Chapter 26

Riley

“Riley? We need to talk.” Veronica’s voice carried through the bathroom door. It was superior déjà vu, except now, I already knew what the verdict was regarding my pregnancy, and this time I actually was on the damn toilet.

“Uh, I’m kind of in the middle of something here, Ron,” I called out, clutching my cell in my hands. “Can it wait?”

“No? I have to talk to you now.”

I sighed. “All right, give me a sec.” I wasn’t anywhere near the point where the baby would be lying against my bladder or, god forbid, kicking me in it, but I’d noticed an uptick in the amount of times I needed to pee a day.

I placed my phone on the edge of my bath—yeah, I liked doing a little research while I had a pee, so sue me—and finished up. I flushed, washed my hands, and checked my reflection in the mirror.

Not showing yet, obviously, that would take a few months, but I had dark circles under my eyes, I hadn’t washed my hair in two days, and the chocolate stain on my shirt was…bizarre.

Total class act, ladies and gents. I so have my shit together.

“Riley!”

“I’m coming, dammit, keep your panties on,” I said, and shuffled over to the bathroom door. I opened up then backpedaled a step. If I looked a little haggard, it was nothing in comparison to Ron. Her hair was stringing around her shoulders, and her skin was waxen.

“Whoa,” I said. “Do you need to use the bathroom? Wanna shower?”

“Yes, I do,” she replied. “But first, we gotta talk.”

“Your hair.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. I had a late shift. I haven’t had the chance to shower yet.”

I’d stayed home and watched movies with Nessy until her bedtime to keep her company, tonight. I couldn’t begrudge Ron her state—gosh, she worked damn hard.

I’d been on a few job interviews the past week, but I hadn’t heard back yet, and while I couldn’t buy too many groceries for Ron at the moment, at least I could help her save on babysitting fees.

“All right,” I said and scooched past my best friend. “Should we talk here? Or would you prefer to sit down? Here being the bathroom door.”

She didn’t laugh. OK, so it’d probably been a lame joke, but Ron usually laughed at any of those I made, partly because she had the same sense of humor as me. Something was seriously wrong.

“My bedroom,” Ron said. “Nessy’s watching Paw Patrol in the living room.”

“Oh god, miss me with that kid’s shit,” I replied, and Ron did crack a smile then. Neither of us were huge fans of any of Nessy’s favorite kids shows, but we could probably recite the main plot line for any given one in our sleep.

I followed Veronica to her bedroom and was pleasantly surprised—it was super clean in here, her sheets neatly made, and her clothes folded on the end of the bed, ready to be packed away. She’d themed the whole room a dusty rose color. It was sweet and girly, but the dumbbells in the corner gave it a tough undertone.

She gestured to the bed, and I walked over to it, smiling at the picture of her and Nessy on the bedside table. She was such a good mother. The fact that she could do this on her own made me feel better about my situation.

If push came to shove and Jax wanted out, at least I was confident it was possible to be in this situation and make good. To bring joy into my son or daughter’s life, no matter the circumstances.

“Seriously, sit down,” Veronica said, and clicked her bedroom door shut.

“OK, sheesh. Relax, Mom.” I plonked down on the mattress, next to her neatly folded clothes, and smiled up at her. Nothing returned. Tough crowd. “OK, so what’s up? Everything OK at work? Oh god, you didn’t get fired, did you? That Jeremy creep hit on you again?” One of the regulars at the restaurant Veronica worked in was a total freak—he hit on her whenever he got the chance, and I’d witnessed it firsthand a couple days ago when I’d gone there to hand in my resume.

“No, nothing like that.” Veronica walked to her dresser, scraped open the top drawer and sighed again. “Before I talk to you, I want you to know that this happened totally by accident, that I didn’t go snooping around or anything like that. I was just—OK, I’m seriously nervous.”

“Now, you’re making me nervous,” I said. “What’s going on, Ron?”

She reached into her dresser, her back to me, and sighed. Finally, she turned to face me. She lifted a stick and held it out. Even from my spot on the bed, I could make out the words:

Pregnant

3+

“Oh,” I managed.

“I found it in the trash in the bathroom, under like a bajillion sheets of tissue paper when I took it out this morning. Riley, is this yours?”

“Yes,” I said.

Veronica held the pregnancy test out at arm’s length. “You’re pregnant?”

“Yes.”

“Oh. My. God.”

“Yes.”

She trembled, and I got up from the bed, hurried over to her and took the stick before she dropped it. “Ron, calm down. You’d swear you were the one who just found out she was pregnant.”

“I—I can’t believe this.”

“And I can’t believe you kept a stick I peed on in your dresser drawer,” I replied, smiling. “But hey, shit happens.” It came out breezy, even though I’d been on edge ever since the night I’d found out. Ever since Jax had turned up on the doorstep and offered me my dream on a platter with strings attached. There would always be strings attached with him—that was just how he operated.

“It’s my brother’s, isn’t it?” Veronica asked.

I took a minute to stall answering that. I walked over to the trash can in the corner and dropped the stick into it. It clanged on the metal bottom—and stay there this time. “Well, given that I haven’t slept with anyone other than him and that it’s highly unlikely that it was an immaculate conception, the answer would be yes.”

“Cole’s baby.”

“Jax,” I corrected. “He changed his name, Ron.” I wouldn’t defend him to her in any other sense, but it was weird for me to hear a different name from her lips, referring to a man I’d been so intimate with in so many ways.

“I can’t—I don’t—I—what? How?”

“I’m not going into detail, if that’s what you’re asking,” I replied.

“Riley, this is unbelievable. I don’t understand how this happened. I mean, I know you’re careful when it comes to this type of thing, you always have been, so how did this even happen?” Veronica’s tone was a little too accusatory for my liking.

“Excuse me?”

“How did it happen?” She repeated and folded her arms across her blouse. “You’re smarter than this, Riley.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” I said. “Who are you to tell me I’m smarter than this when you’re a single mother yourself? Nessy’s the best thing that’s happened to you.”

“Yes, she is, but that doesn’t change the fact that being a single mother is damn hard, and that I would’ve way preferred for Nessy to have a strong father figure in her life.”

“And who’s to say my baby won’t?” I asked and pressed both palms to my abdomen.

“Have you told him yet?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because I—look, that’s none of your business, Ron. You’re my best friend in the damn world, but I just—you’ve been so weird ever since Jax came into the picture. You’ve been different.”

“What’s that got to do with anything?” Ron yelped it out.

“What’s it got to do with…? Are you kidding me? If this had happened with anyone other than your brother, you would’ve been over the moon and supportive. Instead, you’re standing there accusing me of being irresponsible, preaching to me when all I need right now is some god damn affection.” The last two words came out in a shout.

“Lower your voice,” Veronica hissed.

“I will if you don’t provoke me,” I replied then moved toward the exit. I couldn’t stand another second of this. I couldn’t be in the room a minute longer with her if she’d judge me instead of help me.

“Riley, be honest with me here,” she continued, “He knows. He knows, and he kicked you out of his apartment because of it, didn’t he? Just tell the truth.”

“Huh?!” I spun around again and faced her, my eyes narrowed so she was barely visible through the slit. “Have you totally lost it? How could he possibly know, Ron? I took the pregnancy test here, remember? You think I took the test there, kept it for a few weeks, which, by the way is totally fucking gross, then threw it in the trash in your bathroom?”

“Don’t lie, Riley. You know you can tell me anything. You just don’t want me to say I told you so again.” Veronica clipped off the end of each sentence through gritted teeth. “You could have taken one at his place and one here to be extra sure. This all makes sense to me now—he knows.”

“You’ve got to be shitting me,” I replied. “You have lost your mind. Do you think I’m that petty? Veronica, my baby is more important to me than being right. I wouldn’t lie about any of this stuff to save myself the embarrassment of admitting my flaws to you. I already apologized for the way I acted when I came to stay with you weeks ago. How can you possibly think that?”

“I don’t think. I know,” Veronica replied. “I know who Cole really is, even though you wouldn’t believe me, and I know that he’s a manipulator or he wouldn’t have convinced you to get in bed with him. You’re in love with him, Riley, and you don’t even see how crazy it is to be pining away for a man who doesn’t see you as anything more than a lay. He’s a loser. A con. Come on!”

“Jesus,” I whispered. “Do you hear yourself?”

“I hear you making excuses for him. I see you retreating into your shell every time we watch a rom-com or listen to music that mentions anything to do with love. I’m not stupid, Riley. He’s manipulated you into—”

“That’s enough,” I snapped. “I’m not going to stick around and listen to this. I—I’ve got to get out of here.”

“Riley, wait.”

“No,” I said and wrenched her bedroom door open. I hurried down the short hall, into the living room where Nessy sat, glued to the screen and grinning at whatever Chase or Ryder were up to, their kiddie voices filling the air. I snatched up my coat and my cell, then slammed my way out the front door, shut it behind me, and took a breath.

That’d been horrendous. The fact that Veronica seriously thought I’d let Jax treat me that way made my stomach turn. Did she see me as that weak? Or was she so blinded by what’d happened in the past that she couldn’t fathom that Jax wasn’t Cole anymore?

Their weird sibling relationship wasn’t my business. Clearly, Veronica wasn’t thinking straight if she believed that Jax knew—she’d calm down and come to her senses once the crazy fog lifted.

The baby, that was my business. Figuring out my next step and how I’d tell Jax about the pregnancy, one hundred percent my business.

Anger clouded my thoughts. The image of Veronica, nostrils flared, mistrust written all over her face, floated in front of everything else. I had to get rid of this feeling, or I’d never make the right decisions.

The only time my body and mind were totally in sync was when I danced. And I hadn’t done that in ages. I needed it now more than I needed anything else—apart from Jax, but that was out of the question right now.

Then do it. Go back to the studio. Dance.

I hesitated, chewed my bottom lip, then nodded to myself. I knew my studio inside and out, and there was a pretty easy way to get in through the bathroom window. Did it matter that Jax owned the place now?

No, of course it didn’t. It wasn’t as if I’d run into him there or anything.