67
“You’re sure about the border?”
“I’m sure about the border.” Her voice had a snap to it.
“Easy, baby.”
Lenore stayed focused on wiping down the blue tiles against the inner wall of her porch. “You asked me three times already.”
“Just want to be sure.”
“I’m sure.” She bent closer to the line of tiles I’d help her set up and cement along the porch. Yeah, she was sure about a lot of things. She had an instinct about color and line, about the arc of a thing, the feeling of it, its sound. Her way of thinking must be like music. Mine was more numbers and graphs. I wasn’t sure if it was a man/woman thing, or just a difference between me and Lenore. But it was a difference, and I liked it. I had to take my time with it.
Her cell phone came to life with a clip of a song with a driving guitar riff. She glanced at it and brought it to her ear.
“Hey, Mimi.”
Her store.
“No, no, you let her decide herself. I know the coral isn’t her best color, but that’s what she wants. If you push too hard, she’s going to have a spaz and cancel the order. She’ll come around, she always does. Okay. Thanks for checking with me. I’ll call you later.” She put the phone back at her side.
I was surrounded by the Empire of Lenore, the many kingdoms. My girl had blossomed into a fine woman of distinct tastes and choice. All these years she hadn’t hidden in the back seat. She’d gotten behind the wheel of her own car and steered through the dark, the fog, over broken bridges, steep climbs, twisty turns. And I was proud of her.
She sat back on her haunches, dropping the small microfiber cloth in her hand. “That looks good.”
I slid back on her porch bench and took a final swallow of my iced coffee. “It does. You’re right. Once we finish it up that strip of blue will liven up this view.”
“It’s soothing and stimulating all at once.” She was pleased.
I let out a laugh.
She turned, her ponytail flicking over her shoulder. “What?”
“I could think of things to do that are way more soothing and stimulating than looking at tile.”
She twisted her lips and joined me on the bench. “Head always in the gutter?”
“In your gutter, baby.” I slid a hand high around her thigh, over her buttery soft leggings in the crazy green and yellow pattern, and squeezed, flicking my thumb at her core. “In you.”
She took the coffee from me and sipped on the straw, placing a hand over mine on her leg. “That massage the other night was very soothing and very stimulating. Those hands of yours have major skills.”
“There’s a first time for everything.”
An eyebrow skidded up her forehead. “Uh huh.”
I wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close. “You naked in that light. Those oils, those scents.” I nipped her earlobe. “Got inspired.”
A small moan rose in the back of her throat, a slight tremble going through her.
“A good reminder,” I said.
“Reminder? Of what?”
“That it’s been a long, long time since you. My heart was pounding real fierce, like it was our first time being together. I liked it. I don’t want to let another moment of another day go by and not feel that way. Even when it’s just us talking, holding hands. You think what we have is common, just happens all the time? I don’t. I know it doesn’t.”
“I know,” she murmured in my throat.
She kissed the side of my jaw, and I closed my eyes, my heart thundering, my body charging with heat.
“You need to get back to your store?” I asked.
“Nope, Mimi’s got everything under control.”
“Nice ringtone, by the way.”
“It’s Beck.” A smile lit up her face. “From one of his latest songs.”
A twinge went off inside me. I couldn’t help the surge of jealousy that came over me whenever his name was mentioned, or when I passed by his room here at his mother’s house.
His mother.
She had another man in her life forever. And he was a part of her. The twenty plus years she was cut out of my life, she’d had him. I tried to ignore the tightness in my neck. These stupid, childish feelings kept creeping up, rolling through me like the blob in that old horror flick. It was asinine, I knew this. But those feelings were there like a fucking virus that wouldn’t die and only balled up inside me injecting my organs with its poison. Jealousy of a life not lived, and at its core pulsed dreaded inadequacy.
I’d seen the photos of the two of them. There was one photo she had in a mother of pearl frame in her room of him as a toddler, her holding him from behind. She was young and tired. The two of them looked sort of sad, the same full expression in their eyes, her clutching him for dear life. Another of him as a ten year old playing the guitar and his mother, her eyes closed, a dreamy smile on her face, her head bent toward the guitar, listening, appreciating. In every pic of him through high school, becoming a young man, she was confident, glowing. Beaming. They had grown up together, they were close.
“He’s on tour now. His band is one of the opening acts for The Heave,” she said.
“Oh yeah? I’ve heard of The Heave.”
“Beck did some major songwriting for this tour, not just the music, but lyrics too. He didn’t think it was his thing, that he didn’t have it in him, but he does, oh he does. I’m really disappointed that I’m not going to get a chance to go see him play on this tour, though. I have these meetings I can’t cancel with the makeup manufacturer.”
“That’s happening?”
“Yes. Just a few pieces to begin with—a liquid lipstick, a face powder, an eyeliner. Ronny, a friend of mine who’s a tattoo artist, had designed the Lenore’s Lace logo, and we did the makeup packaging together. Now the company has the samples ready to show me.”
Empire of Lenore, all the way.
“It’s crap timing, but there’s no getting around it.” She chewed on her lip. “I’ve never missed a show before. We’re both disappointed.”
“Have you told him about us?” I asked.
“I did. He’s glad. He’s been after me to be open to a new relationship for a long time.”
“You haven’t been?”
“No. His dad got remarried and had another baby pretty quickly after the divorce.”
“No kidding.”
“He and Pam always had a thing going on. They’re really good together. When you know, you know, and nothing else will do.”
I kissed the side of her face. “No, nothing else.”
She slid a hand up my chest. “Actually, Beck is coming out here next week.” Her fingers curled in my shirt. “After the show in Denver, they have a two day break. He’s going to come stay for a night, and I thought it would be nice if you two met.” Her voice was quiet, her gaze soft. This was important to her. Of course it was.
“Great,” I replied.
“Great.”
“You think I’ll pass inspection?”
“Oh please. He’s a generous soul, you’ll see.”
My gaze went back to the tile border we’d made.
“Hey, it’ll be fine.” She sat up straighter, taking the glass from my hand and planting it on the table. “Are you nervous or something?”
“Nah, I’m just—”
“The great outlaw leader of the Flames of Hell is nervous to meet a boy?”
“He’s no boy. He’s a man. A man who’s protective of his mother, and rightly so. A man who wants the best for her. I am the best for her, but I want him to see that and trust it.”
She hugged me, planting a kiss on my mouth.
I stroked the side of her face. “Weren’t you a little nervous or something just now, telling me about his visit?”
She let out a breath. “Yeah, a little.”
“I don’t want you to feel that. He’s your son.”
She frowned at the sudden harsh tone in my voice.
“Is that all it is?” She climbed into my lap, and something inside me shifted. It was her favorite spot when we talked about serious shit years ago, from the very beginning. She faced me, hands on my shoulders. “Is it something else?”
“Nah.” I took in a breath, shaking my head.
“Just spit it out.”
“He’s a part of your life that I had no part of. Something that we’d wanted together but didn’t get. Something I always wanted to be the one to give you. But it wasn’t me. I couldn’t give you that. I used to wonder what it would’ve been like, if only this or fucking that. I used to think it’d be great if I were able to turn back time, but that would erase Beck, and you wouldn’t want that. Stupid.”
“No, not stupid. Feelings are never stupid. They’re never up for judgement.”
“I had an old lady once who got pregnant. She had a miscarriage and freaked out after.”
Her eyes widened. “Oh. Shit, I’m sorry.”
My hands went around her waist, rubbing up and down her lower back. “I couldn’t respond or react the way she needed me to, the way any normal man would’ve. I felt disconnected from it, and relieved. Having a baby was an experience I’d only wanted with you. All that time you were raising your son, enjoying him, living that, and a piece of me hated it while another piece was glad that you had that. I am glad. I am. Shit, I’m not—”
Her hand clasped the back of my neck. “You gave it to me. When you threw everything to the wind and came back to Kansas for me. And with no plans, no escape route in place. You just came onto your greatest enemy’s territory. For me. The place where they made you suffer, tried to break you, kill you. When I looked up in that kitchen and saw you...totally blown away. Everything that I thought I knew about people, about life, my life, you blew it up in flames right there.
“Everything you see here—my house, my store, my son, my smile, my colors,” she tugged on her hair “—all of it is because of your bravery and your love. Your desire, and I’m not talking about sexual desire. You are in all of this. No, it didn’t work out for us back then, and I made sure of that, but you need to know something. Beck is the one who saved me, put me back together again, kept me sane. Not my work, not Eric. That boy. Through him, I got through having to let go of Zoë, of you. I stood up on my legs again and got stronger. I had to for him, and he made it easier and sweeter to face each day.”
“Come here.” I kissed her lips gently, gently, and she wrapped herself around me, squeezing me tighter. “Want to fuck you so bad right this second.” My voice came out all creaky and hoarse.
“Baby.”
“Just move an inch back, and I’ll open up and slip it right in past those tiny panties you got on.”
“Finger, no.”
I shook with laughter. “Come on. You used to like doing it in public. This is your house for shit’s sake.”
“This is my porch, and this is a small town, and I have neighbors.” She pushed back against my shoulders, but I held on tight.
“Yeah, but, you must have a naughty rep, what with the goodies you sell at your store.” I tugged at the zipper of my jeans. “Show ‘em what you’re made of. You got any handcuffs around? A spreader bar?” I ripped my zipper down.
“Finger, you take that monster out, I’m going to get up and go in the house and lock the door behind me. And you’ll be out here with your dick in the wind while Mrs. Morris next door is trimming her hedges like she’s about to do now, every Saturday a.m. like clockwork. And across the street, Tom is prepping his lawn mower as we speak.”
“Monster, huh?”
“Oh yeah,” she breathed, the edges of her mouth curling upwards.
“Monster needs you, baby,” I whispered against her lips, my hands curving under her ass, rocking her against my hips.
She let out a tiny moan. “I need him too.” She kissed me again. “Let’s go inside. But I want to finish the tiling after.”
“Oh yeah, the tiling—” I let out a chuckle as I bit her throat.
“We have to.”
“We will.” I tucked her legs around my middle, sat up and got us through the front door into the house. She shut it closed behind me. I let her down, and she stumbled back a step as I toed off my boots, yanked off my shirt and my jeans, and then leaned against the front door, stroking my cock. Her head tilted, lips parted, her cheeks flushed pink. She could have whatever she wanted at the candy store.
“Get naked and suck on the monster ‘cause he wants to fuck those tits,” I said.
She tore off her thin sweatshirt. “Greedy monster.” Her breasts bounced free of the material, and my skin heated at the sight, my cock pulsing in my grip.
Mrs. Morris’s hedge trimmer rumbled to life, the lawn mower roared from across the street. Lenore laughed as she kicked off her shorts. “I’m going to make you groan real loud now.”
“Gimme your best,” I said on a grunt.
Her fingers went to her panty. A panty made of thin straps barely covering her.
“You keep that shit on,” I said, my hand pulling on my cock. “I’m gonna bite it off you as soon as you’re done with me.”
Lenore only grinned, her nails dragging up my thighs, a hand going around the base of my cock. She got on her knees, and her tongue swept and slid its wet heat over my balls.
My heartbeat hammered against my ribs as she finally took me in her mouth, her eyes on me. I fisted my hands in her hair, heat exploding in my veins. “Yeah. Yeah. Ahh, fuck…”
Afterwards, I got down on the floor with her and bit off her panty, just like I promised. She moaned, begging for my mouth, but I teased her, taking it slow, one thin satiny strip of strap at a time, one small lick at a time. When I was done with it, that panty was nothing but shredded strips hanging from a band, like a little flogger.
I tore it off her and ran it up her thighs, down her slit. “What do you think I should do with this now, Sunshine?” I whispered roughly, snapping it over her clit.
She let out a gasp, her eyes fluttering, back arching. “Yes…”
I whipped her clit with it until she came again. Needing her in my mouth, I flipped her over on all fours, gripped her ass cheeks and licked at her. I felt every quiver, heard every moan wherever my mouth sucked and nibbled, my tongue lashed. To be in her again, taste her again was fantastic. She stretched a hand back and grabbed at my hair, keeping me close, tugging on me hard as I ate her. She yelled out as she came. I rose and pulled both her arms back behind her, holding them against her lower back, and thrust inside her. I fucked her right there on her entryway floor, hard and fast.
Greedy, greedy monsters.