I gotta get my shit together.” He sniffed in air. “You call me.”
“I will. You too.”
Pats on backs, murmuring, the door opened and shut. The chain drawn.
Tania opened the bedroom door and fell into my embrace. “Oh my God. Oh my God.”
I squeezed her tightly. “You okay?”
“I don’t know. Shit, I don’t know.”
“I think you’re right. I think Grace is just doing what she needs to do. Fresh start and all.”
“I hope so.”
I whispered, “I know so.”