Harper twisted her blonde hair into a loose bun as she stood in Ghost’s kitchen. She curled her toes into the thick area rug. The house still smelled of incense and cologne, with hints of body wash coming from Ghost. She tucked a few stray curls behind her ears and then laced her fingers together.

Ghost wanted to date her, or at least that’s what he said. She still didn’t understand. Her brain kept coming up with every ulterior motive, but if he just wanted to fuck her, why was he being so nice. No one else had taken the time to do more than turn her away and bend her over. They didn’t look at her. Kiss her. They didn’t caress her like she mattered.

She closed her eyes as she imagined what being loved would be like. She didn’t imagine sex. Kisses, hugs, and cuddling—she had always found herself jealous of the couples she saw who just—touched as if that was all they needed.

“Harper?”

She opened her eyes and saw Ghost watching her with concern.

“I’m sorry.”

“Harper, you’re fine. Are you okay?”

“Tired, the twins are active.”

Ghost’s laughter was deep and attractive, she realized she loved the sound of it.

“They definitely are. They’ve been out here a few times. Would you like to lay down for a nap? I can make dinner when you get up.”

“I…I couldn’t do that, it would be—”

“Not rude, if you’re tired, I don’t mind. Come on,” Ghost said and held out his hand.

She nervously nibbled at her lip.

“I promise you’re just going to take a nap.”

“I’m being stupid.”

Ghost’s calloused hands took hers. She dropped her gaze to see her slender hands engulfed in his. His skin was warm and rough, yet gentle.

“You’re not stupid. I’ll get you all tucked in, and then I’ll go pick you some flowers. Have a favorite color?”

“I’ve always liked purple.”

She let him lead her toward the stairs to his room. He didn’t tug roughly. It was almost like last night when he’d walked beside her. She liked he didn’t stand behind her or push her forward. Her stomach jumped and twisted with nerves, but not fear. It was an odd thing to not be afraid; she was always scared.

They stepped into Ghost’s bedroom. The huge bed was unmade which she found weird. A smile pulled at the corner of her mouth. She almost held onto his hand when he pulled away but didn’t want to embarrass herself.

“Sorry, it’s a mess, I didn’t take the time to make the bed. I was trying to get to Joker before he disappeared.”

She watched as he bent over the bed and straightened the sheets. His t-shirt stretched across his broad back. He fluffed the pillows and stood.

“He does have a tendency to hide out when he wants to avoid people.”

“Lay down.”

“I don’t sleep.”

“Then you definitely need to lie down, even if you don’t sleep, you can relax.”

“I don’t know how.”

“This is all it takes,” Ghost said and laid down on the right side, then patted the spot beside him.

“I thought—”

“Nothing is going to happen.”

“Do you know—”

“You’re a beautiful woman, that’s all I need to know unless you want to share. I didn’t sleep last night.”

She walked to the opposite side of the bed, and she hesitated for a few minutes before she took the spot beside him. A sigh slipped passed her lips at the feel of the firm, comfortable mattress. It was so different from the lumpy futon she’s slept on for the past few years since she was able to afford her own place. Most of her furniture was hand-me-downs or thrift store finds. The pillows were fluffy and not flattened down, she could get used to this bed.

“I scraped together spare change until I could afford my first dress.”

“What did it look like?”

“It was peach and so soft, it was from a thrift store, but I was so happy.”

“I’m sure you looked gorgeous. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in pants.”

“I love dresses.”

Was there something wrong with her dresses? She always felt pretty in them. Being skinny, she didn’t have a lot of curves; the dresses made her feel feminine.

“I wasn’t criticizing you for your dresses. My whole wardrobe consists of jeans and t-shirts, I don’t think I’ve worn a suit since I moved here.”

“I bet you look handsome in a suit.” Her face heated yet she tried to ignore her embarrassment.

She turned her head on the pillow and watched as Ghost rolled to his side. She couldn’t get over how handsome he was, but the part she was hung up on was how nice he was being to her. Not once did she have the urge to flinch or protect herself. Even with the Crews, who she had come to consider family, she couldn’t let her guard down. Always waiting to wear out her welcome.

“I always felt like I was playing dress up. Appearances were everything. It was tiring.”

She frowned at the sadness in his voice. He always seemed to be smiling. It was disconcerting to see the man unhappy; she didn’t like it. She decided to change the subject.

“What was it like living in New York City?”

She occasionally went to Atlanta to shop with Twitch or Elijah. Sometimes she thought about packing up and moving back, somewhere she could be invisible or start over.

“Noisy.”

“Tell me the good things.”

“Well…” Ghost shifted closer. “I grew up there. Everything was normal. There were the shows. Galleries. Parties, but there were also the mundane things that happen everywhere no matter big city or small town. Since I moved here, I found I liked the quiet and laid-back pace.”

“Do you ever get lonely out here,” she asked as she rolled to face him, hugging the pillow to her chest.

She didn’t feel like she needed a shield against Ghost, but years of guarding herself against violence and pain putting something between them was an involuntary response.

“Everyone gets lonely.”

“If you don’t want—”

“It isn’t that I don’t want to answer, I’m just trying to come up with a response that doesn’t make me sound pathetic.”

“You couldn’t sound pathetic.”

“Gregory invited me here to meet Bull, I always said I had too much to do. The truth was, I was miserable and hiding.”

“Did you love your partner?”

Calloused roughened fingertips danced along the back of her hand. She clenched her fingers around the pillow to disguise the shaking. She hid her face as his fingers eased between hers.

“I was an eighteen-year-old kid, I thought I loved him—”

“But?”

She quietly chuckled when he sighed and rolled to his back, yet he never let go of her hand. He seemed to hold on a little tighter while his thumb stroked over her skin. She knew it was silly, but she couldn’t help the butterflies that circled in her stomach. She stayed on her side and studied his profile. His beard was long and thick, perfectly groomed. His chest powerful and his belly rounded and yet firm. She wondered what it would be like to curl up against his side. She’d never cuddled before, she wondered—

“I loved him in the beginning, then he cheated the first time. I was in my early twenties. I forgave him, but it was never the same. After a while, it turns into routine.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No need to be sorry. Why don’t you talk about yourself more?”

“I’m not all that interesting.”

“You might not think so. Would you mind if I asked you some questions? You can always refuse to answer.”

“O…okay.”

“You’re a nurse, why don’t you work at the local clinic?”

“I didn’t finish. I had an—”

“You had a what?”

“I was going to say accident. I had to drop out and just never went back.” She glanced at the leather of her cuffs. Thick and dark brown, just wide enough to hide everything but the edges of her scars. “It wasn’t my calling. I love sitting with Nettie though. Her lucid moments are longer now.”

“Why wasn’t it your calling,” he asked.

“I don’t know. I loved the caretaker aspect, but I wasn’t crazy about the blood.”

“Understandable.”

“What do you want from me?”

She flinched, rolled to her back and froze before the question had completely passed her lips. Her survival instinct kicked in and she prepared for the hit she was sure was coming. Her respiration increased as fear stole through her. It was always the first mistake, the justification for the first slap or punch. No, not justification, she didn't deserve—

“Hey, look at me please,” Ghost implored.

He was so close his breath caressed her cheek, and his palm cupped her opposite one, gently urged her to turn toward him. She kept her eyes tightly closed. Trusting the tenderness of his tone warred with her inherent urge to survive.

“Okay, you don't have to look at me, just listen.”

Ghost's beard and mustache tickled her cheek as his firm lips brushed the sensitive skin below her ear.

“At this moment, I don’t want anything from you, just this. Conversation, your presence, your smile and rare laughs. One day I’ll want a date, in the outside world, holding your hand and not see this…” His rough fingertip stroked the grooves she knew were between her brows. “On your face. I like you. I think you’re beautiful. And one day I hope you’ll believe me. That’s it, no ulterior motives. I only want to spend time with you.”

The warm tickle of tears from under her lashes and slipping down her cheeks preceded a sob she barely concealed.

“Shh, Harper,” Ghost whispered.

Her cries increased as he kissed away the salty drops of her tears at the corner of her right eye.

“It’s okay, come here.”

Ghost’s voice was gentle, filled with a tenderness she’d never heard directed at her before. He rolled her toward him with a soft pressure on her hip and her body laid fully against his. Her flat stomach conformed to the firm curve of his, and his powerful rounded pecs pressed to her small breasts. One of his thighs were as thick as both of hers. She trembled uncontrollably at the overwhelming sensation of being held for the first time in years—if ever.

She had never felt as delicate as she did as his large hand splayed across her lower back.

“You’re probably exhausted, how about we just take a nap and when we wake up, I’ll make us some food.”

She couldn’t answer around the knot in her throat and did something she had always wanted to do, she cuddled. She shifted into closer contact with Ghost. Absorbed his warmth, the smoky scent of his skin and nuzzled his beard with her forehead. A small smile pulled at her mouth as his beard tickled her nose and all she could do was move closer. She didn’t want to think about anything other than that moment. A memory she could hold onto when Ghost grew tired of her, and she needed something to remind her that, at one time, she was safe.