Five days later
Technically, this didn’t qualify as being stood up. There’d been no specifics mentioned. So Alec equated this to being jilted. Okay, not really like that either. Jilted implied relationship, and although Alec had been all prepared for that, he was pretty sure he’d gotten the brush-off way before boundaries had even had a chance to be established.
He’d been more of a hit it and quit it. Nail and bail. No strings, no commitment. The way he had always preferred things. Until now. Key had clearly wanted sex, a singular thing. Alec had wanted more sex, a plural thing.
More sex with just one man.
Lots more sex with just one particular man.
Alec might only be happy had Key stopped by every single night for the last five nights and pinned him against the sofa again—that rough, firm palm pressed between his shoulder blades, holding him in place as Key took him from behind.
Yeah. A deep unsatisfied breath escaped as a sigh.
Why were his feelings hurt? They’d had one night. Alec dropped his car keys in their place and went for the kitchen. He filled a glass with ice and headed to the bar. Once he’d poured a glass of Grey Goose, with a splash of soda and about the same amount of lime juice, he took a long drink.
“Alexa, I’m home.” The lamps all illuminated and soft music began to play. His Roomba rolled across the floor, heading for its docking station. The Roomba was his latest gadget addition to the house, bought two days ago.
And why was retail therapy not working better to relieve the heartache in his chest?
“Alexa, why does heartache hurt so much?”
She replied, “Sorry, I’m not sure.”
Hmm. He wasn’t sure either.
Perhaps the heavens would take pity on him, and he’d be fired on Monday. That had hope igniting in his soul. He could lose that horrid job on Monday, be out of town by Tuesday, resting on the beach with Blaine by Wednesday. That would get him away from Dallas before he did something stupid like drive by Key’s shop. Alec cut his gaze toward the patio door. Of course, the note was still attached. Folded like he’d left the thing, just like he’d done every time he left the house. With long strides, he walked to the door, and ripped the note up, balling it with one hand and tossing it away.
“Alexa, why doesn’t Key want me?”
“I’m sorry. I’m not sure.”
For a device connected to all the information in the world, she had a problem answering the hard-hitting questions. Perhaps she just didn’t want to hurt his feelings. Alec shrugged and drank the rest of the vodka in his glass, relieved at the blanket of numbness that crept over him.
So a week without working, a new position waiting on him that intimidated the hell out of him, and the knowledge that Key wasn’t ever coming back seemed a lot to absorb. Alec refilled his glass.
He’d lost hope for a phone call but had hung on to the possibility of a drive-by. It was Saturday night, perhaps his biker would just show up. Except it was ten thirty, and no Key. Alec drank a hearty gulp of the vodka, and closed his eyes, letting the alcohol work.
“It was just sex. Blowing off steam. Grow the fuck up,” Alec said aloud, rolling his eyes at all this pining he’d done. The self-scolding didn’t help. No matter how many times he spoke those words, they didn’t relieve the want or the desire. Everything had been so damn perfect when they were together. They needed to keep it hidden. They weren’t talking long-term commitment. Alec could pass his time, building his case to drop out of the race while the biker stayed huddled up in his bed. It just seemed so right.
Then you dump him when you leave? The question hit him in the gut. “Fuck no!”
Without knowing what he’d done, Key had helped open his eyes to everything his family expected him to give up. Key made him think, challenged him on a level he needed. He’d met his match, or at least he’d found someone who could possibly keep him interested and always guessing. Alec craved that in his life. Life had become so damn mundane. Alec walked the few steps back to the bar and poured another drink. He’d done little more than stand at the bar, thinking about Key.
His phone rang and Alec almost toppled the glass reaching into his jeans pocket. Adrenaline spiked then plummeted after seeing Blaine’s name on the screen. He almost didn’t answer, except his friend could be a diversion, and he seriously needed that right now.
“Hello.”
“You should be here! You’re missing a great time,” Blaine yelled into the phone. There were loud people and even louder music blaring through the phone.
“I don’t even care where here is,” Alec shouted, taking a drink, ignoring the voice ringing through his head calling him a liar.
“I’m in Cabo. Come tomorrow.”
“So you heard?” Alec just shook his head, letting the ice cubes clink against the glass. Like Blaine wouldn’t see right through that.
“Heard what?” Blaine shouted. Right.
“Acting isn’t your strong suit,” Alec said dryly, taking another drink.
“Come, Alec. Stop the bullshit. It’s done. You don’t have the temperament for CPS. It’s Pride here. You should see these guys. Makes that biker look paltry.”
Alec gave a humorless laugh. He should meet up with Blaine. It was exactly what he should do. He’d tried restraint. He had. It wasn’t working for him. Hell, he’d spent more money fighting the boredom since arriving in Dallas than he’d ever spent jetting around the world.
“How long you there for?”
“A couple of weeks.”
“Look. I’m waiting on something here. If it doesn’t pan out, I’ll be there. I agree. This is done. I need to move on,” Alec said, gulping down the rest of his drink. Some of those words might have been slurred. Good. Well on his way to meeting his goal for the evening.
“Then I’m holding you to it. How did it go with the biker? Anything happen?”
“We hooked up,” Alec said honestly.
“Really? How was it?” Blaine shot back.
“Just like you’d suspect. I gotta go.”
He started to hang up, but heard Blaine ask, “Wait. You don’t sound right.”
“Go party. I’m good.” Alec disconnected the call and headed for the bedroom. He made it all the way into bed, television turned on, and laptop in his lap before he gave in to the need and pulled his phone up.
He’d planned to do this tomorrow, but tonight seemed fine too. A onetime contact. Nothing too needy, just a simple text. Not even enough to throw anyone off that might be standing around Key when the message came through. He typed the text and decided right then that if he hadn’t heard from Key by Monday night, he’d stop his bellyaching and move on.
“Come by this weekend. I’ll be home.” He paused a second, then added, “I can’t get you out of my head,” but deleted those words. The first two sentences showed interest, the third seemed love-sick—definitely not endearing to a man who hadn’t made contact all week. Alec sent the text and lay back on his pillow, phone in hand, waiting for a response. At some point, he fell asleep.
Sunday morning came, and no response.
Nada, nothing.
So this was how rejection felt. His heart seriously hurt.
=♥=
Keyes opened up the bike, passing the stretch of road where he’d met Alec. He exhaled at the tightness gripping his heart. Damn. Why did he feel so messed up over a guy he couldn’t have? Keyes managed to push all those thoughts and feelings away as he throttled the gas and let the wind, darkness, and quiet ease him. Nothing was as bad as all his mood swings this week. Everything calmed. Just him, his Suzuki, and speed. Keyes didn’t want the ride to end. This was where he needed to be all week long.
Business had picked up. Not anything to write home about, but he’d kept on a couple of the day workers, gave them jobs, and they’d stayed busy. One of the guys ICE picked up, Louis, came back. Keyes had always liked and trusted him. He’d be a lot of help keeping the shop going when Key couldn’t be there.
Fox was true to his word. His old man had stayed away and held his tongue when they’d crossed paths. His father had stared daggers at him, but other than that, the man had left him alone.
Nobody had heard from the feds, which seemed weird. The club’s attorney even showed her frustration with the lack of communication.
Life wasn’t so bad—maybe had actually gotten better in many regards. And it wasn’t nearly as hard to stay away from his phone as it had been in the beginning. He had finally reconciled that if Alec had wanted to hear from him, he would have called, and the guy hadn’t. Not at all. Not one single word. Alec could’ve also come to the shop…
Yeah, Keyes called bullshit, and he had promised this week that he’d always be honest with himself, no matter how painful that truth might be. Alec wasn’t going to take a chance on him. He wouldn’t jeopardize either of them. Keyes had struggled mightily after leaving last week. It wasn’t fair, but he could face the facts. He’d pretty much accepted his course in life. He just needed to stay on his road and stop venturing off.
Rounding the corner, he opened up the bike as he hit an almost empty freeway. He had to find a new place to live, maybe rent a house somewhere. He also decided to put the alcohol down. He’d drunk more this week than the combined fifty-two before. His body needed a break, he needed a break.
Maybe ten minutes later, Keyes pulled up to the clubhouse. The place looked empty tonight. Weird for a Saturday night, except almost every member had an old lady now. Even Dev made something official this week, shacking up with someone new. A chick Keyes was supposed to meet next week sometime. A college girl, friends with his sister.
Keyes knocked the kickstand in place, turning off the engine, letting a long yawn slip free. He was tired as he grabbed his duffle bag and headed inside. The floor squeaked as he went through the front door. The lights had been turned down. He spotted Mack pretty much wasted, slumped over a table. He’d obviously been drinking from the collection of bottles nearby, and as relaxed as he was, he was probably high. Mack reached out, almost missing his hand as he did the slap handshake, mimicking something he and Dev always did that ended in a knuckle bump. Mack missed that completely. Keyes just chuckled, then walked across the large open space toward the hall that held the rooms.
“Key, this yours?” He turned toward the Ace. The guy had a cell phone in his hand. He patted his leather cut, didn’t feel his phone there or in his pants pockets. He went over, taking a look at the phone before grabbing it, entering his security code, and the phone opened up.
“Where’d you find it?”
“A prospect found it in the parking lot right after you left. I figured it was yours.”
“Thanks. I’ve been shit lately at keepin’ up with my crap,” Keyes answered, lifting a hand.
“You’ve been off this week,” Ace added, and he couldn’t deny it.
He walked down the hall to his room then used the key to open the door. Most of these rooms were vacant, only here for some privacy, or situations like Keyes’s. No one lived there permanently but Ace. Keyes used his boot to shut the door behind him as he dropped his duffel on the floor. He had his cut shrugged off one shoulder when he noticed the waiting text message. His heart sank. He knew that number by heart. He’d read Alec’s note, over and over, memorizing even the efficient script Alec used to write. No wasted markings—clean, cultured, and efficient just like the man.
Keyes tossed the cut aside while opening the message. The way his heart pounded so loudly, he wasn’t sure the guys in the next room hadn’t heard. Damn, this was such bullshit. He had control of nothing. He stepped back, his legs hitting the mattress, and he sat as the words appeared on his screen. Alec’s sexy voice read each word in his head.
“Come by this weekend. I’ll be home.”
What did that mean? His eyes narrowed as he read the two sentences again and again. Alec wanted a booty call—absolutely. Keyes closed his eyes and fell back on the small mattress. Why couldn’t Keyes just be okay with a hookup? He’d always preferred it that way. Why did it feel like something ugly and degrading all of a sudden? It was sex. Who would be dumb enough to turn down sex? Let alone sex with Alec. Keyes closed his eyes and willed his heart to calm down. Alec and he had really great sex, and if Keyes were being honest with himself, he’d just go ahead and admit the time he shared with the man had meant something to him. Fuck!
He was up off the bed, tossing the phone on the small dresser as he stalked back to the bar. What was wrong with him that he couldn’t just go with the flow? He’d spent his entire life going with the fucking flow, rolling with the punches, never getting too deep about anything.
Alec was all sorts of deep, and he wanted to submerge himself in everything Alec.
Keyes gave in to the seething frustration that wouldn’t fucking give him a break all damn week by balling his fist and punching the hard bar. Pain shot up his arm and blood welled then ran down his knuckles.
“Whatever the fuck’s goin’ on with you needs to end. You’re being a puss,” Ace hollered and shoved a bucket of beer in his direction. He pushed his aching fist between the bottles and into the ice.
Keyes carried the bucket back to his room then sprawled out across the bed. An hour later, Key had finished all six longnecks and managed to pull Alec up on Google. He found pictures with his family, with his dickhead father, one with that Blaine guy.
He sneered at the image—he would have never left Alec alone on the side of the road. He closed his eyes. Pain shooting through him. He wanted Alec so bad it hurt.