Chapter Two

Jase

I check myself over in the mirror of my bathroom and hear the light tapping sounds of my little’s feet coming down the hall. “Daddy?” she calls, and like a little beacon of the only light left in my life, she makes me smile as her face appears next to me at the bottom right of the bathroom mirror.

“Yes, princess?” She fell asleep on my chest last night as we watched her favorite Despicable Me movie. Avery, my five-year-old pride and joy, is still wearing her princess dress. I swear she would never take it off if I didn’t make her. She looks just like her mama as her dimples deepen with my nickname. She has Lainey’s eyes, brown with touches of honey running through them.

Every morning, when she wakes up and smiles at me like that, I swear I feel a tight grip in my chest as I remember her mother. My wife died three years ago of ovarian cancer, and it still tears through me like a riptide when I see our daughter look up at me with a smile so big I would do anything to shield her from the pain.

“You know you’re going to have to change before I take you to Nana’s, right?” I lift her up in my arms, and her eyes meet mine.

Avery looks deep in my soul when she grasps my jaw, covered in a light five o’clock shadow, in her hands. “No, Daddy. Nana Mae says I can wear this everyday when I see her.”

I smile, my dimples now matching hers as her little voice innocently convinces me that my mother is right and I’m wrong. I swear my ma is always pitting her against me. She studies my face, intrigued by my nose, like she has been since she was a baby, pulling and squeezing it. “I think Nana Mae spoils you rotten.”

Avery pinches my cheeks and giggles, and that sound makes me puff out my chest. This little ball of light and laughter is my world, and I’m blessed to have her here with me. She makes the hard fucking days bearable.

“No, Daddy, she doesn’t. She says you are just a caveman.” She chuckles then makes a funny noise, mimicking the sound of a Neanderthal. I make note to tell my mom to stop teaching her how to be my demise. I’m surely fucked. Because when Avery grows up, I will have to buy a shotgun for every room, so I have easy access to one when any fucker tries to get in to date my daughter. Just that thought has me angry inside and out, my body going hot.

“‘No, Daddy. No, Daddy.’ What am I going to do with you, little bug?” I start tickling her, and she struggles to break free while thrashing in a fit of laughter.

“You will just have to give me to Nana! She’ll protect me!” she yells around a hard laugh from deep in her gut.

“Not possible, little one. I’m your protector.” I stop tickling, and her laughs settle as she catches her breath. “And my protector you will always be,” she whispers back to me what I taught her to always respond with when I say that. That was the first daddy/daughter lesson I taught her when she really started to talk. It’s the words of my soul, and I hope she never loses sight of that, even when she finds someone and no longer puts me first. I even have the words tattooed on my chest, so I take her everywhere with me.

I immediately shove that thought to the back of my mind so I don’t lose my shit in the bathroom before work. Setting her on her feet, I tell her, “Go get your bag ready. We’re gonna be late, and Nana said she’s making you pancakes.”

“Pancakes!” she hollers, running back to her room down the hall, our moment long forgotten by a child’s attention span.

Turning back, I take another look at myself and decide it will do. My hair is in desperate need of a cut, and today I did my best to style it. That will have to fucking do, I think to myself as I leave the bathroom. Today I have a busy day ahead, meeting with contractors for the new housing development going up on the outskirts of town. I do home design blueprints, and I’m meeting with the investors to show them the four different home designs we plan to build on the land.

I run my own business from home most the time, but every once in a while, especially in the start of construction, I’m the busiest. I make great money, and I get to spend time with Avery more than most parents do.

“All right, little one. Let’s go,” I holler from the front door, and seconds later, she comes bounding down the hall and into the front room. Still in her princess dress, she went with tennis shoes, and her hair is a mess.

I can’t send her to my mom’s this way; she will throw a fit. These are the moments I realize my lack of dating life is killing me. I can’t do her hair in ways a mother can, or nurture her in a way a woman can. I’m afraid she is going to grow up resentful if one day I don’t give her a mother to help her grow into the young woman I know she will one day want to be.

But no one has ever been able to spark a need in me. I haven’t touched another woman since Lainey passed, and the one date I went on ended in disaster when my best man, Harlen, thought dating a hooker would help.

That smug fucker is always doing shit to pull my chain. That reminds me; I’m supposed to meet him and his girl tonight.

“Come here, crazy girl.” I scoop her up and walk back toward the bathroom, setting her on the counter as she smiles up at me, unfazed. She was too young when her mom died, and that is the only thing I can find comfort in. Because if Avery ever had the chance to know how incredible Lainey was, her mourning would’ve been unbearable.

I find her brush and start untangling the knots as gently as my six-foot, bulky frame can. My hands alone are bigger than her face. I always fear I’m going to hurt her, but she’s tough. The makings of a girl raised by her father.

“What are you smiling and giggling about, chuckles?” I smile down at her when I take note of her light laughter.

“You should see your face, Daddy. You look so scared.” Her tiny hands come to her lips, and she laughs when I furrow my brow.

“I’m not scared. This is my normal face.”

“That’s not a good one.” She shakes her head, still smiling.

“Are you saying I’m not good-looking?” I act affronted, teasing her. Nodding her head, her smile deepens. “Oh that’s it, little bug. Come here!” I finish her hair, and then pick her up over my shoulder, wrapping my arms extra tight around her legs so she doesn’t slip.

“Daddy! Put me down!” She wiggles and squirms, but her laughter tells me she loves every second. I know I am. My only light—she is my only light.

“Nope, we are dropping you off at Nana’s just like this!” I bring my hand to her sides, just next to my head, and I tickle her.

She fights some more until I swoop up her bag and get us out the door. Once in the car, she sits in the back seat, singing and talking nonstop about her plans with Nana for the day.

This is my life, just the two of us.