“But that’s crazy,” says Hailey. “You can’t just quit your job like that.”

“What the hell am I supposed to do?” I say.

My eyes feel tired and strained. It’s been a long day of self-debate and self-criticism, a ton of emotional confusion.

“Welcome to the world of the non-virgins,” says Hailey, sighing. “Sex just makes everything so much more complicated, doesn’t it?”

I nod my head.

She’s right. She’s totally right. Maybe I never should have had sex with Ryan. I’d be better off, in a way.

But then again, if I could go back and do it all over again, I’d do exactly the same thing. It was just too hot to pass up, even if I could time travel like in one of those silly movies.

I’ve spent the entire day debating about whether or not I should go in to work.

I ended up debating the whole day and not going at all. That’s why I’m sitting here with Hailey now. She’s got the day off from her job, which is good because she’s really starting to hate it with a passion. These last few days, a series of horrible things have happened to her at work. One customer even threw a bowl of cold soup in her face, while yelling at her about the temperature—“If it’s not hot enough to burn your face, it’s not hot enough to drink.” What a freak. I mean, who does that?

But also, who just stops going to work? I basically just started the job, and it’s not my dream job… but it’s becoming my dream job. I’m working on exciting new programming projects, and I’m just dying to know if my idea worked and was as good or better than the Simmons algorithm.

We’re sitting on a bench at a park near our house. There are sounds of children playing from far away, but they’re out of our field of vision.

An old man is sitting on the bench opposite us, and he keeps drifting in and out of sleep. There’s even drool hanging out of his mouth, getting tangled up in his long white beard. Even in his sleep, he’s still clutching a cup that says, “Hungry. Please help.”

I get up and put a five dollar bill in it. He doesn’t wake up.

“Why’d you do that?” hisses Hailey at me.

I shrug. “Feeling guilty, I guess.”

“Guilty? Lily, come on. What are you going to do? You don’t have time to feel guilty, and I don’t even understand that…”

“I got what I wanted,” I say. “I had the interesting job… the cool programming project, the super hot billionaire who loved fucking me…”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself,” says Hailey.

She says that, but she’s also been admonishing me about my decision. So that’s not a huge help.

“But what am I going to do?” I say. I’m completely overwhelmed, completely confused. My pulse feels much faster than it normally is, which I don’t think is a good sign.

“You can’t keep fucking him,” says Hailey. “I know this isn’t much help. But did you really think the douchebag billionaire was going to be emotionally available? After all the stories that I sent you? After everything you had heard about him?”

I shrug. “I just didn’t think he’d be so cold… and right after sex, too.”

“Some guys are just douchebags,” says Hailey.

“I know, I know,” I say.

“Listen,” says Hailey. “You don’t have to fuck him to work there… He didn’t even know you were his employee. Why don’t you just go back to work? Make up some excuse about how your dog was sick or something… or better yet, use me as an excuse. Tell them they can phone me and I’ll tell them I had to go to the hospital for appendicitis or something good like that…”

“I can’t just show back up,” I say.

“Sure you can. Or tell them you went to the old office or something. Just play up the airhead thing…”

I shrug. “Maybe it would work. But I just can’t work with him. I just can’t do it. Not after the way he was ignoring me. I can’t be anywhere near him.”

“So what are you going to do for work?”

“Maybe I’ll go back home and work at the furniture store.”

“You can’t do that,” says Hailey, her eyes widening. “You just can’t.”

I shrug. I’m feeling despondent and apathetic. “It’d be easy,” I say. “Trust me, I know all there is to know about furniture. I grew up with it.”

“But this is your dream,” says Hailey. “You’re a good programmer. I mean, you were the one who came up with the idea on how to imitate this other algo thingy that you’re talking about.”

“I don’t even know if it works.”

My phone beeps at me.

“This better not be Ryan calling me again.” I’ve lost interest in fiddling with the phone settings because of my depression, and for right now the text messages and calls make exactly the same sounds.

“Just pick up and tell him it’s over between you two, but you’re still going to work…”

“I’m not going back there,” I say. “I’m just not”

“Just pick it up!”

I finally grab my phone, and realize upon looking at the screen that it’s a text message rather than a phone call.

“It didn’t work,” says the text message. It’s from Ryan, of course.

“Shit,” I say.

“What is it?”

“The algorithm didn’t work.”

Hailey shrugs. “What does that mean?”

“It means Ryan’s company is screwed. No one’s going to buy something that’s not as good as the new one, which is like a thousand times better.”

“Well screw him,” says Hailey. “He’s a douchebag, remember? Remember the way he treated you?”

“Yeah… but I thought my idea would work.”

“Doesn’t mean you’re a bad programmer,” says Hailey.

“I think it does,” I say. “I hardly have any experience, and the one thing I tried on a real project didn’t work at all.”

“Doesn’t beat Simmons’s algo,” says another text message that comes from Ryan.

“He’s not even asking about me,” I say. “Why I’m not at work.”

“This algo thingy is just way more important to him,” says Hailey. “Don’t take it personally… You’re hot, trust me. You’ll find someone new in no time.”

She actually starts turning her head to look around, as if she’s trying to find someone for me.

I laugh at this.

“What?” says Hailey.

“You’re not going to find anyone for me at the park…”

“Well then, I just might find someone for myself. Hey, why don’t we find a pair of hot guys and just flirt like crazy with them. They’re bound to want to get some action. You know how guys are.”

“I don’t think I do,” I say sadly. “But I’m starting to realize…”

“You just need some more cock,” says Hailey. “You just need to see that this Ryan guy isn’t the best guy ever.”

But he is. That’s the thing. I’ve never even seen anyone as hot as he is, not in magazines, TV, or the movies. And even without experience, I know that no one’s going to fuck me like he can.

“Come on,” says Hailey, standing up and tugging on my arm.

“I’m not in the mood,” I say.

Hailey sighs and sits down again on the bench.

“What am I going to do with you?” she says.

My phone beeps again. Another text from Ryan.

“Where are you?” he writes.

I pause for a moment, hesitating.

“Either don’t write him, or tell him to fuck off,” says Hailey.

But part of me longs for him still… I don’t think I can just do it like that. I’m not like Hailey. And Hailey’s never been with anyone like Ryan Hudson. Not that there is anyone like him.

“I’m going to go to the bathroom,” I say, pointing to a little structure that houses the park bathrooms.

“Don’t write him anything stupid,” Hailey calls out after me as I walk towards it.

In the bathroom, I stand there, locking the door behind me with a deadbolt that slides roughly. The toilet is disgusting and I’m certainly not going to sit on it, let alone stand anywhere near it, so I stay by the door where the sink is.

“I’m quitting,” I write back to Ryan, in a sudden flurry of my fingers.

“OK,” says his text message. “Meet me at my place. I need your pussy.”

Despite my feelings for him, it makes me blush.

But what fucking nerve!

Who the hell writes something like that?

“You don’t even care why I’m quitting?” I write back quickly. Too quickly. I let my emotions take over without thinking clearly about what I’m writing.

I’m starting to sweat from anxiety, even though it’s not hot today, just a comfortable cool that now feels chilly to me. The bathroom is horribly drafty and the smell is starting to get to me.

“I figure you’ve got your reasons,” writes Ryan. “Are you coming over or not?”

“And if I don’t? You’re just going to call someone else?”

There’s no text for a long moment.

I take the opportunity to write back.

“If you don’t even care about me, then forget it,” I write. “We’re over.”

Fuck him.

He doesn’t give a shit about me.

My face is flushing with anger as I jam open the deadbolt, pulling the door with too much force, causing it to slam into the bathroom wall.

I stomp back across the park to Hailey.

“What happened?” she says, upon seeing my face.

“I told him it’s over,” I say. “I just can’t do it. There’s just no way… a guy like that…”