“Where were you yesterday and this morning?” Elaine demanded fiercely. “I called, and called, but there was no reply.”

I grinned. “At Kit’s.”

“What do you mean at Kit’s?”

“We did it, Elaine,” I whispered.

“What?” she yelled.

“Shhh …” crusty old Mister Sullivan scolded, flapping his loose lips together.

“Oh! Shhh yourself,” Elaine exclaimed rudely, before turning to me and whispering urgently, “You didn’t?”

“I sure did,” I confirmed firmly.

“No,” she gasped in her most scandalized voice.

I nodded.

“You can’t have. I don’t believe it.”

I nodded more vigorously. “It’s just like you said, Elaine. Out of this world. I thought I was falling into a void. It was just so amazing.”

Elaine leaned forward. “Oh! My! God! You’re serious, aren’t you? You got your V card punched!”

I grinned happily. “I think I’m in love.”

“Stop being so sappy. You are not in love. It’s just sex. You’ll get over it.”

“It’s not just the sex. I just feel something here.” I touched the area over my heart.

“Like how you felt about Sawyer?” she asked sarcastically.

I frowned and shook my head. “No, not like that. That was just a childish crush. I was a girl then. What I feel for Kit is totally different.”

“Really? What do you feel?” Her voice bristled with naked curiosity.

“When he touches me, it feels as if I’ll go up in flames.”

Elaine laughed. “That’s called lust, honey.”

“Shhh …” Mister Sullivan hissed again.

“Oh, for crying out loud. Have you not gone home yet?” she asked, completely irritated.

“I’m trying to read the paper here,” he grumbled.

“Well, switch off your hearing aids and get on with it then,” she snapped.

“It’s not lust,” I insisted. “I feel … connected to him. As if I belong to him and he to me. It’s like I’ve been looking for him all my life.”

Elaine stiffened suddenly.

“What?” I asked.

“You’ll never believe who just walked in here.”

“Who?” I whispered, my own back tensed and straight.

She didn’t need to speak. I knew exactly who was behind me. Citrus and rosemary cologne filled my nostrils. I turned around. “Hello, Sawyer.”

“Hello, Lara. Elaine.”

“Hey, Sawyer. How are things going?” Elaine asked in her fake saccharine voice.

“Great, thanks.”

“How’s Kayleigh?”

“Yeah, she’s fine.” His voice was tight and strained. Oh, mistake, mistake. Elaine could scent a good gossip from miles away.

“The wedding is soon, isn’t it?” Elaine asked, switching to her you-can-tell-me-anything-cause-I’m-your-good-friend voice.

“July.” His voice was as clipped as his answer.

“I bet Kayleigh must be right busy with all the preparations,” she said so innocently, you’d swear butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth.

“She is.”

“Where is she now, anyway?”

“New York.”

“Kleinfeld?” she guessed, her voice riding a few octaves higher.

“Yes.”

“Oh my, how exciting! Has she already picked out her dress?”

“Err … no … I mean. I’m not sure if she’s decided yet.” He cleared his throat. “Can I have a word, Lara?”

I smiled even though I was furious with him. How dare he approach me here in the library? He knew this place was crawling with gossipers so I’d be forced to talk to him, or risk being labeled as the Scarlet woman trying to break up the most anticipated wedding of the century.

“Of course. Did you want help with the wedding?” I asked politely.

“Outside, please.”

I frowned. He wasn’t even attempting to pretend. “Right. If you lead the way.” I turned to face Elaine and said loudly enough for Mister Sullivan to hear. I notice that he had stopped asking us to Shhh. “This shouldn’t take long, Elaine. I’m just helping Sawyer with the present for the bride.”

We went outside with me walking, stiff as a board, behind him. I heard the door close. A gust of cold wind blew into my face. “What do you want?” I demanded frostily.

“I know you stayed at his house during the blizzard,” he accused as if he had the right.

“Sawyer,” I gritted, barely holding on to my temper, “I don’t have to account my movements to you.”

“Just tell me he didn’t take advantage of you.”

The vortex of fury in my chest grew. “I’m not telling you anything. It’s none of your business.”

He made an anguished sound. “Oh my God! He did, didn’t he? I’ll kill him.”

“How dare you?” I began, my hands were trembling with frustration, but he was in full flow.

“You gave what was mine to him,” he seethed. “How could you? You know I love you. I’ll see him in a cold meat wagon before I let him have you. You’re mine, Lara. I’ll show him. I’ll show that ugly bastard.” He turned and walked away from me.

For a second I stood at the top of the steps, not moving, my mouth open, astonished by the fierce malice and rage in his voice. I never realized such strong emotion existed within him. As a matter of fact, I didn’t think anyone suspected him capable of such feelings. He was so soft and gentle Elaine once called him the ‘nutless wonder’. Surely he couldn’t be the sweet man who let me feel his handsome face with my fingers. I still had the bust I made of him hidden away in my cupboard. I would have to take it out and destroy it; I no longer wanted it. A shiver went over me.

While I was standing there, frozen with shock, I heard footsteps coming up the pavement. They stopped at the bottom of the stairs, and then came up the steps. Vanilla mixed with rose scented face powder. My heart sank. Of all the people I would have to meet just at that crazy surreal moment it had to be dyed-in-the-wool doomsayer, Marybeth Luther.

I schooled my features, and prayed she had not heard Sawyer’s parting threat. Taking a deep breath, I turned towards her with a friendly smile. “Hello, Mrs. Luther.” To my horror my voice was shaking.

“Don’t you Hello me, Missie. Your disgraceful goings on have reached my ears.” She harrumphed.

“What disgraceful goings on?” I asked.

She snorted. “Play the innocent with someone else. I know what’s going on. You’ve taken up with that heathen beast in the forest.”

“He’s not a heathen beast. He’s a good man,” I defended automatically.

“A good man? He’s never set foot in our church. There’s a place in hell for men like him,” she huffed.

Another time I wouldn’t have reacted to her sanctimonious preaching and scolding, but after what Sawyer just put me through, I couldn’t take it lying down. “Well, then I’m going to the same place because I got naked with him,” I confessed hotly.

Her gasp of shock at my confession exhilarated me.

“Lara Jane Young,” she breathed, her hand hitting her heart with a soft thud. “What on earth has gotten into you? That’s a shameful, disgraceful thing to say.”

“Why?”

“Well, it’s just not Christian,” she blustered.

That made me even more angry. Who was she to tell me how Christian I was? “Is that what the phrase, ‘Yes, they’ll know we are Christians by our love,’ means when you sing it at the top of your voice from the front row of church every Sunday?”

“I promised your poor mother, God bless her soul, before she went to meet our Heavenly Father that I’d keep an eye on you. She’ll be turning in her grave to know what you’re up to, young lady.”

“My mother would have been pleased to make the acquaintance of such a gentleman as Kit Carson. Now, if you’ll excuse me I’m late,” I said as regally as I could, and began to walk down the steps. There was fresh snow on top of the ice so I took my steps carefully. Falling flat on my face was not the dramatic exit I wanted to make.

“Mark my words, child. Stop this madness now, or you’ll be sorry.”

I turned around slowly. The snow under my foot crunching. I was determined not to let anyone bully me. I knew what I wanted and I refused to cower to anyone in this matter. “No, I won’t,” I said clearly. “And I’m not a child. He’s a beautiful man. You just can’t see it because you’re only looking with your eyes.”

That shut her up.

I walked over to the grocery store to buy apples, ranch dressing, pop rocks, and canned pumpkin. I was planning to make a pie to take with me to Kit’s.

Daisy, the bubblegum chewing cashier was a bit funny with me as she rang me up. I guess the whole town had heard. I spent the night in the forest with the heathen beast.