Declan:

Only two patients drop by the Clinic of Love Friday evening. “I don’t like this,” Blake says, his brows furrowed. “Goat doesn’t have another doctor’s office. We should be busy.”

“Would you really visit a clinic that doubles as a sex parlor?” I ask him.

Rhonda, who’s eavesdropping on our conversation, cuts in. “It’s not a sex parlor,” she snaps. “You make it sound sleazy.”

“It is sleazy,” I shoot back. “I don’t care what people do with their private lives, but your precious doctors were charging women money to get them off. You can sugar-coat it all you want, but they were running a glorified brothel.”

She doesn’t like that at all. Her lips tighten in annoyance. Blake gives me a searching look and shuts the door of the examination room so Rhonda can’t overhear our conversation. “This is Grant all over again, isn’t it?” he asks sympathetically. “Are you worried that the UN will back away if they get wind of this story?”

His words take me by surprise. The UN job has barely crossed my mind in the last few days. Now that I think about it, I realize I’m sleeping better. I haven’t had a nightmare all week. The stress that constantly blanketed me has lifted, and I’m relaxed and happy.

Last week, I’d been weary and drained. One week in Goat and I feel transformed.

That might have a lot to do with Lana Davey.

“Never mind the UN,” I reply. “Tell me why you’re bothered that business is slow.”

“I like being busy, Declan,” he says evasively. “Just because I’m not throwing myself into one war zone after another doesn’t mean that I’m not passionate about my work.”

“I know that.” Blake’s one of the most talented doctors I know. He’s a brilliant diagnostician, and he cares deeply about his patients. It’s a rare combination.

I blame his parents for his reluctance to settle down. His father only married his mother because she became pregnant with Blake. Throughout his childhood, his parents made it clear that he was the reason for their unhappiness and resentment, and as a result, Blake’s subconscious has associated a stable job and family with misery. Goat’s the only place he feels connected to, and Elvira the only family member he cares about.

“Why don’t you ask Elvira?” I suggest. “She knows everything that happens in town. I’m sure she has an opinion about this clinic.”

Blake’s lips lift in a grin. “I think it’s safe to say that Aunt Elvira has an opinion about everything,” he jokes. “I think I’ll have breakfast with her tomorrow morning. You want to join us?”

“In the morning?” Elvira Grantham eats breakfast at an unearthly hour. The only thing I want before seven is sleep. Then again, I’m just as curious about the clinic as Blake is. “Fine,” I grumble. “I guess it won’t kill me to wake up at dawn.”

The next morning, Elvira surveys me with eyes that dance with amusement. “Declan,” she exclaims. “Out of bed before seven. Will wonders never cease?” She pours a cup of coffee and hands it to me.

I seize on the caffeinated lifeline. Blake waits for his great-aunt to butter her toast. “You’ve heard about the Clinic of Love, I take it?” he asks her when she’s done.

She shakes her head. “I wish the two of you would have talked to me before you agreed to fill in for those sleazy doctors,” she says. “I would have warned you to stay away.”

“Too late for that,” I mutter under my breath.

“What’s the deal with the clinic anyway?” Blake asks her. “Why on Earth did Ted Swanson and George Rhodes decide to open in Goat?”

She sighs. “Oh, that’s simple enough. George Rhodes’ grandfather died last year and left him the building. And you know Goat. Everyone here wants to be open-minded and tolerant.”

I sip the coffee slowly. “The clinic doesn’t seem to have any legitimate patients.”

“They did at the start,” she replies. “Once word got out about their extracurricular activities though, people stopped going.” Her expression is one of prim distaste. “It just doesn’t seem very sanitary.”

Blake lifts his chin. “Will they come back?” he asks directly. “If the happy-endings are a thing of the past, will people give the clinic a try?”

Whoa. I sit up in shock. Blake’s actually thinking of staying.

Aunt Elvira sips her tea. “A proper clinic run by real doctors will do well in Goat,” she says slowly. She fixes Blake with a piercing glance. “It won’t be glamorous,” she warns him. “There are no Hollywood starlets requiring Botox injections here. Just normal small-town folk and a community that desperately needs doctors.”

“I don’t need glamor,” Blake replies steadily. “I want to stay, Aunt Elvira. It’s taken me all my twenties and half my thirties to figure it out, but this is what I want to do.”

Her face softens as she smiles at her great-nephew. “Are you sure, Blake?” she asks. “It’s summer now. It’s nice outside, and the town is crowded with tourists, lively with visitors. Winters here are long and lonely.”

“I’m positive.” Blake pulls out his wallet and takes out George Rhodes’ business card. “I’m going to call Rhodes and make an offer for the building.”

My best friend is finally settling down. I should be happy for him. I am happy for him, I tell myself firmly.

Even though my life suddenly seems very empty in comparison.

We’re walking back from Elvira’s home when Blake clears his throat. “I want to talk to you about something.”

His tone alerts me that something’s up. “What is it?”

He doesn’t look at me. “I’ve been thinking about Lana.”

A prickle of unease crawls up my spine. “Lana?”

He nods, still avoiding my gaze. “I’ve never thought about dating someone seriously,” he says. “My life has always been too unstable. I’ve done my fair share of sleeping around, but I’ve never contemplated a relationship.”

“Until now?”

“We’ve only been out with Lana three times,” he says. “It’s very early days, but I’m in my thirties, and I know what I want. I’d like to see more of her.”

I stop in my tracks and stare at him. “Are you asking me to back off?”

“No,” he replies instantly. “I’d never ask you to do that, and I’d never want a woman to come between us.”

We pass the local diner. The ‘G’ neon bulb has burned out, and the sign now reads ‘oat Morning.’ Mrs. Beaumont, who owns the restaurant, is standing outside her front door, surveying it with a frown. “I can’t think of why the bulb keeps burning out,” she grumbles to the young waitress next to her. “This is the third time in three weeks that I’ve had to change it.” As we pass her, she waves to us. “Are you going to be at the fair tomorrow?” she calls out.

I paste a smile on my face. “We wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Blake replies. “Don’t tell Marla, but we have money on your banana bread, Mrs. Beaumont.”

He’s lying through his teeth, but Mrs. Beaumont smiles widely, pleased as punch. We continue walking back to the Nanny Goat, and once we’re out of earshot, I pick up our conversation. “What are you saying, Blake? I don’t understand.”

He takes a deep breath. “I like Lana,” he says. “You do too, I can tell. It’s time for you to make a decision about what you want, Declan. On the one hand, you could take that job at the UN. Or,” he pauses, “you could pick the less glamorous path. You could stay in Goat and work at the clinic, and we could try to make a relationship with Lana work.”

Outrage stiffens my spine. “You think I’m doing the work I do because of the glamor?”

“Either that or you’re trying to prove that you’re not your brother,” he says flatly. “Be honest with me, Declan. When was the last time you were happy practicing medicine? You even applied for a desk job, for fuck’s sake.”

There’s more than a kernel of truth in what he’s saying. I shy away from the uncomfortable realization and focus on his other statement. “You’re talking about both of us being in a relationship with Lana. That’s crazy.”

“Why?”

I give him an exasperated look. “Because it is,” I reply. “What do you think Elvira’s going to think?”

“I think that Elvira’s the last person in the world who’d stand in the way of me being happy,” he replies. “And I think if I’m going to be in an unconventional relationship, Goat’s the perfect town for it. ‘Embrace Your Weird,’ remember?”

We walk on in silence. I’m lost in thought. I know my friend. When he makes up his mind to do something, he never backs away. He wants the clinic, and he wants Lana.

If I take the job in Geneva, I’ll see Blake and Lana at Christmas and major holidays, but would I be able to spend time with them? I’ll always look at them and see what I could have had. They’d be a couple, and I’d be out in the cold.

I’m at a turning point. It’s time for me to figure out what I really want out of life. A job at the UN, or a shot at love?