“Sheep dipped?” I repeated. I actually felt dizzy with confusion. My life felt like it had been turned upside down. “For Pete’s sake, Kit, stop talking in damn riddles. What the heck is sheep dipped?” I lashed out.

“It’s someone who gives every impression of being a civilian, or one of the sheep, but in fact, is in deep cover. We carry out the operations that our government does in secret.”

“You can’t be,” I gasped. I ran both my hands through my hair. My whole life was turning out to be a bizarre, unbelievable nightmare. First, Sawyer told me he was secretly in love with me, then the man that Sheriff Bradley said wouldn’t kill a fly that was shitting on his face came around and killed an innocent wolf, now Kit was telling me he was some sort of black operative in the military.

How could this have happened to me? I didn’t even want a soldier, and I get a Delta Force, or Navy SEALs, or whatever the hell his squad was called.

“I am, Lara. That’s what I do. I’m part of a special forces team. I was recruited into it seven years ago. Me and my battle buddies were chosen because of our skill sets, our lack of family, our mental make-up, and our dedication to our units. Whenever a job comes up that our government cannot be seen to be involved in, they come and get me.”

“A job?” I whispered.

“They are jobs. In and out, short and sweet, one and done. When they are done, I come back here and become the guy who was discharged from the army and is suffering from a mild form of PTSD again …”

I felt sick to the core. “This has to be a joke.”

His voice was filled with regret. “I wish it were.”

“You said you used to be in the military. Not that you were neck deep in it!” I accused.

“I never said that. I never said I was done. I would never do that, because that would be lying … to you, my angel.”

“And lying by omission is okay?” I screeched.

My voice was so loud it echoed around the room. I couldn’t breathe properly. I wanted to lay down on his bed, crawl into a fetal position, and cry until there was no pain left and the awful thoughts going through my head were dead. But I was stronger than that. Wasn’t I?

“Fine, tell me everything now then. I want to know,” I demanded. The voice that came out of me was so intense it was almost foreign.

“I can’t tell you anything. You shouldn’t even know what you already do. We’re not even allowed to reveal our true status to anyone, not even our families. For most part the families of black operatives think their loved ones are either discharged because of injury, sickness or mental problems.”

“Am I allowed to know where you are going tonight?”

“I don’t know yet. I’ll be briefed once I get to the base.”

“What will you be doing?”

“Even if I knew, I couldn’t tell you.”

“But they are all dangerous assignments?”

“Some are more dangerous than others.”

“Oh my God! You could die tonight, couldn’t you?” I gasped.

“Yes.” The word was spoken quietly, but it hit my heart like a bullet.

“I can’t believe this. No way. This is not happening to me again. You’re calmly telling me you could walk out of that door and never come back! Like my brother and my father.” My voice was shrill with the hysteria of thinking he could die.

“What does black ops mean? Are you doing illegal things?”

“Often, that is the reason we are used.”

“Why?”

“Because the end justifies the means.”

“If you’re doing illegal things it means what you are doing is wrong.”

“There is a big difference between what is legal and what is morally right and wrong. What is legal changes with time. Once it was legal to hunt wolves. Now it isn’t. Once it was legal to buy and sell black people. Now it isn’t. I’m doing the right thing. Someone has to stop the horrible things that happen in this world. Someone has to step up and do the right thing.”

By then I was crying, but my voice was steady. “Why does that someone have to be you?”

“If everybody thought that about their loved ones then there would be no one left to step up to the job.”

“I have given up my dad, my brother, and my mother for my country. Are you asking me to give up the man I love for this country as well?”

“Can we talk about this when I get back?”

“What is there to talk about?” I asked bitterly. “Not only are you a soldier, you’re part of a unit that undertakes the most dangerous missions.” I stopped. “Do you kill people in these secret missions?”

“Sometimes.”

I covered my mouth with my hands. “Who are you?”

“I’m the man who never thought he’d find a woman again. I’m the guy who’d given up hope. I’m the man who loves you.”

If he had said those words a few hours back I would have been the happiest woman on earth, but now, they rung hollow. Love? This was not love. He tricked me. He knew I never wanted to be with a man in the army and he let me fall in love with him. “If something happens to you this time, and you don’t come back, will I even know about it?”

The silence was like a knife in my chest.

“I won’t even be told, will I?” I croaked in disbelief.

“Probably not. You’ll just read in the paper that a veteran died in an automobile crash on one of the roads nearby, or something like that.”